'Women can't write male sex scenes...'

[magusfang]

Writing sex from a males point of veiw is easy, we're not exactly complex (Insert tab A into slot B, happy now!"

Same goes for men, it's easy to understand women, remove all logic, reason, and any semblance of order and there you go - the female mind

(I'm gonna pay for that, aren't I?)

[BronxWench]

Deeply, and for a very, very long time.

[TheDetective]

Interesting topic, though this thing has been revived three or four times now right? This is the most revived thread I've ever seen in my life, thank you for the experience. Now on to the actual topic, can women write male sex scenes? I don't see why not honestly. I mean it's like everyone has pointed out at one time or another in here; research, DO RESEARCH. Anyone can write in any perspective if they just do enough research or at the very least, some kind of research. I'm a guy, but for years and I mean YEARS I studied the female body and the gender, also helped that over half of my family is made up of girls ha ha. But I did the research, created a pair of male/female siblings on a forum and ended up having an rp with a girl involving the siblings. First sexual writing I ever did in the perspective of a woman in my life. Person I was rping with asked me if I was a girl and just lying about being male on my profile, so that right there should tell people just how accurate my writing of a female in a sexual scene was; remember I'm a guy to.

All amounts to doing research, the more research you do the better you are likely to be in your writing of the opposite sex. Also I would like to just say I agree about the dick girl comment on the first page, one involving yaoi/slash and the like. I mean people who only do their research on yaoi alone is going to be a poor writer for male/male stories of any kind; at least involving sexual scenes if nothing else. The only difference between male/male yaoi and dick girl's is often the fact the guys in yaoi just don't have breasts. Don't get me wrong, I actually do happen to enjoy yaoi, but my opinion stands. Mean you don't just apply lotion or cum or anything slick, slimy, or wet and then just slide on in slowly or in one mighty thrust, I mean that would not only hurt, but cause bleeding like you wouldn't believe. Lotion or what I said above is a good start, but you always have to at least ease in an inch and pull out, then go in an inch deeper the next time and repeat the process until your either balls deep or both men are comfortable and can start on the thrusting portion.

Now that doesn't go for just guys, that's basically anal sex in general, or at least the first couple of times you do it with the person. Feel like I've went off topic, so I'm just gonna end it here.

[BronxWench]

Reviving dead threads is perfectly normal around here. As new people join, we get new perspectives, and that's always good!

[TheDetective]

Normal? Wow, you guys are a lot different about that then all the other places I've been. See your point though.

[magusfang]

Normal? Wow, you guys are a lot different about that then all the other places I've been. See your point though.

Normal is just a convenient word that means absolutely nothing, what people consider normal depends on their view point. Most of what I consider normal, the vast majority of people would consider insane. Which is fine, because sanity is boring.

[BigMan7307]

To actually generalize sucks, some guys are more sentimental, more attatched than others, some more distant, just like with women, we're all individuals, different tastes. Some thing that women are the more emotional side, but, guys are just as bad, we just have always had the social stigmata attatched to showing it. If a guy shows emotions, he's seen as weak, some of the strongest men I've ever known have shown the love, or able to actually cry, it shows they truly care. The stoic, non emotional ones are the ones not in touch with themselves, or their partner. My ex has made me cry more than any person ever, and she loved me more because of it, it showed her that i truly cared.

don't think how it should be, feel how it is, do you feel the love? do you feel how things are? all are different, but, it's more feelings than it could ever be explained, try to convey that.

[BronxWench]

To actually generalize sucks, some guys are more sentimental, more attatched than others, some more distant, just like with women, we're all individuals, different tastes. Some thing that women are the more emotional side, but, guys are just as bad, we just have always had the social stigmata attatched to showing it. If a guy shows emotions, he's seen as weak, some of the strongest men I've ever known have shown the love, or able to actually cry, it shows they truly care. The stoic, non emotional ones are the ones not in touch with themselves, or their partner. My ex has made me cry more than any person ever, and she loved me more because of it, it showed her that i truly cared.

don't think how it should be, feel how it is, do you feel the love? do you feel how things are? all are different, but, it's more feelings than it could ever be explained, try to convey that.

::nods:: And some of the most pitiless, emotionless people I've met have been female. I've known women who could turn off any emotional attachment like you would turnoff a running faucet. So, really, I try not to generalize myself.

