Solaris

The only reason why I would delete a review is if they just spammed my review board with junk which is rare. Beth

I'm writing a murder mystery where the 'victim' is a horse who has two oval shape burn on his rump. But I do not know what would cause such a burn. I'm thinking it could be a cigarette burn but I want the mystery around what burned him to be something more then just a cigarette burn as one of the subjects that the investigator asked said that he used a stun gun on the horse, but those burns leave fang marks behind. I want something that the forensic investigator to state something else then a cigarette burn which it is and they do a test to find out what the burn is. I want the burn mark to be something that would be in a racing stable and the only thing that I can think of is cigarettes. Thanks for the help. Beth

The reason behind her hatred of all humans is from what happened to her in the workplace of her fellow workers calling her names and basically being bullies towards her because they hated what she had become. She says she hates humans even if she is one herself but as she gets to know the human friends of the Autobots, she starts to realize that there are those who don't see her as strange or hate her for what she looks like, she starts to drop most of her hatred against the human race. But it doesn't happen within minutes of her meeting them, it actaully takes many stories being written before she drops her hate to just a mild annoyance. Beth

I think the author should write as many sex scenes as he or she desires in the story that they write. Beth

I would just use the next chapter to post an author's note to all my reviewers of the previous chapter. But if it is only one chapter, I would create another chapter for answering the reviewers. Beth

I had one story where there was no sex at all in the story. Only one person complained about the lack of sex in the story. But my other stories had sex within two to eight chapters of the story, no one really complained about the lack of sex in the stories. I guess they were smart by reading the codes that I had put up on the summary. Some readers will just read the summary and not even look over the codes themselves to see if the story would be something that they were going to be interested in. But they seem to bypass the codes themselves. Beth

Shinigami trouble is updated with Chapter sixteen. Beth

Monsterking, I have yet to write any story with this character in it yet, where you really see her interact with more then just one human. I'm working on that plot right now. Beth

I don't plan on posting the story in full on the internet as I do intend on publishing it one day. I may go for the self publishng route for this and a few other of my stories. I have had not very good luck with agents. But the main track Santa Anita is shown somewhat in a bad light as the track where this 'murder' happened at and since I don't really want to have trouble with them nor with the Triple Crown folks, I changed the name of the track to Santa Tanita and the name of the Triple Crown to Triple Gold Crown. Beth

I update whenever I am usually done with my chapter. Most of the time it is in the evening of any night. I don't really notice the hits very much, they probably do go up depending on when the readers are reading the stories. Beth

I will tell you this as someone who is writing an original whodunnit and I am going to publish it one day, it is hard to remember who is your killer by the end of the book or story. I find that writing down the plot and who you want to be the killer is on a peice of paper and keep it near you when you are working on the story itself is useful, as it will remind you who the killer is. And one of the things you need to know is the fandom you are writing about. Don't try a fandom or writing something that you are not fully informed about. That just wastes your time and that of the reader if you get it wrong. Beth

I have updated both the Shinigami trouble and The Captains' meeting. The Captains' meeting is now completed and Shinigami trouble is on Chapter Fifteen. Enjoy. Beth

I usually get a great idea for what a character is going to do further in the story and I forget to write it down and when I get to that part, I forgot what the great idea was and I kick myself because I forgot what it was! Beth

*Clears throat* Talking about the origins of the creation of this lovely site is what I love to talk about. Back in September 2002, FF.net decided to kill off any NC-17 stories, remove them entirely from their site and I mean entirely. Ayla Olsen (the founder and first owner of the site) created Adultfanfiction to take the stories that was impending to be lost due of the purge from FF.net with full intent on having a site meant for adults by adults to post their R to NC-17 stories at. First the site was on Geocities, we grew huge there, so it meant a search for a new host and a domain name was bought adult-fanfiction.org, and then we moved to Nexcess, where we have stayed with, with one switch to another host but in the end we returned to Nexcess. And I am one of the early members to be on Aff and I am a former owner of the site. Beth

I have to agee with you there, shinigamiinochi, I would love to have Bush impeached like Clinton was. I'm pissed that Bush didn't even get any shit about his lying of governmental stuff like lying about the real reason why we're in Iraq. And it was all for the oil that Iraq has that is the real reason behind our occupation of the country. Ever since we got into that country, the price of oil has been on the rise. Bush is just filling his pocket with oil money. Beth

I know that I have changed the location of the race track in my original story Murder at the racetrack and changed the names of the races that are very recognizable and a few names of the horses. But now I am thinking that I should have left it as is but if I get it published like I am wanting to do, the people who own the names may come after me for money using the names like I did. Did I do the right thing as in changing the names about? Beth

I write OC in different fandoms but I keep the past of the OC a mystery till I need to give it out. But for my original stories, I usually discuss it within a few chapters or so. Beth

