Thundercloud Posted May 29, 2021 Report Posted May 29, 2021 10 minutes ago, JayDee said: You! part 2! Thank you again for this review! Her stories are very compelling. You want to look away, but can’t, and before you know it you’re doing her evi bidding. There’s no truth to the rumour this was based on J K Rowling. Instead the source of inspiration is Twilight… 10 minutes ago, JayDee said: He’s distracted by the game at the time with headphones and mic, and when he turns around he just thinks his Mom’s let a couple of folks in and they came through the door. With Sarsa grabbing his attention he doesn’t click that ‘you’ are a total stranger. Maybe she is also spending demonic energy on gathering fans to read her works so that it is hard for people to be suspicious. 10 minutes ago, JayDee said: ‘Starla’ is just the name of some girl who knows who cosplays, roughly Sarsa’s height, and he initially thinks Sarsa is her in prosthetics and make up. Ah...that explains it. It seemed so much like fantasy name that failed to think about that explanation. 10 minutes ago, JayDee said: Sarsa’s really only pretending to be nice with him. Once she encountered him she realised she could use him to further her aims, and put her rage to one side, but once she had what he wanted he was probably going to suffer a very long, painful, and possibly pop culture ridden fate. He’d not die. Precisely my thought. She pretends to be nice since she see opportunity atthe comic-cone. I think it would be great entertainment to have her at the Con shapeshifting into different forms to get sex and fans. 10 minutes ago, JayDee said: Thanks again for the reviews! I intend to review the rest of chapters also in due time, but there are other stuff also in the pipeline to be read so you get the rest of the reviews. JayDee 1 Quote
JayDee Posted May 30, 2021 Author Report Posted May 30, 2021 On 5/29/2021 at 10:34 AM, Thundercloud said: Obviously there is too little Jadis fanfiction around. Especially such without minors involved. My own Jadis flashfic had no minors...but no sex either. Just piss and petrification. Which would make a good band name. On 5/29/2021 at 10:44 AM, Thundercloud said: Instead the source of inspiration is Twilight… I never actually got around to reading them, although having a vampire and a werewolf show up doesn’t exactly help my case. Quote Ah...that explains it. It seemed so much like fantasy name that failed to think about that explanation. Shockingly, it is a genuine American name! See Starla the redneck in the movie Slither. Quote Precisely my thought. She pretends to be nice since she see opportunity atthe comic-cone. I think it would be great entertainment to have her at the Con shapeshifting into different forms to get sex and fans. “Who wants to try anal with me? You do? Bend over, nerd!” Quote I intend to review the rest of chapters also in due time, but there are other stuff also in the pipeline to be read so you get the rest of the reviews. No worries, I know how busy folks get. Like I said to Invidia, If I didn’t have my reviews for the Sparrow/InBrighestday story already written months ago from IBD previewing it to me, I’d probably not have the time to give them as much feedback each week either (it’s a damn good story tho’!) I am looking forward to yours, hopefully tomorrow as I remembered I have a day off work! Quote
JayDee Posted June 6, 2021 Author Report Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) You! Quote @Thundercloud Review of chapter 3 Finally we get to see what was really going on, but hinted in the previous chapters. Thank you for this review also! It’s funny, when I did chapter one I just figured it would be a oneshot, deciding what direction to go later on I had to try and draw the earlier stuff together and have it make some kind of sense. Or failing that a joke or two. Quote Sarsas fanfic for this time if of the Potter kind...would not surprise me if there are a number of fanfics around with this particular plot. Actually I can kind of relate to the unable to look away from a fanfic. I remember around the year 2000 when I have upcoming exam and stumbled on a fiction archive that had superhero stories with the same original character. Kept reading chapter after chapter until I suddenly realized that I forgotten about studing for the exam and time was 2 am in the night. The year 2000? Was it on the old grey archive, or superstories or another one? There were some good old stories back in those days. I remember one I think called superheroine central? Had some free stories too from some talented authors. Could absolutely just keep you reading, though these days I bet I’d get too tried afore long. Quote The appearance of Lupa and Kate in this story is well done. Poor Kate stuck in heat for a very long time. Her reaction when she gets free was funny. Her talk about what she expected from 2016 was pretty hilarious. Thanks again! Kate definitely suffers some ill effects from the magic there and even more so when she gets out of the house – luckily she’s got good friends to help her through it. Shannon’s promise to herself that she’d get Kate out in that Christmas story worked “Sounds like a Yaoi overdose” was one of my favourite lines from it! Quote Final thought...exposition fairies...having a kinky version of that sounds funny. How about a magic/demon that force somebody into that role against their will? If you got any ideas on it that would work absolutely feel free to go ahead and use it! I just had it as a throwaway cranky Lupa line. When you say forced into the role, is it kinda like that film Liar Liar where he had to tell the truth all the time, or one where they’d be forced to provide expositon on everything, maybe even stuff they didn’t know about like, “Yes your husband was late back last night. He’s got a goat fetish. Just been blowing them all up the field.” Or something else? Either way, thanks you again for the reviews! Has been fun revisiting this little story. Edited June 6, 2021 by JayDee Quote
