BronxWench Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Posted March 25, 2016 (edited) For Masking Intentions: Mona Thompson mona.thompson@hotmail.com 2016-03-25 id # 3000231114 Oooooooooo dun dun duuuuuuun! I thought the exact same thing...is he supposed to fail? So I of course want him to succeed! More please♥ Thank you! I know, I'm terrible to end on a tease like that, but I've always thought prologues should be sort of a tease. There's more to come, I promise, and while it might not be the prettiest ride, I hope it'll be a good one! Edited March 25, 2016 by BronxWench Quote
BronxWench Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Posted March 25, 2016 For Masking Intentions: helga1967 anahilda2005@yahoo.com 2016-03-25 id # 3000231118 Very interesting chapther. Please continue. Why the assigment so soon as earn the mask? Thank you! I've got plenty more to come. I don't want to quite give it away yet, but there is a reason Kdis was given an assignment so quickly. I've dropped a hint or two, so stay with me and I promise answers will come! Quote
BronxWench Posted March 25, 2016 Author Report Posted March 25, 2016 For Hazardous Duty: The_CL 2016-03-25 id # 3000231125 See now this was fluffy and cute. Was that so hard? CL ::dies laughing:: Thank you, thank you! Yes, I have been guilty of the odd bit of fluff. Here and there. From time to time. Now, if you like those boys, read "Special of the Day." Quote
BronxWench Posted March 29, 2016 Author Report Posted March 29, 2016 For A Good Morning's Sleep: The_CL 2016-03-27 id # 3000231150 Okay so I really didn't see where this was going but OMFG did I almost die laughing. So good.. And AFFModerator 2016-03-29 id # 3000231180 I love this one, it made me eww and giggle at the ending. Is morbid fluffy a thing because if it is you nailed it. CL Yes, yes! That's definitely it! Morbid is a fluffy thing! I'm glad you liked this little bit of crazy, which is actually not based on anything real, except for the noisy neighbor thing. That's a New York gimmee. Absolutely. And there is always a neighbor like that when you work nights. But I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I'm always happy when someone else enjoys the humor in it. Quote
CL Mustafic Posted March 29, 2016 Report Posted March 29, 2016 I must have forgotten I reviewed and then of course I forgot to log out of the stupid AFF moderator account too. Grr, I was sure I had logged in the right way, now gotta go check out if the other two reviews I did were under that account. Maybe I need to clear my cache... But yes it was funny enough for two reviews anyway, I still can't get the picture out of my head. Quote
BronxWench Posted March 29, 2016 Author Report Posted March 29, 2016 For Masking Intentions: pippychick 2016-03-29 id # 3000231186 Wow, Bronx.. you do not disappoint! His new charge is beautiful, and clearly they have some destiny together. For good or ill, who knows, but I sense they are but puppets somehow, even in their attraction to each other. I have a great load of questions, and I'd ask them all but I suspect to know the answers properly, I need to read the rest of this as you write it. One I will ask: do those who have put them together know their eventual fate, or is it unclear? Loved the teenager behaviour, and the mentions of somewhere beyond the sea. Is Kdis from there.. or one his ancestors perhaps? Also really loving the use of the word 'sprog' I will be looking forward to more of this eagerly. Thank you, so much! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying this, and I should be thanking you for inspiring me to return to this world. To answer your question, sort of, the Maiden is an oracle. How much she chooses to divulge to the others of the Crown is what's in question. The Stag knows only that Kdis can protect this sprog, and it's important to their realm that Kdis do so. He knew, when he bought Kdis, who he was buying, and trained Kdis personally to ensure Kdis would be ready for his destiny. And yes, Kdis' roots lie across the ocean. He himself was born in the realm of the Seaborn. I can't say more or I'll spoil things. Quote
BronxWench Posted March 30, 2016 Author Report Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) For Masking Intentions: The_CL 2016-03-29 id # 3000231189 Oh man this is torture. I still get lost in your world and yes there are so many questions that need to be answered. Why was he chosen? And will it end the way I think it will? Waiting on more...CL ::attempts to look innocent:: Torture? You'd think it was a competition or something... I promise, there are answers coming. They may not be the ones you want, or what you expect, but there will be answers. And thank you! I'm glad I can amuse! Edited March 31, 2016 by BronxWench Quote
