Harley Quinn hyenaholic

OH GOD SOMEBODY'S VANDALISING THE STORY OF MINE I allowed anonymous reviews to get more but NOW see what happens? It's happening right now - I just banned anonymous reviews but it goes on and I have no idea how they continue to do it. Visit My Website You have to stop them. I can't, I'm deleting reviews as fast as I can but more of them come, and if I delete the story they may start on another one. You have to stop them, or find a way from stopping it from happening again. It's You Never ARGH WHAT AM I WEARING?! Okay, it's now fixed because they stopped and I deleted the crap they left, but it still happened and I'd like to see a better way of stopping people from posting a million identical reviews without having to block Anonymous reviews.

I think all of the Transformers categories should be merged. It's not like any of them are that big, and this way it'll be easier for people to find the fanfics they want.

Now I know, early on in a story's existance, that it's hard to tell how many reviews you're getting because you go to see your story a couple of times, and people might be visiting more than once. But still, there's three views and I know I haven't gone there yet (I'm here at the moment) so at least one person has viewed it three times, but they still haven't bothered to review. My favorite reviews are long constructive criticism reviews. My least favorite are reviews with nothing but "Update! Update now!" or worse than that, "I like this fanfic but why aren't you updating your other fics?" Buddy, can you see the 'co-written' tag at the top? I can't just magic my co-writer into being. Sometimes I get distracted by other things. I've got three other stories going right now and you know that; even I, who sit at this computer for 14 hours a day, have a limit to how much time I can spend writing. I can't conjure five A4 pages of sex out of thin air; this is a COMPUTER I'm working on. My mind, which thinks about sex ALL THE FREAKING TIME, is TRYING to get the story to that sex scene you want to see so badly. Sure, I could just sit down, write a fuck, and post it, but that would SUCK ASS.

Those "GET TO THE SEX" reviews piss me off too. Oh sure, I like PWP, and sex, and most of my stories feature somebody getting a good hard fucking. But if I want to read PWP, I'll go look for it. So you like my well-developed OC, but you just wish she'd get to the sex? Well suck on it. I didn't spend 20 chapters giving my readers a good reason for an OC to be getting a Canon just to sit there and have you tell me you don't like plots. Nor did I spend 10 chapters explaining why I think it's possible for Barricade and Bumblebee to pair up for you to whine about them not fucking the moment they kiss. Go read a PWP, gimps.

More than once, I've changed my mind mid story on who's going to end up fucking whom. Sometimes it's changed a long way. Which kinda makes it difficult because people reading my story are halfway through when I tell them, "No, it's not going to be Prowl getting some ass." Not to mention, if the persons fucking has changed, it's pretty likely that the method they fuck will change too, and that's a crapload of different Warnings. Which may (or may not) result in my readers thinking "What? I started reading this story to fantasise about Prowl! Now who's getting it?" Or "Sure, that pairing's still fine, but the way it's written now means one of my squicks is in!" While we're talking about it, my one and only squick is scat. People smearing crap all over each other and getting horny from it is just... urgh... Oh, sure, there's other things that don't turn me on, like bricks, but scat is the one thing that squicks me.

I'll get to the point. When I'm Editing Details, I can change the title and the summary and the place it's in... but what I often really want to edit is the Warnings. That's hard to do though, because there's no Automatic Warning Adding thing or even a list of warnings. The only way I know of to do it is delete the fic and start again. I'd like to see a way to add the warnings on the Edit Details page. And for the warnings to stop taking up my Summary space when I want to change that too.

Aw, crud! Why do I always forget to read the rules?! Edit completed, I hope it's okay now.

Oooh, how do I plan it? Well, I start by getting inspiration. It could be a long, long way from the end result, but I sit down and think, yes, that's good, or yes, that's funny. And then I walk around, doing my other stuff and surfing the net, and it comes to me how I can make it better and funnier. What I start with is often the basic concept of the plot, not a scene by scene thing. First thing I do is think very hard about how I can start it, getting people interested in a matter of lines. Once I know that, I think about what I want the result of the story to be, and how to get there. And while I'm doing that, I often come up with scenes and lines that I really want to see in it, and try to work out how to fit them in. Once I have the beginning, the end, and a few specific scenes and one-liners, I can then move through the story bit by bit, working out how to involve those scenes so that by doing so I'll get to that end. As a result, while the end is generally what I wanted, the plot of the story can be a long way from what I thought it would be. But the important thing is that it flows right.

