Melrick Posted January 6, 2012 Report Posted January 6, 2012 Up until maybe a couple of months ago, I would have challenged anybody to look at my 86 year old dad and say he didn’t look fifteen years younger, if not twenty. He didn’t just look much younger, he behaved like a much younger man. He’s never been the sort of person that could just sit around doing nothing; he always had to be active and doing things. But then something happened. He suddenly got sicker and sicker, his appetite vanished, he got skinnier and skinnier, he was in constant – and ever-growing – pain, and for the first time in his life, he looked like an old man. That’s perhaps been the biggest shock of all, seeing him become a sick, weak old man in a matter of weeks. The weird thing about parents is that, to their children, they tend to be seen as almost immortal; they’re always going to be around, surely! But then one gets sick, very sick, and suddenly they don’t look immortal at all. My dad has been diagnosed with bone cancer around his shoulder blade, and they’re next going to be conducting more extensive tests in other parts of his body, obviously to see if it’s anywhere else. It’s good that we finally know what’s wrong, but the knowledge doesn’t bring much comfort. CANCER, the big C word, just like FUCK is the big F word, yet cancer causes people to shudder in near-horror like the F word never could. Being a life-long smoker, up until a year ago, means cancer isn’t surprising, but it by no means lessens the impact. There are not many things people fear more than cancer. It’s not the virtual death sentence that it once was, but it still doesn’t make a person less terrified of it. The old man might frequently be a pain in the arse, but I’d still much prefer to have the annoying old bugger around. Quote
BronxWench Posted January 6, 2012 Report Posted January 6, 2012 (edited) I'm sorry to hear the news, Melrick, although I know they've been dancing around this diagnosis with you for a while now. There really are no words of wisdom that help, but if you need to vent, I do listen well. Edited January 6, 2012 by BronxWench Quote
Danyealle Posted January 6, 2012 Report Posted January 6, 2012 I'm sorry to hear that, Melrick. The big C is a horrible thing and there is nothing i can say to make it easier. Just roll with the punches the best you can. Will keep you and your father in my thoughts. Quote
DemonGoddess Posted January 6, 2012 Report Posted January 6, 2012 Sorry to hear about this Melrick. Quote
WillowDarkling Posted January 6, 2012 Report Posted January 6, 2012 Sorry to hear the news, Melrick. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts. Quote
ApolloImperium Posted January 7, 2012 Report Posted January 7, 2012 I can't add anything to what they have said... You and your father/family will be in my thoughts Quote
sumeragichan Posted January 7, 2012 Report Posted January 7, 2012 Hang in there for his sake Melrick, all I can say. I lost a grandfather to that recently, so it won't be easy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Quote
kagome26isawsome Posted January 7, 2012 Report Posted January 7, 2012 I am sorry Melrick and i will pray! Quote
Melrick Posted January 7, 2012 Author Report Posted January 7, 2012 Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. Quote
Melrick Posted January 25, 2012 Author Report Posted January 25, 2012 In all my nearly 40 years on this earth, I've never seen my dad so much as shed a tear. Crying is not his thing at all, much like me except even more strongly. So to see him sitting there, looking weak and skinny, crying his eyes out, was more of a shock - not to mention deeply distressing and heart-wrenching - than being told he has terminal lung cancer. I'm supposed to be the strong one for my mum, but she was the one comforting me as I stood - and then sat - there crying. What a fucking horrible time. Quote
DemonGoddess Posted January 25, 2012 Report Posted January 25, 2012 There's nothing I can say to make this any easier on you Melrick. I know how hard it was on my husband and his brothers when his dad was diagnosed with this same thing a few years back. All I can tell you is to make the most of the time you have. It does help later. Quote
Danyealle Posted January 25, 2012 Report Posted January 25, 2012 Melrick, like DG said, there is nothing I can say to make this easier. I lost my husband to the disease about 10 years ago (though not lung cancer, it was another kind) and nothing makes it easier, nothing. Just take it one day at a time, my friend, that's all you can do and enjoy the time you have left with him. Beyond that, try to stay strong and roll with the punches. It's not easy but just try. If you need anything, you yell. I'm more than willing to listen. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. Quote
BronxWench Posted January 25, 2012 Report Posted January 25, 2012 Melrick, I'm so very sorry. I lost two uncles to cancer, and have an aunt who survived thus far but will never be without that shadow. There's really no words, other than to offer a shoulder when you need one. Quote
RogueMudblood Posted January 25, 2012 Report Posted January 25, 2012 I can't add to what they've already said. Just know that we're here for you. Quote
ApolloImperium Posted January 25, 2012 Report Posted January 25, 2012 I'm with Rogue on this one. My thoughts will be with you and your family! Quote
kagome26isawsome Posted January 26, 2012 Report Posted January 26, 2012 I cant say what has already been said but i will say I am sorry... Quote
Melrick Posted January 27, 2012 Author Report Posted January 27, 2012 I cant say what has already been said but i will say I am sorry... Thanks. Quote
WillowDarkling Posted January 27, 2012 Report Posted January 27, 2012 *hugs Melrick* I really can't say anything. I've lost two grandparents to cancer, although not lung cancer. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts. And *hugs again* Quote
Melrick Posted January 28, 2012 Author Report Posted January 28, 2012 Cancer is just evil, any cancer. You can't truly understand unless you have someone close get hit by it. I always sympathised with people in the past that either got cancer or had a relative that got it, but from now on, I'll sympathise a whole lot more. Quote
BronxWench Posted January 28, 2012 Report Posted January 28, 2012 I lost one uncle to liver cancer and one uncle to colon cancer. My aunt is a breast cancer survivor. It's an utterly hideous disease. Quote
Melrick Posted February 2, 2012 Author Report Posted February 2, 2012 He's been given 3 to 4 months left to live, but that's the average, so he could go quicker or he could last longer, that's the nature of averages. We'll just have to wait and see. At least we know what we're looking at now. Quote
BronxWench Posted February 2, 2012 Report Posted February 2, 2012 Just remember that you can lean on us as much as you need to, Melrick. Quote
DemonGoddess Posted February 2, 2012 Report Posted February 2, 2012 What Bronxie said Melrick. Odd thing about the time left they give you, is it actually depends on how much of a fighter the person with cancer is. My father in law was given the same, but lived another 3 years. Quote
Melrick Posted February 2, 2012 Author Report Posted February 2, 2012 What Bronxie said Melrick. Odd thing about the time left they give you, is it actually depends on how much of a fighter the person with cancer is. My father in law was given the same, but lived another 3 years. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening in this case. I hope I'm wrong, but he's deteriorated pretty quickly in a short time. And thanks again, you two. Quote
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