BronxWench Posted March 31, 2016 Author Report Posted March 31, 2016 For Punch Line: The_CL 2016-03-31 id # 3000231219 Okay you made me laugh again! Thank you! I aim to amuse! (Did you read the first one? "Hunting Elysium" is the name.) Quote
BronxWench Posted April 1, 2016 Author Report Posted April 1, 2016 For A Good Morning's Sleep: GeorgeGlass 2016-03-31 id # 3000231224 I really like your writing, but I'm not big on M/M, so I managed to dig up one of your stories that lacks that tag. I liked the originality of it; I had no idea what was going to turn out to be happening upstairs. And I liked Finn and his true-to-life attitude, with "I'm going to kill that guy" being trumped by "I'd better go see if he's in trouble." But one thing puzzles me, and I'll try to be spoiler-free about it: Where did the McGuffin go? Something that size doesn't just vanish. Anyhoo, thanks for several minutes of quality mystery. Hi, George! I'm really happy to hear you found one of mine to read! I do understand that the M/M is not to everyone's taste, but I have a few M/F tossed in there. Now, as to the McGuffin, I suppose it does seem a bit odd to have it just disappear. Blame a combination of sleep deprivation, an overly active imagination, and some rotting takeout. Or it could have been something darker. Trust me on this, NYC is a very haunted town, and it's twice as creepy when it happens in real life. Now, for a little M/F with less McGuffin, try "Hunting Elysium" and then "Punch Line." See, I shall pimp myself like a good little writer. Quote
BronxWench Posted April 4, 2016 Author Report Posted April 4, 2016 For Masking Intentions: Eryn_Ivers 2016-04-02 id # 3000231244 You've done a great job at catching my interest right away! I'm excited for the next chapters ~Eryn Thank you! I'm very happy I've caught your interest, and I hope my odd little world will continue to hold it as we go on. It's a story I've wanted to tell for a while, and now is the right time. Thank you again! pittwitch 2016-04-03 id # 3000231262 What a captivating tale! Two very rich characters in a world I'm eager to explore with you. Thank you, BW! Thank you, my lovely Witch! I'm glad my world interests you. It's not always a very kind place, and the people in it aren't very gentle, but it's oddly welcoming for me, at any rate. I hope I can continue to entertain as we go on. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Quote
BronxWench Posted April 4, 2016 Author Report Posted April 4, 2016 While I don't normally do this sort of thing, since this anonymous coward has decided to cross the lines between my role as a moderator and my postings here as an author, I'm going to actually respond. For Masking Intentions: Dear Anon, First of all, I am a moderator, not an administrator. I don't hold myself out to be an administrator. Second, it is "an admin" as opposed to "a admin." If you're going to try to belittle me, at least attempt to observe the very basic rules of grammar. I am also rarely ahead of myself, since I cannot manage bilocation, no matter how hard I try. You might also want to avoid using the pronoun "we" when speaking about yourself, unless of course YOU are the Queen of England or have other voices in your head. The author in question was not begging for reviews. If you think that you are the arbiter of what constitutes a Terms of Service violation on this site, by all means report it using the proper channels. However, your sort of bullying and abuse is as much a violation of our ToS as is the practice of review demands. So really, are you saying that two wrongs make a right? You'll never manage to justify that, no matter how much you try. It's an infantile argument, and trivial. As far as your comments regarding the site itself, you do nothing more than demonstrate your own ignorance. I volunteer my time so that this site won't go the way of other sites which have failed, vanished, or been so overrun with bullies as to be untenable. The entire staff is a volunteer staff. That means we donate our time and efforts because we believe in this site and the freedom from censorship it represents. Before you even attempt to equate freedom from censorship with anarchy, please go and read the Term of Service and Posting Guidelines. You do nothing more than demonstrate your sole purpose here as one of harassment. Were I actually to give your sort of idiocy credence, I might even find myself offended. However, I'm merely amused. If you expect me to take you seriously, log in. Leave an email. Come out of the closet, dear Anon, and show yourself. pippychick, CloverReef and Tcr 3 Quote
pittwitch Posted April 4, 2016 Report Posted April 4, 2016 Dear Wench, Perhaps the harsh worlds, with fleeting glimpses at beauty, appeal to us because we have indeed lived in the harsh world, without blinders or misguided attempts to coddle us? I look forward to more - in all of the arenas. Write on! Write on! Quote
