SinfulWolf's Review Responses

[Sinfulwolf]

A review on Blood and Lace chapter 8 by @Tcr

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YAY! It has come!!!

Okay, now that the excited opening is done (though still excited ;)...), the review proper:

Yes, yes it has. And far too long in the coming as well.

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Well…  shit…  That was a Hell of an opening.  It was well done and the tentacle sex was a great, intriguing addition to it.  I like how she doesn't know where she is at first, a very real sensation that grounds her in reality.  Then comes your usual descriptive sense, which is kind of disturbing in a way as how it's taking place.  But that's a great thing!

I also love the introduction to what is possibly a Big Bad, definitely classed as a demonic “God”.  But who?  And what does this one have in mind?  And this intro was bloody creepy in and of itself.  Or maybe that's the nature of the scene you've crafted (or my envisioning of it).  (Is it bad I get the sound of some suave British accent to its voice?)  It comes off quite suave, even with its use of stuff like “slut” that would, to me, take away from suaveness.

And a little bit backwards steps.  I do like the questions that permeate even after.  The ones talking to her after the fact leave several questions even as they have given answers.  Not to give too much away, but one of the biggest questions is “What just happened?”

My basis is writing at a Hentai website, so I figure I’d bring a little hentai element into the story. I just… grounded it a bit, and it becomes a bit closer to horror on many levels. Plus tentacles. They’re fun to write. But yes, it was a challenge to have elements of the erotic and sexual/sensual, while also delivering on disturbing and horrorific. It’s a challenge I’m often posing to myself with this story, and it’s been fun.

Eh… possibly a big bad. It is certainly one of the Devil’s that’s been referenced a few times throughout. As to what this particular one has in mind… time will tell there. I’m glad you found that creep factor though. Without it, I figure the presence of this Devil would be diluted. As to the sound of his voice… well, that’s up to the reader eh?

As to the questions, and “What just happened?” well… what do you think just happened? I thought I was fairly clear cut on the delivery, but if I wasn’t… that kind of works in my favour this time around.

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Then comes the strange part.  I do love how you portray the two voices and the fight for domination within the possessed.  That was a perfect way to do that.  Kudos!  Two thumbs way up!  I like the descriptions of how they're possessed, too, from the beginning through to the end.  And Derek's ethical question is a good character development; it shows he's not entirely void of humanity and empathy.  Kris is more pragmatic in that regard.

Your description of the possessed hammering the car, and perhaps this was your intention, definitely brought up a mix of zombie movies and a city riot.  Both of which suit the story you have set up so far and is definitely a plus.  The descriptions are, as always, vivid and well written, properly chosen words to accent the scene.

This line: “Who knew Washington would make me miss Kandahar” is probably the standout so far.  I laughed my ass off!  (Although, might just be me, but I think it needs a question mark…)

Also, the realistic reaction of the man refusing to let Kris in because of what she looks like and what's happening, I think is a good addition.  It shows that not everyone is welcoming to the four.

The possessed, the damned, I’ve been eager to introduce for awhile. There’s a bunch of variations too that act… ever so slightly different from each other, depending on the sin they were imprisoned within. The ones we have here being Lust. But I had a lot of fun bringing them forth, and trying to present a zombie like foe that just… was odd, and fucked up. I actually took a bit from the comic “Crossed” for inspiration. The duality of them though is of my own design, and it did let me play with ethics and such a little bit between these two characters.

A mix of zombie movie and city riot certainly works for the situation. I wanted that kind of chaos amidst it all.

Heh, that line was inspired by the one in Battle Los Angeles that’s very similar. The question mark thing… it’s a bit of a typo, but it’s more a statement in a question for I suppose. I’ll ponder changing it and how that might alter the delivering in my head.

And I wanted to show that… these four are becoming outsiders. They’re different, physically representing the very thing that seemingly invading. I just figured not everyone would be on board with them.

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On to Mia.  And Vegas.  And my jealousy at being in Vegas.  Lol.

Whether intentional or not, I do love the fact that, even when the reality is that Hell is real, et cetera, people are still like “Demon possession, fake!” on YouTube vids showing demonic attacks and possession.