[TheDetective]

::nods:: And some of the most pitiless, emotionless people I've met have been female. I've known women who could turn off any emotional attachment like you would turnoff a running faucet. So, really, I try not to generalize myself.

That's both a bit creepy and interesting all at the same time. Though which of the two weight more is tricky to say ha ha. Have to agree with the BigMan though, lot of women at least like guys who show emotion more than the 'calm & cool' kinda guy. Not saying all women are like that, but a good deal of them are..... even if some deny it :3.

[magusfang]

::nods:: And some of the most pitiless, emotionless people I've met have been female. I've known women who could turn off any emotional attachment like you would turnoff a running faucet. So, really, I try not to generalize myself.

God, you have no idea how much self-control I am excersizing at this very moment...but I did have the snippit below so I'll bite my tongue.

Somebody please respond to BW though...I can't take it much longer!

Writing sex from a males point of veiw is easy, we're not exactly complex (Insert tab A into slot B, happy now!"

Same goes for men, it's easy to understand women, remove all logic, reason, and any semblance of order and there you go - the female mind

(I'm gonna pay for that, aren't I?

[magusfang]

That's both a bit creepy and interesting all at the same time. Though which of the two weight more is tricky to say ha ha. Have to agree with the BigMan though, lot of women at least like guys who show emotion more than the 'calm & cool' kinda guy. Not saying all women are like that, but a good deal of them are..... even if some deny it :3.

no...no...something like:

::nods:: And some of the most pitiless, emotionless people I've met have been female. I've known women who could turn off any emotional attachment like you would turnoff a running faucet. So, really, I try not to generalize myself.

Can you see your reflection in your computer screen BW?

yeah, I am so getting spanked for that one!

[BronxWench]

::points to title:: Dragon Wench. 'Nuff said.

[magusfang]

<----- drunk Cat, I win!

[SirGeneralSir]

in ways its hard to generalize but at the same time its easy too, maybe too easy.

like it was pointed out, most men in our culture (male culture) we have to be strong, tough etc and in many cases that works, hell look at batman.

but at the same time it can hurt the character and reader relating, oh its another tough guy, just like .......... guys, or ............ women and so on.

the emotional sides of things i think should be more open but at the same time, who is your character? i dont think we'll ever see bruce wayne holding a pink fluffy teddybear unless its for another temp girlfriend or some child, yet we can see when he is close to crying over the loss of a friend.

but when it comes to the body, i think using generalization, might be a better course of action, unless your character has some kind of a odd kink or something, generally speaking most of all of the same gender feel and experience the same things, to a point.

i am 99.9% sure that 99.9% of guys love to have their dick inside some part of the womans body, be it anal, vaginal or oral, of course there are foot fetish and titty fucks too or hand jobs

i think its a good practice to at least try to write something generally for both men and women, have the action, have the romance, have the love and the sex, but keep it inside some lvl of reason based on the character and who they are.

that said, are there any lesbians/bisexual women in here? i would like to ask some questions from your POV of girl on girl, can just PM me if you like

[Kurahieiritr]

All amounts to doing research, the more research you do the better you are likely to be in your writing of the opposite sex. Also I would like to just say I agree about the dick girl comment on the first page, one involving yaoi/slash and the like. I mean people who only do their research on yaoi alone is going to be a poor writer for male/male stories of any kind; at least involving sexual scenes if nothing else. The only difference between male/male yaoi and dick girl's is often the fact the guys in yaoi just don't have breasts. Don't get me wrong, I actually do happen to enjoy yaoi, but my opinion stands. Mean you don't just apply lotion or cum or anything slick, slimy, or wet and then just slide on in slowly or in one mighty thrust, I mean that would not only hurt, but cause bleeding like you wouldn't believe. Lotion or what I said above is a good start, but you always have to at least ease in an inch and pull out, then go in an inch deeper the next time and repeat the process until your either balls deep or both men are comfortable and can start on the thrusting portion.

Now that doesn't go for just guys, that's basically anal sex in general, or at least the first couple of times you do it with the person. Feel like I've went off topic, so I'm just gonna end it here.

A: Agreed because anal is all about prepping the one on the receiving end so that person won't get torn up. I thought I was the only one aware of that aspect of sexuality. Glad I am not the only person who has read up on the subject, and talked to my gay pals who confirmed my research some time ago.

