She is the One

[that-one-guy]

Started playing the first one today, I like it so far. The idea behind it seems good and the mechanic of having to shoot of the limbs is great. Normally with shooters I'm a spray and pray haha.

Side note, 2000th post!

[that-one-guy]

I stayed up till 1am for that. I need sleep...

[Guest Bill]

Dude. I miss happy, sexy Kayla. I hope she comes back soon. I understand she's dealing with a lot of emotional stuff between her parents and her actions with Jack. I hope that Kayla and Jack talk things out with the psychologist. Maybe then Kayla could suggest her parents do the same thing. Kayla also needs to meet Rhona and see that she's really not a threat. Maybe when school starts, Rhona's brother Brian could give Kayla some insight into how weird she is. Reading these last few chapters have been emotionally draining. I attribute that to Joe's vanity to tell a story and the connection I have with the characters. I'm looking forward to Jack/Kayla working things out and then getting to the lighthearted chapters that were eluded to earlier. Whatever you do Joe, keep up the great work.

[Guest Bill]

ABSOLUTELY LOVE AUTOCORRECT. About should have said Joe's ability to tell a story. Not vanity. MEH!!!!

[Guest BeepBoop]

I really hope this is the chapter where their relationship is finally at a standing-point. We need some negativity in here. After Walburns death Jacks been living pretty much the perfect life and it's getting a bit too fairy-tale ish in the ways him and Kayla are basically in perfect relationship. (Of course the threesome has been brewing some of this up and hopefully this is the calm before the storm).

[Guest JohnnyBanana]

Haven't read the chapter but this thought occurred to me at work. I was gonna give it a go at writing it but I'll leave that to the more accomplished than I. I'll just lay this stuff out here.

Kayla's dad wants to talk to Jack. They have their conversation and the next day Kayla gets a call from her dad. They're getting a divorce. Chester tells his daughter everything about what's going on and when she and Jack are alone next she tells him. He's petrified and there's only one thing on his mind..he asks her if it's his fault. She nods her head. She tells him what her dad told her. About when he asked Jack how he felt when he sees Kayla, how he feels about her in general. Turns out Chester has never felt that way about his wife and it's the same with Hannah. It's a peaceful divorce. At the same time, on hearing how Jack feels about her coming from her dad, Kayla lets go of all the stuff bothering her. She's with the man she's going to marry. ATOM BOMB EVERYBODY DIES. THE END.

[Joe Long]

I stayed up till 1am for that. I need sleep...

EDT +5

[Guest Dark]

Dumbest boss in dark souls 2: the twin dragonriders. Anti-climatic for drangleic castle. Also throw in the throne defender and throne watcher. Fqiled attempt at ornstein and smough duplicate.

[Guest No_One]

Just tried dipping my pizza in ranch and oh my lord! Jack is not kidding. It is amazing.

[Guest Stephen]

I'm really looking forward to a happier Jack & Kayla. I had to read this chapter in a few sittings because it kept bringing me down.

Jashley is an amazing author. He makes me care for the characters, and want them to be happy.

I felt worse about the events in this chapter than what happened to Mika in Magusfangs SITG

[Joe Long]

Just tried dipping my pizza in ranch and oh my lord! Jack is not kidding. It is amazing.

I asked my daughter if she did that and she said yes

Edited July 15, 2015 by Joe Long

[Guest BingeReader]

Love your story I've been reading it non stop at home and at work every chance I get. I'm from the other site as well and so glad you found somewhere to continue this great story!

[Guest Jason]

What I love so much about this story other than the characters. I mean come on it's so hard to not fall in love with Kayla and Tara. It's the real life consequences. Through all the chapters it's not one of those let's all have a threesome and live happily ever. Kayla being ok with it then realizing she wasn't. It shows real emotions. This story has quickly become my favorite and I'm not sure how often you add stories but I can't wait until the next one. This last chapter was a little hard with someone as sweet as Kayla having that breakdown. Looking forward to seeing how everything is going to play out

[Guest Dark]

Brutally murdered the Fume Knight. Took about four, five tries. He fell to my magic claymore in the end.

[Joe Long]

I've mentioned too many times here over the months about my story, so I just want to say go check out the 'Promote a Story' forum to find a link to the first two chapters. Hope yunz enjoy

[thismy]

Ah, I'm back. I was really pressed for time before I left, so I made the mistake of trying to skim a chapter like this. Yeah, it didn't go well. I spent the last week trying to sort things out in my brain, but I need more structure. I'm off to read the chapter for real now.

[thismy]

I really hope this is the chapter where their relationship is finally at a standing-point. We need some negativity in here. After Walburns death Jacks been living pretty much the perfect life and it's getting a bit too fairy-tale ish in the ways him and Kayla are basically in perfect relationship. (Of course the threesome has been brewing some of this up and hopefully this is the calm before the storm).

Lol.

[Guest D]

Is there a Word Count on the story so far per chance?

Also, I've been reading and waiting on installments ever since Chapter 8 or 9 I believe. I absolutely love this story, keep it coming Jashley!

[Joe Long]

Is there a Word Count on the story so far per chance?

I might not have saved it, but a chapter or two ago I added them up and is was around 700k total. Look back thru the page son this forum, I posted a word count for each chapter.