I like the interaction between Mia and the handmaids and the continuing development of Mia from the more quiet, almost submissive (almost) we see at the start through to the developing assertive woman we see now.  It's a great development done wonderfully.

And the relative bookstore owner…  hmm…  The cliche here is that it will be the one they're looking for.  This isn't a bad thing.  It could be a good way to expand on Mia a little.  On the flip side, it could be a good way to subvert expectations.  And I'll be honest, I want to see where you'll go with it! 

Well, that jealousy may sap soon enough. We’ll see.

Intentional. I find modern people very cynical, and so I wanted to portray that. I was experimenting a bit using You Tube and Headlines to deliver some world building. How did it turn out overall?

I’m glad you’ve been enjoying Mia’s character arc. Part of it stemmed from my switch in plot and tone for the story, resulting in Mia’s end goal changing. Therefore, higher arc for her.

Now… the relative bookstore owner. While writing I was aware of the cliche, but it’s not a big revelation in my mind if she turns out to be the witch. To me, it was on the nose enough for Mia to start following that particular bread trail and see where it leads. So while cliche, I didn’t want to build it up to be this massive revelation. More a small one.

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Well…  Rasha's pattern of self destructive behaviour continues.  I thought maybe there was a slight improvement, but she seems to rollercoaster.  I do like the interaction here, too.  Everyone was believable.  Reactions were good, the users were… well, cringey.  I'm not sure about the drug use, so that I can't really comment on (sorry), but I did love the implication at the end.

I like the ending.  Seeing Kris as still human, despite everything, is a good choice.  Obviously, she's not entirely human anymore, but that's not going to stop her.  Having her remember Sam (whom I'd still love to see more of, by the way) and little memories of their time together was a nice touch.  But now I wonder what comes next?

Yes… yes it does. Her rollercoasting really comes from her addictions. The highs and lows from the drugs, sex, and booze. Each low is getting lower, digging that pit deeper. I was tempted to go a bit cringier, but… people don’t often talk like that. I alreadt feel these examples are a touch extreme, but it works for that particular scene setup. The ending implication was a perfect fade to black moment.

I really do need to involve Sam more. Alas it’s not on the cards for the immediate future. But it felt good to ground Kris in that love again.

 

Thank you as always for the review.

[Tcr]

23 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

A review on Blood and Lace chapter 8 by @Tcr

Yes, yes it has. And far too long in the coming as well.

Much prefer long to never.  Especially a good and well written story like B&L.

23 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

My basis is writing at a Hentai website, so I figure I’d bring a little hentai element into the story. I just… grounded it a bit, and it becomes a bit closer to horror on many levels. Plus tentacles. They’re fun to write. But yes, it was a challenge to have elements of the erotic and sexual/sensual, while also delivering on disturbing and horrorific. It’s a challenge I’m often posing to myself with this story, and it’s been fun.

Lol.  It's been done wonderfully.  And given my own recent experience writing tentacles, I can see the fun involved.  .  And I think you did well in combining the two opposite spectrums into a disturbing, yet interesting and kinky, scene.

23 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

Eh… possibly a big bad. It is certainly one of the Devil’s that’s been referenced a few times throughout. As to what this particular one has in mind… time will tell there. I’m glad you found that creep factor though. Without it, I figure the presence of this Devil would be diluted. As to the sound of his voice… well, that’s up to the reader eh?

As to the questions, and “What just happened?” well… what do you think just happened? I thought I was fairly clear cut on the delivery, but if I wasn’t… that kind of works in my favour this time around.

The possessed, the damned, I’ve been eager to introduce for awhile. There’s a bunch of variations too that act… ever so slightly different from each other, depending on the sin they were imprisoned within. The ones we have here being Lust. But I had a lot of fun bringing them forth, and trying to present a zombie like foe that just… was odd, and fucked up. I actually took a bit from the comic “Crossed” for inspiration. The duality of them though is of my own design, and it did let me play with ethics and such a little bit between these two characters.

A mix of zombie movie and city riot certainly works for the situation. I wanted that kind of chaos amidst it all.

