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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/29/2017 in all areas

  1. I wish i would have talked to you about this in more depth… I solely blamed myself and ran off site crying, deleting everything in my wake! I’m just playing it off like it’s cool, but it wasn’t lol!!! it’s only cuz you and @Tcr and @sweetmamajama held my hand and rubbed my back and told me it was going to be ok that I’m back trying again!!! We can’t let people affect us this negatively (or at least I shouldn’t, jesus) Anyways, as always, it’s good to know I’m not alone.
    3 points
  2. Hey don't shit on PWP! Its porn! I need my spank material! Oh s not that hard, you just do your research and you’re covered! Well I hope so… I mean you see it all the time, men writing lesbians, female whiting gay guys and in het writing from another persons POV. Thats what writers do, we put ourselves in other ppls shoes.
    2 points
  3. Realised my nipples were rather sensitive today. I have no idea what that means. Just as long as I’m not pregnant!
    2 points
  4. In my case its mostly about fantasy vs reality. For example in real life I am very squeamish about things I put near my mouth and face and butthole but I read and write m/m and find it pretty hot. I also find rimming very hot in fantasy but in reality I wouldn't wanna have my tongue anywhere near an asshole. I have a lot of underage shit going on in my stories too (both written and still in my head) even though I don't find teenagers sexually attractive. I think that maybe that's because I find ‘sexual awakening’ interesting to write about. Also there are stories of mine that kinda demand it because of the marriage customs and the ideas of consent and sexual maturity are different in the story’s universe than in our own. And of course, since a lot of my characters have terrible childhoods, there are the backstories and flashbacks that are usually very... unpleasant to write. Hmm...when I look back I wrote a lot of things that were unpleasant to write… But I think I got a bit off topic, sorry my brain is just not working properly today...idk did I answer the question? I forgot what I was gonna say! Whaa am I so broken?!
    2 points
  5. So... While watching a truly terrible movie and writing my own, I had a thought. Watching the antagonist, a mere caricature and, admittedly, boring in that regards, I started thinking to myself, ‘How?’ Obviously someone had to be paid to... Dare I say write this villain? I’m not sure that’s capable of being said. I’m pretty sure whoever put him in there looked in a dictionary under villain and took all the cliches... Which is not always a bad thing... So, coupled with a bit of a discussion with my beta regarding the same ideas within the last few weeks (has it been longer? Maybe longer... Either way...) I kind of examined my own antagonists (mostly minor in terms of the overall story at this point) and began seeing that most of what CR and I had discussed had already been put into place. Some minor tweaks here and there, a few added things into the character, a couple odd search topics in Google... And a very questionable, yet still lacking detail report regarding said character that is currently saved on my computer... Hopefully, the minor antagonist in Chapter V has taken on a new life that is not a cartoony version of hyenas marching... At least, I’m happy with the way it’s turned out. I’d like to think that I added enough to humanize, dare I say relate to (a scary thought, I know), that character. Those little bits that develop a personality, at least in terms of this one, and create a living breathing antagonist and not a two-dimensional paper cut out as I had seen within the movie... So, then, thoughts abounded... And perhaps could help other people in writing their own antagonists... How does everyone else create their antagonists? Now that I’ve rambled on and on and on long enough to bore people to death... I’d like to hear your ideas, thoughts, writing processes, and maybe there’s someone else who will benefit outright as well...
    1 point
  6. So I’ve been thinking, what are some of the good ways to leave hints in a mystery? I like being subtle, but how subtle is too subtle? What if the audience doesn't seem to notice or even search for clues? Should I let them know that there is a hint and they can look for it if they want to find out “who done it”? Or should I just leave them to figure it out by themselves or just miss everything and only see the things in hindsight? Isn't it the point of leaving clues that a reader can figure shit out by themselves? That’s certainly the fun of it, at least for me. So what do you think? Any advice/suggestions?
