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Whoever told you that is an idiot, look at the greats, Mark Twain, Salinger, Lee; they all wrote in a nerritive that was fairly close to how they spoke, regional idioms intact. What you know best is you and your world, use it. A good rule says write what you know.

I think a swat or two over clothing is acceptable, and necessary in dangerous situations, but anything above that which involves planning, preparation, bare skin, implements etc is abuse in my book. It never happened to me, although my mother had this way of grabbing your arm, pushing your sleeve up, and slapping you hard on the forearm ten or twelve times in rapid succession. To this day I still remember how much that hurt. Mostly, when they wanted to punish me for something or other, they kept me away from my books.

Never spanked my girls, but I have to say I don't think if done right its abuse. The one swat principle I think is appropriate as long as it's doesn't become the go to for every offense. I know I got whipped with belts and switched and shoes and spoons and just whatever was handy at the time, literally made me worse. I would take it as a challenge, sort of I can take whatever you can dish out and once my spanking was done, I would repeat whatever got me the whipping in the first place, just to prove my parents couldn't break me I guess. I tend to take away privledges when they're bad, take away a 16 y/o's car away and see how fast they straighten up. If I need a quick intervention, I just pick them up and hold them till they get the message - drives the 15 y/o nuts So, not abuse if done with restraint...oh and the making the kid drop their pants...so wrong and sorta creepy! Oh that hurts DG, my kids think I'm perfect! That's my story and I'm sticking to it! Plus I'll ground the little buggers until they're thirty if they disagree

I thought it was fine, the chapters that focus on the action scenes like the upcoming assault should have either very little or no sex as it kind of interupts the flow but the chapters inbetween need it, it is a sex story after all.

I always look at it like this, write like you speak. In first person you're writing someone's thought so yeah there should be as much extra crap as normal people use in speech, in fact gramer and syntax be damned, who speaks english good anyway? As for thidr person, I always envision the narrator as some old guy sitting around a campfire telling a story; sure you want things a little more gramatically correct but you still want it to sound human.

I like my flab while writing, but I call my writing style "STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS" (insert echo-y voice here), it's first person and essentially a running commentary from inside of the main character's head. I think it needs flab for authenticity. I also think if you take out all of those words on that list you end up with something that sounds an awful lot like a term paper and not a work of fiction. Those are actually words we were told to cut out in university while writing essays. Sooo I guess if you like that sort of clinical run down, whatever floats your boat or gives you a stiffy.

Believe it or not, its best to be vague, it actually helps readers connect more with the story on an emotional level. There has been a bunch of scholarship done over it lately, I wrote a paper over it in Psych and lit a few years ago. It has to do with being able to impress your vision of beauty/yourself on the characters or some such, essentially its the same reason why in a lot of hentai the male's faces are darkened out or shadowed. *insert more you know rainbow here*