SirGeneralSir Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 when is the best time to use the odd little sounds people make when X is happening to them? sounds like “Cooed/Cooing” how is it best used? Quote
JayDee Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 If you’re ever writing a Hatoful Boyfriend fanfic, pretty much constantly for the cooing. Quote
CloverReef Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 Oh I like sound words like cooed. Of course if every bit of dialogue is tagged with them and every action is responded with them, it’ll get distracting. Personally, I probably overuse them a touch and don’t use the he said/she said nearly enough to make the tags functional yet disappeary, but that’s my jam. In my humble opinion, cooed and any other sound word should be used when they have the most impact. When no other word would suffice to paint the scene the way you see it in your head. A baby falls off a table or something, the mother rushes to it and coos to try to comfort it. And well yelps, screams, moans, groans, sighs, squeaks, shrieks, are usually best reserved for pain, puns, and naughtiness, and those are really the only sound words I can think of off the top of my head, because that’s just the kinda person I am. InvidiaRed 1 Quote
Desiderius Price Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 Sound words, I kinda use like a spice, here and there, peppered about. I’ll typically do them on their own line, like dialogue, because it is, in a way, dialogue. For instance, flushing a toilet, I might just put in “FLUSH!” Because, well, that’d invoke the proper image, without having to have a character announce they’re flushing, or write “The toilet was flushed”…. or the like. I mean, if a character’s in the bathroom, and a “FLUSH” occurs, you can generally guess who flushed it. Quote
InvidiaRed Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 9 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said: when is the best time to use the odd little sounds people make when X is happening to them? sounds like “Cooed/Cooing” how is it best used? Depends on how vocal the people are in flagrante delicto. Cooing is more comforting baby talk/pet talk Quote
InvidiaRed Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 9 hours ago, JayDee said: If you’re ever writing a Hatoful Boyfriend fanfic, pretty much constantly for the cooing. Such a thing exists? Quote
JayDee Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 18 minutes ago, InvidiaRed said: Such a thing exists? If could do, if someone wrote it! Quote
pippychick Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 I think I probably tend to overuse these kinds of descriptors a lot. I also use a lot of ‘he said’ ‘she said’ and I go into describing exactly how things are said sometimes. I can’t help it. I hear things more easily than I see them. For me a scene might have a collection of vivid imagery, but an extremely consistent soundtrack. I don’t know if it’s something to do with being musical besides being a writer. Character voices are usually crystal clear to me, which is why I’m probably still dawdling around writing fanfic after all this time. I don’t know… it’s really hard to judge yourself, no matter how many times you read over it. But, as to the original question, it should feel natural. If the character is making a sound in your mind at that point in the story, write it out, and my advice for what it’s worth is don’t skimp. This isn’t just noise. Sound is one of the textures that makes up our lives. It’s just as important as any of the other senses, especially when it’s an intimate situation. If you can, don’t just leave it there. If character A whispers, how does that affect character B? Are they close enough to feel it, as well as hear it? Use sound. Use it to bring your readers in, so that they’re with the characters, with everything that’s happening. I don’t know how else to put it. I kind of wish I knew how to deconstruct it properly like an English teacher or something, but I don’t. If it’s happening in your mind, write it. CloverReef 1 Quote
Desiderius Price Posted October 21, 2017 Report Posted October 21, 2017 I tend to forget some of those senses as I write. Taste, smell, and touch are less written about, than vision (primary) or sound (secondary). So, yeah, write in sounds, that does help stories, IMO. And, don’t forget to smell, taste, and touch … depends on what you’re writing, I suppose. If you’ve got a pile of crap, skip the description, we all know what it’s like. CloverReef 1 Quote
SirGeneralSir Posted October 22, 2017 Author Report Posted October 22, 2017 humm ok so example wise. you have a character thats been fucked really REALLY good, he/she is exhausted and the other person that fucked them into bliss, prompts for another round. the one that got fucked,would ( ) their pleased but firm no. I thought that Cooed or even Purred would have been good, but because these are sound words, I am not sure that I can place them correctly. thoughts? Quote
Desiderius Price Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 Purred? These are cat people, Khajit or similar? I’d tend to write it more like dialogue, treating the action/sound as any other spoken line. So…. for example... Quote He touched her butt. Slap! … Coo! (pick your sound) “Sorry,” he said, pulling back. Quote
CloverReef Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 I dunno, personally I think purr sounds better in that situation than coo, but there are some differences in what is hot depending on your target audience. A faint smile flitted across her face at the feel of a nudge. She twisted a little to look down between them, then dropped back to the mattress with a happy sigh/purr. “Oh God, please put that away!” For an example of how I’d write it in. I tend to use Desiderius’ way when something’s very dramatic or sudden. Desiderius Price 1 Quote