    1 point
  7. Or is it just me? A lot of you probably don’t know me or my writing very well, but I’ll be the first to admit that most of my writing contains what I’ll politely refer to as “risque content”. I’m sure that many people who’ve skimmed past my stories disinterestedly have thought to themselves “by God, this person’s a weirdo.” But what may surprise them is that some of the things I write really don't get my jollies off. For instance, I have a story with Minor1 (an 11-year-old), but I’m not excited by pedophilia (I actually despise children, but that’s a whole different thing). Instead, I wrote the story because it was challenging, interesting, and refreshing to write from the perspective of somebody innocent. To write as somebody ignorant of the situation and to work through the complexity of both wanting to please the adult they admired while also feeling guilty about a situation that felt inherently wrong. In two of my stories, rimming comes into play. I’ve never personally tried it from either perspective, but I’ve seen it performed and I can’t say I’m a fan. However, in one story it’s literally the only option for lubricant and the other story is about making (mostly gay) porn. I write the characters as enjoying it, and I write it in a way to hopefully excite those who are reading my stories, but it really doesn’t get me off. These are only some examples, and since I’m trying to create a discussion and not a rant, I’d like to hear from you.
    1 point
  8. Tcr

    Deus Ex Machina

    Recently, I’ve been reading over some of my own work, both stuff I’m editing in hopes of publishing and what I’m writing on here, and have found a few situations that could be considered a Deus Ex Machina. In the ones I’ve been reading around here, I haven’t come across it. That said, I have been reading and watching various things of late where the Deus ex would seem to be making a comeback. Anyone who knows what the Deus ex is, please skip the next paragraph as I clumsily explain what the Deus ex Machina is... (Feel free to throw tomatoes at me for this explanation...) I’m assuming everyone knows what the Deus ex actually is, but, for the sake of everyone understanding (in case someone doesn’t)... In a nutshell, this is the ‘God from the machine’ device where the seemingly unsolvable problem is suddenly and abruptly resolved by the introduction of a sudden, ‘inspired’, or god-like intervention. This is where the hero is surrounded by the enemy, back against a cliff, with no way out, everything looking grim, then, suddenly, the cavalry shows up and chases them off. I, personally, try very hard to avoid using this device for one reason. (Okay, I hear the chairs moving, put them down before you throw them at me... For a moment, please...) On a personal and, in many ways, stylistic approach, I find using the Deus ex to be a lazy piece of storytelling. (Okay, that lemon bouncing off the head hurt.... Hey, so did that lime!) Yes, I do understand, there are some points in time where this has happened in reality (ie: the sinking of the USS Indianapolis and rescue of her crew), but, for the most part, it just doesn’t happen. So, now I’m wondering, does anyone actually use the Deus ex for theirs? Am I simply reading minority ideas and am, therefore, in the minority? Thoughts on the idea of the Deus ex?
    1 point
  9. Hi! I saw this thread on Gay Authors .org in the forums and I found it really interesting so I wanted to bring it to AFF! I'm not sure If I did this properly cause I couldn't wait for the admins to answer me! So sorry if I fucked up! Clovey said to blame her so...blame her! Anyway these are the questions asked in the thread: “When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it? Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong. Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed? Can you go too far? Maybe you should.” Let me know what you think and how you would answer these questions. Link to the original: https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/42868-exposing-yourself-in-text/#comment-696825
    1 point
  10. Aww bubeleh! How dare these fucks make fun of my clovey! Fuck em! Maybe you should try working on that if you feel unsatisfied? Experiment with putting more of yourself into your writing? Have you ever heard of “dangerous writing”? Its great stuff. You can try it as an exercise, it might help you. If you're looking for help that is… There are definitely differences between more objective and subjective lines. Like yours is minors, mine is scat (and other things too), thats subjective. But if you’re harming someone like slandering another person in your story with their real name without their consent or the example you used that yeah that is hurting someone and Id say that's objectively wrong and a line not to be crossed.
