Flirting

[dream_jewel]

I really need advices on how to flirt, and charm..... I have zero experience when it comes to flirting *sighs*

I am creating a charmer, and a play boy for my fiction.... I guess a charmer is different from playboy.... Am i right or wrong?? So please give me some tips on how to be a charmer, and on the skillful art of playboy.....

Both charmer, and playboy are for my slash fictions......

If a charmer is different from flirt then how??

How do you start a conversation??

Do you use some pick up lines??

Do you have to create an atmosphere for that??

Everyone's advice is welcomed

Edited January 26, 2011 by dream_jewel

[ApolloImperium]

Personally, I consider a flirt just a regular nice guy that well, flirts, where as a charmer/playboy as the guy that works to get as many women as possible and sleep through a city. Granted that's more het then slash, but I would assume that it's the same thing.

I don't really know what to tell you about flirting as I've always considered it something natural and wouldn't no how to really describe it. However, if you want to look into the charmer/playboy type I would recommend looking at the book 'The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists' by Neil Strauss and/or reading the various game blogs out there. A lot of game is asshole game, but can be manipulated as well.

My two cents... I'm sure SK will be along behind me with his opinion

[Shadowknight12]

We have a lot on male-on-male flirting here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/17245-men-flirting-with-men/

I'm not a native speaker, but my two cents are thus:

Charmer: Someone who is either innately charming (possibly without realising it) or who knows what to say and do to charm people effectively. Not necessarily inclined to use this ability for sex, more likely to be applied to his business (actor, reporter, any position where a sale takes place). Usually charmers are confident people who seem to know what they're doing (innate leaders) and/or extremely good at making people feel comfortable, seeming trustworthy and putting them at ease.

Playboy: May not necessarily be charming (might get by on looks or wealth alone), but (assuming you are using the modern definition) is out to get as much tail as he can. The old definition merely denotes a wealthy, usually good-looking, man who doesn't have a regular job, therefore all the time in the world to "play." This used to mean sports, gambling, races, travelling and a cavalcade of leisure activities, but nowadays the "play" bit usually means sex.

If you want to explore the interactions between a charmer and a playboy, it'd be interesting to see them compete, at first, in a sense. If they are the emblems of two opposing causes (like tearing down a historical building to build a mall vs. those who want to preserve the old ruin), then a competition to see who sways more people to their side would let you highlight the differences between their "styles." The charmer would be all about personal interaction. They would sit with the other person, one-on-one, and explain their proposal. By the time they're done, very few would be unconvinced. The playboy would just waltz around and just ask people to sign a paper or support their cause, convinced that their looks and reputation will see them through, just as they have done every single time.

And as an extra advice: It's okay not to jump straight into the flirting/sexual arena. It's okay, in a story, to set the mood beforehand, to show us how the individuals go about their lives before they even meet at all. A foil is a piece of black cloth on which jewels and gems are placed on in order to bring up their colour and shine. If the flirting and sexual interactions are the gems, the moments where the characters are alone or with other people are the foil. They may not be as important to the story as you think, but they help you make the interactions between the main character more intense and interesting, by virtue of simple contrast.

Food for thought.

Apollo: Ha. Ha. Ha. Old predictable me, eh?

[dream_jewel]

Personally, I consider a flirt just a regular nice guy that well, flirts, where as a charmer/playboy as the guy that works to get as many women as possible and sleep through a city. Granted that's more het then slash, but I would assume that it's the same thing.

I don't really know what to tell you about flirting as I've always considered it something natural and wouldn't no how to really describe it. However, if you want to look into the charmer/playboy type I would recommend looking at the book 'The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists' by Neil Strauss and/or reading the various game blogs out there. A lot of game is asshole game, but can be manipulated as well.

My two cents... I'm sure SK will be along behind me with his opinion

Thanks for the advice Apollo. So according to you, a flirt is the one flirts verbally, where as a playboy is a guy who get's into physical relationship with as many women as possible. Let's just say he doesn't choose the kinda of person he wants to sleep, but just does it? Am I right?

I haven't come across a charmer or a flirt.... I tried flirting with my friends, unfortunately I realized I was trying it on my girl friends, and freaking them out. What can I say I freaked out because I sounded like a lesbian . I mean no offence to lesbians, don't kill me.

I had very less chance to flirt, and ended up with disastrous result. I will definitely go through the book you recommended. Games I am not sure.... I didn't know there were games like that

Edited February 19, 2011 by dream_jewel

[dream_jewel]

We have a lot on male-on-male flirting here: http://www2.adultfan...rting-with-men/

I'm not a native speaker, but my two cents are thus:

Charmer: Someone who is either innately charming (possibly without realising it) or who knows what to say and do to charm people effectively. Not necessarily inclined to use this ability for sex, more likely to be applied to his business (actor, reporter, any position where a sale takes place). Usually charmers are confident people who seem to know what they're doing (innate leaders) and/or extremely good at making people feel comfortable, seeming trustworthy and putting them at ease.