Title: You Never ARGH WHAT AM I WEARING?! Author: Harley Quinn hyenaholic Fandom: Transformers Animated Summary: Blitzwing is wearing fishnet stockings, high heels and a thong. Why, How, and WHAT THE FRAG AM I WEARING THIS TIME?! Rating: Adult+ Pairings: Purely sexual Starscream/Blitzwing Spoilers: It's not going to be a Oneshot any more. Feedback: Desired Greatly: Constructive Criticism, Praise, Requests for more. Description: Specifically designed to give you strange mental images, you have to ask yourself a very special question before you go to read this fanfic: It's Transformers Animated. Do you want to read about fishnet stockings, high heels and a thong? If so, I hope you like Starscream/Blitzwing. If neither, I suggest you PLEASE TRY AGAIN. PLEASE TRY AGAIN. PLEASE TRY AGAIN. CHA CHA CHA! Link to my Author Page I absolutely swear that if you get to the end and do not go , I will refund whatever you paid to read this fanfic. Unless you're one of the three people I discussed this fanfic with before posting it. Oh, and three things I forgot to mention in the fic - first of all, I KNOW Blitzwing speaks with a German Accent. I'm just not putting up with all the spelling errors I'll get by writing it out. Secondly, yes, Blitzwing is deliberately sexist. It makes him seem even more like a Nazi. And Third, don't read the reviews until you've read the fic, they contain spoilers. No, I'm serious, they really will spoil the Those Wacky Nazis, eh?

Keith, while perhaps (PERHAPS) small parts of the Transformers test were jokes, they shouldn't be. It's not like people won't be seriously using the test to grade their characters. Anyway, the really serious test still sucks ass. And besides, it's not the first test I've read that involves negative points in questions. Some tests say that it's impossible to get negative points in their test and not to worry about it. Which is another stupid thing to say, and upon making a test it should be possible to get a score of zero, just like when taking a pop quiz it should be possible to get a perfect score. Without deliberately going through the questions and saying "Well for that I must have a slashy guy" and so on. It shouldn't matter (well, not that much) about the character resembling you - no reader is going to know what you're like unless you tell them, and it's their opinion that matters. And lots of people put a little of themselves into the character to make it easier to write. What should matter is magnificent superpowers, and the canon's reaction to your characters, and whether your character fits into the universe. And that's another reason Mary Sue Litmus Tests - in particular the 'universal' tests - suck.

