AFF's Deck the Shoutbox 2015 Reviews

[ChrissyQuinn]

Here is a place to discuss the stories in AFF's Deck the Shoutbox 2015!

Link: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108028

[BronxWench]

I'll start it off!

The Frost Effect

I absolutely loved this story, KoKoa! I love your Frost, and Kris is pretty damned hot, too. And there's nothing like a little romance in the air to make the holiday season bright. You have such a lovely way of making me see the scene, too, and that's a marvelous gift.

Mistletoe Hanging

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, wow, Des! Very powerful story. It begins with such a sweet and familiar premise, a winter holiday dance, and then, wham! Your world erupts in the sort of conflict you excel at portraying. Beautifully done!

[Desiderius Price]

The Frost Effect

Great! Nice and lighthearted.

Yule's Gift

Deep, rich. Good reading.

[BronxWench]

Des, thank you! I like the old legends, and I like playing around with them a bit.

[KoKoa_B]

The Frost Effect:

It's a good thing this story was first; you made it so much easier for the other stories to be better than this thing. Did that child in your profile pic write this...? Tell her that it was good for her first try and that she'll get better at this thing when she gets older. This sorry excuse of a story left me feeling nothing. You could've put a hell of a lot more detail in this than you did; it felt rushed and just... just no. Don't quit your day job, honey...

Yule's Gift:

{Psst... author of that first crap story: take lessons from this author...}

Bronxie, I meant to tell you from your last one shot for the Halloween one but that was a-fucking-mazing! You really know how to capture a scene to the point where I literally felt Derwen's heartache and determination to attempt to change ritual. Words cannot truly express how much I loved that story. It pulled at almost all of your emotions.

Mistletoe Hanging

O_O I mean, I saw the warnings. I really did. But I wasn't expecting that! I was a bit lost but things came to light after a while. I imagine that even though this is a flashback, I would've had a better understanding of the characters if I would've read your book. It was like a teaser with the characters you introduced: I was all ready to get to know them better but then mayhem happened! I will admit that reading the last part of it gave me an uneasy feeling but like Bronx said, you described it in great details.

[KoKoa_B]

I'll start it off!

The Frost Effect

I absolutely loved this story, KoKoa! I love your Frost, and Kris is pretty damned hot, too. And there's nothing like a little romance in the air to make the holiday season bright. You have such a lovely way of making me see the scene, too, and that's a marvelous gift.

Mistletoe Hanging

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, wow, Des! Very powerful story. It begins with such a sweet and familiar premise, a winter holiday dance, and then, wham! Your world erupts in the sort of conflict you excel at portraying. Beautifully done!

Funny that you thought that Kris was hot! LOL after I wrote this, a part of me wanted to turn it into an actual story. That way, readers would get a better description of him in a later chapter. But, yes; the plan is to make him attractive and not so... "jolly"!

I am still trying to describe my scenes better than I have in the past so that meant a lot to me; thank you!

The Frost Effect

Great! Nice and lighthearted.

Yule's Gift

Deep, rich. Good reading.

Thanks! I figured that I got all of that violence out of my system from last time!

[Desiderius Price]

Thanks to KoKoa_B and BronxWench for the reviews so far. Yeah, I was having to write that as backstory for the current book/story I'm working on, so it wasn't much to polish it off and make it one of my holiday one-shots.

[BronxWench]

Auld Lang Syne

Another sweet and lovely story! I can actually empathize a great deal with Jamila and that awful sense of holiday blahs. Sometimes all the enforced merriment is enough to make me want to hide on a cold porch, too.

But let me tell you what I loved about this story. You took a kiss and turned it into this utterly wonderful, sweet awakening, and even though they didn't manage to get past the kiss (not for lack of desire, mind you!), it was still a beautiful consummation of new feelings. A new year is a beginning, and Jamila and Cory are definitely beginning something special.

Thank you for this treat of a story!

And thank you, KoKoa, for the lovely review. I really was always intrigued by the way the Holly King and Oak King change places at the Solstices, and being me, I had to poke it. I'm sure the gods will kick my butt at some point for this one, but it was too good to pass up. I'm glad Derwen's heartache came through. I thought it made more sense to have him be the one who had gotten sick of the endless cycle, although he presides over the winter months as well.

[BronxWench]

And more reviews!

A Very Cliched Christmas

I'm not even sure where to begin, so let's just say that I'm still giggling. When you set out to hit every slash cliche, you certainly mean it, including the dreaded MPreg! I'm even willing to forgive the anal cervix, though, because this was abso-fucking-lutely, brilliantly funny. My Santa hat is off to you for one of the most delightful parodies ever to tickle the pixels of my monitor. And it'll be all your fault that I sit up all Christmas Eve, hoping to snag one of those pretty reindeer.