    1 point
  11. I like getting credit for encouraging people. Blame counts as credit! As for the questions, I definitely always feel self-conscious about my writing, though not necessarily for the same reasons as the topic on the original post. Personally, I think the last time I actually felt like I was exposing myself, was the first time I ever wrote smut. People made fun of my story on the forum I posted it on (it was god awful, but thanks to their mocking I avoided posting smut for another year after that.) But other than that one time, I can’t say I’ve ever actually felt like I was exposing myself… But I have felt like I’ve been at the reader’s mercy. They sound like one in the same, but for some reason they’re entirely different issues in my head. Like, I’m afraid people won’t like what I wrote or they’ll ridicule it, but I’m never worried about what they’ll think the content says about me as a person? I don’t feel like I’m giving too much. Sometimes I worry I’m not giving enough of myself. Those are usually the times I’ll delete the entirety of a chapter a dozen times and rewrite. That’s part of the reason I don’t post things often. Spend too much time agonizing over every little word, wondering how I can thrust more personality into it, and I never post until I’m sure. Sometimes I don’t even write until I’m sure. Definitely something I personally need to overcome. Not going to touch the changes topic. I think you already addressed it perfectly. Can lines be crossed? Fuck yes. Some lines need to be crossed. Some lines shouldn’t be crossed. My personal lines, content-wise, are with stories with minors. That’s something I won’t likely cross, but don’t fault others for crossing it. And there are lines I don’t think -anyone- should cross. Like using a story as a platform to advocate or support the oppression/abuse or the removal of basic human rights from individuals or whole groups of people. If your story makes a whole group of people in general feel attacked, or unsafe, or fearing for their lives, I’d definitely say that’s crossing a line that should not be crossed.
    1 point
  12. My answers (also in the original): When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it? Sometimes. There is a certain feeling of vulnerability in sharing your art with others. I used to feel really self conscious about my writing when I was younger and I often censored myself because I didn't want ppl to see my sick twisted little mind. But I think I kinda surpassed that, at least somewhat. Being anonymous on the internet helps. I try and remind myself that it’s not really worth dwelling too much on what other people think. Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? Again sometimes. It is quite easy to learn something about a person from their writing if you only look for it. Of course it depends on what type of a story it is and it varies from person to person. But usually I think that it’s worth it. In order to receive you must give. Writing from emotion and being vulnerable can create amassing art. It creates a connection on a deeper level between the reader and a writer. And it gives the story a certain uniqueness. Like when you learn something about lives of famous authors you see their stories in a new light and you can see the personal connections with their art. I felt way more emotional about reading Kafka after I learned about his life and his abusive father. It put a lot of things in context and made his stories even more tragic in a certain sense because you could see the real man behind all the weird and abstract. I believe that art is just another form of communication. Some people use writing as therapy, which is really fascinating to me. It’s kinda like dreaming. Our brain creates scenarios in which we can test our reactions and practice for real life. I think a lot of writers do this too, whether or not they're aware of it. It is also an exercise in empathy. You can write a character that you would find disgusting in real life and relate to them on a very deep level. It makes you question people around you, makes you wonder what their internal monologue looks like and why they say and do certain things. idk where I was going with this...next! People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong. Is that a question? This is really subjective. What is a right and a wrong way to live. Sometimes change isn't always for the better. Sometimes ppl change for the worse and destroy their lives and cause harm to others. Would that be more right than staying the same? Change for changes sake is not really what life is all about. But yeah it’s usually a good thing when ppl grow and mature and all that shit. Though you're not always in the right just because you're older. This really annoys me (from real life), ppl thinking they know better just because they're older than me. I'm all for hearing ppl out and all of that, but when somebody starts lecturing you about something they clearly know nothing about and think you're an idiot just because you're young I wanna choke a bitch! Sorry...rambling again...I do that a lot Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed? Can you go too far? Hmm idk... Well I guess. But as long as you're not hurting anyone I think you're good. Doesn't mean ppl are gonna like it, they might hate it. But that doesn't mean you should pander to them. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't think it’s right to censor ppl. Somebody above already talked about this and I think they said it way better than me so I’ll just leave it at that. But let’s get more personal. I do have lines I don't wanna cross, because I don't want too. But that being said I already crossed a lot of lines... My mind is a fucked up place and sometimes you gotta let em demons loose! A crazy idea pops into my head every now and again (and by that I mean all the time) but I'm not impulsive (or fast enough) to do all of them. So I sift through and way them and pick what I like and what fits. And sometimes my mind comes up with something so fucked up that I just have to do it! Like in one of my stories (that I haven't written yet and even if I did I couldn't post it here) the main character (underage, around 14) gets raped by his father, he's married to his sister who tries to murder one of her children (that is a product of rape by some other guy) and his mother made him disembowel a dog when he was a little kid in some weird ritual. I often wonder wtfs wrong with me too... Like what does this say about me? What would ppl think? Would they think I'm crazy? Would they think I'm a sadistic pedophile? Would they think I have daddy issues? I mean I am not even sure what that says about me! Shit just happens! The story just gets outta hand! Wow these questions could be applied to my answers too... Do you feel self conscious? Yes! Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? Yes! Maybe you should. Maybe...maybe not... I'm not doing scat, damn it!