Yeah, most Mary Sue Litmus Tests do suck. No, not because I failed - even though I have, once or twice - but for better reasons than that. I'll start with a Litmus Test made for universal testing. There are several of them, and this one uses tick-boxes. First of all, it asks if my character is the same gender as me. That's stupid. There are only two genders to pick from - male or female. So to avoid ticking that box, you need to DELIBERATELY make your character the opposite gender. Seems kinda unfair when there's so little to choose from. Then it asks if we're in the same general age group. Teenager, or Twenty-something. Another unfair question. I'd say most people here are teenagers, or mid twenties. Therefore you'll probably be fans of teen fiction. Therefore to fit in with the characters you're hanging with, you need to be a teenager. Besides, why shouldn't we write characters for our age group? Writing what we know, the character will be more believable. Then it asks if we share a sexual identity. There are three main sexual identities - straight, gay and bi. Again, a limited choice. Again, we're writing what we know. Besides, if we're fucking a canon who's straight, that's sticking with canon. That's not fair at all. Another question asks if I think readers will like and empathise with my character. Why shouldn't I want readers to like my character? If she's gonna be a villain that might change things, but why should I have to write a character who will be deliberately disliked by readers to avoid that point? Oh yeah, and why can't I pretend to myself that I am my character? It's not something that takes place in the story; why do my private fantasies come into it? Further on, the quiz asks about names. Whether they chose her name, or whether their name is a verb. Well, some fandoms involve such names. If the character doesn't have a verb for a name they might stand out. There's quite a few questions that don't take into account that I might be doing it because that's the way the fandom goes, and I'm not talking about all of them. But one question asks if my character is persecuted by an authority figure. Yeah, she is. It's Starscream. He's an ASSHOLE. It'd be more Sueish if she was insulting him and didn't get some persecution for it. It asks if the character is a teenager. What the hell is wrong with that? Besides, there's already been a question about age. If I answered yes to that one, being a teenager, I'll get another point here. It asks if she has a drug habit or similar. But it's not until a further question that it asks if she doesn't suffer consequences. The test has many questions like that, asking about consequences in a later question when they should be pooled. In other words, this character I have invented to take part in an adventure must be completely different to me, right down to gender and sexual preferences, and not stand out in any way. In other words, totally boring. Now I know Mary Sue often stands out a mile and is everything you want to be, but she may well be taking part in an adventure that would technically REQUIRE her to have a special ability or two to SURVIVE. Too many skills make her unrealistic, but one or two make her interesting. The occasional coincidental similarity - gender, or sexual identity - is pretty irrellevant. And this test adds points for features that would normally make her more normal, not asking about consequences until later on. I'll go on to a different test - for Transformer fiction, but regarding negative points. First, it asks if the character has wings on her butt. First of all, that's stupid. Second of all, it knocks twenty points off the score and excuses you from the rest of the test. Secondly, if the character becomes a Transformer because she wanted revenge on an ex, that's negative 100 points. Thirdly, if the character comes about in the ordinary way, so ordinary that you don't even talk about it, thats'd negative thirty points. I'd have thought having an interesting (if not crazy) backstory was better for the character and the story, but no, it looks like you need to be perfectly normal and boring. Fourth, it says that if the character swaps factions, and gets shot for it, that's negative fifty points. This is one I got to tick off. Fifth, it asks if she suffers from a pathological phobia of clowns. That's negative twenty. Sixth, it asks if she sings Don't Cry For Me Argentina in a loud, bellowing voice, which is negative ten. Does that mean to knock off a few points, my character HAS to sing, badly? And they have to sing that song? Why that song? Seventh, it says that if your character comes lurching out of their coffin you can knock off twenty points, because the writer of the test would like to see that. And that right there says why this test sucks ASS. It's not about Mary Sue. It's about what the writer would like to see. Furthermore, your character can have all sorts of Sueish powers and events, but a couple of the above factors - like getting a perfectly normal repercussion from Megatron for defecting, or mentioning a fear of clowns, or wings on your ass - knocks off a shitload of those points. Why? Why does doing stupid things in your story get points taken off? It doesn't make your character less of a Sue when they're still stunningly beautiful and packed with guilt for things they didn't do. There's way too many Litmus Tests like that. But with a resulting -18 score, I'm not going to complain about it.

Yeah, that's right! If you want to look as amazing as me (and as stupid, but that's beside the point) you gotta donate money!

How about a place where people who donate can be thanked and their stories linked to. That way, the more you donate, the higher near the top of the list you are, and the more smug you can be. You might even get people competing to donate. I know I donated $100 recently.

I'd probably post on more sites if my fics weren't so Adult. As it is, I stick to AFF. I used to post on a special Lion King site for Lion King fanfiction. Maybe I can take that stuff and up the content a bit. It had Lion King characters turning into humans. All I need do is remember what site it was on.