The Phone, Part II

Oh, Des, yet another absorbing and slightly disturbing look into your dystopia. It's such a complex world, but there are still certain truths that hold for humanity, no matter what, and you bring those out so well. No matter what, remembering those lost is always going to be one of our very human traits. Of course, sometimes the tables are turned, as you have done in this story. Thank you!

[CL Mustafic]

And more reviews!

A Very Cliched Christmas

I'm not even sure where to begin, so let's just say that I'm still giggling. When you set out to hit every slash cliche, you certainly mean it, including the dreaded MPreg! I'm even willing to forgive the anal cervix, though, because this was abso-fucking-lutely, brilliantly funny. My Santa hat is off to you for one of the most delightful parodies ever to tickle the pixels of my monitor. And it'll be all your fault that I sit up all Christmas Eve, hoping to snag one of those pretty reindeer.

Oh no! You of all people should not be encouraging this type of madness! I was counting on you to come back with something like "It was an absolute mess. Hard to read and the bit about the anal cervix made me gag!". How could you BronxWench. *shakes head and goes back to writing the follow up New Year's story while plotting out Peter O'Hare's return for an Easter story* See what you've done!

On a serious note, glad I could make you giggle and I got dibs on Comet!

[JayDee]

Hella busy, but hope to read and review at least some of 'em as soon as!

[CL Mustafic]

Okay, finally got time to read a couple (has nothing to do with the fact that DA finally posted her fic )

The Frost Effect:

Wow KoKoa! I had no idea such a short story with just a conversation could be so good. I really liked it and can't wait to read your other one. (Sorry I read a couple and then skipped ahead a bit but I'll get to all of them soon.)

Mistletoe Hanging

I already told you what I thought of this story but just so everyone else knows, I found it somewhat chilling and knowing how Ernest turns out, this story explains a lot. Good job DP!

Yule's Gift

BronxWench, what can I say? Of course it was brilliantly written as usual so I'll let the fact that it made me feel melancholy go. It seems you and holiday death stories go well together, at least in this one they come back.

Santa's Rosy Cheeks

LOL DA, I am still laughing. It's hard to pick what I liked best about this one. The drunk, reindeer/elf eating dragons? The Assmaster 3000 (how did you know that's what I asked for when I was 12?)? The carousing Santa getting his due? The Yeti that seemed vaguely familiar? Nope it has to be the pixie queen of course! Next year I'm making hubby dress up like Santa...

Edited December 26, 2015 by CL Mustafic

[BronxWench]

Santa's Rosy Cheeks

You had me at the drunken dragons pulling Santa's sleigh (nudges foe because we WOULD do that) and kept me giggling as you introduced your merry cast of characters, with all their delightful eccentricities. You have a marvelous gift for comedic writing, and I was giggling the entire time I was reading, at least until I burst out in delighted laughter. I really don't think I can even point to one bit and say, "This was my favorite!" because each time I thought I'd found a favorite bit, I read on and IT GOT BETTER!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And CL, thank you! Sorry to have made you melancholy, though. Sadly, I'm not a very cheerful writer lately, although I managed a happier than usual ending. The whole polarity thing between the Holly King and the Oak King always intrigued me, because whoever had the bright idea that the seasonal swing should be marked by death? Eh, we weren't as afraid of death back then, I suppose. It was just part of the dance. But let's see if I can manage something less gloomy the next time, although I'm not even going to try to compete with you and DA for the comedy crown. You two are way too good at that!

[DirtyAngel]

aww thanks Bronx, glad you liked it, it was fun to write, giggled a lot myself.

Glad you liked it, I seem to be making you my antagonist a lot , oh and the pixie queen is everyone's favorite oh and hubby santa is fun I actually missed playing dress up, I don't fit in my slutty elf costume

[JayDee]

I haven't forgotten! Still hoping to get some comments out.

The Frost Effect by Kokoa_B

Jackie seemed a very likeable character! It seemed more of a prologue - is there going to be a further story coming? Does southern hemisphere Summer have a different relationship with Kris? Xmas right in the middle there Good start though!

[JayDee]

Yule's Gift by BronxWench

I greatly enjoyed the erotica at the start, you're pretty much the expert at M/M screwing. It had a good contrast with the later sex, where he's fucking 'cos he has too, but the love isn't there, just the hate. She's earning his ire though, what with getting all aroused with his obvious dislike. Or is it just that she has a job to do and no more control over it than him, and so makes the best of it? I liked the rest of the story, too, it's a good way to tell of the changing seasons and I could picture it well from the descriptions!

I think they're lucky though, living in the temperate climate. Think about the season who has to get wet for months at a time! (No, not Scottish Summer).

Reminded me of this -

Dunno why. Probably just the Oak King reference. I'm pretty simple minded tbh.

[KoKoa_B]

I haven't forgotten! Still hoping to get some comments out.