Desiderius Price Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 I’ve taken to starting stories with a sound. For example, using “Drip...Drip...Drip” for The Repair Guy. Dunno a good reason, it just gets things across to the reader, engaging another part of the mind as you keep reading the story. Quote
CloverReef Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said: I’ve taken to starting stories with a sound. For example, using “Drip...Drip...Drip” for The Repair Guy. Dunno a good reason, it just gets things across to the reader, engaging another part of the mind as you keep reading the story. I think it’s a good way to start a story. Adds that flare of drama right off the bat. Quote
Desiderius Price Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, CloverReef said: I think it’s a good way to start a story. Adds that flare of drama right off the bat. Having him show up in his underwear helps too, but yeah, the dripping added a nice touch. CloverReef 1 Quote
SirGeneralSir Posted October 22, 2017 Author Report Posted October 22, 2017 purred ive seen work as when someone lets out a pleased …. hum? most of all related to sex. cooed had kind of confused me because as said above, its used to make children feel better but ive also seen it used for sexual acts too but not sure how to convey it correctly. Quote
CloverReef Posted October 22, 2017 Report Posted October 22, 2017 4 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said: purred ive seen work as when someone lets out a pleased …. hum? most of all related to sex. cooed had kind of confused me because as said above, its used to make children feel better but ive also seen it used for sexual acts too but not sure how to convey it correctly. Cooed, to me, is a little less sexy and a little more doting. So I could still use it in a sex scene, though it would be reserved for quieter or teasing moments when one character is kinda treating the other like a child or something cute. Purr is easier to make sexy, because it’s naturally more animalistic. Quote
SirGeneralSir Posted October 23, 2017 Author Report Posted October 23, 2017 indeed. so after mind blowing sex, indicating that while she might enjoy a …..8th? round of it, would purr to decline? “you fucked my dry, I couldnt take another round with you” she purred. ??? CloverReef 1 Quote
CloverReef Posted October 23, 2017 Report Posted October 23, 2017 10 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said: indeed. so after mind blowing sex, indicating that while she might enjoy a …..8th? round of it, would purr to decline? “you fucked my dry, I couldnt take another round with you” she purred. ??? Absolutely, I think a purr would work there. Makes it sound like she’s very pleased. Quote
CloverReef Posted October 24, 2017 Report Posted October 24, 2017 6 hours ago, Desiderius Price said: If it were me, I’d make sure the `purring’ is more figurative in the portrayal, less literal, because unless you’re talking about a cat race, somebody ate one, or has other issues. (Maybe a cloning experiment gone wrong?) Or…. a potter fanfic after Hermione has her polyjuice accident. I think it’s implied that it’s figurative. To me, anyway. But I think animalistic words make sex scenes feel more carnal. Does that word bug you in sex scenes, and is it just ‘purr’ or do words like ‘bark’ or ‘growl’ or ‘hiss’ apply too? There are words that bug me, either because they make it harder to take the scene seriously or because they just rub me the wrong way. Like ‘rod’ lol. But I don’t see that one often in m/m so I guess I’m lucky lol. Quote
SirGeneralSir Posted October 24, 2017 Author Report Posted October 24, 2017 its just normal girls, so how would you make it sound more figurative than literal? Quote
CloverReef Posted October 24, 2017 Report Posted October 24, 2017 I would agree to completely disagree with DP on this one. A metaphor or simile would likely take me out of the scene if it’s tacked onto just a purr. But admittedly, I’m not your target audience, so DP may very well know better than me. Quote
pippychick Posted October 24, 2017 Report Posted October 24, 2017 Quote “...I couldnt take another round with you” she purred. “...I couldn’t take another round with you,” she said, and her voice was a quiet purr of sound, full of satisfaction. It made him feel… blah blah blah… Obviously, I am from the school of: why use one word when ten will do? But I do feel that putting it that way leads nicely into the next thought in the paragraph, which for me is how the male pov character would respond to what she said, and how she said it. BronxWench and CloverReef 2 Quote
SirGeneralSir Posted October 24, 2017 Author Report Posted October 24, 2017 @_@ soo many choices now. I think something shorter than what you showed there pippy would be more my taste. <She said in a purring voice>? <She quietly purred>? <Her satisfied voice purred>? Quote
CloverReef Posted October 24, 2017 Report Posted October 24, 2017 2 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said: @_@ soo many choices now. I think something shorter than what you showed there pippy would be more my taste. <She said in a purring voice>? <She quietly purred>? <Her satisfied voice purred>? I like all three of those options. The middle one I like best because it’s impactful (paints the action perfectly) and concise. Indicative of a talent with word economy. And I like Pippy’s option for a totally different reason, because she has such a fascinating way with words that I could never pull off. Somehow she manages to do it without coming off as ‘wordy’. pippychick and BronxWench 2 Quote
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