sexual writing notes.

[SirGeneralSir]

As a writer dabbing into sexual fields i found that there was a lot that i did not know or understand, thanks to the many fine women on here they have helped me to hopefully write a story that they would at least be able to enjoy as much as i did writing it.

This thread is a attempt to help other writers not turn their story into a bad porno/hentai story with lines that make readers scratch their heads trying to figure out what is actually going on instead of enjoying the story.

Breasts:

i have learned, thanks to the many women on this very site, NOT to refer to breasts as fruit if you want to generally have women readers also enjoy your story, that said the same goes for referring to a mans dick as meat related products unless this is all part of conversation.

as a reader seeing a variety of sizes referenced helps to make a story more interesting, there are no copies of the same body types, how many characters can you read about who have breasts the size of a basket ball, even if that is your fetish, i tends to be a bad thing if every woman looks like that.

it should also be noted, according to the women i had talked to, referring to a woman's bra size does not actually give a proper description for the breasts himself, it confused me for a while as i tried to understand that as many people use the DDs and C cups etc to try and describe the sizes, so as i was told, dont do it.

Breasts can be described as.

Globes, Mounds and many other terms, most can be found here.

http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/breasts.html

Cum:

Another thing i have learned is the use of terms to describe when a man or woman has an orgasum.

the use of bad porn/hentai terms isnt a good one to use.

Love juices for example, just makes me want to laugh even if the person is talking, its foolish to use.

also having characters cum by the buckets that they could fill a bathtub with it in one orgasm tends to not be a good thing, nothing wrong with characters producing larger amounts, but there is a line that should be considered.

Dicks:

Reading a story where a guys dick is beyond reason, large is also not a good thing to use, even if it is a fictional story like an anime or something, a guy with a 8" - 16" dick doesn't work very well, first off the size could and would cause the woman unimaginable pain, penetrating into a womans womb may sound awesome, but unless its some kind of a tentacle monster, a solid hard dick is going to have to break through the cervix, then there is anal and oral, the poor girl is going to be on a one way trip to the hospital and probably not coming back.

referring to a guys dick as a meat product, unless its part of a conversation or thought process of a character/s tends to have the same result as referring to a woman's breasts as fruit or other round objects, it distracts from the story as it can make the reader stop to think about it.

At this time, this is all i have but please feel free to add things to this thread of the do and dont do, over all there is nothing stopping someone from doing any of it, but for the people that want to try and become a better writer like i am trying to, consider what you have and are reading here.

[Coyote]

It's really a matter of style.

I agree that some things are generally viewed as bad, but that's mostly due to overuse. Apart from the anatomical impossibilities, of course…

(First of all: Everything I say is a generalization. All women are individuals, as are men. There are huge differences, but there admittedly are similarities, too.)

You have to decide if you want to write realistically or over the top.

There are lots of women out there who actually like ‘over the top’ and don’t get offended by cervix penetration, two foot dicks and Y-cup breasts, who also happen to lactate and of course stand by themselves without ever needing a bra.

If you want to write stuff like that, you just should be upfront about it. You don’t need to mention it specifically, but you have to show it through your style. The whole thing has to be a little less than serious.

That said it isn’t that hard to write realistically in a way appealing to the female reader, but it’s more effort.

You have to stay away from typical male clichés, of course. Measurements are useless, for they are to precise. A good course of action is to not use them at all. A large cock is a subjective description. Ten women (or generally ten readers) will give ten different measurements if they were asked to describe a large cock.

One general secret in appealing to female readers is to speak appreciatively about the female body without showing it off. Being vague is encouraged, because (again generalized) women are usually more willing to use their imagination. They often can live with a ‘beautiful’ face, an ‘appealing’ bosom or a ‘sexy’ butt. If you get more specific, to have to make sure to have their attention thoroughly in your grip.

Which is the sole secret, by the way.

If a more critical woman isn’t caught up in your story deep enough when you get to the nasty bits, you can only hope for good luck. Maybe your descriptions will be to her liking and she’ll enjoy it - or not.

You have to catch her way before that. Call it foreplay, if you like. It’s as important here as it is in bed with her.

