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Great that you liked the story. It is not like each review need to be certain length to valuable. It means a lot for me that you liked it. English is indeed a second language for me, but some of the language mistakes can probably be attributed to lack of sleep. It is damn hard work to improve the language during later editing, but sometimes the alternative is not to write at all if I skip the late writing sessions. Speaking of other of my stories…considering what you have written in other reviews there are some of stories you should stay clear of...for instance I really doubt you would like Tales of Deception that is brutal enough that I got actual flame from a reader that did not read the story codes. My story Carmen Elisa Need to Die is also not meant to be a feel good story, the lead character is not a nice person by any measurement. On the other hand I have written a number of stories where the heroes prevail in the end so if you are looking for stories with an upbeat ending there are worse authors. Feel free to drop me an PM if you hesitate about if reading any of my stories and need input on how to understand story codes (single scene or something recurring) and if the story ends upbeat or depressing.

I don't think I've had this many reviews in a long, long, long time... The shelves are definitely getting a good wax for shine... Another from @InBrightestDayon Last Full Measure. From InBrightestDay on January 27, 2019 Chapter 3 It's nice to get to meet more of the characters, Tirsa in this case. I see what you meant when you said you didn't want her to apear too interested in Celeste, given that we learn here that she has issues forming successful relationships with anybody. I also wonder how truthful she was being with Ingvild about Mars. She says she has nightmares, but she also mentioned earlier in the chapter that she had never felt more alive than when she was in combat. These two things aren't necessarily contradictory, but it provides an intriguing ambiguity about the character. Finally, we learn that, assuming I'm understanding the ranking system correctly, Celeste's ex is now going to be her commanding officer. That's...going to suck. We also learn some kind of unsettling stuff about the Rebels, like how they don't do the whole "prisoner" thing. It makes me wonder about the nature of the conflict and how we got to this state between the two sides. At any rate, I'm interested in seeing what happens when they finally get to Alpha Centauri! It's nice to get to meet more of the characters, Tirsa in this case. I see what you meant when you said you didn't want her to apear too interested in Celeste, given that we learn here that she has issues forming successful relationships with anybody. My stylistic approaches have varied depending on what I'm writing and how I'm going about it. Usually, I'll throw a few together (three or four) and introduce them at an even pace (or try...). Similar to how I've come with the MCs here. Although this one is kind of different in that it is a slower intro. As for her lack of forming relationships, there is a reason for that in Chapter 4 (which, hopefully, is a good written character development... I have a tendency to push myself, writing characters and situations expanding my own ability and trying to open other people up to them...) I also wonder how truthful she was being with Ingvild about Mars. She says she has nightmares, but she also mentioned earlier in the chapter that she had never felt more alive than when she was in combat. These two things aren't necessarily contradictory, but it provides an intriguing ambiguity about the character. I never meant for them to be contradictory, so that's good. And it's good there's a little ambiguity there. As for lying... Well, that I'd like to leave to the reader. Is she lying because she's an alcoholic? Is she being honest and has almost a split reaction to combat? Finally, we learn that, assuming I'm understanding the ranking system correctly, Celeste's ex is now going to be her commanding officer. That's...going to suck. In a word... Most certainly. And you understand correctly. Adara is the platoon's second in command (2IC) as Warrant Officer, subordinate only to Hamilton. Celeste, as Sergeant Major, is third in command (3IC). Perhaps I should have put some of the jargon in an A/N. We also learn some kind of unsettling stuff about the Rebels, like how they don't do the whole "prisoner" thing. It makes me wonder about the nature of the conflict and how we got to this state between the two sides. I do hope to include some of the backstory regarding the Rebel and United Earth conflict in some of the coming chapters (well, coming in terms of writing...). I feel that it will help to worldbuild (history build?) with regards to the United Earth and her colonies. So hopefully that turns out just as well as I hope it will. At any rate, I'm interested in seeing what happens when they finally get to Alpha Centauri! There are a few more chapters to go before that happens and I hope they don't get too boring and turn you away. And when they do get to Alpha Centauri, I hope it doesn't disappoint with the build up. Thanks for your review!

Part Two is up!

From InBrightestDay on January 27, 2019 I like this one. I expected something kind of sad or emotional, but there's a surprising amount of humor to it, especially the entire Hitler bit, which makes me wonder if the teen with the Word above his head comes from some alternate timeline or if it's just an effect of being outside the stable bubble. (Whichever you consider funnier. She’s saying don’t be a monster. What he’s hearing is don’t be successful.) I also like the way you describe Tinarah's mental illness. It's not that she feels sad, it's that doesn't feel anything, which is its own kind of horror. (It’s mostly from personal experience…. I very nearly didn’t survive highschool. Anxiety and depression fed on one another till it was unbearable.My parents caught me before I contemplated the unthinkable) The one thing I would criticize is that sometimes the way the lines are broken up creates doubt about their implication. As an example, this part here... “Yes? No? I don’t even know any more.” She reluctantly admitted aloud as she sat next to the teenager. ...is easy enough to figure out. The top line, the quote is what she is reluctantly admitting. The problem is that because of that format, this line... “I feel dead inside. My emotions are muted at best. How can you possibly say that? You bear a word of creation above your brow. You are a god… And….I am nothing.” Tinarah angrily shouted. Thrilled at the momentary eclipse her angry had surged. She felt it even now slip away. Drained by the foul ennui that had poisoned her. ...is now harder to understand. Did she angrily shout that she's nothing, or did she say calmly that she's nothing (there's a period there, after all, rather than an exclamation point) and then just yell wordlessly? I can't really tell because of the way the story's lines are broken up. That criticism aside, I did still enjoy the story, both the banter between the two characters and the implications of a much wider story outside of this one. Thank you I’ll fix it for clarity.

I added a line about the aphrodisiac at the top of chapter. I also added a couple of more story codes. I personally think rape for the blackmailing situation is a stretching things...on the other hand I do for a later chapter on another story archive have the story tag “Non consensual sex” and rape might be closet alternative among the AFF story codes so no harm in having that story code. The other codes I added was 3Plus and Bi that might be minor aspects of the story considering all the kink in there, but somebody might have bad experience about such so why not add those story codes also.