Need your ideas re: a sex-comedy story I'm working on

[GeorgeGlass]

I'm in need of some input from your creative minds.

More than a year ago, I started to write a dark sex comedy called “Dil-Drones.” The premise is that in the not-so-distant future, the computer system at a large mail-order company becomes self-aware. DelNet is programmed to maximize customer satisfaction, but the only sources of information it has on which to act are customer feedback and behavior, which frequently conflict, and the Internet, which is loaded with porn.

The story begins with a woman who is reading a romance novel on a relatively deserted part of the beach when she realizes that she is out of sunblock. Rather than hiking back to her car and then schlepping to a store to get more, she uses her phone to order it. Long story short, a delivery drone arrives with her sunblock, detects the cutaneous temperature changes associated with sexual arousal, and uses the new attachments given it by DelNet to maximize the customer's satisfaction.

So that part of the story is already written. The problem arises in the next part: In my original conception of the story, the drone begins its flight back to the distribution center when some kid throws a rock at it. The hit jostles a loose wire and causes a momentary short that erases part of the drone’s temperature-reading program. As a result, when the drone looks at the people on the beach with its infrared camera, it fails to factor out the ambient temperature and informs DelNet that the dozens of beachgoers are all in a state of sexual arousal. DelNet recognizes many of these people as its customers and dispatches a squadron of sex-toy-equipped drones to satisfy them.

This is where the problem arises, because that scenario just seems too rapey to fit with the light tone of the story up to that point. But I want to do something that involves multiple drones and multiple humans having public sex on the beach (resulting in a scandal for the company that DelNet serves).

Any thoughts?

[DirtyAngel]

maybe a sort of sex toy airdrop? instead of the drones screwing the customers they just drop sex toys...or he floods the beach with a chemical that causes everyone to have irresistible urges for sex, sort of a chemically induced orgy

[BronxWench]

I like the idea of an aphrodisiac being delivered, actually.

[pippychick]

It would take longer, but I can imagine one of these drone things being used - in public - for that purpose, leading to a kind of fad or craze on a specific beach. So that people begin to turn up for the specific purpose of having sexual contact with a drone. Kind of like a phenomenon, like dogging. I could easily imagine that making the papers. It would inspire moral outrage, and also curiosity, feeding on itself.

Of course, that could also be used in the story as a kind of dilemma for the company, if the goings on at the beach have resulted in an increased customer base and associated revenue.

[FairySlayer]

Talk about the ultimate computerized fulfillment system!

Anyway, I like the suggestions so far, especially DirtyAngel & BronxWench's idea that it could distribute aphrodisiacs (perhaps embedded in sunblock, drinks, etc. because it thinks that's what people want Hell! It knows that people want sex but just doesn't understand all this repression business).

dafdes makes a great point too, though I can already imagine that after a few months of that the Daleks would happen to pick that very beach for their invasion fleet to land and demand total surrender.

Best of luck on it, and as always I'd be happy to beta (if you aren't considering replacing me with a certain Nurse with a much sexier imagination ).

[DirtyAngel]

Oh and later on the computer destroys all clothes since they just get in the way of "fulfillment" an idea I completely support by the way

Might get a bit chilly in places but sacrifices must be made

[Desiderius Price]

Ohh.... think about the pranks somebody could play on their buddies too.... order the friend a sex toy/sunlotion to be delivered (public/private, depends on the friendship or lack thereof)

[GeorgeGlass]

Wow--this was very helpful. I had considered the aphrodisiac idea before but dismissed it because it didn't fit with the whole misreading-body-temperature glitch idea. But now you've got me thinking about other ways to make it work--and about the fallout from the whole beach orgy. Thanks, all!

[DirtyAngel]

I wanna live in your world...oops, did I type that out loud?

[GeorgeGlass]

Yeah, I want to live in my world, too. But I'm stuck in this one.