Part 6; What are Mary Sue/Gary Stus? This article will deal with this subject and maybe bring some light to the names Mary Sue/Gary Stu. Mind you, I do not mind Mary Sues, I like them and I like writing them. Oh yes, I do write canon fics too, but not that often. I will after a few months start redoing certain parts of my story that my characters are in. Sometimes, writing an original character is hard and then after you find your notch, you start to redo certain sections of your story and your OC starts changing with the changes. I do not bash Sues for being there. It just means that the author starting off on the story and give her or him time to find her or his notch. But there are authors out there who will not rewrite their original character nor their story as they find that the story is perfect as is even with grammar, spelling and punctuation errors speckled throughout the story. And if you write out the story with the proper grammar, spelling, punctuation and sentences done correctly, sometimes the story itself can be considered good even if there is an original character in the story. But that is rare when an Original Character is written well into an already established story with characters that are well loved. But there are several reasons why Mary Sues sometimes do not work for fanfiction stories. But do take heed, you can always change the character around. 1) They warp canon, both characters' personalities and relationships and the story itself. This is probably the single biggest reason Mary Sues suck. Face it, canon counts. Otherwise, what was written is not fanfiction, it is original fiction dressed up in a fan costume. 2) They show a lack of respect for the universe they are set in, its creator(s) and fans. This is especially true of the ones authored by people who get prissy when offered constructive critics and battles with #1 for the top reason Mary Sues suck. 3) They're boring. Really, characters without flaws, characters who cannot grow or change because they are perfect already, are very, very dull to read. Fun to write, fun to daydream, maybe, but fun to read? Not really. 4) Everyone has the Mary Sue fantasy, but honestly, people's private delusions of grandeur really should remain private. Nobody wants to know what I think "perfect me" is like, and I don't want to know what anyone else's version of their perfect selves is like, either. 5) They're just plain unrealistic. I mean, they all have some super-great-awesome-kick-ass skill or ability or physical quality, for one thing. Often they outshine characters that in their canon are the prettiest or best at something, for example a M-E character that is a better archer than Legolas and prettier than Arwen and Galadriel combined. They sometimes also come from unrealistic unions- an M-E elf/dwarf hybrid being one example of this. 6) They often come along with poor grammar of one sort or another, be it bad spelling, misplaced commas, incorrect capitals and more, and sometimes even in painful combinations. 7) Sues ruin the story for believability. 8) When there's a Sue, it's a sure bet that the fandom the story is supposed to be based in has been changed in at least one way. 9) When there's a Sue present, it's a good bet that characters that are a part of the fandom are generally turned into 2D stereotypes of what the author thinks of the character. 10) When there's a Sue present, the author's lust object is out of character, doing and saying things they normally wouldn't, because that's what the author imagines they'd fulfill whatever fantasies they've had. 11) Sues show a disturbing disregard for natural law and the fact that you can't pick up complex skills, like the use of weapons, in two lessons or less (usually 'less'). 12) They're annoyingly perfect. 13) They whine about their Tragic Past, which is some huge sob story. 14) Authors who write Sues with disabilities are, at least 99% of the time, not disabled themselves and portray the disability according to what they *think* they know about it, and never according to what they've taken the time to find out from sources with accurate information. Or the Disabled! Sue only shows signs of her disability when it's a convenient plot device. 15) A story with a Sue in it is almost never about writing for the joy of writing and doing a quality job, but for the author to put her/his fantasies about a character (or the actor(ess) who played them) in writing as quickly as possible so they can giggle and sigh over it with their friends. Now, there are some people just plain hate all Mary Sues or Gary Stus. There is no problem with hating that phrase, but when you start really flaming the author (whether or not they are male or female) for writing one, that’s when you have crossed the line of just hating the Sue to hating the author that wrote the story. You truly need to step away and look at yourself in the mirror. Let’s say that you find a story that was done in 2000 and it’s now the year 2004, you figure the author left that story as is; you do not even know if the story is being worked on four years later as you don’t even bloody care to e-mail a simple question to the author to find out. You flame the author heavily about the Sue she or he wrote the day you found the story, on a Live Journal community. Then, when you go back to save the story to post to a message board to bash the author even more you find that the story has been changed and the supposed statement you read is not there. The author had posted a message in her or his author’s note stating that she or he had been working on correcting a few errors that she or he had found in the story for the past two weeks. You figure that it was because of your constructive criticism that pushed her to correct her story. That is a mistake, it only meant that she or he has been working on her or his story correct obvious flaws in the story way before you even found the story and that the author had recently found information way before you even saw the story, that made part of the plot not at all possible. Now I wrote a Harry Potter story, where I took the premise of the story from another writer who is no longer alive, she wrote about Dumbledore being Harry’s grandfather and being abused by Vernon. Now I was flamed for that minor mistake that I had did over four years ago! I wrote the story in 2000, not just recently like too many people ASSUMED THAT I DID. I had updated it IN APRIL OF 2004; the one sole reason was I found out that Dumbledore could not nor would he ever be Harry’s grandfather by the author herself via her website. Did anyone e-mail me to ask me if I was going to be updating the story because the information I have stated in the story no longer is possible as the author herself has so stated that Dumbledore is not his grandfather and never will be? No! I didn’t receive one single e-mail from anyone asking me about that story! I would have been more than happy to had answered those e-mails letting them know that I am working on the story as I learned by the author’s website that some of the information in the story is not valid and I am changing the hospital scene around and the claim that Dumbledore did to get Harry out of the hospital, since I had found that it is impossible for him to be Harry’s grandfather. Now there are ways, of writing Original Characters into your stories without hurting the storyline or anything like that. But you must understand that once someone sees the words Original Characters or OC as the fans call them, you will have a hard time getting them to think of them not to be Mary Sues or Gary Stus. Now to write a good Original Characters and not make them Mary Sues is to add faults to them. Most people will add faults to their characters that are not that noticeable to most readers and those readers will assume the OC is a Mary Sue and will flame that person about it. But if the reader continues on reading the story without stopping to flame the author, they may see the faults of that OC and find that the author is doing a good job at writing a story. But most people will not give the author a chance to grow as a writer just by reading a few of their stories, most writers find their strides in writing fanfiction about twenty to fifty stories down the line of that one fandom if they are planning on remaining in that fandom or it may take five stories to figure out their plan for their OC. Give the author a chance by reading more of their stories and if you know of a good or a bad fault that the character can have, let them know. Staying silent on the good or bad fault for that character is not good as the author may be trying to figure out what kinds of faults that the woman or man has and you might have that good or bad fault that they are looking for. Anyways, back to the article, Gary Stus (also known as Marty Stus) are far rarer in fandom, partly because fanfic is predominantly written by women but also because many fandoms have a shortage of female characters. Some Gary Stus tend to be written into the canon already, enabling them to “hide in plain sight” and yet still be there. I have found most people don’t mind these Stus compared to Mary Sues, but if you write a good character that has flaws they will not be called Gary Stus or Canon Stus. So in the end, Mary Sue is the OFC many authors create at some point, the one who's beautiful, charming, funny, brave, etc. Most fanfic writers are women so they tend to write OFC Mary Sues. The writer's favorite male canon character or it could even be a female canon character (it would make that canon character be a lesbian then) lusts after the OFC. Many of the other canon characters want to be her friend, talk about her and think about her constantly. The OFC often has an exotic background, an unusual name, and special powers. Frequently she's related to one or more canon characters. All too often she's a wonderful singer and/or dancer. She becomes the center of the story, saves the day, and winds up either surrounded by admiring canon characters or dying in a magnificent self-sacrifice, to be mourned for all eternity. She's too good to be true, literally. The other definition of Mary Sue is the author's projection of herself into the story, a sort of stand-in. I personally don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, if done right the character can be different. Give your character flaws. Let your character be arrogant, or clumsy, or judgmental, or have a bad temper. Let her make mistakes. A perfect character is boring to read, and flaws can be as fun to write as good qualities. Don't let her constantly save the day. No one can be around for every emergency, and no one can be the right person for every job every time, so why should your character? Give the regular characters a chance to shine. This now ends the articles that I have wrote. Thank you for reading them.

