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I think there's one or two things I can contribute with, that haven't been touched yet. For you girls, I think that the best way to imagine how an erection feels like, clothes or not, is to think of your clitoris. Some of you may not know this, but a clitoris is basically an internal penis. The actual clit would be the equivalent of the male glans (the 'head' of the penis) and it's just the tip of the larger body that extends behind your vaginal wall. If you want to know what an erection feels like, then get aroused and pay close attention to how your clit behaves. You'll notice that at first it's just small, but that as your arousal increases, it begins to swell with blood and become very responsive to pleasure. That's pretty much what we feel, too (and really, it's the exact same erectile tissue, the sensations are practically the same), including the build-up to an orgasm. You can also draw a parallel between a clitoris and an uncut cock. A clit has a 'hood' covering it, called prepuce, which is pretty much the female equivalent of a guy's foreskin (so if you want to know how foreskin feels like, well... you have a way to find out). It protects the clit from abrasion and chafing. This varies from guy to guy and woman to woman, but generally, a woman who's not aroused or only slightly so might actually feel discomfort or pain if (for example) a guy rolls back the prepuce and tongues her clit directly. That happens to uncut guys who aren't fully hard, too. As the levels of arousal increase, the erectile tissue is capable of enduring more direct contact, to the point where it's actually very pleasurable for both to apply direct stimulation. And finally, a penis is not (usually) something that can be turned on and off like a lamp. Going from limp to throbbing hard and back again isn't something that happens in a matter of seconds (save specific exceptions, like exceedingly powerful stimuli). There are stages of hardness, but the time that takes the guy to go from one to another varies depending on the guy in question and what's triggering the arousal. Also, not all guys have the same amount of stages. Some have just four, some have more, some may even have only three or two. The first stage is limpness, which is the cock that hasn't even begun to experience arousal. This is the default state (when an erection is the default state, it's called priapism and it's a very hilarious illness). Then there's the 'stirring' stage, where the male first sees something vaguely arousing. He might catch a glimpse of cleavage or start fantasizing. The cock is not hard here, but it sends 'warning signs' to the guy, telling him that if he keeps going down that road, things are going to get stiff. If the guy is clothed, nothing is visible. If the guy is naked, his cock might twitch on its own or even roll lazily a little, across his leg/navel/hip. Might grow an inch or so if the guy's a grower (that is, if his cock changes size between limp and hard. Some guys have the same size regardless of arousal, they're usually called 'showers'). Then you have the 'half-hard' stage, in which the arousal continues its course and blood begins to flow into the penis. Here is when the guy starts to get slightly stiff and his dick starts to grow. If the stimulus isn't strong enough, the growth might stop here. If a guy catches sight of a nice ass, for example, maybe it won't get him fully hard (depends on his personal tastes), but it might be enough to get his blood flowing. Usually the cock remains like this for a few moments even after the arousing stimulus has passed, it doesn't immediately go back to limp (assuming he doesn't see something horrifying that completely kills his mood, of course). It's like his cock is saying "hey, are you SURE you don't want to keep thinking about that ass? I already have all this blood here, it would be a shame to send it back to the body..." Some guys have different stages of hardness, and whether all or some of them should be called "fully" hard is a matter of debate. What they all have in common is that a guy can orgasm in this state. If a guy is jerking off, for example, to relieve stress or because he's used to it or because his body demands release, he might not become 100% hard. He might only reach 90% of his potential, but it's still enough to climax. It's like a chore, the guy's not really into it. He gets hard enough to do his job, comes, and then he goes back to limp very fast (in a minute or less). Now, if the guy is actually interested and he's very aroused, he might reach his peak and become as hard as he can get. The main difference between these is basically the intensity of the orgasm and the volume of cum. In the first case, the guy may have a quick orgasm and shoot a small load, maybe a couple of shots. In the latter, the guy may have a longer, 'better' orgasm, and his ejaculation might be a little or a lot more copious. Oh, and in the latter case, the cock usually stays hard for a long time after climaxing (from a couple of minutes to remaining hard enough to go at it again once the refractory period is finished). Of course, some guys have more than these stages. Maybe a guy gets 80% hard when he's jerking off every day, but he can get 90% hard when he's getting laid, and 100% hard when his girlfriend/boyfriend has him tied down and spanks him with gusto; or he engages in his favorite fetish. It varies. And as a closing advice: watch porn. No, seriously. The best way to familiarize yourselves with a penis is by looking at it so often and from such different angles that you can practically draw it with your eyes closed. Look at the different shapes they come in, how they change color depending on how hard they are, how most guys will start dribbling precome if they're REALLY aroused and they're not getting any. It doesn't need to be video, of course. Pictures/manga/etc work just fine, too. The key is to get as familiar with it as you can. I think that's all, hope this helps iron out some leftover details on the matter.

