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Reviews That Make You Squee


SkyaraSnow

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Yesterday, I got a review on one of my stories that made me melt on the inside.

SavaialNot bad at all! Some tender, some funny, some sexy, some innocent. You tied stuff in really well. I don't know the genre but your writing is good enough that I don't have to know it. Nice job!

Now, to be very honest, I have never recieved a review like that. Ever. It made me absolutely giddy on the inside, because I've always thought I wasn't very good at writing. Especially considering the story was PWP, and I'd never tried to write PWP before.

I did tell a friend who is on aff as well about it, and has read the story, and she said that I had done a wonderful job on it as well, which made me do a happy dance.

Now, I want to ask, have you ever gotten a review that's made you stop and go "Wow...am I really better than I thought?"

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I've had a few, most of them from another site though. In particular, there was this one fic that I actually thought about not posting. I was going to post it here regardless, but the other site has more strict rules about what can and can't be posted. My story was borderline, but the community seemed to like it anyway.

"Well, that was exactly the way I like it. =) Except for the pairing... It's not one of the usual pairings, but on the other hand it would be quite boring if writers kept telling the same stories with the same pairings over and over again, so I'm sure I can get used to it. =) But please, don't keep us waiting for the next chapter as long as you did before with certain other stories (I will wait right here for the next updates, even if it means waiting forever...). I can't wait to see what happens next... Really, I can't."

I was pretty happy that it was well received.

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on AFF, I have less reviews than on Gundam Wing universe, but I have less negative reviews on AFF.

Gundam Wing Hentai (Gundam Wing, on AFF):

Diane Rainwater

I can't believe I didn't review this earlier. I can't believe there's only one other review. Shame on you lazy readers! I got so excited when I saw that you updated. I love these little tidbits of smut. They're so much fun to read. I liked the slaves ones, heart breaking as they were. I vote for some Duo in dress action. I loved the part in the detective series where Duo finds out about the transmitter. That was a riot. I also liked the brothers "incest one." That was also incredibly funny. I love your humor. Can't wait for the next update.

Definition of Love (Gundam Wing, on Gundam wing universe)

YAY!!!You updated!!! I have been waiting for an update on this story. I'm glad you never lost faith with all those nasty reviews you get. Some people just don't know what a good story is. There are still plenty of people that are so prejudiced that they can't tell Temprary Trend from their asses. I must commend you for your determination in not only wanting to complete this story but for writing it in the first place. Don't follow the Hype. Don't follow the norms. Be drastic and write things that no one would ever write. It is good to see an author with such a diverse Repertoire of stories. It is also good to see that someone is strong enough to talk about taboos and things that most of the "normal society" would never do. It is Refreshing to see an author not fall to the pressures of Society's norms. So When's he next update? How will Duo take Heero Loving him and Lusting him? Will there be explicit Sexual scenes between Heero and Duo? I mean It's Heero and Duo who wouldn't want to see them do some Hip dancing between the sheets? LOL

lol!!1 I'm perv yeah. Though I do not i guess condone Incest would be the word there are some cultures that will marry a younger sibling to an older one. Society as a whole need to realize that they need to quit being so prejudiced and get there heads out of their asses. Love is Love no matter if it be betwwen Two men, Two Women, or a man and a woman. Love is Beautiful in ALL forms. I hope you update soon.

Sakura Maxwell-Minamino

just for my gundam Wing fiction, I've got 42 reviews on AFF and on gundam wing universe I have 107. As an ex-psych major, I want to research why that is... Of course, I'm glad to just get one review, so every time i see that I have a review, I squee no matter what it says, and if it says they like it, I squee a little more and if the person put together an actual good review, the noise I make probably can't be defined in words. I mean, has anyone wrote a fic that they thought very few people would like, but it is now one of the highest rated/reviewed and fics that you really like but no one reviews?

Solstice (original and only posted on aff)

tenpenny

Wow.. am I really the ONLY one reading this story? It's positively DIVINE! You have an amazing talent. Absolutely freaking amazing.

You should pursue this story to the fullest.