Part 5; The Beta Readers. You finally got through your anger at your reviewer or reviewers who told you to go get a beta reader before posting anymore of your story but you are wondering about something that the reviewer stated but never really explained. What are beta readers? You wonder about. I’ll tell you what they are. They are what most people consider to be editors for fanfiction writers or authors who do not have their own editors. Some people considers them to be very essential to their stories and will not post anything on the net or to their e-mail groups till their stories have been read by their beta readers and corrected by them and then the author does a rewrite per what their beta readers state about that chapter or story. Depending on what fandom you are a part of, there will be those who specializes in helping writers with their stories. Sometimes you might need more than one beta readers depends on how many stories you have written or in the process of writing. I feel that you should have at least three beta readers helping you with your story. The following people are beta readers and they are very good at what they do. To get the e-mail address for the beta you want to contact, just push the spaces together in your e-mail address bar and send them a hello, I see that you are a beta reader on call and ask them if they would like to beta your story or join the group and post the story you wish to be beta read. All the e-mail addresses you will have to push together as I separated them so the spam-bots do not collect their addresses. Mind you, folks, these people will tell you right off what they think of your story or stories but they will also help you make your story to be the very best that you can do. Most people want the best story you can give to them so give them the best by using these beta readers if they are in the fandom that you are writing in and there are yahoogroups out there that are for beta readers, so if you do not find a beta reader here, go to yahoogroups to find a beta reader. The one thing that one of my beta readers told me, write for yourself but also write for the joy of writing. Let the words lead you into a world of fantasy and reality. Once the words flow, you are assured of doing the best. With the aid of a beta reader, your work will be the best that you can do. WfR, e-mail: writerfromrivendell @ yahoo.com: fandoms this beta reader will do are LotR and C.S. Lewis. She will take files RTF and TXT. Kaltia, e-mail: rymeria at hot mail dot com . Her fandom she will do is Forgotten Realms, will take Word, word pad/text and HTML, will take up to a week. Tend to do straight forward beta reading, like putting the correct spellings/grammar in red next to the mistakes. Won't praise, won't offer anything other than corrections. Araeph, e-mail: rebs0825 @ cs.com: Fandoms she does is Pirates of the Caribbean. Characteristics of my beta-ing. I focus not only on working the Mary Sue elements out of stories, but spelling and grammar errors as well as historical accuracy. In addition, I speak Spanish, which may be helpful in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" setting, and I'm familiar enough with Latin to attempt translation, though I'd double check it with a friend of mine. (Just don't get me started on the Aztecs...I'll go on and on about them. They're really fascinating.) I do encourage as well as critique. I'll take html, Microsoft Word and Notepad formats. My computer's probably compatible with more formats than that, but I'm not the most technologically literate of people. As for finishing the proofreading of a fic...the time it'll take really depends on the nature of the story. I'd say a week is a good estimate. Gwen, e-mail: deathnitenshi at cheerful dot com . Fandoms: Most of my scant beta experience comes from beta-ing Gundam Wing and Redwall fics, so that's where I'll naturally go. Files: .doc, .txt and .rtf are fine with me. .htm/.html isn't preferable because I'll end up copy and pasting it into word anyway. Length of time: It really depends, you know. In June and December I can probably take less than a week, but for the rest of the months it shouldn't take longer than three weeks. I do the normal technical errors, and I also do character and plot probability, and you can use me as a sounding board to test out ideas too. I critic in a straightforward manner, not hard, but not soft either. The groups that I suggest that you join are as follows. For Harry Potter fans: harry_potter_fanfiction @ yahoogroups.com, I’m a co-mod of this group. You can ask the people there for beta readers as they will probably know some who can help you. For LoTR fans: LegMiddleEarth @ yahoogroups.com, that’s a group that I am a member of, you can probably ask for a beta reader there and find a few who are willing to beta read your story. For all stories: beta-read @ yahoogroups.com, that group allows you to ask for beta readers to read your original or fanfiction stories. Another Beta reader group: Beta_readers_ @ yahoogroups.com, that group you can ask for a beta reader to read your stories. If the Beta Readers, I have posted do not do the stories you have written about, you can run a Beta Reader Yahoogroup Search for them. But if you are searching for Harry Potter Beta Readers, you can go here to find them. Now hopefully, you will find a good beta reader to work with you on your story. Be sure to keep an open mind about the work the beta reader is doing for you, as you may end up getting new ideas on that character and pretty soon, you have written another three of four scenes. There are groups out there that will tear your Original Character apart telling you in no simple terms that you wrote a Mary Sue or a Canon Sue or a Gary Stu or a Canon Stu. They will be merciless about tearing you apart about it. I don’t mean oh my word; she made Harry into a bully or that Draco fell in love with Ginerva! Those would be a Canon Stu and not good at all. I’ll be getting into that topic in the next article. Next column is: What are Mary Sues and Gary Stus?