I looked back for you, and will repost it here

Each saga is equivalent to a standard length novel, so 'Summer' could be considered the 5th book in the series

(thousands of words)

Kara Saga 117.6

1 10.7

2 14.9

3 14.6

4 11.8

5 12.1

6 17.0

7 17.2

8 19.3

Jessica Saga 131.4

9 17.0

10 16.4

11 17.4

12 20.2

13 19.7

14 17.8

15 22.9

Tara Saga 137.1

16 17.7

17 18.2

18 23.8

19 18.1

20 21.1

21 19.3

22 18.9

Twins Saga 149.1

23 16.4

24 21.6

25 28.6

26 19.9

27 24.8

28 37.8

Summer Saga 203.9 (and counting)

29 22.8

30 27.5

31 25.3

32 33.5

33 32.7

34 31.6

35 30.5

total 739.1

Edited July 18, 2015 by Joe Long

[Guest Byakkou]

Well if this is correst, it's impressive. For comparaison the entire Harry potter serie is ~1081k words

Harry Potter Books
Philosopher’s Stone – 77,325
Chamber of Secrets – 84,799
Prisoner of Azkaban – 106,821
Goblet of Fire – 190,858
Order of the Phoenix – 257,154
Half Blood Prince – 169,441
Deathly Hallows – 198,227

Lord of the Rings
The Hobbit – 95,022
The Lord of the Rings – 455,125
The Two Towers – 143,436
The Return of the King – 134,462

[Mr_Fairplay]

I really hope this is the chapter where their relationship is finally at a standing-point. We need some negativity in here. After Walburns death Jacks been living pretty much the perfect life and it's getting a bit too fairy-tale ish in the ways him and Kayla are basically in perfect relationship. (Of course the threesome has been brewing some of this up and hopefully this is the calm before the storm).

Good, Good, Let the hate flow through you...

[Jashley13]

Hey everyone! Update time!

So I've been plowing through Chapter 36, trying to get it out in time for my birthday. Kind of my birthday gift to all of you. I'm hoping it's out before then but, if not, I definitely want to get it out the day itself, especially since Jack and I share birthday So that's the best timeline I can give you for right now.

Anyway, onto the Reality Check:

- The awkward drive home is reminiscent of so many awkward drives I've had with family and friends. It's always fine if we're in a comfortable silence but awkward silence? Makes the car ride three times as long.

- I worry very much the same way as Jack when I'm waiting to hear back from someone. I check my phone every few seconds, certain that I felt a vibration. It's gotten to the point where I'll feel a tremor in my leg, just because I'm so desperate to hear back from whoever I was texting.

- Jack's tense conversation with his father is very similar to tense conversations I've had with my own father. In fact, I think I may have taken it verbatim from an argument we had, just changing the context a bit.

- Jack 'warming up' to Rhona is very much how I myself warmed up to her real-life counterpart. For me, it was a bit more gradual than Jack, but since there is so much more to work through, I figured that dragging it out was probably not the best plan, especially since I don't want things too cluttered in the coming future.

- Jack's argument with Kayla was, I hate to say it, modeled after some arguments I've had with my wife. The ones with my wife were not as severe as the one between Jack and Kayla but I still had her read it and give her permission before I posted it, just to make sure she was okay with it.

And now for Bad Idea Confessional:

- When Amanda was seducing Jack by having him handcuffed to the bed, I was originally going to have Kayla see it and it was going to drive a wedge between them. I dropped it for a couple reasons. First, everybody was already suggesting it and I wanted to do something a little more unexpected. Second, I felt it was too cliché and wouldn't make sense given how I'd already laid out their rooms and I'd have to come up with a plausible reason why Kayla would look out at that exact moment...it was just too much. I scrapped the idea for the better, I think, and Kayla is still unaware of what Amanda did to Jack...so far.

Working as hard as I can on Chapter 36 and I'm hoping it turns out as well as I need it to. This is one where everything kind of comes to a head and I really hope it lives up to expectations.

See you guys soon!

[thismy]

Off topic writing related problem.

I love setting. I mean, I really love setting. When I'm writing a story (of which I'm writing multiple right now) I have a few places where my characters spend most of their time. I.e. their house, school, cabin, camp, ect. And when I'm writing a story, often times I feel like I go into excruciating detail with regards to the physical setting.

I have a set in my mind, and I describe it. But I feel as though the set takes up to much space. However, when I go back to clean up the description, I find it hard to remove much of anything. For example, for Jim Bob to go into the living room, I feel like I need to say where the room is in comparison with the rest of the house, how big it is, how it's set up, and so on and so forth. If I don't, I feel like my story lacks a certain quality. But when I do, there seems to be too much of that quality.

So here's my question: Writers, how do you deal with setting? How do you set the scene for the reader to go into the character's mind, without explaining how, and when, the house was built. How do you give the time, not the watch?

[Joe Long]

So here's my question: Writers, how do you deal with setting? How do you set the scene for the reader to go into the character's mind, without explaining how, and when, the house was built. How do you give the time, not the watch?

Only the details that are important to the story.

The TV room doesn't have a door, so people in the hallway can see in, or those on the seat watching TV can see out. The bedroom is opposite, so in the dark some light can shine from the bedroom into the TV room. It doesn't really matter what color the TV room, or the guy's bedroom is. Girl's like to express themselves with color, so the colors in her bedroom might be relevant to her personality.

With the 4th person over for dinner, Mom points to the dining room and says "more room out there." From that you know that the family of three normally eats in the kitchen, but it would be crowded for four. The meal gets moved to the more spacious dining room. Then a conversation can occur at the kitchen sink, out of view from the people still sitting at the dining room table.

I like to stick to what the POV character can see. He can't look at a girl and know she's a 38D. He'll see small. medium, large, or that it feels nice in the palm of his hand.

Try to get the maximum amount of story relevant info out in the fewest words, keeping the sentences simple and easy to understand. I rewrite a lot fo sentences for efficiency, and some still need work.

[that-one-guy]

When I'm writing on paper I go into an incredible amount of detail (was told to write a story around 2 pages long, ended up almost 8) but I can't seem to express it as much if I'm typing