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Zimarah-I don't get many on here either, but I'm okay with that, for the most part. I get more on fanfiction.net, which is odd, because sometimes over there, people don't know what they're talking about. I did get an e-mail from a girl I bumped into about a year back on the site though, who read the other story that I have on AFF. It'd been a while since she'd wandered into the Yu Yu Hakusho section, but she said she absolutely loved it....Now I have to get Chapter 2 up over there.

shinigamiinochi- I've noticed that people tend to be a little more supportive here then on other sites. When you get reviews, they tend to be more supportive instead of full out bashing. I did giggle at the one that made the reference to doing some Hip dancing between the sheets. That was just hilarious. I don't read much guy/guy, but that made me want to go out and write some!!!!

cu-kid9-That would be a big honor for me as well. I haven't managed that yet, but I hope I might someday!!!

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Guest Tuftiperkys

I got this one like five seconds ago for a story I wrote like five seconds ago:

SP777: (Astral)

The more I read your stories, the more I see you as an author worth mentioning among other amazing authors I've encountered.

You truly have an abiltity to take two characters and paint different scenarios with each story you do and, honestly, you have to have a vast imagination to do so...and you do it with a lovely sense of style, thus far.

Don't ever lose that creativity.

...and with all that said, I truly loved the story, you painted a wonderful picture with visual & emotion. :-)

This one's also from SP777: (Invisible)

For what it's worth, I'm a 'closet-romantic' and I hate it when people knock on my door & make me come out.

This was just TOO freakin' sweet, it gave me shivers & a goofy smile, dammit!

In some ways, it looks like you should continue this, but on the other hand, I think you ended it just right.

Other ones that made my day:

Ran Mouri: (Chaos Theory)

Interesting. I like slow developing Plot lines and I think this one will be great. Actually this is the first time I review one of your stories, but I have to tell you I'm a huge fan of yours and I eagerly wait each and everyone of your updates. Keep up the great work

Rakel: (Undeserved)

I read chapter six this morning and I haven't been able to get it out of my head all day. It's not pretty or polished, but it's got me by the throat and I need to know what's next. Not why; I really couldn't give a damn about Harry or Oliver, although I have mulled over possible ideas for their motivations. I need to know about Draco. I understand that you aren't exactly satisfied with this chapter, but I have to disagree with you. I haven't been this worked up over a chapter in a story in a long time, and isn't that the point to writing? To push buttons, make people think and feel? Please put updating this story to the top of your 'to do' list and I promise a coherent review next time!

darkshadowarchfiend: (Draco...Weasley!? [the title's terrible, I know, but the story's not half bad])

YOU... YOU...... YOU........ TEASE!!!!!!!!

Sneakyfox: (Draco...Weasley!?)

HOLY FUCK!! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I waited this long to read this freaking thing. (I only just noticed tonight it was one of yours.) But I mean HOLY FUCK!! I was just reading this thing in one setting and I just got up to chapter 11 (still got two more to go) and finished it totally freaking out. I mean holy freaking crap.. that was single handedly the craziest, hottest, funniest and most erotic god damn thing I have ever read on this entire site!! Do you realize I'm going to have to freaking recommend this story just based off that chapter alone?!? Oh my god!!!!!

Jeeze. I still have two more freaking chapters to go before finishing this and being up to date. This story better not freaking end like your last one with one of them dead. ç_ç

Ok. I have to finish the rest of this story now. So expect another review. Like real soon. Son of a bitch. I can't believe you pulled that chapter out of your ass. I don't know how you could possibly top it. I have never ever ever felt the urge to review mid story before. I hope you're freaking pleased with yourself!! (Pfft... bah! I'm sure after reading THIS you've got a big freaking shit eating grin on your face!! heh.)

Ok.. back to reading now...

Lilith: (Disconnect)

You have me hanging on every syllable! This is extremely interesting! Please update more soon!

Lacegag: (Draco: Slytherin Sex God, Chaos Theory, I Want You Here, respectively)

This is on a roll! I love what you've done with this! I'm so excited for an update! I know, I'm impatient...What can I say? I'm a slut for your fabulous fanfictions!

