Girl practice kissing Real or fantasy?

[SirGeneralSir]

So i did try a google search over this, all i got was a bunch of people saying its nasty, or that its just because she is a lesbian/Bi sexual etc and others saying that it is normal.

what I am referring to, is the "myth" that young women will practice kissing with each other, maybe not all young girls, but that some do it.

of course i've only seen or heard of it in books, TV or movies.

so the question is, is this something thats real or fantasy?

If its something real, that girls would do to some extent normally, how might that kind of conversation go, what are the variables in it?

If its just entertainment fantasy, what MIGHT be a logical reasoning and method that a girl/woman would use to explain the reasoning for the practice etc.

trying to keep this as generally speaking as possible for now

[Coyote]

I'm as sure that it does really happen, as a male can be. I haven't witnessed it in person, but I have spoken to women who did it and have no reason to doubt what they told me.

My general impression is that there isn't as much reasoning behind it, as you might think. It apparently can be something that just happens, if the dynamics between the friends are right. A conversation like the follwing doesn't need to take place or may even be the real myth: 'We should totally try making out. In case it happens any time soon with whomever I wanna be prepared. - Yeah, let's try you tilting your head left and me to the right first...'

One particularly detailed depiction I got completely centered around the awkwardness of realizing what was happening. The two girls had been close and touching beyond what would normally deemed appropriate in a friendship was firmly established, but not pronounced.

It was just a tad beyond the boundaries, though. Embracing while sleeping in one bed and just touching breasts and enjoying the warmth, maybe brushing a nipple every now and then very lightly, but nothing more. Pretty innocent stuff.

When kissing came up as a topic, it was a natural to try it, because normal kissing (lips on lips for a moment) was firmly established behavior. It was the difference of actually opening the lips and a touch of a tip of the tongue that made the eyes snap open and bring on the sudden awkwardness.

That was the moment I got told about: Gazes locked, faces centimeters away from each other, quickened breath hitting trembling lips. New feelings mixing into the established friendship and casting exciting, yet dreadful shadows. A loss of innocence and fear of growing up and losing something.

The one asked: “Are we…?”

The other answered: “Dunno…”

The first one replied: “Then we aren’t.”

The other one again: “Okay…”

Then they kissed again and delved deeper into it, because they had deduced that they ‘weren’t’, so it wasn’t a problem. Linear logic would have taken much longer to figure that out and also would have left doubt, if they ‘were’. Fortunately women are born with a far more pragmatic and effective form of logic already programmed into their brains (yes, I’m serious) and so can get around without bothering with analysis if necessary.

As for the question what exactly they ‘weren’t’ or were afraid to ‘be’, one answer of the grown up woman who had been one of the girls was: “Crazy.”

The other said: “Lesbians.”

I can’t describe the way they then looked at each other. Ten years later linear logic managed to let them feel shamed for something they never before cared much about.

Being sure that they ‘weren’t’ had been much better than clarifying what exactly was meant.

I really envy women for that ability. Logic sucks!

Of course that’s one example of many. There can be perfectly reasonable discussions about the pro’s and con’s of practicing before doing it with boys and leaving a bad first impression. And there are adventurous girls who embrace the whole thing for it’s own sake.

Kissing is fun, after all. Plus girls are usually not raised quite as homophobic as boys and often find it easier to embrace our species natural bisexual tendencies.

But honestly: If you let two female characters discuss the topic using the usual approach, you will raise suspicion in your readers. It’s just too cliché, because guys love that fantasy.

If you want compelling female characters, the best approach is to stay away from things that guys can relate to. Let them act ‘as only girls can act’. Even if that’s bullshit from an objective point of view, we’re talking about writing here, where things have to be better than real.

Hope that helps. ;-)

[SirGeneralSir]

i see some of the points your making, i just dont know how to implement them into my story or if they should be.

i have 2 female characters that are new friends, there hitting it off really good and everything.

one of them lived a VERY secluded life, while she was well educated and everything, the only people that she ever really saw were the guards and servants, the odd villager here or there but no one ever tried to get to know her and become friends etc.

she is after a guy but doesn't know the first thing about romance, kissing or anything related to that, knows what things are but not the how's.

here is the section im working on, im only on the first page of this chapter.

“Amaru, I was wondering if you could help me with something, it’s kind of embarrassing to ask this of someone that I have only known for a short time, but there is no one else that I can ask.”

“Of course I would help you, what do you need?”

“Well as you know, I am a priestess from the Demon country, as such I had lived a very secluded life and I don’t have many real friends.