    1 point
  13. @sweetmamajama yeah crawling within is the one with which I got the most criticism. Much of it was valid criticism, of course. But that is easily my favorite story that I've written. @mastershakeme I'm glad you came back. Whenever you start to doubt your writing talk to me and I'll remind you how fucking awesome you are. It takes mad confidence of proportions I have never witnessed to be a happy writer without a support system of other writers going through similar trials. I have always had that support, and I still have had my fair share of melt downs where I took down stories and debated deleting my account. We got your back hun.
    1 point
  14. darthel0101

    Magusfang's Corner

    To all who have served, Thanks. To all who have supported them while they served, Blessed are you.
    1 point
  15. well I do have a neck beard...
    1 point
  16. I don't think Id be forcing anyone if I just gave a hint to dummies that there are clues they could search for if they want an early answer. But I can force my betas to search for clues cuz they're my betas and my bitches! Its their job to tell me if the clues are working so get to searching! So u also vote for not telling?
    1 point
  17. Yee s what always happens to me too! I set out to write a PWP or with very minimal plot and then it just gets totally out of control
    1 point
  18. Well just because I didn't like most of them, doesn't mean other ppl don't. I can only speak for me and my taste in the end. If your not sure how your readers feel about the sex, ask them to comment on it specifically and to tell you what they're interested in seeing. Tho I'm sure they liked it otherwise they'd complain or stop reading. And if you like the sex you wrote who am I to tell you to change? Well yeah ur beta but...you know what I mean! But s good ur looking for improvement if you’re not satisfied. I think you got a pretty good sexual tension going in the beginning of Parasitic Love though some of that dispersed a bit when the characters started fucking around -which is only to be expected, i honestly don't think I coulda pulled it off better if I was writing ur story. So when it comes to sexual tension ur doing pretty fucking good (at least in what I read so far) so dont be so hard on urself boo boo!
    1 point
  19. Aww boo! Why didya put me last bitch?! I didn't know u deleted anything?
    1 point
  20. ive seen a ………… few, stories where all it was, was characters having sex, very little plot or general story, yet its 5 – 10? chapters long. stories like that personally put me off, I have always been that way with most things. Games, TV, Movies and books have to have a good story to keep me into it, just having some kind of content for no reason tends to be replaced by something else of better quality. more can be better, but it can also hurt the story too, i think im running into that with my story.
    1 point
  21. For Fruit for the Picking I’ve been there, including through the Malaysian plantations, but not as a backpacker. It wasn’t difficult to adapt my experiences though. I’m very happy I could make you squirm in less than a thousand words! lol
    1 point
  22. I know which story it was! And speaking of under-appreciated. lol But at least that story had 3 (now 4) reviews, so I’m happy with that. Thanks for the review! And nice to meet you too!
    1 point
  23. That’s extremely interesting… your POV… I was just thinking recently that I need some serious help with my sex scenes… and HOW EMBARRASSING! I’m a female who sleeps with males! Why and how do I think I can write M/M no problem? Well, the only reason I thought I could is because I’ve seen other females in the past BLOW me away with their M/M sex scenes (at least I think they were female ) I’m interested in males, i like their parts, but weirdly enough, if I’m just looking to get off, I head to asstr.org and read either M/F or F/F. But romance? idk, i think it’s cuter to watch a M/M couple try to figure it out. I too want to get my readers off, and honestly, I don’t think I am. They like the characters, they mention them. The plot? Its keeping them interested. But no mentions to the sex! Lol! THAT’S BECAUSE IT SUUUUCKS!