Women are generally more emphatic than men and they can relate. Begin a story with introducing a character or more and make them persons a reader can relate to. Make them people the reader gets to know and hope that they like ‘em. If you manage, you have already won.

Alternatively you can choose a topic of interest, but honestly: I don’t often see men pick any. In erotic literature the men are interested in sex and the women are interested in the interpersonal relationships, which can INCLUDE sex, but can’t be limited to that.

So it’s all about the characters. If they are interesting enough, you can later get away with frit-references, absurd cock sizes and even lots of spunk. Cervix-breaking is a killer, though. Most women had their run in with something bumping their cervix to hard and that’s about as pleasant as something shoved into the butt when the sphincter cramps. (Which, by the way, is the most important reason for the right description of anal sex. Many women also know THAT feeling - thanks to an idiot in their life - and if you want them to enjoy written anal sex, you have to soften them up, get them to relax and cautiously prepare them by increasing stretching, just like a real woman with bad experiences has to be prepared for real anal sex.)

I could go on, but I’m not even sure if anybody can relate to the things I have already written.

Just one secret tip at the end: Make fun of men.

Women aren’t by any means nicer persons than men are. They make fun of us, just like we do regarding them, but they are more subtle and the world currently frowns on male sexism. Sexism against males is something completely different, though.

Make fun of men, even of your male main character. Show that you can laugh about yourself and that you aren’t obsessed with the male superiority and your female readers hearts open up much more easily.

[BronxWench]

I think Coyote makes some very good points, although I will admit that I do try not to make fun of men. I'm devoutly het, despite a penchant for writing slash, and on the whole I quite enjoy men. I'm also willing to laugh at myself just as quickly, and try not to treat one gender as superior.

But on the whole, I think any intelligent reader wants a little character development, unless you're just in one of those PWP moods. Otherwise, it's like being a little kid again, and vowing that when you grow up, you'll have dessert for dinner every night. After a while, it starts to get boring, and frankly unappealing.

And I stand by my assertion that fruit should not be used to describe a woman's anatomy.

[pippychick]

Aww...

They'd skipped starters at the restaurant, and so when she undressed, perhaps that's why he couldn't help seeing her breasts as honeydew melon topped with cherries. Whatever the reason, her naked body made his mouth water.

[JayDee]

"Things were going great until I got her back to my quarters and found her planet's people have a pussy like a Buddha's Hand. Captain James T Kirk signing off."

"Captain's Log Addendum: Armpit. That is all."

Edited April 26, 2014 by JayDee

[Coyote]

And I stand by my assertion that fruit should not be used to describe a woman's anatomy.

When I first told her that her lady bits looked like a rosy fig, she shot me a funny look and rolled her eyes.

It took me about two hours, in which I showed her what I usually did with ripe figs and why I really loved them. After I was done and held her in my arms, letting her catch her breath, she looked at me again. I took a while for her to speak up.

“A fig?” she asked.

I nodded.

“And you always do that with figs?”

“Can’t resist.”

“Well… okay then.”

Nowadays she’ll still secretly punch me and openly roll her eyes when I talk about vaginas generally resembling figs to anybody.

Then she’ll shoot me that other look and I know exactly what I will have for dessert later. Most likely before dinner…

I also stand by my assertion that a good writer can get away with virtually everything.

It's really a matter of style and the characters you develop.

I agree that the usual apples, peaches, melons and other cliché comparisons are completely overused, though.

Regarding making fun of people: Trying not to make fun of men makes you a good person. And a very controlled one, too.

Admittedly I find it hard not to make fun of my gender, for we are born so incredibly handicapped and still don’t doubt to be the epitome of evolution. Unless you cut of our balls or the dick happens to be small-ish, which completely erases said feeling of superiority.

Using this as evidence it is arguable the head really is the seat of consciousness. There apparently are some synapses interwoven into the spermatic ducts…

But honestly… think about it: Nowadays it is considered rude to make the jokes I grew up with. Most of them are sexist and targeting women.

On the other hand it is considered smart not to take the own maleness to seriously. The media and the whole society are programmed this way and even intelligent people usually react to deeply rooted stuff like that instinctively. Plus being willing to make fun of oneself always leaves a nice impression.

