InvidiaRed

She could go with an establishing narration that the gender is unclear, followed by constructions like “The blond\e” or “s\he ran”, or just have the original fair haired thing and then after that go for non gendered descriptors like “stranger” or “helper” or “helpful stranger” similar.

I scared the crap out of my cat when I read this, because I just burst out laughing. I wish I could write something like this. Unfortunately, my humor doesn't make it well when crossing over to the written word. I am now left scratching my head and thinking ugly thoughts about my muse, as she got me into this mess. Yeah, I blame her. She came bursting awake, shouting "Oh Yeah!" like a demented version of the Kool Aid man, and planted the idea in my head.
Now, I can't see phones being an option. Computers could be something like a traveling library on demons that updates itself in each town, but there is the deal with batteries. Solar maybe? I don't know what to use to replace phones. Radios, walkie-talkies and other like items have too limited a range. Owls carrying packages and letters works for wizards and witches, but what about Muggles? 
I have people waiting on an update on the other site, I am waiting to post here until I do some editing, but now I am snagged on this. 

“Oh god, We’re gonna die.” Said Pam bleedingly heavily.  The pack of Wendigo had been a nasty surprise. The sun was setting and somewhere in that dark forest those things waited.
“But look on the bright side. We have full bars.” Jon stated morbidly content as he showed her his phone screen though cracked to hell in back the bars were fully visible
“Nobody’s dying tonight ya dipstick.” Came a third voice.
“Thank god your phone still has those third-party apps installed.” They both turned to see a group emerge looking wary but unbowed. The End had come and gone and they remained.
“Jon, You owe me a keg even at the end of the fricking world your bad taste in apps saved us.” 

“Oh god, We’re gonna die.” Said Pam bleedingly heavily.  The pack of Wendigo had been a nasty surprise. The sun was setting and somewhere in that dark forest those things waited.
“But look on the bright side. We have full bars.” Jon stated morbidly content as he showed her his phone screen though cracked to hell in back the bars were fully visible
“Nobody’s dying tonight ya dipstick.” Came a third voice.
“Thank god your phone still has those third-party apps installed.” They both turned to see a group emerge looking wary but unbowed. The End had come and gone and they remained.
“Jon, You owe me a keg even at the end of the fricking world your bad taste in apps saved us.” 

As a Diablo player, why not have the smartphone as an artifact, something which landed along with the angel (as per Diablo 3)? Holy artifacts are always a good way to explain tech..

That made me spew juice all over my cat, and now he is peeking out from under the coffee table glaring at me, fluffy tail just a swishing.
I can just see Seamus doing that, lol.

I now have a mental image of the Diablo 2 Sorceress’s lightning powers being harnessed towards charging a smartphone.
*Hits chain lightning*
*Phone explodes Samsung style.*
“Whoops! Too much juice there….”
 

Creation has always been messy. In some small manner we’re just channeling it in a fashion different than most. 

You’ll know. It can be pretty telling that the first scene of a character is them in a sex scene and the purpose of it.
Its kinda like IRL the pacing can be important. Some people click and go straight to the adult fun because they’re comfortable enough with each other to do it. Bonding through pillow talk and the second round.
Others require time and effort. Cultivating the relationship as you would with an exotic flower and hoping desperately you didn't kill the fricking thing with too much water or not enough shade.
There's the romantics who have to do the whole fricking song and dance number.
there's the antiromantics who just look at each other and go “we’re together now.” followed by a “O.k” life continues as normal types.
Let the characters decide when to smoosh naughty bits together.

