Answers First

[redsliver]

What're you doing to my German shepherd?

Caught her in bed with my best friend, my brother and my Burmese python.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Why aren't you talking to your mom lately?

I bitchslapped her.

[quamp]

What happened when you met Ann Colter? (sp?)

There's nothing redeeming about that kind of a story.

[Guest Nympho]

Why don't you read Mary Sue?

No, it's a little farther down and to the right.

[Guest ChibiShiva]

So, did I hit the G-spot this time?

A knife and chocolate spread is all I need.

[Guest Melody Fate]

What are you going to do with all those naked elves?

No, they're all for me!

[englishwitch]

will you share one of those naked elves?

Forget how, can you get it out?

[quamp]

How do I get out of this dead-end job and into a meaningful career?

Help me I'm having a bad 1980's flashback!

[Guest Nympho]

What's with all the screaming?

MINE!

[Guest Melody Fate]

Could I possibly borrow your nail clippers for a moment?

But he was just covered in the stuff!

[englishwitch]

But we haven't had the red paints out today.

And it tastes so sweet.

[redsliver]

Did you know ethylene glycol is used to de-ice planes?

Swallow, or its going in your eye.

[quamp]

What do you say to your kids to get them to take their medicine?

You make that sound like it's a bad thing.

[Guest Nympho]

Are you a Snape addict?

I'd rather give Dobby a handjob.

(bug bomb fumes, I don't care what they say you shouldn't enter the house for at least 6 hours after setting one of those buggers off!)

[quamp]

So do you have a fixation with Snape here?

Nice try, but no.

[redsliver]

would you like a Vodka martini?

blowjobs from the blind

[Guest Nympho]

What are you going to call your new charity?

Maybe after a few tequila slammers.

[polywolly]

When are you going for your next prenatal checkup?

Only if the bridge is closed.

[englishwitch]

Do we have to swim to San francisco?

its big, it's warm, it's pulsating and its not me.

[redsliver]

What keeps jabbing me in the back?

I thought I was playing a different game.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Do I have to explain to you how to play strip poker again?

For the same price you can get two hotdogs and a can of spam.

[redsliver]

How much is it going to run me for just the two Taiwanese children?

Stop! No, go back and come up with another world conquering scheme. You can do better.

[quamp]

Do you think I can take over the world by installing Republicans in every government and let them run every government into the ground?

Not really, but I'll bet that Melody Fate would be interested, though.

[redsliver]

Want to go get drunk and go cruising for seventh graders?

Eight hundred kilos of finely cut Columbian white.

[dazzledfirestar]

What is the one thing we need for a good weekend?

cocoa beans and strawberries