Thundercloud Posted June 6, 2021 Report Posted June 6, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, JayDee said: You! Thank you for this review also! It’s funny, when I did chapter one I just figured it would be a oneshot, deciding what direction to go later on I had to try and draw the earlier stuff together and have it make some kind of sense. Or failing that a joke or two. You succeeded if you ask me, plenty of good jokes. Quote The year 2000? Was it on the old grey archive, or superstories or another one? There were some good old stories back in those days. I remember one I think called superheroine central? Had some free stories too from some talented authors. I think I frequented just about all of those you mentioned, grey archive was the first site I posted on. One you failed to mention is btw mcstories.com...there are some great stories there if you can stand there being quite a lot of repetition of themes in the stories considering the sites narrow focus. As for the story site that ruined the story session is was actually the Aurora Universe by Sharon Bast. When I broke the spell and considered what I was doing I decided the stories was providing to little payoff considering the length of stories and so much just being a weird superman/supergirl ripoff. Considering how many authors that contributed since and original author changing his pen-name and revising everything I suppose there must be a staggering Aurora stories around now. If you have time to spare, I would say mcstories is a better bet to find interesting stories. There some of the classics that was posted there. Quote Thanks again! Kate definitely suffers some ill effects from the magic there and even more so when she gets out of the house – luckily she’s got good friends to help her through it. Shannon’s promise to herself that she’d get Kate out in that Christmas story worked “Sounds like a Yaoi overdose” was one of my favourite lines from it! I just realized there is Yaoi manga that is named Overdose... Quote If you got any ideas on it that would work absolutely feel free to go ahead and use it! I just had it as a throwaway cranky Lupa line. When you say forced into the role, is it kinda like that film Liar Liar where he had to tell the truth all the time, or one where they’d be forced to provide expositon on everything, maybe even stuff they didn’t know about like, “Yes your husband was late back last night. He’s got a goat fetish. Just been blowing them all up the field.” Or something else? I have not any ideas finished yet, but I am toying with the idea of somebody that is stuck with exposition fairy and realize that he/she cannot help to answer when prompted no matter how kinky the question is. No idea if it will work out as a story, but it sounds fun with anti hero that force the fairy to talk dirty. Edited June 6, 2021 by Thundercloud JayDee 1 Quote
JayDee Posted June 7, 2021 Author Report Posted June 7, 2021 20 hours ago, Thundercloud said: I think I frequented just about all of those you mentioned, grey archive was the first site I posted on. One you failed to mention is btw mcstories.com...there are some great stories there if you can stand there being quite a lot of repetition of themes in the stories considering the sites narrow focus. I think my problem with mcstories was probably like you say a lot of repetition, but one author there I think I first saw on the grey archive was TantricLegion who did some great corruption stories. I sometimes still nip back there today to re-read one or two bits! Quote As for the story site that ruined the story session is was actually the Aurora Universe by Sharon Bast. When I broke the spell and considered what I was doing I decided the stories was providing to little payoff considering the length of stories and so much just being a weird superman/supergirl ripoff. Sometimes a particular style or theme of writing’ll just keep drawing ya in Quote I just realized there is Yaoi manga that is named Overdose... Unintentional reference, but I can totally start claiming it was intentional :p Quote I have not any ideas finished yet, but I am toying with the idea of somebody that is stuck with exposition fairy and realize that he/she cannot help to answer when prompted no matter how kinky the question is. No idea if it will work out as a story, but it sounds fun with anti hero that force the fairy to talk dirty. Well, if it does work it’s cool and good luck, and if it doesn’t it’s a nice mental exercise! Quote
JayDee Posted July 3, 2021 Author Report Posted July 3, 2021 Quote From ANON - Cct61 sorry to see the story end was fun to read on July 02, 2021 Thank you for your comment, I’m really glad you found it fun! The character show up in some of my other stories if you’d like to read more of them. I always felt this one needed a final ‘cap off’ chapter to finish it properly, but never got around to it. Thank you again! Quote
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