The intro of the Devil is creepy enough to add to the environment and well done creep vibe.  As for what just happened, there's several things I can think of, but that's the Joy's of reading, after all .  And definitely loved the zombie vibe while reading.  Reminded me of a few old movies, like the good old Romero films.  As for the line, I thought I recognized it, but I still laughed my ass off at it and I think it works far better in the context here than Battle: LA.

23 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

Intentional. I find modern people very cynical, and so I wanted to portray that. I was experimenting a bit using You Tube and Headlines to deliver some world building. How did it turn out overall?

I’m glad you’ve been enjoying Mia’s character arc. Part of it stemmed from my switch in plot and tone for the story, resulting in Mia’s end goal changing. Therefore, higher arc for her.

Lol.  Adding YouTube and headlines definitely works.  Recently saw a headline on YouTube "I Gave Birth To Demon" and when I was reading yours, it was like...  Yep, sounds like people.  Spread any information they can without facts.  Or blurring them into obscurity.  Honestly, I think it works fantastically.

I like this change.  I think it works for the better. Expanding on Mia allows for a better experience in terms of the characters and has been allowing a more realistic feel to them.

27 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

Now… the relative bookstore owner. While writing I was aware of the cliche, but it’s not a big revelation in my mind if she turns out to be the witch. To me, it was on the nose enough for Mia to start following that particular bread trail and see where it leads. So while cliche, I didn’t want to build it up to be this massive revelation. More a small one.

I actually like it.  Specifically because there's a chance of following the cliche (albeit built up enough by the bookstore being frequented by Sabine and the reason being a relative, who sticks the books with hers) or subverting that cliche.  But still, well done in writing the scene.

30 minutes ago, Sinfulwolf said:

Yes… yes it does. Her rollercoasting really comes from her addictions. The highs and lows from the drugs, sex, and booze. Each low is getting lower, digging that pit deeper. I was tempted to go a bit cringier, but… people don’t often talk like that. I alreadt feel these examples are a touch extreme, but it works for that particular scene setup. The ending implication was a perfect fade to black moment.

I really do need to involve Sam more. Alas it’s not on the cards for the immediate future. But it felt good to ground Kris in that love again.

 

Thank you as always for the review.

I do like the portrayal you have.  It kind of feels natural.  Although, not my experience, so maybe I'm off wildly.  But, that said, it is possible that her own transformation is affecting her too.  She seems to shift addictions (from drugs to sex to drugs to sex almost based off what she can get around her).  And that's a good idea.  Thumbs up!

And yeah...  Bring more Sam!  More Sam!  More Sam!! (Lol .)  I do like her interactions between them and the fact that Kris thinks of her more than occasionally shows her love for Sam as deeply as she does.

AND...  As always, you're welcome for it.  It's a great story and I eagerly await the next installment.

[Sinfulwolf]

16 minutes ago, Tcr said:

Much prefer long to never.  Especially a good and well written story like B&L.

Lol.  It's been done wonderfully.  And given my own recent experience writing tentacles, I can see the fun involved.  .  And I think you did well in combining the two opposite spectrums into a disturbing, yet interesting and kinky, scene.

Heh, fair, and thank ye.

Tentacles can be damn hot. All that slithering. But, it lets me crank up weirdness and creepy too. As I keep saying, ad infinitium.

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The intro of the Devil is creepy enough to add to the environment and well done creep vibe.  As for what just happened, there's several things I can think of, but that's the Joy's of reading, after all .  And definitely loved the zombie vibe while reading.  Reminded me of a few old movies, like the good old Romero films.  As for the line, I thought I recognized it, but I still laughed my ass off at it and I think it works far better in the context here than Battle: LA.

Lol.  Adding YouTube and headlines definitely works.  Recently saw a headline on YouTube "I Gave Birth To Demon" and when I was reading yours, it was like...  Yep, sounds like people.  Spread any information they can without facts.  Or blurring them into obscurity.  Honestly, I think it works fantastically.

Heh, maybe some of the good ol Romero films, but I likely owe more to Zack Snyder and James Gunn with their work on the 2004 Dawn of the Dead for how the possessed act. Damn that opening was awesome. And heh, fair, but I think the context is pretty equal.