Shadowknight, I just wanted to say that I really loved this lastinterlude: I thought that it was done really interestingly, what with the wholedifferent perspective on familiar events thing. One thing that kind of broke itup for me was the Call to Arms lyrics interspersed. I thought it was a reallyneat idea, but that it would work better, maybe, if the interjections were lessfrequent, and maybe if what the words actually meant lined up more with thestory. So that you have a better idea of what the song actuallymeans (if you’ve done your research, skip this and this suggestion), I herepresent an approximate translation, courtesy of about 3 different onlinetranslators I worked through. Gloria! Honorifice! Praelium Facio! Animus! Gradior quo prodo! In excelsis precedo! Adversa Incurro! Bellator Decerte! INVADORIA! Desideratus Fatum Desideratus Bellum. Glory! Honor! Join the battle! Courage! Act with [pride]!Exceed all elevations! Contest of warriors! Enemies are attacking! INVADE!Welcome to Fate. Welcome to War. A less literal, but more prosaic translation might run morelike… Glory! Honor! Join the Battle! Have the Courage to live with pride.Exceed all limits in this contest of warriors: the enemies are attacking!INVADE! Welcome to Fate; Welcome to the War. My suggestions for the lyrics are thus: Put Gloria quoProdo! Where “Gloria Quo!” is now. Where Prodo is now, don’t put anything. Do the same with In Excelsis andPrecedo, and then again with Bellator and Decerte. Put “Adversa Incurro” whereDecerte is now, and then Invadoria where Adversa is. Put Desideratus Fatumwhere Invadoria is now, and leave Desideratus Bellum where it is. I feel like the words in those placeswould much better reflect what is going on in the story. Now that that’s done with, I have a few more questions,because I’m confused. This far,you have been sticking very closely to WoW as it appears to us in the game(adding in all your wonderful storylines of course), but here Therenil isintroduced as a High Elf. I’m presumingthat that’s a precursor to an unquenched, if not unrequited love between the–enil’s, as it were, with Aera having that as a means of relating to Ther. It was only slightly confusing to me,and I got over it, I was just wondering if you intend to cleave as closely tothe experienceable (that is not a word, but English lacks one I know of forit), aspects of the game (gay sex patch 4.04 Pl0x). Next thing that I was curious about, is that I had beenreading the whole story so far with the impression that the four (now five,soon to be six) companions had perished in the attack on the Verdant Glade. Iunderstand now that that may not be the case, and I know that you purposelyleft the description of the post-attack Glade open to interpretation so as notto reveal if the characters were alive or not, but I feel that having thisInterlude now removes that “Take this as you will” aspect of the journalentries. Of course, if you’vealready planned a long series of chapters in which all six of them survive,YAY! I hate it when main characters die. Not really, but it makes me sad. Alternatively, is this an alternatereality, as it were, an expostulation on the hypothetical case of them beingpresent at the Wrathgate, which they may or may not ever have been? Now I’mconfusing myself. I’ll stop, because this paragraph needs to end. Is Ceristrasz Aeranil’s lover? I thought he had claimedVaren. Guess I’ll find out. Anyways, sorry for the weird, ranting-ish nature of this. Imainly wrote it to distract myself from studying for my physics test, which Iam going to fail anyways. Oh well. Ereidivh

Wow! I've been away, and unable to read the story, but I just finished catching up on my reading (last time I left off around Aeranil's first entry). It was, if I may say, fantastic! I'm absolutely captivated by this new, dramatic juncture in the narrative, and can't wait for the next chapter! The writing quality is, I think, superb. I admire your broad vocabulary, but feel like in some places you're using it in a way that distracts from the story, rather than giving it more realism. For example, in that last chapter; would Daeron really write like that? "He had to be careful when turning around, lest he fall to the ground." I feel like it's just bogging down the story. I love the new Dragon story-line that's emerging. Have I been missing the hints to it along the way, or is just entirely new? Whichever, I think that it adds a definitely needed lightness to the last few chapters, and also gave the chance for the first sex scenes not involving Aeranil! Yay! I'll admit that, after having read only Varen's view of it, I thought that Daeron might have been visiting him in his sleep, and then had a horrified moment when I thought it might have been Aeranil. Poor Varen though, everything seems to happen to him. I'm sorry that this is turning into a bit of an undirected rant; I'll wrap it up. Can't wait for the next chapter, excited to see how Daeron and Varen work things out, if they'll find a Shaman, if the Aeranil situation will improve, how many more of Elune's body parts Daeron can exclaim with, etc. etc. Props, Ereidivh

