The Use of Profanity in Writing Sex Scenes

[none]

There is a tendency among a lot of writers to rely on profanity when they're writing a sex scene. To the writer who does this, all sex scenes have to have profanity. Someone has to be screaming “fuck me” or something for the sex scene to be readable (according to the people who rely on it).

Before you start writing your scene, here are some questions you should ask yourself:

1.) Who are the characters in your scene? Is it in their personality or their diction to use that type of profanity, even in extreme situations? If not, then your characters won't actually be in the scene you write. Instead, it’ll be charicatures of your characters.

2.) What was the build up to the scene you are writing? Was it two characters confessing their feelings in an intimate fashion, or was it just animal lust? The former sets into the story better with as little profanity as possible (preferably none). If it, for example, was an encounter in the backroom of a sex club, then feel free to go as heavy with profanity as you’d like because it sets into your story.

These are just my opinions. Take them for whatever little they're worth.

 

[Desiderius Price]

23 minutes ago, none said:

Someone has to be screaming “fuck me” or something for the sex scene to be readable (according to the people who rely on it).

If a writer needs to advertise it’s a sex scene in order to be a “sex scene”, then I’d think something is lacking in the writing.  Now, in certain contexts, a “fuck me” or “bang me” might be indicative of a character’s personality, or maybe there’s a scenario the two (or more) are roleplaying.  (Though, I suppose you could have it be solo, somebody watching a B/C grade porn film.) 

Now, in the sex scenes I write, if there’s profanity, something’s going seriously wrong for the characters, or a copper’s busting them.

[none]

On 9/10/2023 at 4:20 PM, WillowDarkling said:

 

 

1 hour ago, Desiderius Price said:

If a writer needs to advertise it’s a sex scene in order to be a “sex scene”, then I’d think something is lacking in the writing.  Now, in certain contexts, a “fuck me” or “bang me” might be indicative of a character’s personality, or maybe there’s a scenario the two (or more) are roleplaying.  (Though, I suppose you could have it be solo, somebody watching a B/C grade porn film.) 

Agreed. This is basically what I’m saying, summed up nicely.

A good exercise people suffering from this problem can do to correct it is to pull a scenario out of the air (completely random), and write the sex scene without using any profanity whatsoever. After a while, it’ll become habit.

Although I could probably supliment my own exercises with some basic forum posting study so that I’m not quoting posts from other threads when I’m trying to quote someone here (LOL!).

[Desiderius Price]

1 hour ago, none said:

A good exercise people suffering from this problem can do to correct it is to pull a scenario out of the air (completely random), and write the sex scene without using any profanity whatsoever. After a while, it’ll become habit.

Counted… four orgasms in the last chapter I wrote.  Pretty rare to actually get curse words, or even anything sharply worded, in them.  Profanity’s kinda like a spice or flavoring, like garlic, cinnamon, or vanilla; a little bit goes a long ways.  (Though I do tend to overdo garlic, tend to switch “clove” => “bulb” when I add it in.)

[none]

1 hour ago, Desiderius Price said:

Counted… four orgasms in the last chapter I wrote.  Pretty rare to actually get curse words, or even anything sharply worded, in them.  Profanity’s kinda like a spice or flavoring, like garlic, cinnamon, or vanilla; a little bit goes a long ways.  (Though I do tend to overdo garlic, tend to switch “clove” => “bulb” when I add it in.)

This is off topic, but you should check out an anime called “Food Wars”. There's 36 volumes in the manga, and the manga actually has practical recipes for the food that they're cooking in the show!

But getting back on topic, it is definitely true that profanity in the correct spots can actually enhance the effectiveness of an attempt at communication, but too much shows not only articulation inadequacies but literacy inadequacies as well.

[Desiderius Price]

2 minutes ago, none said:

This is off topic, but you should check out an anime called “Food Wars”. There's 36 volumes in the manga, and the manga actually has practical recipes for the food that they're cooking in the show!

But getting back on topic, it is definitely true that profanity in the correct spots can actually enhance the effectiveness of an attempt at communication, but too much shows not only articulation inadequacies but literacy inadequacies as well.

I’m pretty good at derailing anything off topic, I try to avoid it (usually). 

Profanity depends on the characterization too… boys in a locker room?  That’s likely filled with expletives.  A football coach?  LIkely.  Church?  unlikely. 

 

[BronxWench]

9 minutes ago, none said:

But getting back on topic, it is definitely true that profanity in the correct spots can actually enhance the effectiveness of an attempt at communication, but too much shows not only articulation inadequacies but literacy inadequacies as well.

It’s definitely contextual. If I’m writing something set in a modern setting, with rough characters, there will be swearing. If it’s more of a gracious setting, the swearing might be replaced with more elegant language but conveying the same intent. Of course, if I go for ancient Rome and the legions, those lads swore like mad (which could be my favorite part of Latin, come to think of it).

[Desiderius Price]

6 minutes ago, BronxWench said:

It’s definitely contextual. If I’m writing something set in a modern setting, with rough characters, there will be swearing. If it’s more of a gracious setting, the swearing might be replaced with more elegant language but conveying the same intent. Of course, if I go for ancient Rome and the legions, those lads swore like mad (which could be my favorite part of Latin, come to think of it).