[TheDetective]

A: Agreed because anal is all about prepping the one on the receiving end so that person won't get torn up. I thought I was the only one aware of that aspect of sexuality. Glad I am not the only person who has read up on the subject, and talked to my gay pals who confirmed my research some time ago.

I am pansexual and a guy, so I'd need to know at least how to perform anal sex right since I have a liking for guys. I will say this though, enough hand lotion on AND inside the anus, along with a nice coat on what ever is going into it, might let you not have to put one inch in at a time. I speak from experience on this, only because of a mishap with a cucumber while I was alone....... which also comes to another lesson for all to learn; don't use to much lotion.

[Kurahieiritr]

I am pansexual and a guy, so I'd need to know at least how to perform anal sex right since I have a liking for guys. I will say this though, enough hand lotion on AND inside the anus, along with a nice coat on what ever is going into it, might let you not have to put one inch in at a time. I speak from experience on this, only because of a mishap with a cucumber while I was alone....... which also comes to another lesson for all to learn; don't use to much lotion.

A: I went to my gay friends who are gay for my information about anal. I also know a couple gals who like anal also. Getting first hand information from people who do have experience in the department which makes the writing far more realistic. I portray emotional attachments plus the stages of fore play that are needed to make the sex good for both sides. Then again, I also swap out which of my yaoi couple is dominant, another thing all my gay pals have mentioned they do. I think there is a huge problem with only one dominant and only one receiver due to the problem of portraying one male as a girl in a guy's birthday suit. Men are still men, and they do tend to switch roles based upon moods, and trust levels.

[TheDetective]

A: I went to my gay friends who are gay for my information about anal. I also know a couple gals who like anal also. Getting first hand information from people who do have experience in the department which makes the writing far more realistic. I portray emotional attachments plus the stages of fore play that are needed to make the sex good for both sides. Then again, I also swap out which of my yaoi couple is dominant, another thing all my gay pals have mentioned they do. I think there is a huge problem with only one dominant and only one receiver due to the problem of portraying one male as a girl in a guy's birthday suit. Men are still men, and they do tend to switch roles based upon moods, and trust levels.

Have to agree on the dominant part. You see it a lot in yaoi and a good deal of the time in anything that has two guys in any sexual relationship with each other. The roles being changed every so often is something that is always refreshing to see, to bad it's rather rare.

[vladpryde]

I am pansexual and a guy, so I'd need to know at least how to perform anal sex right since I have a liking for guys. I will say this though, enough hand lotion on AND inside the anus, along with a nice coat on what ever is going into it, might let you not have to put one inch in at a time. I speak from experience on this, only because of a mishap with a cucumber while I was alone....... which also comes to another lesson for all to learn; don't use to much lotion.

Just curious: what's a "pansexual"? I'm bisexual; I've never heard that term before. Thanks!

[Kurahieiritr]

Have to agree on the dominant part. You see it a lot in yaoi and a good deal of the time in anything that has two guys in any sexual relationship with each other. The roles being changed every so often is something that is always refreshing to see, to bad it's rather rare.

A: ROFL. I freak out the status quo readers a lot due to having a switch off system relationship. The level of freak out over the debut of my Rivalry Revealed series resulted in emails, comment messages, plus a plethora of reviews about "How could you make Takumi the one in charge of screwing Keisuke ever?" The fact I have Keisuke in charge as often as Takumi continues to make my Initial D series a matter of epic unsettled incomprehension for the "Takumi plays the girl role only" class of fangirl readers.

A few have told me that my writing style, and realistic feeling relationship is refreshing, but many readers actively object in spades. Seems that not many fan girls want to read dominant male swapping to the bottom by choice variety stories. Guess it is all about being stereotyped script for some readers. Still, the core group of fans I do have are very loyal because they find the work refreshing so I refuse to pander to the disgruntled. Takumi was never a girl to begin with, so why should I treat him as if he were a girl and only had a slot and no tab?

[TheDetective]

Just curious: what's a "pansexual"? I'm bisexual; I've never heard that term before. Thanks!

To put it as simply as I can, gender/race doesn't matter to a pansexual. Pretty sure a lot of pansexual's have their own kinda term for it since it can vary from person to person, but it has ended up boiling down to pansexual's not caring for gender or race, sometimes even species. Could say a lot of hedonistic people are pansexual.

