Answers First

[Guest Melody Fate]

So, is there anything about him that makes him stand out from the usual crowd?

It's probably in the freezer.

[redsliver]

Have you seen my puppy?

He only does that because he loves you.

[CainTheEternal]

Why is your dog eating my legs?!

Four beneath the boardwalk and 7 buried in the basement.

[Guest Melody Fate]

So, what do you do when your kids piss you off?

But I might get time off for good behavior!

[redsliver]

Why won't you put your shirt back on?

I probably have about three hours of shovelling, two hours of plunging and about thirty minutes of scraping left.

[quamp]

What would happen if a blizzard hit your place and froze your pipes, then you had to use your car?

Oh, come on now. Have I ever lead you astray?

[Nanaea]

You want me to do what?

You want me to do what?

[Guest darqstar]

Would you mind painting my house?

Two tickets to a Backstreet Boys Concert.

[quamp]

What's a good way to torture yourself and a friend?

There's something very disturbing in the way politicians speak.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Why do I get the creeps every time they announce there's a "State of the Union" address coming on TV?

No, I really would rather not do that.

[dazzledfirestar]

Do you want to help me move a body?

A slurpee will help that.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Oh crap! my arm fell off, what do I do?

Chocolate coverd elves.

[dazzledfirestar]

What is the best appitizer to serve to your new in-laws?

Rickman-in-a-box

[Guest Melody Fate]

I have no clue what to get Polywolly for her birthday, any suggestions?

Orlando Bloom in a pair of speedos

[dazzledfirestar]

What did I try to put on my wedding registry?

Detention isn't that bad after all.

[quamp]

What would you say if I told you that you had to spend detention with Alan Rickman?

Someone here has a very unhealthy fixation.

[dazzledfirestar]

What would be the most obvious general statement you could make about the AFF forums?

Red berries are preferable.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Besides chocolate, what other foods do you think should be licked off a naked elf's body?

All the time, baby, all the time.

[Nanaea]

When is your mind in the gutter?

I am not obsessed!

[Guest Melody Fate]

Don't you think you're going a bit overboard with the Snapes wallpaper, the snapes furniture, and the new Snapes religion?

Mmmm... sure, I'll do it, but now I want two cookies.

[quamp]

Would you have sex with me for a cookie?

I just want a pretty girl to like me!

[redsliver]

Why are you wearing Vulcan ears and rolling in chocolate?

Swing and a miss!

[Guest Nympho]

Hey baby, what's your sign?

Only if you promise I won't end up naked in Tiajuana this time.

[englishwitch]

Will you come to the premeir of the New Pirates of the Carribean Movie with me?

It looked pretty solid, so I hit it.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Why is that child crying?

Yeah, I can smell a lawsuit coming.