The big C word

[WillowDarkling]

What both the girls said. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.

[Melrick]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[Melrick]

So, dad's oxycontin tablets run out tomorrow, we don't have another prescription for them, our regular doctor is STILL away, he didn't leave another doctor to take over while he's away, and it seems near impossible to get any other doctor to help out. AND he's having more and more trouble swallowing food (when he does eat), AND he's having more and more trouble breathing. Boy oh boy, each day just gets better than the fucking last. I'm really not sure how much more of this fun I can take...

[RogueMudblood]

Words cannot express how much anger I feel on your behalf at the other physicians not wanting to help. I can't imagine an excuse that would explain why they would not be willing to at least just renew the prescription.

I did find an alternative, if he's on an oral dose since he's having trouble swallowing, that you might be able to discuss with his physician: Proladone - but I don't know his dosage, so I don't know if it's feasible.

There's also the possibility of OxyNorm which is available as an injection.

I don't know how it works in Australia, but in the US, a physician can call a prescription in to the pharmacy for refills. If he can't himself (out of town/country), usually his head nurse can.

That truly is a deplorable situation, and I'm really sorry that you have to go through this on top of everything else.

My heart aches for you.

[BronxWench]

There's no excuse for your father's doctor not to have left a locum, and even less excuse for him not to have foreseen that your father would face increasing difficulties in eating and breathing.

With recent bouts of dental work myself, I resorted to fruit smoothies and protein drinks when solid food was unmanageable for me. It's not much in the way of help, but it may at least help get basic nutrition in for your father.

I'm so very sorry you and your family have to endure this.

[DemonGoddess]

Something both my father-in-law and brother-in-law had to do was drink ensure. It helped a good bit where there was difficulty swallowing, and being unable to actually eat.

As to the doctor situation, there's got to be SOMETHING his office can do on your dad's behalf. Good lord. I feel for you Melrick.

[Melrick]

My dad is lactose intolerant, so he can't eat/drink the vast majority of things that they recommend. I don't know what a locum is, but we managed to find a doctor to help us out, even though what he did he technically shouldn't have done. So that's a relief, until next time. But things have to fucking well change now. I'm not putting up with this shit again. I hate doctors. I really, really hate them with a passion.

[BronxWench]

Sorry... old broad here. A locum is someone who covers when your doctor is unavailable.

[Danyealle]

I feel for your, Melrick, because i know how bad this gets and you're there. Honestly, part of the issue is that the medical establishment isn't the greatest when it comes to dealing with the end stages of life and managing the pain as well as other things that come along with it. Ensure does work, or some of the other products in that line, and you CAN get them lactose free. They are a bit harder to find but you can go so far as to get them off Amazon if you have to. Along with that, though I don't know about AussieLand, here you can get a referral to a pain clinic. That will ensure that he gets the medication and support he needs without this ever being an issue again. Even hospice care, as an outpatient, can help with that. They can make sure what time he has left is as comfortable as it can be made. It's horrible to have to deal, or think, about these things but it does help and it's worth considering at this point to take some of the load off you and your family.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Melrick]

Sorry... old broad here. A locum is someone who covers when your doctor is unavailable.

I actually found out today - from our palliative care nurse - what a locum is. Our doctor used to use one of them, but not in recent times. And the likely reason is the shortage of them; locums are increasingly hard to find in this region.

[Melrick]

Our medical system is generally a lot better than that in the US, to be perfectly honest, but some aspects of it are just as shitty, it seems, such as the end of life part, like you said, Dany. It's ridiculous and shouldn't be that way. If I ever get cancer, I'm not putting anyone though this; I'll end it LONG before I become a burden on anyone.

[kagome26isawsome]

same here Melrick

[Melrick]

I have nothing but respect and admiration for nurses. Doctors are a different story, but nurses... my hats off to them. They work damn hard for little money, and the vast majority of them do it with a smile.

A palliative care nurse came out to our house yesterday to give us some assistance. She could see how much we were struggling, physically and emotionally. Dad also took another fall while she was here and hurt his arm, which she bandaged up. She came back today to check on him, and to ask us if we really would prefer him to be in hospital, permanently this time. We agreed. So we called the ambulance and they took him to hospital. Mum and I followed in my car. Half an hour later, my dad suddenly started coughing up blood. Then vomiting blood. A lot of blood. The doctors came, pulled the curtain around him and ushered us out. They took us to the family room where a doctor soon after came to tell us that he obviously had had a major bleed and he'd gone into cardiac arrest. So that's it. Just like that. Fuck, I didn't expect it to be so sudden. I never got to say goodbye. From seemingly okay (as okay as he has been) to dead in less than a minute. Even the nurse who was looking after him was shocked and upset. So now a lot of phone calls need to be made, not to mention nearly $3000 for a budget funeral. Being on a pension, that's a shit load of money. I'm glad dad never new how much money I was going to have to spend on a funeral. He'd have been horrified.