just 'cause it's cliche hardly means it's bad. cliches are popular for a reason. personally I heart subtle twists to them far, far more than people just being like mwah, night elf druid, so cliche, my druid's a fucking dwarf or something equally retarded. hah! it's hardly anything bad to rewrite. I often go back and just rewrite entire chapters after I've posted them. most of the time I consider the first post to be nothing more than a first draft, and sometimes it's only after reading it on the AFF page that I actually realize where it could use work. a connection between Daeron and moonlight could be made almost more obvious if you just change the mechanic. all druids cast moonfire-crap spells right? it's hardly anything different for him to use them. if you have his fur glitter when he hits a patch of moonlight, or he can (more or less) teleport/bounce around from patch to patch or something different, etc, then the connection is a LOT more clear, you know? because it's different enough to take note of. obviously nothing game-breaking, but it should be easy enough to combine his kitty form with some good mooney abilities/tricks or something. hah, I got that Varen is unaware of the shadow-side of being a priest. I meant more that he doesn't have conscious access to shadow-CC so one could hardly expect him to fear the mobs off him. none of that incompetence came through though, if that's what you were trying to get at there. Aero seems super capable, but for the most part it's just kind of random, because even he is just flat-tackled by the felpuppy, when something like being suddenly spell-locked and then tackled, or getting his shield eaten by one while the other attacks is more appropriate, you know? whereas Varen and Daeron just kind attack shit and get attacked randomly, and there's no real clear skill difference. haha, I'm probably just expounding on something you already know though, so I'll shut up. oh and the scene itself is passing tolerable, I mean, not awful or unreadable. my comments were just things to think about if you want to make it better, that's all.

I should probably add some more to my review! so yeah. that interlude eh? how 'bout that? waaaaas it a GHOSTWOLF?? haha, what throughs it off is the hands and feet comment. and the shield. at first I thought it was going to be a worgen even! but then I remembered that worgen can't be shaman so I was all like hmm. I've been wondering what the new shaman would be too. I figured orc, as that's the most typical archetype and really kinda what's missing from this story so far, but a troll wouldn't be out of place, and hey you could pull sometihng outta thin air and do a goblin or a dwarf on me so I really have no clue! oh, and a tauren I suppose, but you already have a tauren so it'd be all redundant and stuff. anywho. my comments on the deterioration were just suggestions to make a lttle of what you're getting at more clear, perhaps, since you're interested in that and wanted feedback. I personally never assume the writer is trying to do anything at all so I never really look for that unless it's with clear examples in the writing itself. those were just some examples that would catch me, personally, so make of that what you will! in terms of the action, it felt... hmm, kind of all over the place. what I think a lot of writers fail to do (particularly ones writing spellcasters) is forget that melee ALWAYS trumps mages in close combat. I can't tell you how often I've read some otherwise alright book just fall apart when it comes to a battle, where- for some reason- the footmen stand around with their swords drawn, waiting for a spellcaster to chant a 20-30 second spell instead of just throwing their sword at the dude and interrupting/slowing it altogether. specifically, they fail to consider that ALL members of hte battle have minds focused on self-preservation. in your case specifically, you have three casters versus a bunch of casters and a handful of melee. caster-versus-caster is the easiest to write, honestly, becuase you can just do whatever the fuck you want, but in caster versus melee, the charging melee must be kept away from the body in some way, shape, or form. this means, however, that the caster cannot cast when they're kiting. so in your case, the fight kind of stutters, especially with Daeren. what he does during the battle is constantly dodge, right? at the same time he casts? this seems counter to his primary preference (that being his kitty form) for one, and for two his kitty would be much better for melee in the first place. it's the same with