(Cont'd) That was intense. There are no other words that can be spoken to fully explain how I feel about this chapter. Please continue!

(Cont'd) My eyes are watering as I type this. That was quite unexpected and so sad! I hate when fics end like that but I love your writing style so much I just had to read it. I'm glad I did,though I'm still a little depressed...

DiscoLemonade: (Fourth Year)

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! i'm so sad!! this was one of my favorite stories on AFF right now!!!! i can't believe you killed draco! i'm literally crying! and poor harry..

Ren: (Fourth Year)

Oh my goodness. I'm not gonna lie. The last chapter almost made me cry.

You're such a damn talented writer.

Riley: (Seclusion, I Want You Here)

thats it. im going to throw a tree at you if you dont continue. :]

(Cont'd) i hate when you write these stories. they are very well written, but when i read them im bawling my eyes out at the end, and there is clenching pain in my chest. its weird to think that a fiction can really have this great an impact.

Hi-chan: (Seclusion)

IIIIIIII love it^^ Just read all of it...and it's kida late...oh damn XDD I need to go to school in 5 hours...but well who cares^^ A good story is worth it. So, I really like your way of explaining things^^ It's really interesting and I hope the next chapter will be sooon^^

*hug* You're a genius^^

SilverKitten: (Seclusion)

Oh my god! I just read the first 6 chapters in bulk, and OH MY GOD!! I need more of this as soon as possible! I'm so worried about Draco, (My liking of him has always been more of an obsession.) and on top of that, you're a wonderful writer! Also, I love it when people make them friends first, instead of them just jumping into a relationship. Great work, and please update soon!

romanticfae: (Aberration)

cute i really liked that third chappie i loved how angsty yet strangely funny it was i really enjoyed it i hope u keep writing this :D

Fallain: (Aberration)

OMFG you updated! yay i loves you! (but i'll love you even more if you update again...hell...i might even give you a muffin) anyways great story! i've never read anything like it, it's so original!

ravenheiress: (Platitudes)

your story is the first i review on this site and not to mention the reason i even registered here just to do so ;] i just wanted to say that you have an incredible talent to describe very deep feelings with very little words. i almost cried when i was reading that story, you know. it was genuine and simply beautiful. i rarely get so much caught up in a simple story. thank you so much for that, and keep up the good work.

take care, ravenheiress

Teh Kita: (A Golden Strand)

I've read this one through a few times now, and I cry everytime. The need so strong in Harry is really just too much, and it's beautiful...(You did a great job conveying the emotion, and I like the style)

Jan: (I Want You Here)

You know I don't know what to tell you. I love your stories, but I have to say, that all your one shots are sad or heartbreaking. I don't think I'll be able to handle another one of your one shots. Not if their this heartbreakingly painful. But I will say keep up your great writings. :D

Alyx Anderson: (I Want You Here)

well...i think you just broke my heart, i'm going to go kill myself now.

Roozette: (I Want You Here, Dependence)

Well... that was beautifully depressing. I kind of figured this was the premise of the story, but kept reading on the off chance Draco and Harry were merely having relationship issues. Ah, the folly of misguided hope.

Once I read it straight through, I went back and reread. The scene where Harry wakes up and wants to reach for his lover was heartbreakingly well written. And harry going back to work where people look at him like he's a cancer patient. Anyone who has dealt with loss can appreciate the surrealistic honesty of that phrase. Throwing in Harry's interaction with Ron and Hermione was a nice touch.

Good job. Is it ackward to say that? You should follow this up with a second chapter. One that deals with Harry either coming to terms with this situation or giving in to the melancholy.

(Cont'd) I'm still ok with the idea of Ron dying. Just so you know. I have faith you can write a creative and vindictive death scene for him. I promise to shed a tear, have a moment of silence, and plant a tree in remembrance. Really.