So it’s really a trick of sorts, but one somebody really being stuck up about oneself wouldn’t use.

Then again I can’t really tell if that’s enough. I can’t stop understanding women as a whole the way I do and more often than not my chauvinist characters aren’t really compelling. So maybe I’m jumping into conclusions here.

The best advice I could give is really the most ‘strenuous’ and most rewarding:

If you want to rite in a way appealing to women, go out there, make friends with as many women as possible and sit down to listen to them. Be a nice person, show interest and don’t take every opportunity to get laid, instead gaining trust. When you finally get invited to events that are usually ‘girls only’ you will actually hear exactly how women want their sexual fantasies to be described.

Just take mental notes and you’re fine. See you in five to ten years…

[BronxWench]

When I first told her that her lady bits looked like a rosy fig, she shot me a funny look and rolled her eyes.

It took me about two hours, in which I showed her what I usually did with ripe figs and why I really loved them. After I was done and held her in my arms, letting her catch her breath, she looked at me again. I took a while for her to speak up.

“A fig?” she asked.

I nodded.

“And you always do that with figs?”

“Can’t resist.”

“Well… okay then.”

Nowadays she’ll still secretly punch me and openly roll her eyes when I talk about vaginas generally resembling figs to anybody.

Then she’ll shoot me that other look and I know exactly what I will have for dessert later. Most likely before dinner…

I think I have just found an exception to my rule...

[Coyote]

I think I have just found an exception to my rule...

Admittedly I was hoping for that.

[SirGeneralSir]

lol BW thats dialogue related, his character referred them to figs, then told her why.

but if he just said they looked like figs and left it at that, well ..... i would still be scratching my head because even i have a number of ideas of what that could mean, but what does he mean?

as general comments, food related products are supposed to be bad, so yes that one works well

looking into my story, i see that i do make fun of some characters, but i at least try to keep it balanced, every one gets picked on at some point in time

[Coyote]

How does this not count?

Where's the difference if I describe a vagina as looking like a fig and telling the reader that they look like it to me in first person?

Btw. a fig is a fruit from northern Africa. A banyan. Ficus benghalensis. In German 'Feige' (meaning fig) is a common synonym for vagina.

And I still stand by my assertion that you can use as many food related metaphors as you like, if you do it right. The problem isn't the metaphor, but the male tendency to view bodies as a collection of parts, while women tend to see them as a whole.

In general compliments (being descriptive in dialogue) should be referring to a woman as a whole to get received well, while you always can compliment a man on just parts of his body and get a favorable reaction.

Am man getting told that his chest looks awesome will proudly push it out and grin, a woman will look at you questioningly and if you don’t elaborate will either think to herself or ask you: “What about the rest? Is my chest the only thing you care about? Am I some kind of supporting frame for my breasts in your eyes?”

If you want to compliment her on her bits, better make sure you have to say something nice about every single part of her. Whether you should start with her inner beauty and intelligence or can begin with something on the outside depends, though…

And regarding the ‘making fun of’ thing.

It’s really a subconscious thing. Consider the difference of the following sentence, if spoken by a man or a woman:

“I love fucking and do it pretty often.”

Spoken by a man it implies a womanizer. Spoken by a woman it conveys sensuality and will not automatically be viewed as a proof for promiscuity, even if that turns out to be the case.

The same words are received in a really different way. Just keep that in mind when writing and make use of it.

And also keep in mind the psychological differences.

A woman will be much more willing to view self-mockery as a sign of confidence. A man usually takes things like that more literally, for everything that makes the opponent (and all men are opponents on some level) look weaker is appreciated.

If you doubt that, try out the following: Start a fun talk about sexy stuff in a mixed group, subtly bring up the penis size issue and direct it at some of the guys, bringing them to express their alleged feelings of contentment with their equipment. Then admit to be meagerly packed with a confident smile and watch the reaction.

It’s priceless.

[SirGeneralSir]

i didnt say it didnt count, i was agreeing saying that because it was dialogue related, that the character said the what and why, makes it a good example of a good way to say it.

but if he just said the what and not the why, then its a bad example because your left with just a statement and the first reaction the girl gave your character.