    1 point
  24. Beautiful… What’s great about your advice is that it's so true and RELATABLE. Me and my neighbor IRL are bitter enemies because we run into each other in the parking lot all the time. She is my villain and I am hers! Maybe this is the writer in me, but I’ve always been curious about this neighbor of mine. Because you're right, she’s a protagonist in her own weird ass story. Shit, I know my story is pretty crazy lol. On another note, do you think it's ok to have a stereotypical antagonist? I’m not looking for an excuse, I’m just wondering since you asked about the purpose of the character, if how you can construct your bad guys depending on usage. I suppose you can, and I’m answering my own damned question! There can be more than one bad guy, it can just be the dick waiter who spills coffee on the main character, or you could be talking about the guy who’s plotting to rule the universe! Ok, well, thanks for that little tidbit of advise. I think that’ll be easy to store in my back pocket and take it along with me I like simple and sweet. easy to repeat!
    1 point
  25. mastershakeme

    Deus Ex Machina

    @Tcr My problem is plotting things out… I don’t like to plot too far ahead because honestly it runs the fun for me. I’m SUPER nervous of using deus ex and guess what! You just taught me something new! I didn’t know what that meant until today! I just thought it was labeled CHEATING! lol I’m sorry, I’m going to go now
    1 point
  26. This whole topic is hysterical! I keep thinking I’m writing these amazing sex scenes and then I go back and I’m like ‘I actually think that would hurt!!! That wouldn’t even feel good!’ Omg! Half the time I feel naughty writing all this balls-to-the-wall sex, but it sorta kinda gets me in character and even though I’m blushing at first I usually end up throwing dirty words around like no-ones business. I’m going to try using some of these helpful words next time lol!!!
    1 point
  27. I checked one of your stories out, I won’t say which one because I’m embarrassed lol. I don’t read M/F but… you write a good sex scene sir! I’m not new to AFF, but I also have never been a large contributor… I’m glad i saw this topic because that’s why I’m here on the forums... A few months back I too posted a story which I felt was one of my best works. The old ones had maybe 100 comments each, I was so sure I wouldn’t have an issue and I’d get some feedback, but 2 comments…. lol. It really scared me and made me doubt myself. I did a lot of editing and I’m back to post again, but since that happened to me, I’m seeing how much of an affect I can have on my fellow writers. We can always offer each other encouragement. We can show each other support. We can really make someone’s day by leaving them a simple message. I feel VERY socially awkward, but I’m here to give support. Because like all humans, I need a little support too :-P I’m going back to leave you a comment, Melrick Nice to meet you!
    1 point
  28. Aww my poor bobo! What story are you talking about? Crawling within?
    1 point
  29. Very true! Still, it’s nice to actually get feedback, and I even cherish mixed reviews, and negative reviews which I wholly disagree with as long as they’re not trollish.
