pittwitch

If you figure it out, tell me!

Thus far, I’ve tried:

1. Telling off the biggest boss I could find
2. threatened to stab my favorite coworker with a plastic spoon
3. told a client that I’m not Dr. Who and can’t use the Tardis to travel back in time to accommodate their request
4. told same client that they would need to provide the Oujia board to have the dead person sign the documents that they wanted signed
5. yelling at the closest supervisor to me
6. Yelling at email from aforementioned client: “F off, Dickety Dick!” in front of the biggest of the big bosses
7. Asked another client, “What part of ‘your borrower does not want to do that’ did you knot understand?”
8. Stood up with the same coworker, blasted “I Will Survive” while singing along and Dancing at our desks
9. Bit my supervisor’s finger – she had her hand clamped over my mouth when MucketySchmuck was escorting visitors past us on a tour – ruined my perfect window of opportunity 
10. Sat at my desk and filed my nails while waiting for the computer to catch up to me
11. used my cellphone at my desk in full view of everyone
12. walked across the office with my dress tucked in my underwear – granted that was a mistake but …
13. deliberately did not dress up on “visitor day”

Honestly, just reading this is one of the funniest experiences I’ve had this month.