The only people that would see me from a day to day basis were the many guards that were there to protect me.

Not many of them were interested in being friends with the person they were only there to protect, even the servants kept their distance from me as well as the general populace.

What I’m trying to say is, w-would you help me learn to kiss?”

[Coyote]

Hmm... Comes out of the blue in my opinion...

The explanation of the 'why' felt like info dump and didn't really convey insecurity. Though you gotta stick with the attitude of your characters and if she is usually lecturing, she shouldn't stop that here.

So trying not to alter the general style, tone and direction, I'd suggest:

“Well as you know, I am a priestess from the Demon country, as such I had lived a very secluded life and I don’t have many real friends.

The only people that would see me from a day to day basis were the many guards that were there to protect me.

Not many of them were interested in being friends with the person they were only there to protect, even the servants kept their distance from me as well as the general populace.

So I never…”

She trails off and looks down, her cheeks suddenly flushing from embarrassment.

“You never?”

“I-I never had a chance to… you know… kiss somebody…” she whispers. Quickly she adds: “Not that I don’t know how it works! Approximately…”

“So, are you asking me to show you how it is done?”

“Show me?!? No!

I thought, you could… tell me a little bit more about it and then I could figure it out somehow.”

“That doesn’t work out. Trust me, I tried that and when it happened for the first time I was completely frozen in shock. His tongue just…”

“His tongue?”

“Oh my…”

“He will… use his tongue?”

“Boys always do that. It isn’t that bad, you know. If you know what’s coming, that is.”

For a moment they are both silent.

“Shall I show you?” she softly asks, touching her friends arm reassuringly.

She blushes even more and swallows hard, but then manages to nod.

That’s just one approach. I’d put the more experienced one into a lead role and let her adopt the big sister teaches attitude. There can be more between the lines, though. I don’t know if you’re aiming at some girl on girl action here.

Anyway… Get emotional! This is awkward, embarrassing and incredibly important to the reclusive one and the other girl can relate. She hopefully knows why her friend wants to know how to and remembers her first time clearly.

Personally I’d prefer a more subtle approach without much dialogue, though.

I’d put the reclusive one into a position like in front of a large mirror after the two of them talked about the guy she has a crush on. Then I’d give her inner monologue and let her muse about stuff like being pretty enough or whatever she can worry about regarding his attraction to her. Then she can think about the prospect of kissing him and why she doesn’t have any experiences with that - thus getting the explanation away without dialogue.

The experienced one could then step up and brush her friends hair from her neckline or do something else to touch her reassuringly and also point out that she thinks her friend to be absolutely beautiful enough for the guy.

Without any words they can communicate with their eyes through the mirror. The reclusive one full of anxiety and the experienced one reassuringly.

Then it bursts out from her trembling lips, her eyes moistening: “I have never kissed before…”

The experienced one reacts calm, maybe having expected that, and takes her friend by the shoulders, turning her around.

“I’ll show you…” she says and then does exactly that right away, initiating a soft, tender kiss right on the verge of being passionate.

You’re free to exploit it from here. The motivation of the experienced one isn’t clarified yet and things can heat up, get awkward or whatever you want. The reclusive one can even forget about the reason for the kiss and fall for it. Inexperience and a firmly leading hand can work wonders together.

Hope that helps.

[JayDee]

I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. It was mostly practice fisting.

[SirGeneralSir]

JD ...... i know or at least i think i know what your refering to, but i think you need to word that just a little differently

anyways, the full on story is that, both girls like the same guy, and both of them actually lived very ..... limited lives?

the other girl, she traveled with her master to become a medic and everything, she has no family and just as few friends as the other girl.

what i was going for was that the 2nd girl would reveal to the first, that she doesn't know much about kissing ether, i think she would say something like this. (still working on it)

"I dont know what to tell you, i'm flattered that you would ask me but the truth is, i don't know either.

I was orphaned when i was young, then i got sick and everyone avoided me, it wasn't until my former master came to our village and cured me was i able to live a somewhat normal life.

But as wondering medics, we never stayed in any one place too long to make any real attachments to anyone, ive never been kissed ether."

with this conundrum, i would think one of them offers the idea of kissing each other so that they can practice, eventually getting slightly more and more into it before the guy knocks on the door.

full story is a Naruto harem fic, i intend there to be some conflict between a number of the girls but also some pairings between others, total is about 6-8 girls and the guy

[SirGeneralSir]

ok ive got the girls being very nervous, shy and generally unsure of how to start things going.

ive now got them more openly going into the kissing thats starting to evolve more and head towards the direction of them actually having sex.

what might girls experience in the moment of a first kiss, making out and the sensation of about to actually have sex, i would imagine most of it would be the same if they were doing it with a guy.

but being a guy, i have no idea what a woman generally feels regarding this, the wife is no help because all she does is blush and hide her face or has no answer at all.