I fucking hate cancer, with a passion.

[Evilpyecat]

I wish I could say something that would give you some comfort, but I know how it is to be in your situation, and there isn't anything anyone can really say to make you feel better. I lost my mom to bone cancer May of '08, and my daddy to a massive heart attack May of '11. You have my condolences. It will take time, but I promise you, time will heal. It may not seem like it now, when you are facing such a loss, but I can say from personal experience that things will get better.

Cancer is a mean S.O.B.. It's amazing that with all the advancements in medicine and science they couldn't come up with a cure for such a horrible disease.

[Melrick]

I wish I could say something that would give you some comfort, but I know how it is to be in your situation, and there isn't anything anyone can really say to make you feel better. I lost my mom to bone cancer May of '08, and my daddy to a massive heart attack May of '11. You have my condolences. It will take time, but I promise you, time will heal. It may not seem like it now, when you are facing such a loss, but I can say from personal experience that things will get better.

Cancer is a mean S.O.B.. It's amazing that with all the advancements in medicine and science they couldn't come up with a cure for such a horrible disease.

Thanks for your kind words. You definitely understand how it is then. When he was first diagnosed, a nurse said to me, "If someone offered me a billion dollars or a cure for cancer, I'd take the cure". To be perfectly honest, if you'd asked me that question before dad had been diagnosed, I'd take the money. But now, I wouldn't even hesitate. Cancer is just an insidious, awful disease.

[BronxWench]

Melrick, I'm so very sorry. There really aren't words that make this easier, and I agree with that nurse. Cancer is pure evil.

My father in law slipped away on us after lunch one day. He laid down for a nap in the nursing home where we had placed him after air ambulancing him up to New York to save him from the misfits in Florida who were trying to kill him with neglect and misdiagnosis. My father in law had been improving, or so we thought, until I got the call from the home and had to call my husband at work. We visited him daily for the ten weeks we had him here, and we could only console ourselves with the knowledge that he knew that we loved him dearly.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

[DemonGoddess]

Melrick,

Deepest condolences to you and your family.

[WillowDarkling]

Melrick, I can't really say anything to ease the pain. I've lost two grandparents to cancer, I was too young to understand it with my grandmother, but my grandfather passed away in 2010, after a brief struggle.

You and your family have my deepest condolences, and my thoughts are with you guys. The best I can offer you is a hug, .

[Danyealle]

I"m so sorry, Melrick. There is nothing that I can say to make this hurt less for you but he knew how you felt about him. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[ApolloImperium]

I can't even put into words how my heart is breaking for you Melrick. Let DG and I know if there is anything we can do to help or if you need some time away. Either way I understand and am sending you virtual hugs from afar. You and your family will be in my thoughts!

[Melrick]

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. It still doesn't seem real, for some reason. I mean, he's always been around!

Apollo, I'll keep doing this for now. A bit of normality is nice.

[ApolloImperium]

I get you hun - Prayers and hugs!

[RogueMudblood]

Melrick, I'm so sorry.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[Melrick]

Melrick, I'm so sorry.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[sumeragichan]

Hang in the Mel. It's tough loosing someone to cancer. Do you have someone close to you whom you can talk with over these issues? I don't know how things go in Australia, but I know some hospice care facilities and companies in the States usually have support groups for the survivors and memorial services for all the families and friends of the deceased every so often. If that's availible I would suggest going. Closure can help the healing process a lot.

I've had a grandmother die from senility and a stroke and my grandfather on the same side died of kidney and bladder cancer back around the end of September. It was hard, but the same facility was with both of them (home services mostly) and held memorials and support groups for all the families. It helped my family out a lot.

To be honest, there has been a great deal of research into possible genetic causes with cancer lately. Unfortunately, the research hasn't turned up a completely viable option to take care of it. Ironically the same gene sequence that is thought to be responsible for cancer has also shown up in centurians. I don't know how long it will take for it to be done however.