    1 point
  30. The short answer in my case is that in one story in particular (Hermione’s Furry Little Problem) i wrote far more (detailed) smut scenes than I would have simply to keep up with audience demand. Frankly, it can get a bit boring and repetitive to read and write non-stop sex scenes in an epic length novel—some of the scenes were a bit perfunctory. I was far less excited for some of them and it shows. My preference is to only focus in detail on a few key sex scenes which advance the plot or advance the romance, and to present something new each time—leaving the other sex scenes implied or off-screen (which is mostly the way I handle my other major fics). But that’s not really what the question is about, is it!? The question is really about content. And to that, I have to say that I have yet to publish anything online outside of my comfort zone or which doesn’t excite me, which isn’t to say that I wouldn’t at some point write something that doesn’t generally float my boat. I’m actually entertained by quite a variety of fetishes and I’m pretty much open to writing anything, even outside of my comfort zone as long as it doesn’t feature prepubescent minors (taking into consideration that puberty can hit anywhere between 11 and 13—at eleven for me in any case ), older adults (anything over mid twenties) with minors, or snuff/necro, and I doubt I’ll ever publish anything which features non-con, nor Stockholm Syndrome style rape/slave fics (I have written some horribly filthy smut off-line which features hardcore non-con/slavery and bestiality, but it’ll never see the light of day). And for myself, I don’t really have any issues writing scenes featuring Minor 1 characters (pubescent ones anyway), because it’s always from the pov of the teen characters themselves and consensual, and it’s more about fond reminiscences of my own experiences and fantasies at that age (what can I say? I and my girlfriend were very precocious) than from the pov of a “middle-aged-perv.” There is some generally “non-exciting” content (to me) which I have planned on writing, but never got around to for one reason or another. At some point, I’m fairly certain that I will write some male slash scenes as out-takes from one of my stories which has male couples as secondary characters. Being of “ambiguous” gender identity myself (it varies depending on the day of the week) with a preference for women, I tend to mostly write scenes which reflect that: Het, Femslash, Bi, and sort-of-Trans gender-bending sex scenes. Going to JayDee’s point regarding writing stuff that loses regular readers, in my fics that tends to happen right around the part of my stories in which metamorphmagus!sort-of-Trans!Harry gender-bends and is ploughed by a girl (usually Hermione) with a strap-on dildo. Despite a lot of obvious foreshadowing, some are still surprised and it’s too “squick” for them. I’m also considering writing a metamorphmagus!futa!Tonks screws metamorphmagus!fem!Harry out-take scene. Futa isn’t generally my thing in a big way, but I enjoy it from time to time and I think it would be fun to have a go at writing a futa fic.
    1 point
  31. If you write original fiction then that tends to get less reviews than fan fiction, but if you’re like me and also write original but non m/m stuff then it gets even less reviews. And god forbid if you include no sex of any kind in it! lol
    1 point
  32. I'm on my phone so I'll keep this short so as not to anger the auto correct gods. Definitely the story I loved the most failed to get the reception I expected. It didn't get silence so much as by far the most criticism out of any of my stories, and I've posted some real stinkers that received heaps of nothing but praise. So yeah it was baffling to me that something I thought of as my best work was so negatively received. I've also had ones I was so excited about posting. Thought they were so well written and I was convinced they played perfectly to the audience. Then i posted and... crickets. So that was fun lol. You'd think it would be humbling, but I'm quite good at blaming everyone but me. (Okay, so I didn't really keep it short.)
    1 point
  33. 0.0 To be fair…. although I’m a very squeemish/shy person when it comes to sexual matters, and don’t know too much about it at all…...I just wanted to say, I find it funnier/better to use puns when writing, depending what you’re writing. Referencing the source material if possible or the situation people find themselves in, while I don’t think it’s always clever, can make for a better sex scene in several cases. That said, while I have heard most of the words here that I saw while skimming through as a quick glance, and do use them on occasion, I also find I have certain speech patterns I find hard to break. Knowing them might not make too much a difference if a person isn’t actively trying to find ways to use them. I’ve certainly fallen into a rather repetitive pattern with my usages, far as I can tell.
    1 point
  34. Concur, PenStoryTeller. Thinking back on it, I think I tend to use deus ex’s to get my characters into trouble, not out of it Also, a deus ex might be a symptom of an issue with POV. Something is happening behind the scenes that isn’t being communicated to the reader, which might be a deliberate handicap given the POV the author wished to explore.
    1 point
  35. What is the purpose of your antagonist.Are they soimply an obstacle, or are they meant to be a straw man, or reflection of the hero? These are the sorts of questions you need to ask. Best advice I’ve heard.? Treat and write your antagonists as if they were the protagonist of a different story centred around the same events. That will generally get you thionking about them interms of who they are and why they are as opposed to them being convenient amorphous plot-spackle .