Part 4; The Reviews. Congratulations, you have finished writing your story and have now posted the first chapter of the story to the internet. You have decided to post your story in chapter format. You are excited about having it up on the site and you find that you got a review on the story. You, now, wonder what type of feedback you got from those who read your story. There are at least three types of feedback you can get. One is the constructive critique, the flaming critique and the fan girl review. Now you are probably wondering what I mean by flaming critique. I’ll explain that later on in this column. I’ll start off with the best one. Constructive critique can be your best friend and sometimes it is not. But listen, if you heed what is said in the constructive critique, it will be your best friend and plus not letting your ego be hurt by it either is good. I have been hurt by constructive critiques when they told me that my main character was a Mary Sue and she’s not, it is that most people see original characters as Mary Sues or Gary Stu if they are male. But I’ll explain what those names mean in another column. But back to the constructive critique, it is where your story is given a very thorough reading by someone and they help you find some mistakes you left in your story and plus they usually will say that they like the story, the characters, the idea of the plot and other stuff as well as helping you with your grammar and spelling. Here is a Constructive critique I got on my story The Temptation of Isildur. ‘One nitpick "the retreating backside of Isildur" might be better as "Isildur's retreating back" since the second is shorter, and "backside" sounds like, um, something else. That said, I'm impressed with this piece. It does require one to keep straight the book/movie Isildurs, but that's not too difficult. I keep several versions of various characters in my head. Great fic!’ Now that was a very helpful review and it was constructive! It actually helped me correct the errors in the story that I’m working on offline. The lady was not mean in anyway possible in her review. She actually liked my story. I have stalled on that story since I posted the first chapter up. I doubt I’ll be able to finish it. Here is a well rounded critique of a generic Action/Adventure story with an original character who sounds and acts like a Mary Sue. ‘This is going to be a hard but very rounded critique of your story. First: Paragraph your dialogue from the scenes. They are all blurred together to where it is very hard for a reader to read your story, therefore they will not finishing reading your story and backing out of the story. Second: You might want to get yourself a beta reader, that's someone who reads stories to help the writer write better, they really make sure your plot, characters and everything else goes smoothly. Third: I highly suggest you read the other stories that are posted to the site and see how they write their stories as that will give you some ideas on how to write a good story. Fourth: Your main female character sounds like a Mary Sue, with her handling a sword without background knowledge of how to use one. Come on! That sounds too much like a Mary Sue to me. You might want to change her about some and add some faults. Other than that, the story has possibility of being a good not a great story.’ That review is a very well rounded critique. If you happen to get that review, it is not a flame or a big diss to your story as the reviewer is trying to help you write to your very best ability. And this is another good critique of one of my stories; Hermione’s Secret. ‘That was really upsetting: ( ... you described everything with such vivid imagery, it sounds like you've been thru this yourself. The only criticism I have is that it ended too abruptly, but besides that it was very good.’ And yes, I did somewhat end it too fast. I may one day go back over the story’s end and revamp it. Now you are probably wondering what a Fangirl’s review looks like is. Here are some examples of those Fangirl’s reviews. I also want to state that they are by far the more coherent ones out there. Another site that’s name shall not be mentioned, their Fangirl’s reviews are more chat speak and not as coherent as most fan girl’s reviews are. ‘Nice lemonness and bra briefs... funny name, lol all your fic needs is more kurama!! XD ’ ‘funny hey if koto needs any help next time I know just the right guy for her (me)’ But here are some generic Fangirl’s reviews that may show up on reviews. ‘hey, i love ur fic! Wow, I luv u! U always update and write such awsome chapters! I luv your story! PLEASE! I realy love this story!’ ‘This thing is hilarious!! Very original too!’ ‘I luv it! Keep writing!’ ‘*Giggles* I love this! :-)’ ‘LIEK OMG I LUV DIS STROY !!111 PLZ PLZ COTNIU NOW!!1’ ‘wow this sotry is so kewl!! i love it!1 more AAAHHH I NEED MORE NOW!!1’ ‘brilent.’ ‘keep writing please it geting good !.’ Most of the time you will find that the Fangirl’s reviews are praises only and some times they flame the flamers. But the main thing is that they never give you helpful advice on how to grow as a writer and the most part is that they usually end up misspelling words or shortchanging the words themselves. I find that they are not even worth reading as they only promote bad writing skills. And yes, they do promote bad writing skills as they do nothing for you beyond stroking your ego into thinking you wrote a good story. Although, Fangirl reviews are lacking in intellectual qualities, the people are only trying to be nice. It may be in a bad way but they shouldn't be completely chided. The last groups of reviewers are the Flamers. They do nothing but flame your work telling you in no certain terms that you should crawl back under the rock that you emerged from and stay there as you ruined the story by that story you did. Actually, there are three types of Flamers. The anti-yaoi and the canon flamers and the regular flamers; all three are bad. I’ll be showing you all three types. Sometimes you may end up finding a reviewer who doesn’t even like fanfiction and will flame you about it. The first ones will be the anti-yaoi flames. They are those people who do not like to read slash stories, usually these people will not spell check their words so many words will be misspelled. ‘GOD YOUR GAY...’ ‘Quality, nice and original (actually I didin't read it beacase must of this crap is and putting us proper fiction writers out of a job you c**ts K**ts!’ ‘I've read so much of your sick fictions that I came to believe that you're one of those gay men too. Don't ASK ME, why I read this, ask yourself why you posted it if it's flamable. I want to make sure none of the sick people like you(who gets loose from the mental hospital) post fics here again. I usually hate flaming people, in fact, this is my third, but in your case it's an exception.’ Now the canon flamers review. These people are the ones who will tell you to read the books and stick to the characters roles in the book, basically staying true to the books. ‘Please, in the name of God, please, go and pick up the book! You will understand more about the characters than seeing the bloody damn movie! The movie doesn’t even tell you everything! You made the characters do things that are not in their character to do, for an example: Legolas fawning over a female like Eowyn or an original female character.’ ‘Insert main character’s name here, would never do something like that! Character’s gender would never do that to gender’s friends.’ ‘Go back to that foul place you call home and pick up the books before you write another fanfiction story. If you want to write a story about the characters, at least learn how to spell their names correctly! Gandalf is not spelled Gandolf but Gandalf! Legolas is not spelled Legalos and Aragorn is not spelled Arigorn!’ And it could go on and on. And the last is the regular flamers review, only one of them is actually a funny flame review. ‘You should crawl back under the rock that you emerged from and stay there as you ruined the story by that story you did!’ ‘Eww do not force your sick opinions on every1 else!!!1 You corrupt children with your SICK SICK views!11 Sick!!1 God will PUNISH U!!1’ ‘You evil b*tch you! Finish this story now or I’ll throw you into the paper shredder!’ Now, if you want to respond to any of these flamers, I highly suggest you back away from the computer right now and take a long walk or take a shower or a bubble bath. Yes, walk away from your computer to think about what you should say to the flamer. The flamers always want a rise out of you or anyone else who likes your story. Just say ‘duly noted’ to his or her flame and they’ll be scratching their heads like uh, what you say? In other words, flamers are not worth your time or effort to change their opinion of your story, if they hate it that’s their problem. Not yours. Now if you wish to respond to a flamer, this is a suggestion of what to say to them. You may want to tell them in the author’s note of your next chapter of your story or update your story to add the author’s note at the end of the chapter or if they left you an e-mail address to respond to then do it by e-mail. I prefer to e-mail them my critique as that way they are able to respond to my critique privately. Here is a reply to a flamer that I did concerning one of my stories. Hi so and so, Thank you for your review but I feel compelled to e-mail you (or create a new author’s note to deal the reviews) about the review you left. 1. The main character is not my favorite character. My favorite happens to be a minor character. 2. No, the female original character is not a Sue. Have you seen the movie Mulan? It is there I got the idea for this character. She will not be getting the man you might think she will be getting at the end. 3. There is a reason for the main male character to be angry at a woman posing as a male at that time. But it will be revealed that he was wrong in having that anger. 4. I know my spelling is not that good nor is my punctuation skills. I try my best to do it as good as I can. Once again, thanks. And your name goes here. That is all you need to say to a flamer. If they flame you again, they do not want to listen to your statement about your story but only want to bash your story. You do not have to listen to those people who continue to flame you after you gave them an explanation of your story. Those people do not want to stop flaming you knowing that they once got a rise out of you and if you rose to flame them, they’ll keep up flaming your story. But if you didn’t rise up and flame the flamer, they’ll leave you alone. Usually! Usually! Sometimes, you will see them to flame you on other stories that you write. There are people out there who will not stop flaming you cause of your story, they hate anything that you write and it doesn’t matter what story it is or even if they read it or not. They’ll flame you nonetheless. You might have been told to get a beta reader in their reviews of your story. That is probably the only best thing that they could say to you and it’s something you should get for your story, just to make sure that everything is running smoothly and nothing is out of place like grammar, punctuation and sentence formatting. A friend of mine told me, “Writing is a two way street, there is no one way street, only two way streets and those who listen to the reviewers are blessed with information how to improve their story. Those who do not are not blessed and their story will not be to their best ability.” I’ll go into more details on beta readers and where to find them in my next column. So remember when you get a review consider it to be an honor to have someone tell you what they think of your story. If it is a critique of your story telling you of errors in the story or that there is something lacking in the story itself, it is a constructive review and you should heed it as everyone who reviews your story only wants to help you improve your writing and the story that you share with us all. Next up is Beta readers.