~ This message was approved by the Anti Draco/Ron coalition

prettypinkpony: (I Want You Here)

Oh my goodness. I hardly ever cry but reading that broke my heart. I think that shows what an amazing writer you are, that you can make someone cry without them even realising it. I would say write more but what more could there be to such a story. I love it sooo much. AMAZING

Jahiya Kingie: (Dependence)

OMFG I love this story.... I can't wait till you update.... i'm going crazy here *pulls out hair* SEEEEEEEEEE i told you.... update...update....UPDATE!!!!

sunset20: (Dependence)

*points at screen with eyes wide open* *starts giggling* Sorry, it doesn't happen often that I see Hungary mentioned in a story and it seems to have a strange effect on me. (Yep, I'm Hungarian, that's why :P) *giggles* Lucius got fucked by Voldy in Debrecen. *bursts out laughing* Sorry this is just too good to be true. *tries to supress the giggling* Why Hungary and Debrecen? :D

Ella Rose: (Dependence)

I love this story and check almoste dayly for updats just in case!!!! I realy love your idea nd the flow and the emotions!!!!

kmwsweetness: (Dependence)

wow your stories are amazing! I spent last night and this morning reading some of them. I love this story and I read the last chapter with 9 crimes in the background, they go together really well. anyhoo can't wait to read the next update!

Kay^_^

akasha_22: (Dependence)

i love it. i been read stories on here for months but it was this story that made me want to get a account so that i could review. i think that someone should just give harry and draco a true potion or something cause it so sad to know that they both want the same thing.

Kath: (Second Chances)

Chapter 4 just read and reread and reread again! The tension in this scene is excellent. Will he, won't he? Louis doesn't realise just what he is tempting Lestat to do so Lestat is being strong and resisting it. But how much longer can he deny the 'chemistry' (good word) between them? If you're very busy, I understand because the Real World gets in my way, too, but I'll keep checking back for an update.

Lady_Lazarus: (Second Chances)

I'm really taking an interest in this story and can't wait to see what happens. The mortal Louis is believable and so is Lestat when in his eagerness to meet with Louis he carelessly chooses his victims. XD I could totally imagine that! Keep up the good work and don't rush to update if you feel dissatisfied with the chapter.

Yagami Raito: (Second Chances)

I love your story, it's truly amazing and this chapter was so romantically cute, lol! Look forward to more, and I'm actually really curious if Louis turns or not ;) So get to writing before my curiosity kills me! x x x

blueeyeddemon: (Second Chances)

Once again, brillance.

Alba: (Second Chances)

This was a very good chapter, a sensory overload. I loved the way his ears were drumming, his bloodlust driving him crazy. I was reminded of the despair in trainspotting, so you got the drugaddict analogy down very well. The killing of the whore was a bit mindless, but the fact that he didn't even stop to clean up that he didn't even consider or wallow shows he really is losing all control over himself. And as for Louis' vulnerability, I loved it, you put Lestat between the proverbial sword and wall again and the mortal Louis is actually endeaing. Oh, and to explain my pain=good position, it hurt because it was a despair and pain I could relate to and feel inside even though i'm not and have never been in sucha position. But the fact that I could feel along with it so intensely meant that it has to have been very well written. So you see, it was a compliment on your writing skills, one that holds for this chapter too!So please PLEASE update soon!

skydancer: (Chaos Theory)

......mind the hot wet puddle of happy reader over here.....wow...I know you said it wasn't going to be a James/Lucius but....wow.......you could spin that off into a monitor melting companion story....

They either made me laugh out loud or were extremely touching or both. Hope you don't mind that I shared so many! Edit: I thought I'd add the names of the stories just in case anyone was interested, I'm not going to say no to new readers. Even though it's quite obvious that most of my stories end sadly, woopsie, eh?

Edited by Tuftiperkys
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  • 4 weeks later...

(For my story Saying Goodbye)

wonderful retelling of a horrific events. It was a tear jerker and awakened some memories of my own but i understand your reason for writing it and will commend you it was a great adaptation of the characters. Moving and overall a great work. I enjoyed it even though it brought me to tears at the beginning remember the event myself.