Playboy: May not necessarily be charming (might get by on looks or wealth alone), but (assuming you are using the modern definition) is out to get as much tail as he can. The old definition merely denotes a wealthy, usually good-looking, man who doesn't have a regular job, therefore all the time in the world to "play." This used to mean sports, gambling, races, travelling and a cavalcade of leisure activities, but nowadays the "play" bit usually means sex.

If you want to explore the interactions between a charmer and a playboy, it'd be interesting to see them compete, at first, in a sense. If they are the emblems of two opposing causes (like tearing down a historical building to build a mall vs. those who want to preserve the old ruin), then a competition to see who sways more people to their side would let you highlight the differences between their "styles." The charmer would be all about personal interaction. They would sit with the other person, one-on-one, and explain their proposal. By the time they're done, very few would be unconvinced. The playboy would just waltz around and just ask people to sign a paper or support their cause, convinced that their looks and reputation will see them through, just as they have done every single time.

And as an extra advice: It's okay not to jump straight into the flirting/sexual arena. It's okay, in a story, to set the mood beforehand, to show us how the individuals go about their lives before they even meet at all. A foil is a piece of black cloth on which jewels and gems are placed on in order to bring up their colour and shine. If the flirting and sexual interactions are the gems, the moments where the characters are alone or with other people are the foil. They may not be as important to the story as you think, but they help you make the interactions between the main character more intense and interesting, by virtue of simple contrast.

Food for thought.

Apollo: Ha. Ha. Ha. Old predictable me, eh?

Thanks Shadowknight12 for the advice. Well I thought Charmer is the one, who entertains or basically charms people. I agree with what you say, I thought flirt is someone who just does it for fun because he has no other job to do lol....

Well your specific points helped me.... No, the charmer is not going to entice his lover, but another girl whom he brings home.... They are not yet a couple, but will be in the future.....

Playboy is for my forthcoming fiction.....

Edited February 19, 2011 by dream_jewel

[BronxWench]

For me, and in general, flirting is just really a game you play, using language that's able to be interpreted in a couple of ways. You say something and see how the other person responds. If they pick up on the more suggestive interpretation and respond in the same way, then you have your flirt on.

A charmer might use flirting as a way to break the ice, but a charmer relies more, in my opinion, on having the kind of personality that is very magnetic. This is someone who walks into a room and gets noticed, whether because they are physically attractive, or just have that sort of pull that makes people want to know them, or say they are friends with them. They don't need to be rich, or powerful. They just have that something that pulls people to them, and they are often willing to use that to get what they want, as well. Charmers are easily confused when someone is immune to their appeal. They often expect to get things without having to work too hard for them because they are who they are...

Playboys are harder without knowing the type of person you are looking to create. Will it be a wealthy person who lives the life of the idle rich, or is it someone whose mission in life is to sleep with a wide variety of people without making a genuine emotional commitment, or is it a combination of both?

[dream_jewel]

For me, and in general, flirting is just really a game you play, using language that's able to be interpreted in a couple of ways. You say something and see how the other person responds. If they pick up on the more suggestive interpretation and respond in the same way, then you have your flirt on.

A charmer might use flirting as a way to break the ice, but a charmer relies more, in my opinion, on having the kind of personality that is very magnetic. This is someone who walks into a room and gets noticed, whether because they are physically attractive, or just have that sort of pull that makes people want to know them, or say they are friends with them. They don't need to be rich, or powerful. They just have that something that pulls people to them, and they are often willing to use that to get what they want, as well. Charmers are easily confused when someone is immune to their appeal. They often expect to get things without having to work too hard for them because they are who they are...

Playboys are harder without knowing the type of person you are looking to create. Will it be a wealthy person who lives the life of the idle rich, or is it someone whose mission in life is to sleep with a wide variety of people without making a genuine emotional commitment, or is it a combination of both?

Thank you Bronx. Your advice was very useful.

The Casanova I plan to create is some one who hates love, he kinda person who dates any girl. He is not rich, just an average college student. This is what he says "I would date any kinda girl, the girl who loves me , the girl who hates me, the girl who makes me do things to her, the girl who does things to me," He just sleeps around, he hates emotional commitment. He is quite rebellious, and a jerk....

I will be mailing you in detail about both the characters Bronx.......

Edited February 19, 2011 by dream_jewel

[ApolloImperium]

The Casanova I plan to create is some one who hates love, he kinda person who dates any girl. He is not rich, just an average college student. This is what he says "I would date any kinda girl, the girl who loves me , the girl who hates me, the girl who makes me do things to her, the girl who does things to me," He just sleeps around, he hates emotional commitment. He is quite rebellious, and a jerk....

For this one here are a few blogs to review for ideas

http://www.realassanova.com/

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

http://www.puatraining.com/puablog/

http://www.artofseductions.com/

[Savaghunger47]

Hi Hon!

So many good answers to your question, but here is my two cents

When i think of someone who is charming i think of a person who is smooth in speaking. confident. Who makes people feel at ease and is pleasant to talk to. While some who flirts is looking for a reaction, be it sexual or not.

Wow...never thought about it but trying to think about the difference of the two can be kinda hard to explain >.<