Part 3; The Dialogue/sentence structures. You have now finished writing the disclaimer and figured out what the rating should be for the story. You immediately start working on the story itself writing fast and hard trying to get the entire story down so you can post it to the site. You are working hard on the story. But wait a minute there, you may think you know what you are doing with the dialogue and sentence structure may be wrong. That will get your readers to do several things: 1. Hit the backspace and leave the story to go to another story that is better written. This is usually done. 2. Leave you a hard criticizing review telling you that they could barely read the story itself. That you need to have spaces between who was talking and the scenes themselves as you just have a jumbled mess of words that made reading the story a headache. 3. Send you an e-mail with a full detail of what was wrong with your story and suggests that you go over your story with a fine tooth comb and correct your mistakes. I do suggest that you listen to two and three of the list that I have stated. For your reviewers are only trying to help you write to the best of your ability. 4. Leave what some older members of the fanfiction community would call a flaming review basically flaming you for not writing a good story. Even if the story was good but the layout and the sentence structure/dialogue was wrong, they will leave a flaming review. I’ll get into this subject more in another column. 5. Also, don’t use abbreviations or numbers for words. Write out the whole word, don’t abbreviate it or use numbers to replace the word. Your fans will appreciate that courtesy. Let us talk about the dialogue shall we? In our stories and novels we can do without the pictures but we cannot do without the conversation. Dialogue must further the plot and express character. They also, if you look at some books, the dialogue scenes are short and brief, none of these paragraphs upon paragraphs without some type of interruption. Of course, there are some books that can get away with it - mainly because it forwards the plot of the story. You know what has to be said, what the reader will want to know about the character, what details are necessary to advance the plot. Dialogue is one of your best weapons in your arsenal to accomplish this. But you must not reveal that this is being done for the reader’s benefit. The effect should be that the characters are talking solely to themselves and the reader has just happened onto the scene and is eavesdropping. Also, all spoken lines should begin with this “ and end with this ”. Too many times, have I read a fanfiction story where the sentences are not clearly marked by those two symbols. This is just an example of what your story would really look like if you didn’t put the “” where they should be located at. This is from my What if story with Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory. Yes, I know it. You think we might have to use it? asked Cedric, turning to look at Harry. I don't think we need to use it. We can use the stun spell, Harry. I don't know but I think we might have to use the Death Curse. Look! Death Eaters! Lord Voldemort's loyal subjects. said Harry, pointing towards the thirteen black cloaked forms approaching them. Harry and Cedric quickly went into battle stance when they heard a voice hiss, Kill the spare. Save Potter! Cedric! NOW!! yelled Harry, as he screamed off Avada Kedavra several times over his wand sent out green flashes hitting several of the Death Eaters. Cedric did the same as they ducked behind gravestones. Now if you wanted it to be correct, here is the correct version of this chapter. "Yes, I know it. You think we might have to use it?" asked Cedric, turning to look at Harry. "I don't think we need to use it. We can use the stun spell, Harry." "I don't know but I think we might have to use the Death Curse. Look! Death Eaters! Lord Voldemort's loyal subjects." said Harry, pointing towards the thirteen black cloaked forms approaching them. Harry and Cedric quickly went into battle stance when they heard a voice hiss, "Kill the spare. Save Potter!" "Cedric! NOW!!" yelled Harry, as he screamed off Avada Kedavra several times over his wand sent out green flashes hitting several of the Death Eaters. Cedric did the same as they ducked behind gravestones. That looks more professional doesn’t it? There is one thing you need to be aware of in fanfiction. There is some slang that people do use but depending on which fandom you are writing in, it does not belong in your story. You must show respect for the dialect that the characters you are writing about. For example: Legolas does not use slang of the modern day teeny bopper and suddenly act like a teeny bopper, like falling in love at first sight, elves do not fall in love at first sight ever. That makes him be out of character and will result in many angry reviewers. And if your female character comes from a different culture than your own, or isn't human, make sure she acts, thinks, and talks the way someone from that culture would. British characters, for instance, use a different slang than do American characters. If you need to know what slang words your British character might use, please ask your e-mail groups or go to a message board and request help for my British character needs some slang words and I don’t know any. They’ll be more than welcome to help you. Take for an example: Chat speech or chat speak has no place in fanfiction, it doesn’t belong and don’t even think you can get away with it either for your story will be reviewed by people and they will not be thrilled with the story itself. Here is one example of chat speech. It wuz time 4 skool to start and all of the ppl who went to Hogworts Skool wuz super super excited bcuz they lurved going to skool, even tho this crazy guy wants them all totaly dead and torturing and stuff, but they loves it anyways. 