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You're very right, wanderingaddict, about the female/emotion thing. And I want to argue that not all females are like that, but I can't. At least, not well, considering I only have a small sample of women who think logically (including myself) to go by. Going specifically on the slave example (or truth), I think that's not just female's gushing over sex=love. It's also that VERY few people can do a M/s story correctly, which saddens me. I LOVE M/s stories, but I'm turned off of them for now since, like, NO ONE can do a good one (excluding pittwitch)! D: Speaking as a female: Not all of us always like the typical female/male falling in love with dominating, sex-addicted, asshole/partner. Granted, I do enjoy these every now and then, but I mostly enjoy when a story is well-written, the plot makes sense, and the characters are realistic. I think the main problem is that most of the writers that those types of stories are brain-washed by the media to believe that all, or most, relationships are like that, or that it's acceptable. I also think that many of them are fresh out of high school and haven't had a real relationship, getting most of their research from books, movies, tv, and elsewhere.

hah, I've found that this pretty much takes place along gender lines. my pal Fawnheart, for instance, is an amazing writer. the characters she creates interact with each other the way real people would, not the way she wants them to or typical archetypes would, or anything else. she is, hands down, one of the best authors I have ever read in terms of character portrayal and development. but... she has horrible taste in reading (and Fawnikins, if you read this, I'm sorry, but frankly it's true!). I mean, a lot of the stories she recommends to me I just stare at, my face twitching with anger/rage at how much of an asshole the seme/male love interest is. see, the difference in the two genders is that women tend to look at problems from an emotional-relational perspective, and at the overall whole, whereas men walk into a story and look at the individual details and the individual persons first. to add to that, men and women tend (and I mean this simply as a general tendency) to view sex differently as well, with men "compartmentalizing" sex as a physical act (more often than not) and as something that's relatively separate from love. that's not to say that men do not ever associate sex with love, or use sex as an act of love, but just that they more readily separate the two than women do. women, on the other hand, for a thousand social, evolutionary, and biological reasons, have a tendency to view sex as- while perhaps not the ultimate act- but a very clear act of love and interest. again, that's not to say that they can't separate the two either, or not have casual sex or anything, but more that they will simply tend to associate sex with the implication of love, unlike men. so my dear friend Fawnikins walks into a story about some mean vampire guy having a lot of sex with his human/wereanimal/whatever slave, and is like "oh look! this ultra hot guy is boning the fuck outta his slave! the author has written several times that they're in love! they MUST be in love! this is awesome and cool!" but then I walk in, look at the story, and I'm just like "... this isn't love. the guy belittles the slave, clearly has no respect for him/her, doesn't care about his/her wishes, and generally is an all around unlikable douche (mostly to the slave, but often to the other characters of the story as well)." to me, looking at the specific details of the interactions in the story, it's clear that there's no love. there's nothing like mutual respect, or acceptance, or even interest. the asshole doesn't care to get to know the thoughts of the slave, appreciate the slave's nonsexual qualities, acknowledge the slave as an independent person, etc. the slave is nothing but a glorified cum receptacle. "now addict" you caw, shrieking in defense of your vampire story, "you're overgeneralizing! this slave is different! the vampire master knows that if the slave really wanted, the slave could totally win a fight with the vampire so he clearly has respect for the stronger slave here!" to which I would say "no" and maybe smack you across the face (lightly). the vampire doesn't respect the slave, he respects his strength. as in singular attribute, not the actual person who possesses that attribute. the same is generally true of all asshole stories- the asshole respects the person's looks/ability to turn into a slut once some cock is in them, but they don't actually respect the person themselves. female readers/writers, in my experience, rarely pull themselves out from the idea of the 'relationship' to examine the story in terms of the two individual characters. they don't realize that the hot guy, the totally super-awesome badass that they all lust over isn't interested in the slave for anything other than the slave's ability to suck his cock. they may try to justify their story later with things like "oooh, but nooo! the vampire totally LOVES the slave's mind and really values the slave's thoughts and opinions!" ... except they don't ever actually show that, so instead the story just goes on some more with lame asshole antics. so yeah. in my experience, it pretty much falls almost exclusively along gender lines. which is really too bad, because it can be devastating for a male reader who likes strong female characters to get to the end of a story, where the strong and powerful female lead meets the one guy, this one ultra asshole, who even though he's not as smart, interesting, or cool as she is, still sets her vagina afire and reduces her to a quivering mess for no reason other than that... he tells her what to do? haha, I dunno. women like to write about assholes dominating them (partly because it's taboo, etc.) and women like to read about it, which is why some very, very horribly-stupid-on-every-level stories get published. like Twilight. if anything, it's the equivalent of the way a lotta male stories inevitably involve one or more male characters falling for a utter bitch/gold digger because she's got a nice pair of tits and a cute face. it's just that the media has shown that trope a thousand times over and over and everyone knows that men are stupid and dumb, but it's sometimes jarring to see that women can fall prey to the same traps too.

What's so "cool" about the bad boy The lure of the forbidden. It's something you're supposed to stay away from. "Momma said no" kinda thing. James Dean. Fonzy Tom Cruise in Top Gun (face it, he's an ass in that movie) I think you got part of it right with North American social conditioning. Just like many women believe they're only attractive if they have flat stomachs - even after having kids. (Frankly, you wouldn't have had more than the first if he didn't still find you attractive.) Maybe it's a control thing. The author gets to control the douche in the story that they can't control in their life. As for the reader... I think it's like in Invisible Man; one of the characters (a white woman) asks the main character (a black man) to "rape" her - she wants a controlled forbidden situation. They (the "I-want-to-be-abused" people) don't know what's outside their bubble, and they want to explore it. With the fiction, it's a "what if" - with the "asshat game" it's more of a "I know he'll toss me aside when we're done and now I know what all the fuss is about". But then, some people like being treated that way sexually. That's their kink. (Sorry for all being from the female perspective, as I know there are just as many "bitch" stories where the guy is the lameass loser, but ... I can't give you anything from a male perspective.)

This is very funny

This is pretty epic. All of the videos are.

This is Halloween