Fuckin You Tube. But I’m glad it works.

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I like this change.  I think it works for the better. Expanding on Mia allows for a better experience in terms of the characters and has been allowing a more realistic feel to them.

I actually like it.  Specifically because there's a chance of following the cliche (albeit built up enough by the bookstore being frequented by Sabine and the reason being a relative, who sticks the books with hers) or subverting that cliche.  But still, well done in writing the scene.

Well… the change is basically the entire plot, so of course ye do. The original idea was more realistic and more drama based. More erotica than Erotic Hororr.

And good. Sabine will be found soon enough.

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I do like the portrayal you have.  It kind of feels natural.  Although, not my experience, so maybe I'm off wildly.  But, that said, it is possible that her own transformation is affecting her too.  She seems to shift addictions (from drugs to sex to drugs to sex almost based off what she can get around her).  And that's a good idea.  Thumbs up!

And yeah...  Bring more Sam!  More Sam!  More Sam!! (Lol .)  I do like her interactions between them and the fact that Kris thinks of her more than occasionally shows her love for Sam as deeply as she does.

AND...  As always, you're welcome for it.  It's a great story and I eagerly await the next installment.

I thought it did. I’m glad it worked. I was a bit worried I was going overboard with some of the comments. The addictions though are less based on her change, and more on PTSD, not wanting to deal with what she did in Hell, and what she allowed to become of herself. It’s letting her be manipulated.

I’ll see what I can do, but plot and story will determine when Sam appears again. But yes, I like throwing in the occasional phone call, thoughts, memories, and the like to link to her a bit more. And showing their caring.

Glad you are.

[Sinfulwolf]

A review on “Closing Time” by @InBrightestDay

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Well, this was a great little oneshot!  I especially like Lili, both for her badass persona and for the humor of the ever-escalating description of the fight she was in ("I'm fine" to "I got in a bit of a tussle" to "I was thrown into a tree").  I kind of want to know how that all happened now.

There's also some wording in the story that I quite enjoyed.  For instance, at first I thought "lifting the right to rest her foot on the brass bar running around the bar of the bar." was a typo, but then I realized that there is a bar (the metal thing) that runs around the bar (the thing Sarah serves drinks from behind) inside the bar (the establishment she owns), and it was actually kind of funny.

I certainly had fun with it, and developing the backstory in my mind. I had actually thought about having the fight done in the Halloween short before settling on the fantasy stuff that I did. 

I’m glad you found it kind of funny, cause reading it again I find it a bit awkward. I really was struggling with that part to put it out without sounding overly clumsy. At least there’s some humour for it.

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I am assuming that "She favoured her left left," is a typo though.  Left leg, maybe?

Yep, typo. Supposed to be left leg.

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I also really liked this bit:

“I wasn’t looking for a fuck tonight,” Lili said, and Sarah smirked at the dip into vulger language. It suited her. 

“Do you care that a fuck found you anyway?”

It feels like it fits the characters, and I just enjoy the wordplay.

Heh. I did enjoy that line. I couldn’t not put it in once I thought of it.

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The sex is really hot, and I like the slow burn between the characters that starts pretty much the second Lili walks in.  Beyond just being hot, something I really enjoy is the humanity you put into it, the little moments of awkwardness that make it feel more real, like how Sarah is so anxious to crawl into Lili's lap that she momentarily forgets about the bruises.  It's the kind of thing that can readily happen in real life, and it's nice to see it here.  There is one more minor typo:

Working her into the embrace of climax, the other woman nearly creaming her pleasure into Sarah’s mouth.

I'm assuming you meant screaming.

Well since the whole story was centred around this one night stand, I couldn’t help but just have that attraction and sexual tension start as soon as Lili walked in through the door. Then I started thinking about how to not just make it sexy, but kind of relatable for something that really is bordering on the edge of fantasy (Full on fantasy to me cause I know the backstory). So a couple little moments here and there I felt would help that. And since you liked it, I think it worked.

And yes. Yes I meant screaming, lol. 

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You even got a little hint of romance in there at the end, what with Lili deciding that maybe this will be more than just a one night stand.  It's also sweet to see how adorable Sarah is while sleeping, complete with drooling.  Like with her oops moment with the bruises, it just makes the character feel more human.