Well, that depends… what exactly do you expect to get from being redeemed? Absolution? I don’t have any kind of faith, so I’m afraid that’s out for me personally. *g*
If a character has done bad stuff, there’s not much they can do about it but resolve to do better the next time that situation presents itself, but it’ll always be something they did. In terms of story, it’ll always be part of their background. It’ll be on their sheet, so to speak. And that’s not dissimilar to life. A blank slate is impossible. Forgiveness might be feasible, but then again in my eyes even that might not save a character.
Say at some point in the past a character has committed a murder, or even some stupid petty crime like a theft. They might spend the rest of their lives (in the story) doing the right thing. They might do more good than all the other characters put together, but that initial crime is still impacting upon everything they do, not just altering them, but altering the whole storyline around them in its turn. And because of that, it’ll always come back to get them. Everything in a story is significant, even a dropped handkerchief. Going on from that, every action a character takes is significant, and redemption is a cheat. It’s an attempt to delete the handkerchief. It’s already written. It’s already done. There’s no changing it. There’s no escaping it. There’s only dealing with it and writing the consequences of it right up to the very end, whatever those consequences turn out to be. 
To redeem a character in those terms… impossible. It’s like Astinus says to Raistlin. You may as well throw a pebble into a fast flowing river. It changes nothing. History continues.

Authors can never be redeemed because they’re the master villains
 

In some ways, I do and yet I don’t really care whether every reader even likes any or all of my characters much less holds out hope for some form of redemption.  I will provide the redemption in my own way, even though most will not see it.  As with all things, there is a balance most commonly sought between the readers' perception of right/wrong, good/evil, etc.
The character traits that I tend to instill within my original works are more along the lines of attitude and personality because it's so much fun to let out the evil now once the reader has 'fallen in love' with the character.  Unless of course, they're looking for a goody-goody which is entirely boring!  Characters that have the ability to reach out and grab the hearts and minds of the reader should be just as diversified (within the contextual setting) as people are in real-life.  People, in my opinion, are like diamonds, there are many facets to an individual personality.  Which one sparkles depends greatly on which way you turn the diamond, so it should apply to characters.
I’ve read through numerous stories in the archives and honestly, the ones I love the most are the ones that hold my attention because as a reader there is some level of redemption sought, but it’s the fact that I didn’t get my way that makes the story so much more appealing to me.

Well said! It’s tragic you were discouraged before, but it’s good to see you’re powering through and coming back to your art. 
It’s great to write for yourself, but don’t be too hard on yourself for keeping your audience in mind too. Of course you can’t please everybody: some people out there will never be pleased no matter what. But you can get to know your particular audience, and what appeals to them so you can have fun playing with their emotions. 

But for the sake of staying on topic… Of course I agree with the people who said it depends on the characters and the situation. I personally don’t mind having chars jump into bed immediately, as long as there’s a damn good reason and it makes sense to the plot. Personally if I have a promiscuous main, I’ll have sex from the start, sometimes even with the main love interest, but if you do that, you need to balance it with a heap of conflict between them to make that initial roll in the proverbial sack interesting. 
Good luck with your story, and don’t hesitate to ask more questions! 

I believe whole heartedly that true love takes time to foster and develop.  Which is why I write smutfics and not YA.  I don’t got all year to write and you don’t got all day to read, so the sooner the better.  However long it takes to establish setting, character, and motivation.  How long that will take is highly variable but once they’re established, it’s best not to tary long.

A Gamer Girl With Bite
Thanks for taking the time to look at the story and comment, I appreciate it. Rumor has it Eparlegna later denied ever having known Janet. “Fuckssakes, you don’t stick your tentacles in crazy.”
Maybe she meant to summon him in his normal form but she got the pages stuck together and there was a spaghetti recipe in there too. 
Janet’s an odd character. I didn’t really think I’d ever put her in a story again, but here she is… I’d say I’m pretty good at writing self owns, but most of ‘em are about me!
Thanks again for the comment!

Never too soon!
JayDee, filthy pornographer.

Ah, you’ve stumbled on to the great mystery of fiction with any relationship, because there is no true answer. It depends on the writer’s intentions and the specific characters. You seem to have already done some thought, and THAT fits these characters, Another story may have a different answer.
Try not to worry about how it will seem to others, the first person you need to please is yourself.  (And a writer can do either extreme if set up right)

Start in the action. That will tell you what needs to be in the start. I started one NaNo in the middle of the escape from a prison and decided it was better to do the worldbuilding in later flashbacks,   Memory lane trips are kinda boring starts to me as there’s little tension or relevance to current action.  You need to hook the reader and they don’t have any investment in a flashback until they have met and feel for the character… GL!