Varen- you write him as someone would play in the literal games, that is, aggroing a bunch of mobs and then just standing there while he's hit with a mace over and over. heh, there's kind of a break in reality, you know? a much more appropriate way might be to emphasize either Daeron or Varen handling holding back the melee from one or the other (or both, of course). Daeren does have entangling roots and kitty stuns, and it seems like Varen has zero shadow spells, but at least would have desperate prayer/shields/renews, etc, so he could be the melee tank while Daeren moonfires all the casters or something. anyways, my point is that even if you want to emphasize them not being able to work as a team or something, they still need to act like the mobs charging them are equally intelligent, capable creatures. a priest constantly healing himself when you stab him in the stomach is a nuiscance, but once you smack him in the head with a mace that stops, ya know? or, going back to the not working as a team, they have to be able to work to protect themselves (if that means just running away, LoSing the casters, etc) then so be it. it just gets wonky when a writer says something like "6 men ran up with swords and stabbed at the mage who dodged all of them and then tossed an ice bolt that totally killed them all" when really, it's pretty hard to dodge six swords coming from at LEAST a half-circle direction. so yeah. just commenting on that. if you want to hear it. if not, sera sera

argh, what the shit?? half my review got cut off, AGAIN. anyways, after saying that I love Felwood, I went on to say that I like Daeron the most, in part because he's angry and seems proactive and strong, but also because he seems like he's the most active and the one who's trying the hardest to work towards a true goal, which is the meat and potatoes of a hearty story stew! so right now he has some unfair advantages over the others, but still (plus I like night elves, if you didn't know ). Bron I think I could and still do really, really like (almost the most) but he just hasn't had enough show-time. Aero's definitely the most entertaining though, lawlz, his incessent quips and gangsta attitude are bomb. it's not really the sex that does it for in his chapters (though this latest one with Bron really did make me sit up in my chair and take interest!) but more how indomitable his will is. I like strong characters that are self-assured and do not break at the drop of a hat (unlike most of what you see, you know?). or something to that effect. I'm not sure, I don't really remember. anyways, I ended it by commenting that of the three, I am not at all attached to Vaerun, and that could be because of my natural aversion towards draenei, (so take what I say with a grain of salt), but also there's so little about *him* that it's hard to know where he fits in and what he feels and stuff. I mean, the three characters I think of when I think of this story are D-man, Bron, and Aero, and then I kind of am like "oooh yeah. and Vaerun." or something to THAT effect. I don't really remember that part either. you should toss in some "pimp" and "baller" remarks around Aero's name, oh! I also remember commenting that I love his quips and the scathing, over the top way he looks down on everybody. but mostly, it was those lines about Vaerun. just to let you know how he's come across- to me- so far.

hee, neat! I didn't know anyone else ever checked the forums. anyways, I wanted to add to my latest review, but didn't feel it was worth taking up another one. I feel I should clarify how I feel about Vaerun- obviously he hasn't had much air time yet, but, also, not nearly so much of his personality, or even who and what he is shows through in his writing, unlike the other three. I mean, he's like a priest I guess, but what does that mean for a race that worships floating windchimes? what has some of his other history been? and then, this probably really is just me, but I always picture draenei as that dumb hypermasculine, super-PUMPED body type (lawlz, and when they run they look like a fat man trying to get to the bathroom XD). is he built like that? and exactly what type of "innocence" does he have? is it the Sunchaser boy's boyish charm, or is it a much more altogether "wholesomeness"? I dunno, I just can't really get a feel for him. if he's devout or not, his power level, etc. as yet, he really kind of pales in comparison to the other three (not that that's a bad thing, mind. I'm just saying, is all). yeah, just so you know. for future reference, in case you were curious oh, and yes, I realized I totally forgot to mention that the Alliance accepting BIG BLUE DEMONS into their ranks should be a MAJOR REASON the blood elves left in the first place! haha, LOVE that you're playing Aero with what he'd actually assume! such mad props. mad, mad props.