BronxWench Posted April 10, 2016 Author Report Posted April 10, 2016 For Hunting Elysium: GeorgeGlass 2016-04-09 id # 3000231451 I really admire your facility for efficient storytelling. In the space of a dozen paragraphs, you manage to create a set of expectations, then subvert them--both by referencing familiar lore--and finish strong by paying off the title. (Trying to avoid spoilers here.) That's a lot of punch to pack in less than a thousand words. Wow! Thank you! That is seriously a completely wonderful compliment, and made all the better because it comes from someone whose writing is always of the highest caliber. Thank you, so much! Writing flash fiction is a challenge for me because I tend to be wordy, but it's invaluable in learning how to hone prose to the essentials. I always have mixed feeling about how well I do, but I'm also happy to know when I've managed to do what I set out to do: to entertain, even for a few short minutes. For Punch Line: GeorgeGlass 2016-04-09 id # 3000231453 I must confess, I didn't understand the ending. (Can't be more specific without spoiling.) On the other hand, I liked "my balls were seconding that opinion." Thank you again! My poor nameless narrator... I wasn't terribly nice to him, was I? One of the traditional myths surrounding lamiae was their habit of seducing and devouring young men. My narrator might not be young, but in the version of the Elysian Fields where he woke, beggars, including his ex-wife and a certain lamia, can't be choosers. It's hardly a heroic death, but perhaps Cronus will be kinder than Hera, who definitely knows how to hold a grudge. Thank you again! I'm glad his gallows humor worked. He's a wry sort, my poor bastard. Quote
GeorgeGlass Posted April 11, 2016 Report Posted April 11, 2016 For Hunting Elysium: Writing flash fiction is a challenge for me because I tend to be wordy, but it's invaluable in learning how to hone prose to the essentials. I always have mixed feeling about how well I do, but I'm also happy to know when I've managed to do what I set out to do: to entertain, even for a few short minutes. I'm a big believer in the notion that limitations bring out the best in a writer. That definitely includes limitations on length. For Punch Line: Thank you again! My poor nameless narrator... I wasn't terribly nice to him, was I? One of the traditional myths surrounding lamiae was their habit of seducing and devouring young men. My narrator might not be young, but in the version of the Elysian Fields where he woke, beggars, including his ex-wife and a certain lamia, can't be choosers. It's hardly a heroic death, but perhaps Cronus will be kinder than Hera, who definitely knows how to hold a grudge. The part that confused me was that he was already dead but could die again immediately (ie, without being resurrected/reincarnated on Earth first). Now I think I get it: This was a sort of second (or third) life on a different plane, and after his very short stay there, he goes to his permanent afterlife. Quote
BronxWench Posted April 11, 2016 Author Report Posted April 11, 2016 I'm a big believer in the notion that limitations bring out the best in a writer. That definitely includes limitations on length. Indeed! I thrive on challenging myself, and I think it helps me in my longer pieces. The part that confused me was that he was already dead but could die again immediately (ie, without being resurrected/reincarnated on Earth first). Now I think I get it: This was a sort of second (or third) life on a different plane, and after his very short stay there, he goes to his permanent afterlife. Yes, the tradition of the Elysian Fields in the subterranean version was to earn your way to the proper, sunlight fields of eternal bliss. It required three incarnations in which one was supposed to do something heroic. For my narrator's sake, I do hope that death counted. Quote
BronxWench Posted May 4, 2016 Author Report Posted May 4, 2016 For Masking Intentions: pippychick 2016-05-04 id # 3000231877 So... it seems they only have limited time before the sprog goes off to spend the required amount of time with the Kraken. I wonder what will happen before then, since he clearly has no compunction about playing around with “servants” and possibly, potentially, protectors. We already know what name he will return with, and that he'll be more dangerous – poisonous – yet I think there might be more changes than just those. And what of this unnamed servant? If he returns and pursues that, there'll be a tragedy, I think. I doubt whoever it is will be able to withstand what returns from the Kraken like Kdis can. He has earned the mask, after all. Kdis' memories are intriguing too. So much to wonder about! Great chapter, Bronx – impeccably written. Thank you for sharing this world with us – I love it so much! Thank you! The sprog is certainly not bothered with the consequences of his actions, at least as far as servants go. But yes, the vigil will bring about great changes