Of course, swearing (or even talking) likely means they’re not really having sex, not yet, so is that actually part of the sex scene?

[BronxWench]

45 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

Of course, swearing (or even talking) likely means they’re not really having sex, not yet, so is that actually part of the sex scene?

Some people talk during sex. Seriously. To my mind, it means you’re not doing it right, but your mileage may vary.  

[Desiderius Price]

1 hour ago, BronxWench said:

Some people talk during sex. Seriously. To my mind, it means you’re not doing it right, but your mileage may vary.  

Phone sex… or this Ron/Hermione scene I’m working on where I’ve got Ron trying to learn “healing” so becomes more of a “playing doctor” type of scenario.

[Deadman]

14 hours ago, none said:

There is a tendency among a lot of writers to rely on profanity when they're writing a sex scene. To the writer who does this, all sex scenes have to have profanity. Someone has to be screaming “fuck me” or something for the sex scene to be readable (according to the people who rely on it).

Before you start writing your scene, here are some questions you should ask yourself:

1.) Who are the characters in your scene? Is it in their personality or their diction to use that type of profanity, even in extreme situations? If not, then your characters won't actually be in the scene you write. Instead, it’ll be charicatures of your characters.

2.) What was the build up to the scene you are writing? Was it two characters confessing their feelings in an intimate fashion, or was it just animal lust? The former sets into the story better with as little profanity as possible (preferably none). If it, for example, was an encounter in the backroom of a sex club, then feel free to go as heavy with profanity as you’d like because it sets into your story.

These are just my opinions. Take them for whatever little they're worth.

 

Totally get where you’re coming from with this.

Personally, I try and avoid swear words and other stuff wherever possible. Usually because my fandoms are on network TV that don’t allow swearing. So I try to reflect the characters I write about as much as possible.

That being said, I have used it but I use it sparingly. Mainly because these type of situations, sex scenes, don’t usually show up in stories on network TV. There’s more often than not a “fade to black” so I can’t be sure they wouldn’t swear during sex.

But again, it’s all about making it work for the character.

An example I use is that I will do things like have an ongoing joke in some stories. Where a character is engaging in some kind of sex act, gets really turned on by what’s being done to them, and they will yell out “Fuck”, which then leads to the another character saying “That’s the idea”.
 

Edited September 15, 2023 by Deadman

[Desiderius Price]

53 minutes ago, Deadman said:

Personally, I try and avoid swear words and other stuff wherever possible. Usually because my fandoms are on network TV that don’t allow swearing. So I try to reflect the characters I write about as much as possible.

That being said, I have used it but I use it sparingly. Mainly because these type of situations, sex scenes, don’t usually show up in stories on network TV. There’s more often than not a “fade to black” so I can’t be sure they wouldn’t swear during sex.

It’s intriguing when stories/fandoms come up with unique alternatives to swear words too.  (BSG… the original, looking at you)

“Fade to black” is something I practice on my “cleaner” version of my potter fanfic, though you’ll typically find the full scenes in the explicit.  Very useful when you want to show the buildup/circumstances, but want/need to leave the details up to the reader.  Came up with a creative way on one Ron/Hermione date night, having Harry make commentary the next morning on the citations

[GeorgeGlass]

I use profanity frequently in sex scenes, for two reasons:

--My sex scenes are more often about lust than love.

--I’m a great devotee of dirty talk in sex scenes.

On the second point, though, my friend and beta Jomahawk recently gave me some sage advice: If one or both of the characters are capable of speaking full, uninterrupted sentences during sex, it suggests that they aren’t having that good a time. So now I try to be mindful of that.

[Desiderius Price]

7 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said:

On the second point, though, my friend and beta Jomahawk recently gave me some sage advice: If one or both of the characters are capable of speaking full, uninterrupted sentences during sex, it suggests that they aren’t having that good a time. So now I try to be mindful of that.

Wait, you’re telling me that a character shouldn’t be getting off while giving a book report?

[none]

11 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

Wait, you’re telling me that a character shouldn’t be getting off while giving a book report?

I’ve done this… it’s fun….

[Deadman]

On 9/17/2023 at 10:54 AM, GeorgeGlass said:

I use profanity frequently in sex scenes, for two reasons:

--My sex scenes are more often about lust than love.

--I’m a great devotee of dirty talk in sex scenes.

On the second point, though, my friend and beta Jomahawk recently gave me some sage advice: If one or both of the characters are capable of speaking full, uninterrupted sentences during sex, it suggests that they aren’t having that good a time. So now I try to be mindful of that.

Maybe what they need is better training in things like tantric? This could help with speaking during sex.

In my case, a lot of my stories involve characters who are not directly involved. So there are people who can concentrate while enjoying things.
 

[Desiderius Price]

9 hours ago, Deadman said:

Maybe what they need is better training in things like tantric? This could help with speaking during sex.

In my case, a lot of my stories involve characters who are not directly involved. So there are people who can concentrate while enjoying things.

Well, depending on circumstances, you can have OTHER characters talking.  Maybe it’s the radio/TV in the background.  Maybe it’s others around the corner wondering why there’s underwear on the floor.  (Or in some of my works, the characters don’t mind giving a show.) Talking could be important or not, in the end, it’d help break up long descriptive paragraphs.