I am very proud of that review because it showed that I managed to pull at the emotions that I wanted to in that particular fic. Actually I am proud of all of my reviews for that fic. I would rather have people leaving me a review like that then: 'Love it, write more!' If that is all I get out of a fic then I know my story has gone awry somewhere. *shrugs*

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I won't post half a million reviews here - because in their own way every single one makes me happy. I save each of them in a special folder in my email, so that if the site goes down or a story is revomed by accident - then I don't lose them. So far it has 631 messages in it :)

Here's one I like though:

This story is simply adorable. I have been following it for some time now and have been reviewing under another name, but I can't help but praise you for each chapter. I love it! The flow, the details, the characters, all of it is simply marvelous and makes me wonder if you have authored a book yet.

Raito is refreshing in this story and it makes for a good feeling all around. He is able to communicate that he doesn't have a challenge without being a psychotic killer of the human race as we know it. L is just as huggable as in the manga and anime and doesn't seem to have changed very much. I do wish that the chapters were a big longer, so as to enjoy a bit more before your next weekly update, but the choice is yours to make. ^_^. I look forward to your next chapter. =)

And this one too.

Well... I hope your happy. I got off my lazy Shikamaru-like ass and made an account so I could review. (That’s how much I love you!)

But anyway, enough criticism, I'd just like to say... If you don't update, you will surely be an online murder, I will sue you! Seriously, I've been sooooooooo bored lately, I haven't been able to find any good SasuNaru that where at least a /little/ interesting, and this just takes the cake! It's reaaaaaaaaly interesting (In a… Perverted fan-girl kinda way) I love it to widdle bits! Can't wait for more, I think I've added this to like, every single subscribe or favourite thingy there is... Oh god I think I’m getting teary… D;

And I love every single review on this list! All 250 and over XD

http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...mp;no=600043240

Even if it's a case of 'I like this story - please update' which, while a bit drab and unmotivational, is still a review of some sort. Someone has taken the time to type it and has thought of your story the entire time. I appreciate the little one line reviews just as much as the chapter-length ones...okay that's not true - the massive 700-word reviews send me into fits of insane-like grinning for hours and hours, but still - it's very nice regardless :D

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Guest KristinaDalton

Unless I luck out and have a reader contact me concerning one of my books they bought, I am pretty isolated from my audience. I have six books published and another about to launch, and I came here to try to have more direct contact. I find most readers don't even belong, just lurk. I was giving away what earns me income on the retail sites, yet only a handful reviewed. Hits soared, further confounding me.

I had one reader defend herself by saying she had never needed to join, and that she did rate. WTF? You don't want to support the writers providing your pleasure material? A number tells me what you liked?

It's bad enough a professional writer giving up income in exchange for feedback like me receives so few reviews. But, most writers here ONLY get paid in reviews. If you have the time to read, I believe you should take the time to review.

I pulled three novels after my plan did not work. Currently, I am posting my WIP under romance. However, if only the same three or four continue to give feedback, I will pull it and go to direct email updates for readers with the courtesy to give me feedback.

Per reviews making me squee, they all do. I am thrilled when someone reviews. I have two readers who never fail to leave me a comment, and I love them for it.

KD

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This is a review I received yesterday from someone who had faithfully reviewed two of my other stories:

After reading 'Revelations' and its sequel, it didn't take much prodding for me to get stuck into your newest story - and already, I'm hooked and loving every moment of it! With only two chapters, you've drawn me in, and I eager to read how the rest of Davi's tale unfolds... and of what exactly happened at Brier Wood that she's trying to forget.

As always, your writing is high-quality and shows due care and thought: it's well-paced and engaging, and your characters are once again appealing and interesting. Definitely looking forward to future updates!

It kind of made me rethink my response to this thread. I think being able to draw the same people back to your story, or building a fan base (even if it's only two or three people) that will honestly read and review your work -no matter how out in left field it gets- is the best. Those reviews make me squee on a regular basis (sometimes out loud :o ). This is one of those reviewers that I wish would give me con-crit (and I'd probably squee out loud over that too...).

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When something like this happens, I "squee".

Published [2007-09-24]
Shadow Blade 2007-10-28

I can't believe you haven't gotten any reviews yet, but given my own luck with them I can understand.

Getting the first review to a story, a month later. Really, after writing it and not getting a single review until a month later, I was a little disheartened.