for both Kdis and the sprog. Kdis doesn't spend a great deal of time wondering about the past, but I do think he will be reminded of small things, things he might not have found remarkable but which seem to loom larger as he spends more time with the sprog. He's very right to be wary about the vigil, though. Thank you so much for all your kind words! Your reviews always make my day. The_CL 2016-05-04 id # 3000231878 So much information in this chapter but it just leaves me with more questions! I feel for the sprog and fear for him also with the upcoming vigil. I have no idea what that is another question to be answered. I can't wait to read more and I just know it will be an interesting journey through this strange world you've created. Great writing as always! CL Thank you! I always worry about too much info-dump, but sometimes I just need to make things a bit clearer than I can in mere conversation or by the characters' actions. Hopefully, I'll be answering your questions in short order, since Kdis seems to be talking to me again. Thank you again for making my day! anon~ish 2016-05-04 id # 3000231880 oh how I am LOVING this story! It's so unique and what a play of words and plot. I look forward to reading it to it's end or endings.... Thank YOU for updating! Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, and hopefully I won't take quite so long to update from now on. I'm always happy to know I've piqued a reader's interest with my odd little worlds, and I hope I can continue to do so! I'm the happiest of authors today, and thank you again! Quote
BronxWench Posted May 5, 2016 Author Report Posted May 5, 2016 For Indigo: GeorgeGlass 2016-05-04 id # 3000231889 Powerful stuff. What really sticks with me is a sentence from close to the beginning: "She knelt beside him, as awkward as a colt." The image of a colt struggling to stand on its skinny, wobbly legs came to mind very easily, and as the story went on, my mind kept returning to it, because the thin legs and knobby knees of a colt are reminiscent of what the legs of someone succumbing to the muscle-wasting effects of cancer might look like. The fact that she is so much younger than he makes the colt metaphor all the more apt. Also, many, many points for originality. "Man brings dying younger ex-girlfriend to archeological dig site for passionate comfort sex" is not exactly trite. There's more to the story than this, but I don't want to get that weepy right before bed. Thanks for a nice piece. One of the greatest joys for me as a writer is having someone read an older work, and let me know what they've thought. I suppose every writer has favorites among what they've put out there, and I'll admit this is one I count as a favorite. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making my day with your review, George! Given how much I respect you as a writer, it means a great deal, especially to hear praise for this particular work! Quote
BronxWench Posted May 9, 2016 Author Report Posted May 9, 2016 For Masking Intentions: pittwitch 2016-05-09 id # 3000231945 Intriguing! I adore the worlds you create, so rich, complicated and fascinating. I eagerly wait for more of these characters. You're weaving quite a tale, again! Thank you! This is a world that's been haunting me, and I'm so glad you're enjoying it. It's not a very nice place, really, but I do think the characters might redeem it a bit. I hope... Quote
BronxWench Posted July 13, 2016 Author Report Posted July 13, 2016 For Masking Intentions: From The_CL on July 13, 2016 Oh the sprog is an evil little shit, isn't he? But it makes me wonder more about the way the sprogs are raised. It sounds like a very manipulative society so I guess the sprog his no choice to be anything other than what he is. And wow, I would not want to be in Kdis's place. I have lots of ideas about where this could go and I'm both excited and a little scared to see any of them come to fruition. Waiting on the next chapter as always. CL Thank you! Yes, the sprog is quite the evil little shit, and he's just getting warmed up. I'm not sure how well I'd do in a world where assassins hold the moral high ground, and the ruling cadre relies on backstabbing and fear, but I think Kdis can hold his own, at least most of the time. You're right in thinking the sprog has no choice but to be what he is. He's already had one member of the Crown offer to kill him, and even Kdis isn't sure why the Stag is trying to protect this one sprog, among the many that fill the Palace. For his part, the sprog is bitter, and angry, and understandably so. He knows better than to offer blind trust, but so far, Kdis is earning a bit of trust. Thank you for reading, and for reviewing! Quote