The Frost Effect by Kokoa_B

Jackie seemed a very likeable character! It seemed more of a prologue - is there going to be a further story coming? Does southern hemisphere Summer have a different relationship with Kris? Xmas right in the middle there Good start though!

Thanks, Jay! Yeah, it really is a prologue! It was actually done for a writing prompt on Deviant Art; the prompt was to put personalities behind the seasons. I've thought about continuing but whenever I get an idea for a story that's different from fan fiction, my muse refuses to cooperate!

Of course, Summer wouldn't like Kris because there aren't too many who don't like Christmas! She's especially not particular with that saying Christmas in July! XD

[KoKoa_B]

Okay, finally got time to read a couple (has nothing to do with the fact that DA finally posted her fic )

The Frost Effect:

Wow KoKoa! I had no idea such a short story with just a conversation could be so good. I really liked it and can't wait to read your other one. (Sorry I read a couple and then skipped ahead a bit but I'll get to all of them soon.)

Aw, thanks! (although I could've sworn that I responded... guess not... )

[KoKoa_B]

Auld Lang Syne

Another sweet and lovely story! I can actually empathize a great deal with Jamila and that awful sense of holiday blahs. Sometimes all the enforced merriment is enough to make me want to hide on a cold porch, too.

But let me tell you what I loved about this story. You took a kiss and turned it into this utterly wonderful, sweet awakening, and even though they didn't manage to get past the kiss (not for lack of desire, mind you!), it was still a beautiful consummation of new feelings. A new year is a beginning, and Jamila and Cory are definitely beginning something special.

Thank you for this treat of a story!

And thank you, KoKoa, for the lovely review. I really was always intrigued by the way the Holly King and Oak King change places at the Solstices, and being me, I had to poke it. I'm sure the gods will kick my butt at some point for this one, but it was too good to pass up. I'm glad Derwen's heartache came through. I thought it made more sense to have him be the one who had gotten sick of the endless cycle, although he presides over the winter months as well.

*sighs* Again, I thought I already commented... my brain needs help...

I guess it shows that I really, really, really enjoy seduction if anything else! I'm glad you enjoyed that one as well!

[BronxWench]

Yule's Gift by BronxWench

I greatly enjoyed the erotica at the start, you're pretty much the expert at M/M screwing. It had a good contrast with the later sex, where he's fucking 'cos he has too, but the love isn't there, just the hate. She's earning his ire though, what with getting all aroused with his obvious dislike. Or is it just that she has a job to do and no more control over it than him, and so makes the best of it? I liked the rest of the story, too, it's a good way to tell of the changing seasons and I could picture it well from the descriptions!

I think they're lucky though, living in the temperate climate. Think about the season who has to get wet for months at a time! (No, not Scottish Summer).

Reminded me of this -

Dunno why. Probably just the Oak King reference. I'm pretty simple minded tbh.

Thank you, JD! Damn, you always manage to make me feel like I know what I'm doing (as opposed to my usual seat of the pants style of writing). I felt sort of bad for Derwen because he really didn't have much good sex at all in this, did he? First the punishment sex from Celyn, and then the punishment sex from the bitch Goddess. It'd be enough to turn me off the whole notion, but fortunately Derwen's made of sterner stuff.

I loved the song, by the way. I need to listen to more of their music. It's a good sound.

[JayDee]

His heart was a bloody ruin, but his ass just ached. It could have been worse for him if it was the other way round!

[BronxWench]

True enough!

I'm not very nice to my characters lately. Hm.

[pippychick]

I only have a couple of reviews to add here, since I haven't read them all. But I hope to get around to some more soon.

The Frost Effect

I'm in awe at how you've not only turned all of our modern 'Hallmark' universe on its head, but then gone and made it up into an entirely new mythology. In so few words! It's as if you've ripped a skirt suit to pieces and made a ballgown.

I love the characters who are present in this, and I am intrigued by those who are mentioned, especially Jackie's father, Old Man Winter. This is really amazing writing, Kokoa_B. Thank you for sharing it!

Maybe you will give us an update at Easter...?

Yule's Gift

Bronx, if I had to list all the things I adore about this, my review would be longer than the story. I love the old Oak King/Holly King legend, and, being more fond of winter than summer, I've had my own little daydreams of the Holly King from time to time. If I had to pick an author I trust to do them justice, then it would be you, because I've read your Ghost books.

For me, you got him so exactly right. I love the madness running through the whole, and the violence, with the tenderness a perfect counterpoint. The contrast is stunning. But in that it echoes the legend itself, and that's beyond clever.

The King is dead! Long live the King! Excellent writing!

[BronxWench]

Dafdes, you are going to make my head swell at this rate! But thank you, so much!

The old tales are very much alive for me, and that is one that's always resonated. The death and rebirth theme just suits the way I feel about the swing of the year, and all gods should be mad. It's not fun otherwise. I'm sl glad you think I've done them justice, our mad things.