A: ROFL. I freak out the status quo readers a lot due to having a switch off system relationship. The level of freak out over the debut of my Rivalry Revealed series resulted in emails, comment messages, plus a plethora of reviews about "How could you make Takumi the one in charge of screwing Keisuke ever?" The fact I have Keisuke in charge as often as Takumi continues to make my Initial D series a matter of epic unsettled incomprehension for the "Takumi plays the girl role only" class of fangirl readers.

A few have told me that my writing style, and realistic feeling relationship is refreshing, but many readers actively object in spades. Seems that not many fan girls want to read dominant male swapping to the bottom by choice variety stories. Guess it is all about being stereotyped script for some readers. Still, the core group of fans I do have are very loyal because they find the work refreshing so I refuse to pander to the disgruntled. Takumi was never a girl to begin with, so why should I treat him as if he were a girl and only had a slot and no tab?

You forget one very important thing there; it's fangirl's. Not saying all, but a good deal of fangirls have been known to fly off the handle when they see someone writing a story about their 'pairing' and find the roles are reversed or one isn't just the 'seme' and 'uke' all the time. Main reason why I like to stay away from writing pure fanfiction and putting my own OC's into the mix, the fangirls/fanboys, I stay away from those as much as humanly possible.

[Kurahieiritr]

You forget one very important thing there; it's fangirl's. Not saying all, but a good deal of fangirls have been known to fly off the handle when they see someone writing a story about their 'pairing' and find the roles are reversed or one isn't just the 'seme' and 'uke' all the time. Main reason why I like to stay away from writing pure fanfiction and putting my own OC's into the mix, the fangirls/fanboys, I stay away from those as much as humanly possible.

A: Initial D is a street racing anime that targets a male audience. Fan girls are fairly rare watchers of this particular anime. If you ever check out the Initial D offerings here on AFF's archives, you will discover there are roughly 30 stories total and maybe a dozen writers. I don't get very many readers, but a lot of them decide they like the sparks between Takumi and Keisuke. The core group who follows what I write is maybe a dozen fan girls, plus the people who don't want to read the sex, while following the actual saga as it unfolds. The second group will tell me every typo I make which makes me happy since I do like to revise and perfect my work. Some of the rabid "only allowed this yaoi couple" variety fan girls crack me up the hardest. Rivalry Series has been around for a few years, and has found a few converts among the rare yet rabid fangirls for some reason that I cannot hope to fathom. Maybe the sparks made the reading more interesting than Takumi being a "Yes darling" puppet, which he can only be when with Ryosuke?

[KH_Woodward]

Just my two cents, but.... the idea that any person should be limited in what kinds of characters/scenes they can write is patently ridiculous. If this was true, Stephen King's best stories would be about white male authors. In reality, his "breakout" story (and my personal favorite) is about a teenage girl hitting puberty. Sex scenes are like anything else. You just have to research... The problem is that sex scenes present some very unique problems with getting access to accurate information. For one thing, it's kind of hard to get access to "primary sources". If you're writing about a cop, you can ask to do a ride-along and watch the cop doing his job and learn about his world and how he interacts with it that way. It's kind of creepy to go around asking your friends to watch them having sex. ;p Even if you are somehow lucky enough to have friends open to that, it's like quantum physics. The very fact that you're observing it changes the dynamics of what you're observing (it becomes exhibitionism instead of regular one-on-one sex).

Interviewing people is a good start, but it's limited by what they know about themselves and the world they inhabit. For one thing, people are very likely to tell you the truth about what they would like to think about themselves. They may be telling you what they think is the truth, but that's only a small part of their inner world. Remember, there are still females in this world with functioning sexual organs who think that the female orgasm is a myth. People's knowledge is limited by their experiences, and since the average person has few enough partners in a lifetime to count on one hand, and open talk of sexuality is often highly taboo.... Well, their opinion about what is "normal" is probably skewed, at least slightly. (Though interviewing people is useful for other reasons... You can learn their mannerisms, speech patterns, etc., and if the character is written in third-person, this may be all you need for non-sexual scenes! Besides, some of the most interesting conflicts revolve around the difference between what people think they are and what they actually are.)