BronxWench Posted July 14, 2016 Author Report Posted July 14, 2016 For Masking Intentions: From pippychick on July 13, 2016 The sprog is vicious and brutal here, though I am not sure how much of that is him, and how much of it is a product of the world they all inhabit. Seeing events through Kdis' eyes softens him a little for the reader, but outwardly he's just as cold as anyone else, and we've seen snippets of his training... I don't think anyone in this world you've created is “soft” else they'd never survive, and the same goes for that poor servant, who I do feel sorry for, but probably not as much as I should. If the same rules apply, then he probably mistreats someone or something of his own too in his spare time. Little things stand out. The sprog's nervous excitement that Kdis will drink with him, the suggestion of the game. And of course that little bit of truth at the end. The gift and admission of his name is more symbolic and meaningful than we suspect, I think. And best of all, that foreshadowing! You utter tease! Is it bad that I'm looking forward to the sprog one day carrying out his threat, and getting to know what Kdis “likes”? Excellent writing, as always. I love this story, and it's so intriguing. If I interrogated you, and got my answers, I probably wouldn't even understand them. Those answers are tied up in the act of the reveal, in the storytelling itself. What an amazing talent you have! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! After this week, getting to read a new chapter of this has restored some balance. Thank you! I'm glad I could be a small ray of balance in a rather dreadful week. You're right. It's never been a particularly warm and fuzzy world, and they are all very much products of their society, with all its darkness. The sprog is just more assured of his place than Kdis, or at least he wants to appear so. I always love how you pick up on the smallest details. I think those are the most fun to write, and I'm delighted when they work for the story as a larger whole. And talk about a tease... now I'll be having fond thoughts of interrogations for days. Hopefully inspiration to get back to my writing! But thank you again - your reviews are always a treat for me! Quote
BronxWench Posted January 27, 2017 Author Report Posted January 27, 2017 For The Brownstone: Quote From tcr on January 27, 2017 To start, I liked this. You crafted a vivid painting, both environment wise and character. The brownstone was as much a character in own right as she was. The drawn parallels between the two were done quite well. As aforementioned, characters were crafted quite well. I felt for her as she descended into the obsession. Despite the MCD tag, there was still hope, as I was reading, it meant the brownstone, but, alas, the ending was the best choice. The brownstone took on a sinister look as I was going through, which may just be me. As I read, I had this idea of the house sucking the life from her, which may or may not be what you had in mind, with the masked dancer being part of strange symbiotic relationship... All in all, I'll have to check out more. Thank you! I’m very glad the brownstone itself was as much a character as my ill-fated protagonist. I suppose when you think about it, there have always been places which take on a life of their own, really, and New York is full of them. We’re proud of our haunted places, too. But there’s also the way life in a city as big as New York can be so anonymous, to the point where obsession can be mistaken for determination, and madness makes one fit in just that much better. The city changes the people it draws in, although we natives are already under its spell. But thank you again, and I’m glad you enjoyed it! Quote
Tcr Posted January 27, 2017 Report Posted January 27, 2017 3 hours ago, BronxWench said: Thank you! I’m very glad I suppose when you think about it, there have always been places which take on a life of their own, really, and New York is full of them. We’re proud of our haunted places, too. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m certainly proud of the haunted places in my area. . Places do take on a life of their own and you’ve managed to instill that life through your words and excellent word choices. I can’t really say I know what it’s like in New York, but I know from my own experiences that anonymity and being the introvert does lend itself to people misunderstanding determination for obsession. I have known many people with whom the opposite holds true, so you’ve captured that quite well, too. Her own thoughts and justifications that the expense of the camera will benefit her in the long run kind of serves to cement it and is what a lot of people I know personally have done to justify their own obsessions. “If I do this today, if I get this, then in two months/years, it’ll pay back” instead of “in order to get there, I have to do this first”. Madness? Aren’t we all mad in some idiosyncratic way? Isn’t that how we’re unique? Maybe that’s just my craziness. lol. To end this rambling, incoherent statement… You’re