Again, this was a great read, and thank you for writing it!

The bit at the end I meant to hint at a lonely life Lili has been living. And the drooling well… I included that cause too often media shows sleeping women as these perfect little creatures of beauty. I thought a nice little drool bit might really bring it down to reality. 

Glad you enjoyed! And thank you for reading and commenting!

Edited April 7, 2019 by Sinfulwolf

[InBrightestDay]

12 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:

Heh. I did enjoy that line. I couldn’t not put it in once I thought of it.

Whenever I have that thought (“Well, I can’t not put this in now,”) it’s usually a terrible joke.

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I certainly had fun with it, and developing the backstory in my mind. I had actually thought about having the fight done in the Halloween short before settling on the fantasy stuff that I did.

...for something that really is bordering on the edge of fantasy (Full on fantasy to me cause I know the backstory).

You’re making me really curious about this.  If you ever do end up writing about the fight, I’m going to have to check it out.

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And the drooling well… I included that cause too often media shows sleeping women as these perfect little creatures of beauty. I thought a nice little drool bit might really bring it down to reality.

I get what you mean.  Women in movies and TV tend to roll out of bed with makeup on, or somehow have hair that stays perfectly styled while sleeping.  I also rather liked it because, well, it’s something I’ve done: wake up, realize I was drooling in my sleep and then hope nobody saw it.  It feels very relatable.

Edited April 8, 2019 by InBrightestDay

[Sinfulwolf]

Review on Blackburn Chapter 2 by @JayDee

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I was really happy to see another part of this after enjoying the first chapter, and really enjoyed reading it.

Had kind of a Pretty Woman flashback for a second there as she walked into the shop although you definitely took that in a different direction! Beefore then the description of the coal smelling streets was a small touch that brought a big sense of atmosphere.

As for the uniform fitting, well, it was probably the most erotically sensual I've ever read but the line about not being in polite company made me laugh out loud. Another great part and I look forward to more.

Glad you were happy to see more. I don’t have solid intentions of keeping this particular thing rolling, but as I get inspired and come up with ideas, I’ll certainly write more.

That was a fun little bit, fish out of water sort of bit. Never thought of the Pretty Woman correlation, but it is a bit of a trope. The atmosphere… oh I had to get that. I tried to nail it without being overbearing, to really sell that this was Victorian London in an alternate history (not that alternative. Just more female presence I suppose ).

Glad you enjoyed that. I took some inspiration from ASMR stuff for how to write it, and just had to work on translating it to smut. The polite company line was just one of those amusing little bits I had to throw in.

[JayDee]

I’ll cross me fingers you get more inspiration for it then!

[Sinfulwolf]

A review on Blackburn Chapter 2 (or, the second short I did) by @CloverReef

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I... I like Beatrice. She's wearing a motherfucking top hat. That's like... That's my jam, yo!

"but knew there was more to it than a simple chill"

Hell yeah, there was!

I love how she said she'd you know, be chill about them temptations like she was promising to behave, and then in two seconds she very much does not behave. But yeah, that was hot. Well done!

Glad you liked her. I based her off a character I saw in a video, with them big glasses and top hat. Besides, a tailor has to be well dressed. 
Glad you liked it, glad it was hot. And, immediate contradictions is fun. Especially when lust is involved.

[Sinfulwolf]

A review on A Private Triumph from @CloverReef, thanks dear.

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Still, you have this amazing talent for painting a scene. And I know I've mentioned this before, but its those little things, they always get me. Those little gestures that you don't often see in writing. Like:
Rhoda flexed her fingers around the hilt of her spatha

I keep that more in mind now since you’ve mentioned it before. I guess it was always something I’ve kind of done, but now I’m a bit more aware and keep trying to work it in. I like that it works and helps sell the story and setting.

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Much as I love all the action and gore - and I really lovel the gore - and I approve of starting shit with a bang. I do have an issue with this though: the beginning goes on for a while without introducing us to Rhoda outside of battle mode. At some point I just wanted to learn more about her so I could know why I was rooting for her in all this violence. 