1 of the kids wuz names Harry Poter and he wuz ultra cool and stuff bcuz he had a scare on his head and he wuz realy smart and hot and stuff, and he had these 2 frinds named Ron and Hermine. Ron wuz a total poser, loser guy that Hary felt bad 4, and Herminne was a total brain, not as gud as Harry, but still smart, and she liked Hary a lot. Now, if this author’s story had been done correctly, her story would look something like this. It is a bit better but not good. I really had a hard time even after I tried my very best to fix it to where you and I could read it. It was time for school to start and all of the children who went to Hogwarts School were excited because they loved going to school, even though this crazy guy wanted to torture those who were Mudblood and stuff, but they loved it anyway. One of the kids was named Harry Potter and he was ultra cool and stuff because he had a scare on his head and he was really smart and hot and stuff and he had these two friends named Ron and Hermione. Ron was a total loser guy that Harry felt bad for, and Hermione was a total brain, not as good as Harry, but still smart, and she liked Harry a lot. The author of that story was informed about it in a polite manner about that her story was done all in chat speech and they, her readers didn’t understand chat speech. Can she write it all out in English? Those reviewers asked her gently but the young lady refused to even consider it as she liked writing in chat speech as you call it and I will not change it. Teen speech is another no no for fanfiction. I have seen many fanfiction where the story itself was ruined by the teen speech that the author thought would make her or his story cool, when in fact it killed it. Sentence structure is easy. When someone talks begin a new sentence and have it end when that person stops talking and then let the scene take over from there till someone needs to say something. Don’t just push it all together and say it’s done. Here is part of a story that I found on one of the other sites out there and I must say, I couldn’t read it at all. I removed the characters name and replaced it with Name removed, for her privacy as I doubt people would really want to read her story. Once there was a girl called Name removed who was just a regular girl well except in one thing she could speak a language that no one else understands. And she didn't know how she can speak this langauge because she only studied Spoanish in school, which she wasn't very good at even though she was real clever she just didn't like Spansih becauset he teacher was a bitch. And sometimes she would start to talk in this wierd like made-up way to her friends and they were like 'shut up Name removed, stop talking like that and showing of becuase noone nows what you are saying and its not funny" and she tells them that shes not doing it on purpose it just hapens and I cant help it. anyway one day name removed went to the movies with her freinds and they went to see Lord of the Rings and it was rilly cool even though it was a fantsay movie and generaly thats sad and for geeks but this movie was good anyways. And in the movie some fo the charectors are speaking this langauge that sounds kind of familier and name removed says 'hey that's the lnaguage that I speak sometimes' and her freidns and her are all freaked out by this cuz, like how can she know this laguage thats in a movie and not even real or anything. So when she goes home and she tells her mom about it (her dad dosent live with them cuz her mom was real young when she had her and he didn't want to know or that's whay her mom says at least) and her mom says 'oh didnt you now you're dad was an elf and thats why you can undersand that langause becuz you are a half an elf. That is as much as I will let you be tortured with. This story had no defined sentence structure whatsoever, there are multiple spelling errors and the main female character is what many people call a Mary Sue. That story is probably the worst story that you could do. This girl been told over and over again about the mistakes written in this story itself, this happens to be one of 34 reviews she got – some quite nasty. This one happened to be nicer than some of the other reviews. The characters from the book are totally out of character. You have a lack of paragraph structure and dialogue structure in this story. You put author's note in the story where it distracts the reader. This story plot is not even that good to continue reading after the first line! This story is not a very good one. The girl never appeared on the site again to fix her story. I am assuming the girl decided to abandon her story on the site and probably never decided to write another story. I do not know for the girl’s bio page has not been touched since she posted the story and a review to her own story to ‘talk’ to her reviewers. Well, I will be going deep on how to leave reviews and how to handle each type of reviews in another article. But if you want to write to the best of your ability, you will have to make sure you do everything possible to write a good story. Some people will get bored with too much detail. It gets hard to decide how much detail is too much. This is a scene from my story The Hunt for Sailor Earth! The great doors to the great hall were opened as Shawn, wearing formal dress armor with a greenish-blue split skirt. Right next to her wearing a pale bluish-green dress that stopped just a little past her feet, Terra had to lift some of her dress so she would not step on it and fall. The first Soldier Senshi, Terra saw was Ares, Soldier Mars. He came up to her wearing a red with purple edging around the armor that was a bit more formal than his normal armor that he wore. The other Soldier Senshi followed Ares’ move. Zeus, Soldier Jupiter came up and kissed her hand. He was wearing a dark green with a darker edging around the armor. Kafir stepped forward and greeted her. He was wearing a black armor with purple edging around it. Hermes stepped forward as he, too, greeted her. He and his fellow Soldiers were all were wearing more formal version of their usual armor in their respective planetary colors. I was starting to repeat stuff with each Soldier Senshi, so I stopped after the third Soldier approached my character. If you want to give a lot of detail, you could go on and on about what their armor looked like or even described what the room looked like. But it was not good as the dialogue and the sentence structure was being repeated over again, which isn’t good for any scene. I could go on and on about dialogue and sentence structure. I do suggest you read a few books; The Complete Guide Writing Fiction. By Barnaby Conrad. Grammatically Correct. By Anne Stilman The Elements of Style. By William Strunk jr. and E.B. White. Read all three books, even if they were written for authors who write fiction novels, it also works for us, fanfiction writers. Those books will help you grow as a writer. My next column will deal with reviews/reviewers and what types of reviews you may get from your readers and also how to deal with some of the types of reviews.

