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InvidiaRed

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Everything posted by InvidiaRed

  1. 42943 knowledge is knowing that which you’ve denied.
  2. 42941 For to be even is to not be odd or was it visa versa?
  3. He was blind to the true danger she truly represented, Being as immortal as long as civilization endured he was absolutely banking on there was nothing she could do that would matter, His first temple suffused with his power was as immortal as he was. There was no attempt at resisting, no attempt to miracle. What he hadn’t counted on (if the first time we met Berta was at her worst, This time we get to see her at her apex, her absolute zenith) One of the strongest mages to ever grace that world and capable of blurring the edge of what mortals can achieve. Three different gods, two of which are two entirely different generations long at war Monster Deities and Ever-Sheltering, And the first crossover… She called out and Duncan answered. Polis was such a resolute bastard that warring gods and existence all agreed that everything within that boundary didn’t. For crimes against life itself he was thrown outside that universe. That temple and Polis himself experienced a sudden lack of existence. Not dead, just gone. Cast into a null space. Probably colliding with Amphisbaena
  4. Posting it early to give everyone as much time as possible ❤️
  5. The Longest Night! Where Winter’s grasp its tightest, the frost is the most ravaging, that saps the warmth and life from all so foolish to ventured forth. But for all its death cold, and the howling winds and the nameless things that lurk within the icy grip. For it is winter that allows the earth to lay in fallow slumber to be greeted by the first rays of rising dawn, The end of the old must in turn make way for the new. The promise of dew, and the welcoming excoriating rain of renewal to chip away at what was, so that which is may take those first burgeoning steps. enjoy the eggnog with Krampus in the corner as even the long night must give way to day! Celebrate with both old and new, party with the forgotten and praise the coming day. At dawn, Look to the East! The rules are thus in our heartfelt offerings! Tags at the top of the story Holiday theme Original Fiction Oneshot 45k word limitation! You can find the stories here!
  6. From InBrightestDay on October 29, 2023 Beyond the Monster Isles Well...it's been a while, hasn't it? Figured even if I don't contribute, I should review both of these by Halloween, so I'll start with yours! Warning, this review will contain SPOILERS This one doesn't feel particularly Halloween-themed, but the story itself is pretty cool nonetheless. It kind of reminds me of some of Robert E. Howard's Conan stories, though it's hard to say why beyond a sort of feeling: something about the tone and the harshness of the fantasy world. That actually ties into something I found myself pleasantly surprised by. When Berta's husbands are first mentioned, the way they were talked about felt a little callous, a bit "Well, they should have listened..." It reinforced that feel of the world, of course, and it was clear that Berta misses her first husband at least, but it felt a little unpleasant. fantastical worlds are,monsters are real, quantifiable and objectively true. Taking risks has a far higher chance of dismemberment and or death (massively unacceptable in the modern paradigm actually) In a fantastical world where gods and monsters are real, front and center and real it is callous… from a modern perspective. Death is abundant and when your spouse is one of the few mortals that can actually use magic at all, They took the risk and lost. Its only later, That Polis in his own overconfidence tell her that it wasn’t a risk at all. So needless to say when the old man (Polis?) decides to dunk on them some more and Berta's like "Oh, don't you say SHIT about my husbands!" that was a very nice turn of events. It’s one thing to dunk on the risk losing dead, But altogether another when you proudly admit to the sorceress’s face that you personally strangled her stillborn child and that you think its an achievement. As for the story itself, I feel it's evidence of your continued improvement as an author. A problem that some of your other stories faced was that the shorts would feel like they were part of a much larger story we didn't have, and moreover that they were difficult to understand without the broader context, the feeling of "This story is assuming I've read something else already..." Beyond the Monster Isles feels far more readily accessible and self-contained. It does venture a bit into that territory with some of the stuff on the island (not sure what was up with the piranha visions or the thing that picks up Berta when she dies), but overall the story felt like it generally told me what I needed to know, and what was out of focus didn't need to be in focus. Temporal Slippage