... I really should get back to working on the next chapter... =/

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  • 2 weeks later...

I squee over all my reviews because I love getting them. The latest one I got was from an author who told me he/she normally doesn't like the kind of fic I write but he/she finds my fics really hot. He/She even plugged my work in one of his/her author's notes so I'm really really happy about that :D

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Guest KristinaDalton
I squee over all my reviews because I love getting them. The latest one I got was from an author who told me he/she normally doesn't like the kind of fic I write but he/she finds my fics really hot. He/She even plugged my work in one of his/her author's notes so I'm really really happy about that :D

That's great! Good for you.

Do I ever have a new situation. A reader who doesn't like a writer's work? No biggy. Bad review? Fact of life. Occupational hazard. But, I have a few that don't like much of anything about my WIP, but keep reading and have made multiple reviews. Who has the time to read what they don't like? After my initial "WTF?", I have laughed about it. So many readers have contacted me privately about it, appalled. I just keep telling them to not worry about it. But, it really upset a lot of people.

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  • 2 months later...

Oh man, I just got a brilliant one for Blue Alert -

That was /fantastic/! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at an adult story before! You mixed the right amount of silliness with the right amount of sex, and got the characterization perfect to a 'T'! It seemed very in-tune to the humor of some of the concepts you presented.

Anyway, great job! I hope you continue writing! I love how you're willing to draw human analogies to the confusing concept of robot sex. Some might call it uncreative--but I think, in your writing, it works out really well because your so open with it (sometimes people get /too/ caught up in theories and technical mumbo-jumbo and the story loses its sexiness--but you retain it well).

Good story; keep up the good work!

This is the kind of review that makes me want to write more. It's like review crack. I WANT MORE AND SO I WILL WRITE MORE

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I have a favorite reviewer here on AFF : swasdiva. She always makes me feel so good about myself when I'm doubting my writing. I mean, like serious literary fingering here.

For Slipping Away

Whoa... Again.

Impressed doesn't quite cover it...

I find it slightly ironic that I've been the only one to review this story on AFF when I don't remember reading it the first time around. Suffice to say, now that I've found it again I'm still completely mesmerized. It's an ambitious plot that you pull off with the talent of a seasoned author. I appreciate how technical it is, how much planning and detail are just below the surface of something very gritty and emotional. I do not lie when I say I would pluck this off the bestseller's list and buy it, because that's where your style belongs. Seriously, your writing is infinity stronger than most published work.

I'm still completely blown away...pun intended.

And more recently for Recentare

Sweet God, I love your stories. They are always so intricate and stunningly imaginative. It's the detail that I salivate over, though. Every development is so well engineered I can imagine it effortlessly. Although I will admit sometimes the pacing is a bit too fast to feel completely invested, but you slow it down when it matters. I understand that you've got a point to make and much of the setup is filler, but don't hold back on fleshing out your twists and relationships. It won't bloat the story but make it richer.

You've brought in some of the most relatable OCs I've ever come across, and your concept for the background story is masterfully done. I mean, my jaw was using my keyboard as an ottoman for the majority of scenes, I was so impressed. It's interesting that Nichika and Inuyasha haven't bonded at the hip considering how alike they are, but I guess that similarity would also just as easily butt heads, wouldn't it? And the Kin revelation...exquisite. I have never been so sympathetic to Sesshoumaru as I am with his character as you've created him. His depth is tragically beautiful. The path you've put Miroku on is a interesting one, not to mention the sensual take on Rin...very unexpected and enjoyed. I really like that you brought Kagome back into the mix; considering how you manipulate the pairings I'll be curious to see who she ends up with.

I love the angst, the double meanings, the word play, the subterfuge, the emotion, the twists, the reveals and the scope. You're quickly becoming one of my favorite writers on this site.

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Here's one I got for my co-written original story, Shut Up And Drive:

Usually I don't review for a first chapter, I'll be honest about that but this is one original concept. Okay, maybe there was Kit buit let's forget about him and go with Riley!!! Seriously, very intriguing and, please, more. Just one, very minor, point of critique: use Johnny's name a bit more to indicate his actions. Even if Riley is a car and thus is limited in what he can do, it confused me a little.