welcome. It was quite enjoyable to read and I should be thanking you for the opportunity to do so. BronxWench 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted February 1, 2017 Author Report Posted February 1, 2017 For Masking Intentions: From CloverReef on January 31, 2017 (Chapter one) You are quite the wordsmith. Your vocabulary shines in the descriptions especially. The thing is, with some writers who use a lot of big/unusual/rare words, it comes off as awkward and boastful. Like they're trying to prove something. But with you, these words seem to come so naturally to you that their use doesn't give me pause. Not even for a second. They give your musical style a fascinating elegance that lends itself well to the genre. Kdis (how would you pronounce that?) is an interesting character. This prologue teases with hints of information about him. Enough to keep me, as the reader, sated in this introduction to him, yet not so much that I would become too familiar. It's a delicate balance that you handled expertly. I'm curious to see how his personality will come out in the coming chapters. The character that really piqued my interest here, though, is the stag. He was mysterious, prudent and violent all wrapped up in one neatly horned package. The kinda character that can make the reader flinch. It's unclear so far if he will take an important role throughout the story, so I hope I see him again. And just because your writing is so fucking amazing, I couldn't help but copy your review tactics and include a line that struck me."Correct." The Stag backhanded the sprog with casual violence, watching the delicate spatter of crimson blossom against the sun-glazed sandstone. "And now you are dead. The wording of the action (and the supporting action) is so direct and concise that it doesn't only pack a powerful punch, but it does it with a violent beauty as well. Oh, my goodness, you have no idea how much I needed this review. Thank you! Kdis (which I pronounce “diss”) is a particular favorite of mine as far as characters go. He snuck up on me in a flash fic for the AFF Dribs, Drabs and Doggy Tales prompts, and then stuck around until I started to write more. It’s a harsh world, where survival takes more than skill. Sometimes, it’s pure damned luck, like being a handy thief at the right moment. And the Stag as one of the Crown is a fearful character indeed. I do think prudent is a good adjective for him, and most assuredly violent. The hand that trains assassins… But I am so glad you like this story! I’m sad to admit it’s been languishing a bit, but I am partway through the next chapter, and I do miss writing this one. Let’s hope I find my muse again! CloverReef 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted February 1, 2017 Author Report Posted February 1, 2017 And again for Masking Intentions: From CloverReef on February 01, 2017 Something about the way you describe these masks. It colours the scenes in my head in a fusion of steampunk and woodland fantasy. The mask she wore was pale ivory and gold, with electrum soaring up to the high tip in an elegant sweep. The masks come alive on the page/screen. I love the little mentions of them adjusting to light or amplifying sight and smell. And I especially love their elaborate-yet-concise descriptions. This chapter came with a sexual tension that was subtle, yet bold. It was subtle in that the mentions were few and far between. There was nothing gratuitous. And it was bold in there was no puzzling over hints required. I could distinctly feel Kdis' attraction, and I believed it right from the first moment he saw the youth's face. During the bath scene, even when their discussion was nowhere near the topic, that attraction seemed ever-present, hovering like steam. I really enjoyed these chapters. I'll try to get to 4 tomorrow! Thank you! The masks are all actually characters in their own right, when I am being honest with myself. There are only certain people who are masked, and masks become both symbols of rank and authority as well as tools. And yes, I see them as part steampunk, part fantastical Carnivale creations. I do have a Pinterest board where I collect inspirations for this world, things that catch my eye and feel important. I am deeply pleased the sexual tension came through. Kdis knows his place, has had it quite literally beaten into him by the Stag, but the sprog is something unique to his experience. The Court, especially those of royal blood, don’t have those same social barriers he’s had to abide by, and he’s wary. Poor thing. He should be wary. But thank you again, and I’m delighted you’re enjoying this story! CloverReef 1 Quote