But let's say you have access to perfectly accurate information. You're still not guaranteed to write "good" sex scenes, because no matter what the purpose of the scene, it's very, very, very rare that what you write is going to resemble reality in any way beyond the most superficial without turning off readers. If it's erotica, well... Real sex is boring to watch and kind of gross if you aren't the person having it. (Zach and Miri Make a Porno demonstrates this delightfully. I highly recommend it.) If you're writing some literary fiction masterpiece in which the central plot revolves around a sexual relationship as a way of demonstrating some universal human truth (I'm thinking Lolita here, and books like it) then the reason is because you have to provide the audience with enough information to avoid pulling them out of your story, without being so graphic and realistic that they end up shocked out of the story. Either way, what you write is going to bear only passing resemblance to "reality".

IMO, erotica really is one of the hardest things to write, no matter who you are. Everyone has had sex, so everyone thinks they know what it is. But at the same time, most people don't talk openly about sex with other people and generally don't have tons of sexual partners in their lifetime (certainly not enough to be considered a random enough sample for them to be able to judge what's "normal" in the general population). Sex is also one of those things that people are really terrified that they are doing "wrong". The result of all this complicated sociology is that people are often very opinionated about what's "right" without really understanding that sexual experiences are, in reality, hugely varied and individual. Even two people of the same gender, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic status, and social background may have radically different approaches, attitudes, experiences, desires, and even anatomy! So even if you do all your "legwork" you're going to have people saying that what you write doesn't make sense because it doesn't match up with their own personal, highly unique experiences.

My opinion on this is, If you aren't worried about artistic integrity (and many of us aren't, if we're writing erotica), focus on what turns /you/ on, and to hell with people who say it's not "real". Chances are very good that people who are like you will also be turned on by it, so someone, somewhere will also enjoy what you wrote. And isn't that kind of the point of writing for other people's entertainment?

But let's say that I was really concerned about pleasing an audience that is very different from myself. For the sake of example, let's say that you're a gold-star lesbian who wants to write a literary fiction novel about a gay couple in which the sex figures prominently in the story without being intended to titillate, with gay men as your target audience. You have a two-fold problem here: 1) you need to know biologically how the male anatomy works, and how it's different from your own, and 2) you need to learn about gay male sexuality/desire and how it differs from your own so that you don't pull your target audience out of the story by writing something that's wildly unfamiliar to their experience.

The easiest first step is to read a LOT of sex scenes written with gay male characters. If it were me, I would try to get a good dozen that are written with a female target audience, and then get another good dozen written with a male target audience (examples that were actually popular with the target audience, of course), and I would try to make sure to cross genres and "types" of stories in order to figure out what's common to the sex scenes regardless of plot considerations and genre conventions.

After picking these apart (you don't get to just read them for funsies... you have to go back and analyze them for structure, character, and other elements), I would figure out three things: 1) What is common to all of these stories, regardless of target audience? 2) What is common only when the audience is female (red flag for things that either women think men are like, or that are specific to a female understand of sexuality), 3) What is common to all the stories that are popular with a male audience, but missing in the books for female audiences (red flag for things that are common to the male experience that women are unlikely to know about, and therefore aren't bothered when it's missing).

Once you've done all that research, you probably have a pretty good idea of how to write a story that gay men will appreciate. You may not have as much fun writing it, if you're a gold-star lesbian, but if you do your research well and make sure and actually use that research, you have a pretty good chance of writing a story that a male audience will identify with and enjoy.

All this being said, I've never once used this technique for writing erotica. I just write what I find to be sexy and if other people like it, then great. If not, then there are most likely piles and piles of things written by other authors that they WILL, so I just don't worry about it too much.

That....was longer than I expected. Sorry!

The tl;dr: Talking to people isn't always the best way to get into the minds of people very different from yourself. Sometimes the best way is to read fiction that is written for and enjoyed by the type of person whose head you're trying to get into.

[Kurahieiritr]

Interviewing people is a good start, but it's limited by what they know about themselves and the world they inhabit. For one thing, people are very likely to tell you the truth about what they would like to think about themselves. They may be telling you what they think is the truth, but that's only a small part of their inner world. Remember, there are still females in this world with functioning sexual organs who think that the female orgasm is a myth. People's knowledge is limited by their experiences, and since the average person has few enough partners in a lifetime to count on one hand, and open talk of sexuality is often highly taboo.... Well, their opinion about what is "normal" is probably skewed, at least slightly. (Though interviewing people is useful for other reasons... You can learn their mannerisms, speech patterns, etc., and if the character is written in third-person, this may be all you need for non-sexual scenes! Besides, some of the most interesting conflicts revolve around the difference between what people think they are and what they actually are.)