There are four other reviews on the story so far, but this one's my favorite. I received some information that helped me and my so-author improve, and for that I love it. But before I got this review another on touched my heart and had me 'squeeing' for a good week. It still gets to me sometimes.

This one came from my Inuyasha story on fanfiction.net, Childish Illusions:

I really like this story... I do hope to see you update soon. This is well written, and the plot is original. This story also flows well, and I love reading it. It is also great how you make medium length chapters, but you fit enough detail and plot to make it seem as if the chapters are much longer. I wish I could do that-- I always just suffice to a ten page chapter rule, which makes updating take longer. I really... really... love this story. I'll add it to my favorites, and I'll try my best to read any update you have. I may be slow though... so I apologize in advance.

Domo arigatou!

-Nymphetamine

Not only was this an OUTSTANDING, well-written review (on fanfiction.net, that fact alone making it a rare and precious gem indeed), if I remember right she was only 15 or 16 when she gave this wonderful review to me and brightened my whole week. The young'uns usually don't take their time with things like this. It was a thrill when I found out. =)

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  • 5 months later...

I only have three reviews so far, but they're all great to me. Here's my favorite (the fact that the story is incomplete should put it in context):

*bangs table* More! I demand more!

Never thought I'd say something like that about Yuri as it's not my style, but your plot keeps me hooked!

The fact that someone who doesn't normally like f/f would be demanding more just floors me.

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I, like everyone else here get reviews consisting mostly of 'I liked your story, can't wait for the next chapter.' This tells me about as much as a phone book listing only last names.

The ones that make me want to write even more come like this one (and it was from ff.net):

"That was a very, very good story. Firstly, there was the pacing. It moved very slow, but that was crucial, by no means should it have been rushed. It takes its time so that we can visualize every detail that is described so well. Building the entire battlefield in vicious detail, rather than outright introducing the heroine gives the reader a view good idea of what is happening and understanding of the struggle. Sure, we have all played the games and seen it, but you still take the time to put into words what we've only seen. The motivation for the two sides was a great touch, and the bit with the Locust foreshadows the end. Because of this introduction, we aren't sure who were are going to be following, or if it is just going to be a third person commentary on the war, which at first i thought it was.

"In this first part is the only real problem with the story. Its written too poetically. We don't need the overwhelming amount of metaphors and overly lyrical tone to the battlefield. Its cool, describe something so violent and disgusting with such beautiful words, but it gets old quickly. It was really annoying and i was going to leave this story without finishing it, but i am thrilled that i stuck with it, because that little flaw dies out by the second part.

"The second part of the story is introducing the heroine. It was interesting to not start with her, but spend so much time establishing the scene, then revealing her as the main character. Delving so deeply into her past could have come out wrong, a lot of writers get too caught up in the then and forget about the now. Instead, it is given in such vivid detail that it just works. The hopeful tone that she feels in the then is a great contrast to the bleakness of the now. And even as we read her meeting the love of her life, we know that it will all come crashing down around her. Her confusion during Emergence Day, is it just an earthquake? Then the slaughter.

"Lastly there was the final part, back to the now. That an interesting idea, cut off the snake's head and the drones would just walk into a hail of bullets. Despite the Queen's omnipresence, she still needs her minions to carry her words to the farthest reaches. The assassination and ensuing slaughter is done well, with just the right amount of vivid detail and a certain speediness that it never gets dull. The best thing is that there is no happy ending. She doesn't go off and is introduced to the Gears. She doesn't give a slow smile to Marcus, or Marcus gives her a nod of approval. She's a shadow, a hollow shell of what she once was. Delta doesn't even realize she saved them. And that last line is just a cute touch and a great way to go out.

"All and all, this was an excellent story on a page that is really lacking them. It was a pleasure to read."

These just do an ego good.

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  • 2 months later...
This is very true. I get very irritated when I get hundreds of hits and no reviews.

I know! It makes me pout. It's like "Okay well, people reading it...but do they like it? Do they hate it? Are they indifferent? I don't get it!!!!" :D

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