Trust me, I spent a long time working this out. Well, when people read fanfics, they look at say... some Anime guy, and they think "Baby I'd like to be fucking him." Or that they'd like to be saving the day. But the Mary Sue, she's too perfect to pretend for to be the reader. She's too fantastical, with her colour changing eyes and hair and bullshit. Too powerful. She lacks our flaws. We can't pretend she's us, and worse still, we know that she's somebody else's fantasy to fuck whoever. So, we can't possibly be the ones fucking or saving or starring. It's somebody else who's the star, and we can't pretend they're us, or that they'll fall for us, because they've already fallen for somebody more perfect than we could ever be. In other words, we hate Mary Sue because we are JEALOUS of her. She makes us feel inadequate. Example - sometimes I sit back and pretend that I (as a robot) can participate in my favorite show and am pairing up with the nearest hot guy. Everybody's welcome to their own fantasies. But I can't hook up with Prowl if he's already hooked up with some other OC - not just a regular OC with flaws who's deep and willing to learn, but something that's perfect, something I could never win the guy off, something I can't pretend is me, something I cannot measure up to. Anti-Sues are similar - you know, those things so full of flaws but still adored? Well, this time Anti-Sue is loathesome - but she still gets the man. Why would a hot guy ever want to hook up with somebody so mentally disturbed? Why does she still get the spotlight? The real problem with the Mary Sue is that usually the only person who can identify with her is the writer. Her personality, looks and perfection are just too hard for a reader to identify with. And we're jealous that she's got the man we wanted, that she's in the setting we want to see ourselves in, that she's perfect but we can't be. And why shouldn't we be? Mary Sue has everything we desire, but we could never have. The hot fantasy robot as a boyfriend, the good looks, the adoration - and though she's got a million friends, there's no way we would ever be friends with her because she's too freaking-ass self-centered. And on top of all that, all the important things in this world we once loved are now happening to her. True, in the story, she has to be deeply integrated, but she's always there, involving herself. If I think of more, I'll add it, but that's a start to why we hate Mary Sue. We are JEALOUS.

Okay, I've got this idea for a Transformers fanfic, and I could use a co-writer. First of all it's Megatron/Starscream, so you need to be able to write as one of them. Either one; I can do either, so you've got a choice. And obviously, you need to be able to write slash at some point. But this fanfic is going to be AU. Alternate Universe. It takes place in a universe where Megatron buys Starscream as a slave, and treats him with the distain and insults that G1 Megatron always did. And G1 Starscream both loathes and fears Megatron like the cowardly little weasel he is, was and always will be. This isn't going to be pure sex slave though. That's OLD. The story will mainly be concentrating on the slavery aspect, and it'll be British Empire definition slavery. That's the slavery where the owner can do exactly whatever the fuck they want to their slave, because that's their property standing there. Hell, Megatron could spend a day beating Starscream to death if he wanted to, for any reason at all. And yes, Starscream will be getting punished, numerous times, for being a disobedient, treacherous little gimp or just because Megatron feels like taking an EMP whip to his back (or in some other way), so you either need to be able to take it or dish it out. Or both. Taking it is vital if you want to play as Starscream, dishing it out is vital if you want to play as Megatron. And no, Megatron will not fall in love with his slave and let him go free, only to have Starscream stay with him. That's worse than old. That's OOC. Contact me with a reply to this topic, or send a PM.

What is Felching, anyway? I read it in a friend's fic, and it sounds like something to do with the mouth, but I don't know WHAT it is.

That's no accent. That's a dialect. And dialects are important. But unless you've got readers from Louisiana, nobody's really going to know for sure how right you got it. But accents aren't important to write correctly. Suppose my character has an Austrian accent, just about the only accent I can write. "Velcome to Louisiana, Mester Shore," she said in a thick Austrian accent. "Did you haff a guut trip?" Now, unless I want to look like a gimp, I have to write all that character's lines in that way. Or I could say: "Welcome to Louisiana, Mr. Shore," she said in a thick Austrian accent. "Did you have a good trip?" Same sentance, no stupid phonetic spelling that makes me look like an idiot, and none of my readers will give a shit. In their heads, chances are they'll think the words in an Austrian accent and I'll have less work to do. So, accents are unimportant, dialects are important, but saying occasionally "in her [accent] accent" as a reminder doesn't harm anybody or get accent-haters on your ass, and reminds people how they should hear it in their heads.