Glad you liked the gore. I do like to think I can do gore decently. Good to know about the lack of a proper introduction. While opening with a bang is good for the hook, I do like decently lengthed battles, so perhaps I need to think of other ways to open. Even if with action, cause you are right: need to give the reader a reason to root for Rhoda, and leave those longer battles for later when you actually care about her.

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Okay so that brief glimpse of m/m you had there was way more than I expected and hot as fuck, but let's get right to the meat of the fic:

I added bits more in there, mostly cause it’s this central little display piece, but it’s moving, and it’s erotic. So I put more detail into the stuff than I had originally planned.

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Rhoda's an interesting character. I don't feel like I get to see enough of her here, but that's par for the course in a short story like that. She seems honest, intelligent, driven. I like how willing she is to dive in and let herself have fun at the party - I don't usually see that in the stoic soldiery characters, they usually end up frowning the whole time people are having fun or outright crashing shit with their no-nonesense hangups. 

Perhaps I’ll get more opportunities to explore her character, but yeah I did want to play with the stoic soldiery type, and part of me writing this was my fascination with the Romans, but also the debauchery they used to get up to. So I figured a dedicated soldier would be just as up for that debauchery. Plus, real soldiers often are
 

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Labda is def my kinda character. She's hedonistic, sharp and not shy about taking what she wants, even if she does like playing games along the way. And she is friggin ruthless, haha! Their sexy times was hot (though I had way more fun reading the display in the pool stuff because m/m is my jam). The way you wrote that whole party just sucked me right in. It was beautifully done. 

Labda was fun to write, and interesting. Slavery is so frowned upon in today’s society, yet I had a slaver character who I wanted the reader to look at just like any other merchant. Well… a sexy merchant that really likes sex anyway. 

Glad you thought it was all hot. that’s pretty key for a short like this me thinks. And that the part was absorbing like that is pretty good to hear. 

[Sinfulwolf]

So @Tcr has left me two reviews! I’ve got em here:

First is for A Private Triumph, the Amazonian recreation of Rome.

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I love the details you have throughout the entire story, but especially love the ones during the battle.  The way you've started it drags the reader in and makes them want to read more.  Also, the order or lines, excellent work.  And Rhoda's badassness is just awesome to read, especially with the awkwardness later in the story!  Great job!

I felt showing would work really well here, vs. the typical telling. So I wanted to really show her in action, how she’s earned her accolades. Besides, I thought bringing it into the action right away would hook the reader. Now. I think I may have overdone it a bit, as others have wanted to know more about that character. But, this may be a mileage may vary moment. It’s still something I’ll have to ponder.

And yes, I really tried to show some accurate Roman tactics at the century level.

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I love this little bit of worldbuilding with Maera, it's interesting and lays out this AU world quite well, without delving too deep in this short.

The only real drawback is that I'd really love to know what happened to the Romans! Lol.  But I always want to know the turning points in AUs, so that's more a me thing.  You've done a great job.

It is certainly a tricky balance. Especially in an AU world. To build and create a wider setting, without info dumping and boring the character. I thought about a few lines to mention the actual Romans, but I stopped myself. If I ever return to this with a proper story, I’ll mention what happened to the Romans.

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And you certainly have a knack for political play in the masks of parties.  Lol.  It was well done and I got the sense, even without Rhoda's words, that she wasn't entirely comfortable in the party.  The wording and description get it across quite well.

Then there's the sex.  I feel like I just keep repeating myself, but it was hot.  And enjoyable to read.  Two thumbs way up!

I think I might be getting a kink now for parties holding political machinations behind the curtains. But glad you got Rhoda’s discomfort. 

And glad the sex was hot!

 

 

And the second review was for Blackburn Chapter 2

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Well, I love the way you start it off, a continuation of the first part.  And the little insight into how Lauren has managed to make it a little easier on herself to gain the respect of those under her is a nice touch.  It's a good way to keep building on the world and the character you have created.  Excellent!

A few touches here and there to build some context, to build on the character. Cause as I always say “Context makes things hotter”. 