Part 2; The Ratings. You now have finished writing the disclaimer and have started to work on the story itself, but wait, what about the ratings of the story. You thought hard about what the story is going to be so now you need to figure out which rating is most suitable for your story so your readers may be able to read the story without being offended or racing to report you to your site’s host or sending you a vile e-mail flaming you for that story that should have been rated higher than what you had rated it. Like for an example; you didn’t mind to rate the story anything more than a PG-13 level and the story turned out to be more of an R rating. You adamantly refuse to up the rating because it would take readers away from the story. That may get your story removed from the site; you are asking for the story to be deleted from the admin. You should know what the ratings are for your story before you post it and give the proper rating to the story so your readers know what they are getting into. Don’t decide to post an R rated story and rate it a G, that’s stupid and asking for trouble. The following ratings are as follows: Also, I’m using some movies, some fanfiction and maybe even some books to show some examples of ratings. But it is your job as the author of the story to have your story properly rated. G: General audiences includes young children, this is mainly used for some cartoons like Smurfs and a few other cartoons and shows and movies that are targeted to the younger children, like The Little Mermaid, The Little Mermaid two. PG: Parental Guidance, as some content in this movie/TV shows aren’t suitable for young children. May contain scenes where mild violence is seen. Take the cartoon movie The Prince of Egypt for an example, it is rated PG. Some books are even considered PG like the Harry Potter series; they might even also be considered by some to be PG-13 or even R. PG-13: No children under 13. Violence, hints of killing, occasional swear words, subtle hints of sexual content. For example: The movie Lord of The Rings is rated PG 13, mainly because of the fighting scenes in the movie itself, there is The Mummy, where adventure and suspense is in the movie itself, Jurassic Park is rated PG 13 because of the adventure for survival in a park overrun by cloned dinosaurs. R: Stories that contain strong language, sexual references meaning two people kissing and then later you see them in bed is considered to be a sexual encounter as the reader can use their imagination of what had happened next, drinking, non-graphical violence and/or gore. The movie Species is rated a hard R because of the strong language, the sexual references, nudity, the violence and gore it has. NC-17: Adults 17 and older are allowed to read the story! Meaning it is very heavy in the sexual content, like the author goes into detail about the sexual encounter, including the use of genitalia words, it is no longer considered sexual reference, graphic violence and/or gore. There are a lot of stories out there that have that rating on it for it is very graphic in describing what is going on in the scene with two people. At that point of the story, where the author starts writing sexually explicit content it warrants the 'NC-17' rating. Now for some examples of what some ratings that some stories got for their story, they are as follows. And yes, I am using my stories as examples. The links will take you to a new window. The rating G goes to this story; How did Bertie Bott's All Flavor Beans get their flavor? The reason why it got this rating is because it is of the contents of the story is open for all ages to read. The rating PG goes to this story; Aftereffects. The reason because of there is suicide in this story and some angst in the story itself. This rating PG-13 goes to this story; Too Close to Home. The reason why it got this rating is because of the topic of child abuse in the story itself. The rating R goes to this story; The Dark Elf. The reason why it got this rating is because of the sexual content and that there are scenes of violence in the story itself. The rating NC-17 goes to this story; My Halloween Night Lover. The reason why it got this rating is because of the topic of the rape and that I do show two people having sex. Now, you should figure out which rating is the best for your story by the examples that I have given out to you. You should be able to post your story honestly enough to where the readers know that they are going to be reading a story that you, the author, has taken time to create with by the rating level on the story. They’ll know what they are going to be reading. My next column will start to deal with the story itself. I will be talking about the dialogue, sentence structure and how it should look on the page.

