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Posted

What are two ingrediants missing for our good night in?

big, long and very hard first thing in the morning.

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Posted

what did you see to make you think that was bad pot?

Iceburg, dead ahead.

Posted

what do you call it when a woman can lick her own pussy?

its when i started to vomit i realised soemthing was wrong.

Posted

what did the pig do as you shot it?

Human slaves in an insect nation.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

Could you let me borrow two chocolate covered elves if in return, I let you borrow a carmel covered Snapes?

Me and him alone on a desert island with nothing but palm trees and fine Godiva chocolate liquor.

Posted

What would your ideal holiday be with a loved one?

the car crashed but everyone was fine.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

"Hello, thank you for calling Statewide Insurance, how can I help you?"

All I got was a cold and an infected hangnail

Posted

What happened when you tried to get Allan Rickman's autograph?

Well, I'll just be dumping my stock in that company now.

Posted

whats the buisness term for going to the sperm bank?

the safest place is the black box.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

Where should I keep my supersonic vibrator so no one steals it?

Well, okay, but you lick it first.

Posted

you want to try this homemade popcicle?

sucked out of the airplane window.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

Uhm... I thought Grandma was coming with you, what happened?

As soon as I stop shaking.

Posted

do you want to tell me what those drugs are like?

88 miles an hour.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

How fast do you think he was going before he crashed?

No thanks, I'll wait for the next one.

Posted

do you want to enlist in the army and fight the war?

10,000 people.

Guest Melody Fate
Posted

That's a pretty big box, what are you keeping in that?

It's all right, I poked holes in the lid.

Posted

have you seen that box i had that contained the deadly virus we were testing?

the whole population of China.

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