actually, Berta is witnessing snippets of herself from the doomed timeline. All in all, nicely done! There's also some really cool visual imagery, especially the bit where the ship gets lifted into the air and then disintegrated. Berta all told is probably the most powerful mortal character I’ve ever written, She doesn’t need a focus, is capable of multiple spells at once, dunked an angel to the ocean’s bottom. And despite all that, her at the apex of mortal capability. (Which by itself puts her in class far beyond HP and Dresden) The most she had done was displace the angel. The angel took it’s task literally but being blinded by both depth and darkness, It overcharged the effect and instead of teleporting the boat with its assumption. It’s effect stripped the boat bare at an atomic level. The patriarch in question was rewarded not with his prize but dust, and tons of seawater.
  7. From InBrightestDay on October 29, 2023 Beyond the Monster Isles Well...it's been a while, hasn't it? Figured even if I don't contribute, I should review both of these by Halloween, so I'll start with yours! It is always a treat, and always a pleasure. Warning, this review will contain SPOILERS This one doesn't feel particularly Halloween-themed, but the story itself is pretty cool nonetheless. It kind of reminds me of some of Robert E. Howard's Conan stories, though it's hard to say why beyond a sort of feeling: something about the tone and the harshness of the fantasy world. That actually ties into something I found myself pleasantly surprised by. When Berta's husbands are first mentioned, the way they were talked about felt a little callous, a bit "Well, they should have listened..." It reinforced that feel of the world, of course, and it was clear that Berta misses her first husband at least, but it felt a little unpleasant. I think what is most fascinating is… that’s who’ve I’ve started reading. So needless to say when the old man (Polis?) decides to dunk on them some more and Berta's like "Oh, don't you say SHIT about my husbands!" that was a very nice turn of events. She was trying to deescalate right up until he had the audacity to speak the name of her child that she told no one. That was the exact heartbeat, he had to go. As for the story itself, I feel it's evidence of your continued improvement as an author. A problem that some of your other stories faced was that the shorts would feel like they were part of a much larger story we didn't have, and moreover that they were difficult to understand without the broader context, the feeling of "This story is assuming I've read something else already..." I always strive to improve, well that and getting an actual map for the book lol. Beyond the Monster Isles feels far more readily accessible and self-contained. It does venture a bit into that territory with some of the stuff on the island (not sure what was up with the piranha visions or the thing that picks up Berta when she dies), but overall the story felt like it generally told me what I needed to know, and what was out of focus didn't need to be in focus. There's also some really cool visual imagery, especially the bit where the ship gets lifted into the air and then disintegrated. All in all, nicely done! Thank you. I’ll go more in detail in my own thread.
  8. From GeorgeGlass on October 30, 2023 "Beyond the Monster Isles" by InvidiaRed Wildly imaginative, as I've come to expect from IR. Some of the punctuation and capitalization is a bit random, which slowed my reading down a little, but the characters are inventive (I particularly liked the dwarven sea captain), and the ending is satisfying. Indeed! Very randy but his honor is beyond question. A privateer versus angel could only go one way.
  9. From GeorgeGlass on October 30, 2023 "Beyond the Monster Isles" by InvidiaRed Wildly imaginative, as I've come to expect from IR. Some of the punctuation and capitalization is a bit random, which slowed my reading down a little, but the characters are inventive (I particularly liked the dwarven sea captain), and the ending is satisfying. Indeed! Very randy but his honor is beyond question.
  10.  

    1. InBrightestDay

      InBrightestDay

      Saw this a while back, and absolutely love it.  It’s proof that you can make feathered dinosaurs menacing, so long as you use the right presentation.

  11. 42897! behold the sacred seven. The prime and indivisible
  12. 42891! Onwards ye black crusade!!
  13. If the creature is sapient no. If there is a clear discrepancy of thought between them yes.
  14. 42879 Ah! the last number before the change!
  15. 42875! Behold another odd! For one cannot exist without the other and implies a number both odd and even.
  16. That was quite the treat! Or was it trick? Might try sex in mine after all.
  17. This is where they’ll be ❤️
  18. 42863! Behold back to even once more! For that is the steps odd to even and back again for all time!
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