BronxWench Posted August 29, 2018 Author Report Posted August 29, 2018 There is nothing that makes my day more than a review, and reposting all my old stuff is, I think, a blessing in disguise if it means new readers will see it. So… Quote From SinfulWolf on August 29, 2018 Since this is a collection of shorts, I'll give a short review on each one instead of the collection as a whole. "Almost Home" - Rather sweet, and deliciously chaotic to show an intense space dogfight, but a fair bit of repitition in the character's names and craft titles kept it a little bogged down. While understanding this was from 2011 originally, some variance for Tierney and Bogies would have made it flow a bit smoother. Towards the end it was also slightly confusing as to what exactly was happening. While I managed to piece it together afterwords, it was odd and difficult to follow in the moment. "Special of the Day" - While M/M fiction isn't my cup of tea, this was still a cute little story between two lovers. I enjoyed that you gave just enough of the description to set the scene that even someone like myself who is new to the setting is able to follow along fairly easily. While I see this is also from 2011, I did note an improvement over referring to the two characters. Sometimes calling them by name, then switching out for their professions. It made it a smoother less repetitive read. Unfortunately I can't speak much for how sexy the sex was. It was well written and seems sexy though! "Play it Safe" - Again, these two are so cute together. It's a nice relationship to read. Also, first time in the shorts that I'm seeing what the "enemy" is called. This might have been better placed in an earlier story to help ease newcomers to the setting in. The whole story really helped build the world, and also build the caring between these two. Dare I say love? "Promises" - A touching little piece, and now I'm starting to get right into the world. I'm concerned for whatever that white powder is. The sex here being more my speed, I found it very sexy. Well written, and a nice soft sensual bit. Each story also got a bit easier to follow, and were smoother reads. I think the only bit that was slightly jarring was that it wasn't really described her emerging from the elevator. She hit the button then was suddenly in someone's quarters. Also, can't help it, giggled a bit at her nickname, only because it's mine as well. "Compassion" - Ooof. The rape was well written. Excellently got the point across without a single detail of the act itself. The jump from inevitable to aftermath showed the brutality of it. It did take me a bit to sink into the story itself before dropping into the voice of the protag for this one. But certainly picques curiosity and interest. Just wish there was a bit more description of the Arenin. "Hazardous Duty" - Just pure "D'awwww". Oh the things soldiers and such will go to for a good meal. I've got a few stories about that myself. Overall, love your work. I get these are old, but yer work is still great. I am very curious now about the setting though. Thank you, from the bottom of my deviant little heart! “Almost Home” does have a surreal feel to it, and it’s definitely not one of my more honed pieces, but it actually set in motion a very rough draft for a novel. It’s sitting on my hard drive, in a disreputable state, but it will get written one day. I debated trying to tweak this one before I reposted it, but in a very odd way, I sort of want to see how I grow as a writer, so I think I’ll leave some warts out there, to remind myself this is a skill that needs honing continuously. “Special of the Day” was a bit of fluff from me because I’m not always very fluffy, and sometimes even I need to lighten things up a bit. Two stories that evolved during the challenge prompts were a lot darker, and I needed the respite. “Play It Safe” followed along, and yes, I’d say that it was love that’s built between Sam and Mori. I started out writing straight relationships, so I’m delighted I didn’t lose my touch with “Promises.” I might have done a bit better with the transition from the elevator to Miles’ quarters, I agree. I plead insanity and the limits of flash fiction. ”Compassion” will always be a piece very close to my heart. It’s dark, and nasty, and I regret not putting out more flash fiction about the Arenin. I think I might need to do just that one day. As far as “Hazardous Duty” I can only point to Sam and Mori and blame them. The prompt word had no sooner passed before my eyes when they chimed in, and again, it was that bit of fluff that makes everything else feel better for a while. I’m slowly getting everything back up again, and while some things will get a much-needed tweak based on old reviews, I think one or two will be out there in all their imperfect glory. I’m also hoping this will kick the muse in the posterior, and get some things moving again. I hate leaving stories unfinished! But once again, thank you, both for reading and for taking the time to leave your thoughts. It really does make my day! Quote
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