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The real-world hymen is not a membrane at all but mucosal folds. Nothing that needs to be penetrated to have sex. Your average three-year-old girl and a woman who has given birth have mucosal folds that look pretty much the same. Puberty introduces hormones that make it easier to handle penetration, but it does not make any membrane disappear. If we speak about even younger girls than three or four years old, the folds are affected by different hormones and look different, but it is still not a membrane. There exists a rare medical condition called Hymen imperforatus, meaning the cells did not die as intended during the development of the body, so there is no opening. It happens between 1/1000 and 1/10000, depending on what ethnically we are talking about. This is a condition that needs to be fixed before the girl has their first bleeding. Some girls also have this condition partially and might need surgery to be able to insert a tampon freely or have penetrating sex. Rumors about these rare conditions have probably contributed to the myth, but a more likely culprit is that, statistically, quite a lot of girls bleed during their first sex. A funny observation is that English Wikipedia lists numbers like ½ girls suffering from bleeding during their first sex, but when we measure the same here in Sweden, only 1/5 of girls bleed during their first sex. I am not expert enough to tell why this difference exists. Still, even a grown woman will bleed after a lack of foreplay and rough penetration, so maybe it is as simple as societies that are too shy to talk about sex and nudity with their kids will increase the risk that the first sex is a bad experience.

Actually, hymens are a real thing, people just exaggerate about them. The reason most girls don't notice them is because that membrane will widen and thin out as the girl develops physically. By their mid-teens most girls are physically ready for sex and wouldn't feel much beyond the slightest prick or itch during their first time having sex. If you want to include a hymen breaking, the girl depicted is gonna need to be a young one, in her early teens or preteens. As for your question, in order to be comfortable with anything, a person needs exposure to the thing, whatever it is. This does not mean that the person has to engage with this thing directly; In fact indirect exposure to things often creates a romanticized look on them. Your girl could be thinking about how her friends sometimes talk about their sexual experiences and she could form an opinion of what she thinks she would like, or how she would feel, or what she would do, as a result. Then she could try exploring her own body in a comfortable space at her own leisure. If you don't want to take time to show those experiences, then you can have her think back to these as experiences that have already happened to her. The most important thing however, is that she needs to be comfortable with the person she is going to be sexual with. If she doesn't trust that person, she won't be comfortable doing anything with whoever she's with. You're going to need to show that trust in some way, if you want it to be believable. (Yes, I know this essentially reiterated Bronx's example, but I felt maybe you'd like to have another perspective, even if it isn't much different.)

I suppose we find our perceptions shaped by the events of our lives, which also makes it harder to see the other gender objectively. I’ve always found most men to be quite as emotional as women, although they express it quite differently. Women are also quite capable of being rational and logical; emotional outbursts are not a default response in my experience. But let’s give this a shot. Your girl could have a friend who’s active sexually, and who shares bits and pieces of what she’s done with her boyfriend. Or perhaps your girl has been reading some racy manga, or watching movies that have not-quite-explicit scenes that nevertheless suggest some interesting activities. Or, and let’s be daring here, your girl is friends with a guy from down the block (they’ve grown up knowing each other), and he brags a bit about what’s he’s gotten up to with his latest girlfriend because that’s what young guys will do. Any of those scenarios would give your girl knowledge of sexual behavior without actually having sexual experience. How she gains ease with her own sexuality would be harder to write, I think. It will depend greatly on the age of the characters, and if your girl has had any experience with sex.

Annikin Skywalker has truly lost his voice. US Actor James Earl Jones dead at 93 according to published reports in Variety and other news sources. Fair winds and following seas.