[BronxWench]

I imagine what a woman experiences is much the same as what a girl might experience, with less giggling, so I'm game.

First kisses are fun, because you're sort of exploring each other. It's all new and fascinating, to discover the way the other person kisses. Do they thrust with their tongue, or is it a gentle sort of exploration? That sort of thing...

As you kiss, you can feel a lovely tingling working its way through you. Nipples become more sensitive, and begin to peak a little. There's a warm feeling pooling low in your belly, and you might begin to experience a little wetness as your arousal grows. I'll assume hands are busy exploring as well, and those touches are going to intensify what you're feeling. Gentle teasing or rubbing of the nipples, hands tracing the curves of hips and buttocks, or wrapping around a slender waist...

I don't imagine the gender of your partner is going to affect the way you feel as you grow aroused, but given that I have no interest in or desire to sleep with another woman, I can't help you there. But it's your story, and your fantasy, so I say go with it.

[SirGeneralSir]

good reference there BW.

how would you describe the level of excitement, the rush of it as well as the nervousness of it?

any kind of panic or ..... giddiness?

[BronxWench]

From my own experience, I was never feeling anything like panic. It was often a bit giddy, in the best possible way. I like the idea of beginnings, and new starts, so I'm sort of predisposed to be eager. I wouldn't call it a rush, either, if it was beginning with some nice kissing and touching. It would be a slow build-up, a gradually increasing level of need and desire. Maybe there's a flicker of nervousness, but it's more on the line of, "Oh, I hope he likes me," and then it's gone as fast as it comes because I'd want to focus on the kisses, and touches.

[SirGeneralSir]

thanks for the info there BW, i shall try and use it all for my nefarious goals

[BronxWench]

Nefarious is always good!

[Letoria]

I'm a lesbian, but I didn't realize that as a young girl. Memories of that time of life are hazy at best -- I don't know about anybody else, but my memory is not linear; it's more of a pastiche, a series of vague and discrete episodes living in various places in my brain. I don't remember ever practicing kissing with any of my friends, nor do I remember any special desire to. I do remember we used our dolls as surrogates for adults in our imaginary worlds, and we'd put the dolls face to face and pretend to kiss.

I have vague memories of fantasizing about kissing a certain girlfriend about the time I hit puberty, but the very idea of kissing another girl was so terrifying, I pushed that and subsequent fantasies into a deep vault somewhere in the infernal regions of my mind. I never kissed another woman until I was 32 (and I still count that as my "First Kiss", my 13 year hetero marriage notwithstanding). As far as I'm concerned, BronxWench said it perfectly when she wrote:

"First kisses are fun, because you're sort of exploring each other. It's all new and fascinating, to discover the way the other person kisses. Do they thrust with their tongue, or is it a gentle sort of exploration? That sort of thing...

As you kiss, you can feel a lovely tingling working its way through you. Nipples become more sensitive, and begin to peak a little. There's a warm feeling pooling low in your belly, and you might begin to experience a little wetness as your arousal grows. I'll assume hands are busy exploring as well, and those touches are going to intensify what you're feeling. Gentle teasing or rubbing of the nipples, hands tracing the curves of hips and buttocks, or wrapping around a slender waist...

I don't imagine the gender of your partner is going to affect the way you feel as you grow aroused"

[shannor]

To add more to this for the benefit of other writers, I can honestly say my friends and I never tried it. I know some of my friends tried it with other friends, they told me as much. But not me. I didn't really fit in with the girls, I was always one of the guys, and it would just have been a million shades of awkward all around. (Fast foward a couple decades, and I'm more or less sure I always was one of the guys, even if I don't look like one on the outside.)

When I experienced my first kiss, I felt nervous in an 'oh man, what if we get found out?' kind of way. Honestly, I didn't much enjoy it, it was awkward, clumsy, crude, exactly what you'd expect for two first-timers. Yes, there was the rush of the forbidden, kissing in school was very definitely forbidden, but that's all there was to it for me. The guy I was kissing was more into the actual kissing than I was. It never really became one of those things I enjoyed though, I still don't much enjoy it, and tongues are right out! Love hockey. Hate tonsil hockey.

[magusfang]

Well, my daughter say that they did, both with their friends and each other (you should have seen the look on their faces when I asked)