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I did notice one thing, and maybe it is just me, but while I was reading some of the conversation between Lauren and Beatrice, I was emphasizing some words, ones that you don't have.  If I may suggest, some of the conversation words could be Italicized.  For example:

""It is not just a uniform, and like it or not, you are not just an officer. Your battlefields are far behind you for the time being Ms. Blackburn."

Could be:

""It is not just a uniform, and like it or not, you are not just an officer. Your battlefields are far behind you for the time being Ms. Blackburn."

Also, I believe commas before/after addressee depending on location in the sentence.

I’m, really not entirely sure what you mean here. I don’t think your own italics went in, and I’m not sure what commas you’re referring to.

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Lol.  The way you lead into sexy fun times is interesting.  Definitely not the way any fittings I had went lol.

Very nicely done with the sex.  Again, quite enjoyable to read.  It was interesting reading it with the phallus…  I don't remember you using toys before, so…  Way to go on another great entry!

Heh, no, I imagine most don’t. But that’s the thrill of erotica no? Bring the fantasy to life. 

And thank ye. I think it might be my first main use of toys, but I can’t imagine I’ve -never- used em before. Glad you enjoyed.

[Tcr]

12 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:

I’m, really not entirely sure what you mean here. I don’t think your own italics went in, and I’m not sure what commas you’re referring to.

Apparently the Italics didn't...  Damn...  Anyway...  This is what I meant by them:

 ""It is not just a uniform, and like it or not, you are not just an officer. Your battlefields are far behind you for the time being Ms. Blackburn."

could be:

 ""It is not just a uniform, and like it or not, you are not just an officer. Your battlefields are far behind you for the time being Ms. Blackburn."

As for the commas, to use the above example, as "Ms. Blackburn" is the addressee, there should be a comma before (ie Your battlefields are far behind you for the time being, Ms. Blackburn).  

But, those small things aside, it was a great read!  If you continue it, even with prompts, I look forward to it. 

[Sinfulwolf]

Fair nuff. I felt the words themselves brought enough emphasis, but I suppose I could put some more ommph into it.

And I did not know that particular rule about dialogue. I just use comma’s for a pause…. I usually throw a lot of grammar rules out the window with dialogue anyway. Just due to the way people speak. But… I suppose good to know.

[Sinfulwolf]

A review for Pressed Violet from @InvidiaRed

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Simply Beautiful <3

Its always a treat when you upload.

Awww, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it, I had a lot of fun writing it.

[Sinfulwolf]

A review for Heretic from @InvidiaRed

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The world is shit, because no one wants to shovel it-Maelice

 

By far my favorite line <3 Second favorite 

"My sin is not pride, Sister Maelice, I can admit when I am beaten.” By far the most dangerous one of the bunch.

With a name like that I kinda feel like she was destined to become an Anti-Nun. The lore is delight, Look up The Vampire Huntress. Its the closest to this flavor you've concocted. The acknowledgement that the world is dreadfully gray.

I really enjoyed that line myself from Maelice, and creating the antagonist was great fun. I wanted him to seem dangerous, intelligent, and truly someone to beware of. I think I hit the mark there.

As to the name, I was searching through Breton Celtic names and came across Maelice, and I loved it. It’s closeness to Malice certainly helped fit the setting and the character as well.

I’ll have to look up The Vampire Huntress as well… is it on this site?

[InvidiaRed]

12 hours ago, Sinfulwolf said:

I’ll have to look up The Vampire Huntress as well… is it on this site?

its a DBComix.

 

 

[Sinfulwolf]

Then I will certainly have to find it!

[Sinfulwolf]

@GeorgeGlass called my out rightfully for not replying to his comment, while I was being pouty face in another thread. So take that Sin!!

 

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This was a nice bit of fun. I like that Anna and James don't necessarily like each other but can't resist each other sexually. But the real kicker is good-girl Penny (perfect choice of name for a mousy bookworm, BTW) getting drawn into their shenanigans. It's like the sex is a force unto itself, pulling in anyone who comes too close.

I just wanted to write a pure smutty mc smut tale. And I think I succeeded. I wanted a bit of rivalry that stirred in a lot of sexual tension for these two, just to have some fun in a library setting. Thank ye kindly for the review!!