It starts with the salad, it ends up with waking inside a Wicker Man.
 

So avoid the salad then. gotcha

So avoid the salad then. gotcha

Any substance that causes harm?
Well, if they’re ambushers. Fecal matter smeared on weapons will induce nasty infected wounds. Rust works too.
Depending on environs. Wild mushrooms run the gamut of harmless to everyone who tasted the stew is already dead.
Depending on the intellect.  Arsenic.
the frankly horrifying effects of generally everything in the nightshade family.
Aconitine The Queen of Poisons
if you’re going more underground. Radioactivity is always a nasty surprise. Considerably so if it's been ingested.
Quicksilver.
Etc...

Up next, @InvidiaRed reviews Part Seven!
 
Thank you!  I definitely wanted the love scene between Luzurial and Kevin to be part of her healing process, and one of the biggest parts of that, for me anyway, was that first line you mentioned.  She and Kevin could just kiss for a while and then go to sleep.  Kevin’s a teenage boy, so he’ll be somewhat disappointed, but he also feels very strongly for her (there’s a word for that, but he’s afraid to use it), so he’d definitely be willing to do it.
However, as Luzurial realizes, avoiding things that remind her of her rape will mean that Eparlegna has effectively taken sex away from her forever, and the only memories she will have of those acts and sensations will be those of pain and shame.  So she decides right there that she will not allow that to happen, and that she wants to have, as you said, a positive experience, to feel sexual pleasure as it was meant to be: not used as a setup for hurting her or a way of shaming her, but given as a gift, for no other reason than that the giver wants her to have it.
Yeah, I like that line too, especially since Eparlegna basically has nuked cities in the past.
There’s actually a scene near the end of Part Nine where that very thing gets discussed.
Yeah, he’s basically acting the same here (assuming I’ve done this right) as he did in Whore of Heaven.  In WoH, everything worked out in his favor, but there he had planned things out meticulously beforehand, in part I imagine because he knew he was relatively weak, and any fight between him and an angel would have lasted about five seconds.  Here, though, he has a new, more powerful body, and I think the power has made him somewhat more careless.  He can torch an army, so he’s less dedicated to planning things out.  In a way, becoming stronger has made him weaker.
An archangel fights a firebreathing dragon.  If I manage to write Part Nine well (fingers crossed), that will be just as awesome as it sounds.

I don’t even know what the original story’s message was… “Really shitty things happen to good people,” maybe? That certainly happens in the sequel so you keep it running!
 

See? SEE? I fucking stand by that. Part 6 is great!
First comes the hurt, then comes the comfort. It really fuckin’ works. 
And it’s a great damn image you have here. Taking a kind a half-assed Whore of Heaven concept and really making it work!
I probably still have had more in to set the scene. I mean, I dunno her most badass moment is probably taking so many lashes before she starts screaming. Here and in the last part, she comes across as a proper badass.
I don’t really remember, but it’s a story about an X-Wing pilot being tortured and killed by a haunted spaceship. There’s wires getting into eyesockets. It’s just grimdark edginess really, but I was doing my best to write something Deathstalker would enjoy… I may even have succeeded. Was a long time ago. Unfortunately the review in question asking if I felt gross was back before I responded to ‘em on the forums so I can’t look back at what I thought at the time.
He’s a nice dude!
Oh, yeah. I sometimes forget some of the tropes. There’s a trope for that too, I expect. Cheerfully corrected! I’m glad it stayed in, I think it worked!
This kind of “What a total bastardry” at least will make it even more satisfying when they do beat his ass.
He put himself between Eparlegna and her. He’s special alright :p I kid! I kid! I’ve said it’s a great ending already and I stick by it.
Fucking awesome!