How do you write a story? By Beth Brownell Part 1; The Disclaimer/Author’s note/you name it. So, you want to write a story for submission to the fanfiction site or your own website. What should you put on paper or computer screen first? There's an easy answer to that - a disclaimer! Many authors just post a disclaimer followed by exactly what they have written, with no editing or precursor, and regardless of etiquette. While this is all you truly need, it does not help readers at all and may even keep them away from reading your story. Really, the first thing you should put up is an author’s note that deals with the story's content and theme. When people, mainly the newbies, (that’s what we, older, established authors call the new writers) do not do that it forces a reader to either read into a story to find out what is in it, or to skip the story entirely. The new author may assume all they need to put up is the story title, author’s name and one line disclaimer that states 'I don't own it etc,' or even just a small author's note asking people to enjoy the story. This is partially right. You need much more than just that, my dear authors. You need to state everything up front for the reader. An author should list the MAIN canon characters that are included and are the focus of the story. There are some fiction stories that have upwards to twenty characters or more in them. A complete list of characters does not help as much as a list of who the main characters are going to be. Also, if the main characters are Original Characters rather than Canon Characters; this mere fact unto itself has a remarkable tendency to scare readers away regardless of the quality of the fiction. If you entice them with a great synopsis, they'll be more likely to read your story than one with no summary. Sometimes, new authors won’t even do that. They think if you, the reader had read this on the story page before you reach the actual story itself - - The new life begins? By Solaris Rating: PG Genres: Action/Adventure Words: 3525 Warnings: none Published: 07/21/03 Summary: What would the students and teachers be saying about Lockhart, if they knew he was really a fraud? That is all you need to know about the story itself. That is where the author is wrong. I have read many stories where the author didn’t give a rat’s behind about giving us a statement dealing with his or her story but would insert an Author’s Note ( i.e. this is not going to be an incest story thanks! Or how cute is that? Or some line that she or he thinks is cute after like one of the characters had spoken or a scene happened.). I was immediately turned off from reading any more of that person's story. In fact, I reviewed the story and stated that the reason that I got 'turned off' was because an Author's Note was placed in the actual text of the story, where it did not belong. Some of the new authors will state that Author’s Notes has a place in the actual text of the story. That mere fact that their story had an Author’s note in the story itself will distract the reader from the story itself! It really has no place in the story beyond the beginning of the story or at the end of the story. Now you are probably wondering I don’t need that on my story. It states it all right on the page you were at previously. I find that to be lazy of the author and some authors’ is just that but after awhile they realize that they do need to put more up. Some authors will just put one line as an Author’s note and leave it at that. The authors had not stated anything about what their stories are about before starting it off. The mere fact that the sentences in some of the Author’s notes that you find on any submission sites have mistakes in them usually will be enough to put many readers off. Most young authors will be informed about it by their reviewers and hopefully they will correct their story that was filled with spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors and the story plot itself was not good. That is a list of most errors some authors have made. Usually, most authors will leave the Author’s notes for the end of the story, but some will use the below format to talk about their story and let the readers know what they are in for within the story itself, instead of being surprised by the mere fact of the scene itself. Title: the title of the story. Author: Who wrote this story? Summary: A one line summary of the story itself. Rating: What is the rating of this story? Pairing(s): Who are being paired romantically in this story? Feedback: desired. * This is all you really need to say here! * Characters: Characters that are seen in this story from the book/cartoon or movie. Add any new characters name here. Also sometimes, people write about real people, so they will put the people’s names here. Betas: The names of the people who helped you make the story better – they can be your friends, people you met via an e-mail group or even your mother if she likes to help you improve your writing. Author’s notes: This is where you put any author notes about where the story idea came from or if the characters are going to be out of character in this story. And this is where you usually will put some of your thoughts about the story, like I really like this story or that this is my first fanfiction story in this fandom. There should be no Author’s note in the story itself if it is placed here. It is very distracting to the readers. Disclaimer: This is where you state that you do not own or making any money off of this story. Stuff like that. * Your story goes here. * One suggestion, please don’t hold your story hostage for reviews from your readers, if the story is good enough, they will leave you reviews. If they do not, don’t worry about it. Someone will review your story one day. Just state a simple thank you note to them for reading your story, “I’ll try to update this story as soon as possible or just a simple thank you for reading this story.”, will do for most authors. That’s it. The reader will hopefully review the story. Those people who hold off posting or will not post anymore of their story to the site and demand a certain amount of reviews to get the next chapter posted are called REVIEW WHORES, yes, REVIEW WHORES, people who hold their stories hostage if they do not get this amount of reviews from their readers. That is not very wise and people will naturally not review your story because you ‘DEMANDED’ them to review your story. A properly disclaimed story intro, I’m using one of my stories and Smooster’s disclaimer as two examples, on two ways of how an intro should look like: Title: Harry Potter and The Bungling Teacher. Author: Beth Brownell Summary: What would the students and teachers be saying about Lockhart, if they knew he was really a fraud? Rating: PG Pairing(s): None at all. Feedback: desired especially if it is to agree with my thoughts on that idiot teacher Lockhart. Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Fudge, Dumbledore, Snape, Lockhart, and various other students and staff members of Hogwarts. Notes: I have been wondering what would happen if the Dursleys had to reveal Harry to the Masons. Everyone will be out of character in this story as it had started as a ‘What if scenario’ of the first part of COS and it ended up getting a life of its own now. I am also bringing in two characters that would be normally seen in book three and yes, he is free as things will be explained. The idea about Lockhart came from my friend Devona. Disclaimer: I am only borrowing the characters that JKR created for a short time and I'm not receiving any money for this story. JKR is a Goddess for blessing us with them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is from Mr. Smooster’s very long story on Dragonball Z. I have deleted the link to his story as I do not know where he has stored this fanfiction story. Author's notes. 1. Many of you may have read this story before. I would like to invite you to read it again, as major changes to the story have been made. 2. This is not a happy story. If you do not like that, DON'T read it. 3. This story contains some foul language, lots of violence, gore and death, and some other more mature concepts and problems. If you do not like this, why are you reading DBZ fanfics? DON'T read it! 4. This will be a LONG fic. Please give it a chance...The first several Chapters set up the story and are therefore some-what dry. 5. Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball. I did not create Dragon Ball ©2001, Bird Studio/Shueisha, Toei Animation. Licensed by FUNimation Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved, or as otherwise directed by FUNimation. This fan-fiction is not meant to infringe on any copyrights, it is simply here to show my appreciation of and for Dragonball. This story and any characters, moves or other information not created by those named above are ©2001-2003 by the Smooster. If you enjoy or enjoyed reading this fiction you have my permission to use any Character, move or other in one of your own, BUT PLEASE give me some credit as I worked quite long to present you with this story. Names: some of the names are in Japanese and are translated here. Ichigo = Strawberry, Kinomi = Berry Kudamono = Fruit, Nashi = Pear Momo = Peach, Ume = Plum Ringo = Apple, Sakura = Cherry Meron = Melon, Aoikinomi = Blueberry The Return. Preface This story takes place about four hundred years after the end of GT (which the author has never seen being an American who does not know Japanese). Goku is still alive, as the Kaioshin has removed him from the dragon balls to serve as their champion if anything like Buu ever put the universe in danger again. As such, he lives with the Kaioshins on their planet and cannot interfere with the normal progression of the Universe. Chapter One School's Out! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Those two intros are properly written and they barely had any written mistakes within the intro itself. A good story –may- have one or two minor mistakes within the story itself, but if you are willing to listen to your readers, they will help catch those mistakes and let you know about them so you may correct them. Writing stories is a two way street between you and your readers/reviewers. If they like the story, they’ll recommend it to their friends, and it’s the same with the bad stories they will recommend people not to read the bad ones. Also, it is widely known that you will get better with every story you write with the help of your reviewers and your beta readers if you have any. A story should be given 150% of your effort not 40% and say it's done! That's a disgrace to everyone who had or has tried to read the story. My next column will be dealing with the rating system. What story should get what type of rating?

Number six usually cannot be helped at all, especially if writers' block hits you on that story or that your beta reader has up and vanished with your story unbetaed and you are stuck searching for a new one. I usually would state why there was a delay in updating the story when I update the story with new content. Even if it means weeks or months of not updating to make sure that you have a good post to update with. Anything less, is a slap to the face of your readers. Beth

I swear that I have seen people write stories and then spell a word that they are trying to say wrong. And then when you correct them in the review box, you would think that they would appreciate the correct spelling but they get extremely angred over your review of their story because you corrected their spelling of one or more words. So here is a few words that I have seen people write down wrong. There - Their. Example: There path was hindered by a huge boulder. Should be: Their path was hindered by a huge boulder. Site - Sight. Example: Their site was blocked by many people. Should be: Their sight was blocked by many people. Those two are the major ones that I see misspelled the most. But I am sure that there are several others that are done incorrectly too. If you know of any words that sound alike and you know the correct spelling, please add them to this list. Beth