Myth: All Transformers are gay because there's never any females around to fuck. Truth: No. To both. First of all, Transformers is aimed at kids. There's no gayness. Fuck it all, there's hardly even any het pairings. Second of all, Transformers don't even have genders. Optimus proved this in Transformers Animated when he asked how humans made these smaller humans, and then Sari had to point out to Bumblebee that Blackarachnia was a girl. Which means MPreg is a perfectly viable option for Transformers.

I look down on using song lyrics. You'd be horrified at how often a writer pads out their story with lyrics for no reason. But sometimes, when you're in a place with a lot of music (like a bar, or a club) you can use a song, rating from just the chorus, down to the entire song scattered verse by verse through the story. But make sure that your song is long enough even without the lyrics. How long a fic should be is up to you, but if there's more lyrics to the fic than original work, you're sucking ass.

It was never fixed. I got sick of waiting and deleted the affected stories, losing both genuine reviews and the blitzkrieg. You're a bit late now.

Actually, these definitions are only the most obvious and petty kind of Sue. Mary Sue is not defined by her powers or the colour of her hair or her name. After all, if you're writing in the anime section, bless you, your hair and eyes can be any colour you damn well want. Having brown hair doesn't stop a Sue. Not if her long, hazel locks flow like silk and draw attention because despite being brown, her hair's still better than the guys with blue hair and violet eyes. And in a fandom like Transformers, seriously, how many characters are called 'Steve'? No, no, no, Mary Sue is defined by two things - Vitamin Special, and how you think about her. Vitamin Special means that Mary Sue gets a disproportionate amount of screen time compared to the canons, and that she's better than they are or more important than they are. That the story wouldn't be a freaking story without her, that their asses would be toast without her. That rules of the universe are bent and broken for her. Take Transformers. You know Megatron is one evil bastard. Optimus Prime and Rodimus couldn't change that, even at the inevitable destruction of a planet. But he'd never treat Sue badly. Maybe he adores her, maybe he admires her, but there's no way he's going to capture and destroy Robot Sue. Even though normally he could do it without breaking a sweat. Sue doesn't have to be popular or attractive. Or powerful or amazing. Or based on you. After all, if she's based on you, down to the flaws, that's still got the potential to be a well-rounded character, provided you don't flaunt it. Sue just has to be infinitely more important than the CCs. As for how you think about Sue, do you ever get angry if people don't like her or fanfics she's in? It's fine to get annoyed about people calling her a Sue; it's not exactly a compliment. Do you ever fantasise that you are her and that she no longer has flaws? Do you fantasise that she would be able to hook up with characters you think are hot, but know you wouldn't have a chance with, either because of them (too chaste, too high up, too bastardised) or you (same reasons)? When you're writing about her, do you base her reactions on what you'd like to do? Do you have her starring in multiple fics? Is she basically the same personality as a previous OC who fulfilled these requirements, but altered for a different fandom? IE, turned into a cat/robot/human? None of these thinking things MAKES a Mary Sue, but they are definite indicators of an Author Avatar, which can, if you're not paying attention, become a Sue. Wish-Fulfilment characters are also rather borderline, but as I've said, if you don't flaunt it, you can get away with it.

I bet it's this guy who's been rating my popular fanfics extra low to get back at me for the bad reviews he damn well deserved too. Of course, there's no way I can be sure, but I bet it's him.

This 'author' is rapidly posting numerous 'fanfics' that are only one paragraph long, which also lack formatting or decent grammar. I think he's a troll, seeing what he can get away with to spoil the board for others. He's posted 8 of these things in less than a month and he's really starting to spam up the category with badfic. Recently he posted a List Fic, which isn't a fic at all. List Fic Bladecat's Profile

Well, some experience of what you're talking about helps. Say if you're writing about sex. You'll at least want experience of what a real relationship is like. But if you're writing rape, that's something you DON'T want real experience of. Ever. So, second hand will do. Some research. Some knowledge of sex. Some common sense. Same goes for mental disorders. You'll want to get it right, but even Hollywood doesn't always get it right. Hell, sometimes they deliberately don't get it right because it's more dramatic that way.