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You could always try it and see how it turned out! “You miss 100% of the come shots you don’t write” -Definitely not Wayne Gretzky that time.

I was thinking more along the lines of re-writing the section so he doesn’t use his actual name until he already has his captives in the car. That could also work.

I guess the exhaustion in Whore of Heaven could have been down to a much higher rate of forced orgasms, than the consenual ones with Kevin (I mean, rather than just being down to not-very-thought-out writing). “Servant, this makes you look like someone else who has authority to be there.” “Thank you master.” “Whatever you do, don’t go out there and introduce yourself under the name they’re looking for instead.” Later “I’m Brendan… ah crap.” I kid I kid! I’m sure you’ll do fine. If you stuck with the comms SNAFU you could always make it deliberately down to someone sympathetic to Eparlegna’s aims in the National Guard being the one to get the message and not pass it on. gotta be some there same as in the PPD.

And @Thundercloud reviews Part Eight! So you and JayDee both had that thought independently. Because of this, I have officially mentioned it inthe Author’s Note, and it may become canon as of the end of Part Nine. Thank you. As you said, the idea was that humanity has been gaming out how we might respond in the event of another attack like this, but I really wanted Luzurial to be valuable for more than just combat, specifically as a source of information here. As for keeping the students outside until they’re dragged in, it’s almost funny how long I spent trying different dialogue exchanges, trying to figure out how Kevin, Abdul and Calista were going to be let into the Rupture zone, before realizing that the reason none of the dialogue exchanges worked for me was because the whole idea didn’t work; the National Guard would have to be freaking insane, not to mention that the students barely survived the Applied Theology building, so Luzurial wouldn’t be keen on bringing them into something even worse. I really like that idea! We know the hybrids are stronger than normal humans, but there’s no reason to assume they wouldn’t have other abilities, perhaps granted by Eparlegna for specific purposes, and this would allow me to explain how he worked his way past a lot of the soldiers without resorting to a communication SNAFU. Thank you again! I really enjoyed writing that. In the street scene, yeah, the incarnate sins are just monsters being fought by the military, but I do like to take the opportunity to remind readers that these things are literally condensed evil, and that should mean that a lot of them are downright terrifying. Thanks for the review!

I mean afterwards...did she still had the buttplug in her when traveling to heaven with the bodies? I suppose it could be part of the basque she transforms into a dress...or she still uses the buttplug while visiting heaven….or she gave the buttplug to Kate even if this was not explicitly mentioned. Kind of classical, but it works. I was thinking about stories where elves get upset about loosing an elven soul...if you intend to live forever then you really need to think about not loosing tiny bit after tiny bit of yourself. It was no problem really, I just thought it worth to mention.