    1 point
  36. The Deus Ex Machina is typically a trope born of poor planning , tight deadlines and frustration as much as it is lazy writing. A Deus Ex Machina like any writing tool, can be used to great effect. The greatest rule I’ve heard is that. COincicdeence and Chance should never solve problems. They may change the problems but if they solve the protagonist’s problems. It invariably trivializes the struggles of the protagonist. Worse,coincidence, chance, happenstance and deus Ex machina’s occur too frequently… it jettison’s the reader out of the experience. Too see deus Ex Machina done well. I’d recommend Reading A Spell for Chameleon by Piers Anthony. But let’s take Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Bilbo finding the ring could be seen as Deus Ex Machina right there. But note. The ring does not actually unilaterally solve Bilbo’s problems. It merely gives him a tool to assist him in figuring out solutions to his problems. By itself the RIng is as much a risk as it is a boon.. One might also see the ruscue by the eagles as Deus Ex Machina, but again it doesn’t really solve their issuesso much as deliver them from one problem to another, and initially Bilbo isn’t certain if the Eagles are helping. See how that works? One trick is to make someonthing seem like Deus Ex when actually it’s something that you’ve been subtly dropping clues about: The protagonist is told about the age of the buildings in a particular part of town. ANother chapter someone off handedly remarks that a great fire in the cuty destroyed all but a few of the oldest wooden buildings. IN another chapter, mention the unusually rainy and humid season, they;ve had the last few months. SO when the wooden roof of the old chapel collapses during the climactic chase scene, allowing our heroes to escape. An astute reader will probably remember those tidbits, or pick them up during the second read through. Of course, the Chapel must have been one of the buildings that was spared in the fire, so the wood was very old, worse still, the ususually rainy and humid conditions would promote or accelerate rot in the old wood. STill random that it chose then to collapse but it';s not like a tree branch announces that it’s going to fall on your car during the night. If you need too use a Deus Ex Machina. Use it early in the story. Let it be part of the inciting incident. If you write your characters into a situation that you need to use a deus ex machina to get them out… then you’re not playing fair with the reader. The reader’s mind will shift from, “How will they get out of this situation” to “How will the writer get them out of this situation.”
    1 point
  37. If you want to leave hints and clues to your mystery, then you’re playing a dangerous game. Keep them subtle enough that the reader will recognize them in hindsight rather than use them as foreshadowing. Or in other words. Make your clues subtle enough that the reader won’t see it on the first read through but will recognize things during the second. The best clues are usually not what you show happening, but rather just alluding to something that happneed off page. Having the main character notice a tear in the cuff of the butler’s sleeve. Have an off hand comment that the woman was seen talking with someone named Marcus.
    1 point
  38. Well, firstly, thank you to Sweetmamajama, for the new signature picture. I think it looks great :). Secondly, new signature pic! :).
    1 point
  39. For an experiment into how far my self-editing has come, thirteen chapters posted is definitely something. (Would love to get back to BaH, but I’m on too much a roll with Come Hell or High Water, lol.) Here’s to thirteen more (and beyond).
    1 point
  40. Guest

    CloverReef's Review Centre

    Hello CloverReef, I feel really stupid, but I started reading a story on AFF late last night and I don't remember the title or author but I do remember you were the beta because I recognized your name. Today I went on my phone to continue reading and the story had vanished from AFF. It was about Connor and a boy he found in the swamp behind his trailer called M. I was just wondering if you could tell me what it was called, who the author is, and if you know why it's gone. Thanks! (BTW I really like your stories)
    1 point
  41. The point is, it’s there if they want to look for it. Then there’s people like me who enjoy a good mystery so we can passively watch the MC go through the hints and solve it without us having to do any braining.
    1 point
  42. CloverReef

    Deus Ex Machina

    Personally, I like the deus ex as a tool. But as with any tool, it has to be used consciously and carefully to avoid that eye roll, 1 second left moment DP mentioned. Sometimes it’s fun to straddle the line between miraculous and realistic. Sometimes miraculous can be made believable, and sometimes shit that’s unbelievable can be gripping and suspenseful. It’s just when it’s used in excess or, you know, cliche-y, or very clearly just stuck in because the writer didn’t have any better ideas, then it feels too silly/lazy to enjoy. Sometimes it feels like a wasted opportunity for growth because the authors afraid to hurt their characters. Moral of the story: Tools are fun if you use them right. (I feel like that’s a wink wink moment… Do Deus Ex Machinas vibrate?)
    1 point
  43. Melrick will appreciate your volunteerism on this topic (once his computer woes are fixed).
    1 point
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