IMO, erotica really is one of the hardest things to write, no matter who you are. Everyone has had sex, so everyone thinks they know what it is. But at the same time, most people don't talk openly about sex with other people and generally don't have tons of sexual partners in their lifetime (certainly not enough to be considered a random enough sample for them to be able to judge what's "normal" in the general population). Sex is also one of those things that people are really terrified that they are doing "wrong". The result of all this complicated sociology is that people are often very opinionated about what's "right" without really understanding that sexual experiences are, in reality, hugely varied and individual. Even two people of the same gender, sexual orientation, race, socioeconomic status, and social background may have radically different approaches, attitudes, experiences, desires, and even anatomy! So even if you do all your "legwork" you're going to have people saying that what you write doesn't make sense because it doesn't match up with their own personal, highly unique experiences.

A: You hit the nail on the head repeatedly within this set of passages, KH Woodward. Perspectives and belief systems will always be subjective. Trying to distinguish the facts from the ideals during an interview process can be especially difficult for those who are not super observant about body language. The public persona is never the truth of anyone's needs, desires, or darkest drives, but you can get hints about such things from the cues that all people give off with their body. A person who is comfortable in their own skin is usually an older person who has made peace with their dark side. They have an open and easy going body language. A person who is not comfortable with coming clean will always display self protective body language. From that posture alone, you can get a good sense about how much is wishful thinking, and what is truth if you practice reading body language long enough. What is proclaimed true, can also be reflected as the exact opposite. Duality is a big chunk of real human nature.

Social status and similar things do shape sexuality more often than many erotica writers appreciate. A poor person will be staggered by satin sheets and opulence so much as to be thrown out of their own comfort zone as an example. So, you have made a lot of great points in your detailed post. Different people do have very different experiences in their sexuality and that is what makes writing erotica the most challenging. I've seen way too much erotica that comes across as lame because there is no variety to it. One seme and one uke without change gets very old in my opinion concerning BL publication offerings I've read as research materials. Real humans cannot be molded into a one size fits all stereotype. So, psychology reigns supreme in who will like, and who will hate anything another human being writes.

If a writer is fortunate, they are not part of the sexually repressed moral majority. When talking honestly and bluntly about biological needs are not taboo, the relaxation levels remind me of talking about just another day in the office. Not many people have such a calm outlook about sex, and it is a very threatening topic to many people. Sometimes, the simple act of being shop talk oriented in how you ask questions can prove the most beneficial for everyone. Still, for many, sexuality is subconsciously viewed as a sin. Therefore the act of writing erotica, or talking about sex becomes a case of rebellion against one's own deepest beliefs created by your actual upbringing. The genuinely liberated lose their body consciousness so handle everything as an exploration of authentic experience by putting on another person's shoes to better understand their world view. The repressed cannot fully do the same. They have trouble in how they handle sexuality and erotica at times. Practice makes perfect, and the unease can be overcome because of simply writing a lot until you desensitize, or so I believe.

Age, maturity, attitudes, and experience will always play a vital role in writing good erotica. Different people have very different things that turn them on, and finding a good fit can be difficult for any couple, no matter their proclivities when you are writing about their sexual interactions. Taking off the blinders does count when you are seeking to do a good erotic scene. Mental flexibility based upon acceptance is vital to making the connection that different people have different needs. Characters do have to be viewed as independent people. Without such flexibility, you get the boy's skin with a girl inside kind of gay males story telling that bores me to tears. Giving the men room to be kinky or domineering in their undercurrents allows a lot of different angles to get written I think. Having characters acting like realistic human beings with their own unique agendas takes a lot more experience in real life, but it is worth it to the writer, and the readers.

Nobody writes truly great sex scenes when they first start out. Love of the characters and a passion for their characters love evolution can help make a scene really good. I've read things on occasion that leaped out and grabbed me despite being outside of my normal erotica specific triggers. The writer honestly adored their characters enough to merge with the character's perceived personality. The standard mold of erotica was enhanced by the writer's heart that came through in such cases.

[KH_Woodward]

Veerrrrry good points. All of it.

At the end of the day, if you want really "good" sex scenes, you have to remember that your characters aren't a set of genitals with a personality inconveniently attached. (Even if your characters don't realize it! Haha!) It's the other way around.