Calanthee
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Posts posted by Calanthee
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Puppies and kittens. Everything else is fair game (and quite tasty, most of the time).
Why do stupid people seem to reproduce a lot faster than normal or smart people?
Because it takes two or three stupid people together, in order for them to come up with one complete thought. Reproducing faster like bunnies gives them the possible options of eventually coming up with right answer by trail and error. Be kind to stupid people, they don't know any better. Unfortunate this problem seem to run in families... thus the "Bushes", and politics only seems intensify this genetic flaw of stupidity to the ultimate level! Cal
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"Oh Shit that really hurt! Damn-it to hell, I pissed out another baby again. Perhaps golly-gosh I should stop having sex with Elvis, Fred and the boys, for I can't tell who's the babies' real fathers are."
Morning sickness sucks too! Yours Truly, the very lustful and productive, Cal
PS. One more baby and I'll have a triple hat trick, what can I say I am a team player
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This is Calanthee, for the Ethical Non-abuse of Vaginas... Again.
I do believe you boys and girls, are actually taking me serious! Don't do that ever, for I am never serious.... it's satire! I am making jokes. I only used the word fascist cause it sounded good, I wrote that post as a mothers day funny
I write Yaoi too, but unlike you guys I am fascinated by a little damp pussy occasional found hiding on a beautiful feminine male character in fantasy situation if only for the shock value, but not in reality based yaoi.
Some scientific theories suggests that man as species, might have developed from a duel gendered being called a hermaphrodite, a being which carries both male and female reproductive organs, and then at one point, the genders seperated. And this fact for me generates hippity-hoppoty plot bunnies galore. So shoot me, I am not a Yaoi purest in any way shape or form, yet I can be just as prejudice for "Yuri girl on girl" leaves me cold... it doesn't make me heave my cookies, I just don't read the stories. But I do read regular het stories once in while.
The rare Good writers can write just about anything and you'll read every word.
Remember we all come through the same gate, our loving mothers, Happy Mothers Day! Cal
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Pickey! Pickey! Pickey! Here I thought all Yaoi writers were chicks or chicks pretending to be guys/males, but appariently that's not the case anymore, there is possiblity that a few guys, perhaps with a particular persuasion are now writing Yaoi... well swell I am not predjudice... go for it boys have fun, but this terrible anti-vagina [anti-cunt for the crude] fascism must cease now before it get out of hand. This little damp hole you boys are mocking is simply another body part, necessary because it helps make babies, you boys don't need to go down on it... with such hatred! All body holes are equal, they just have different uses, after all the anal canal is not called the poop shoot for nothing.
Sometime I think more shit comes of people's mouths and minds than ever comes out the other end!!!
Just think about it! Yo will ya... please! And remember be kind to Vaginas, your mother had one too, for we all came through that particular gate when we were born, least you nauseous guys forget it!
Calanthee, for the Ethical Non-abuse of Vaginas
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Actually, six and ten are really the only trick/test questions. The rest are all actual requirements to one degree or another. Though why every assumes we mean corpses with the last one, I just don't know...
Ok Mr Foe, how can one be dead and not a corpse? Unless you mean they can't get it up or make Willy salute, to do the Nasty? So come on already, what does dead mean to you???
I am curious, Cal the Har
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I'm calling BS on your #6, I'm pretty sure you'd be dead if you drank 5 liters in a half an hour.
Psycho Darling, metrics... smetrics it confuses old Americans, beside what I drank was weak rosy- sweet wine coolers and if you think #6 was BS, you didn't read the other numbers they're totally full of #2 as well
Respectfully, Cal -
Please Add Contact Information:
Phone Number HAR-tell- thede
E-mail address Gelaming@ Pelki.cum
1) Do you have track marks and/or scars? Just about everywhere!
2) Are you currently taking illegal drugs of one form or another? All of them and some new ones
3) If so, please list them here: Sorry too many to mention, plus the inhuman ones I make myself!
4) Do you listen to ska, heavy metal, or punk? Metal Rules and Punk groves! No I don't ska, I could fall down and break something important.
5) Do you even know what ska is? U put boards on your feel and slide down a snowy hill, until the fresh powder goes up you nose and then you inhale.
6) Is your liver capable of processing more than three liters of alchohol/hour? Actually I am up to 5 liters and 1/2 a hour.
7) Do you have a problem with homosexuals or bisexuals? No I just love.m to death 2 or 3 at a time, maybe 5 or more in my bed all at once especial if they are hotties`
8) Are you comfortable with blatant racism? Absolutely especially if its directed to a particular group of our society... those dumb as a stick and refered to as stupid Assholes.
9) Do you recognize any of the following names: Emile Zola, Tom Robbins, or Edward Rutherford? No! What did they invent, or who did they kill???
10) Are you lying to us? Me lie? Why would I want to do a thing like that???
11) Are you comfortable with sadomasochistic acts? Absolutely, its the only way to play and have fun!
12) Are you comfortable with watching other people commit sadomasochistic acts on your girlfriend? No why should she have all the fun... I wanta play too!
13) Do you have a small penis? (Ignore this if female.) No I have a great big one, its shape like a huge flower and when the flower opens... it has great big teeth that hang on for dear life. Try it dude you'll like it.
14) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend committing random acts of nudity in public? Swell let her go for it, if makes her happy. Nudity is better than Random act of poor taste in fashion.
15) What nationalities have contributed to your heritage? Varr, Uigenna, Kakkahaar, and Irish
16) Are you comfortable with tattoos and piercings? If they are on pretty people, not for me they hurt!
17) Are you comfortable with being called Master? Just call me master ask me to spank you Whoopee! Yeah baby!
18) Are you comfortable with your girlfriend referring to other people as her Master? She only calls me master, or she ain't my girlfriend!
19) Are you comfortable with sharing your girlfriend with several dead people? Possibly with several various states of undead, Yeah, but not when they are stinky and decomposing
and fall apart before my eyes! It's just so messy! -
good luck Kiddo, looks very heard to achieve, perhaps dyed blue lace, which is then glued on the body[ use somekind of theatrical body glue... Make the lace thicker over breasts for conceal issues! What about some kind special body pant too! I hope somekind blue cape is included with the outfit too! Good luck, Cal
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More wonderfuly wrong words you do NOT want to see in a fic
semen-strands (If your semen is stringy shouldn't you see a doctor? )
serpant cock
Fuck the piss out of my ass (I was under the impression one's ass did not in fact contain urine. )
thick come juice
dripping piss hole ( STD any one ?)
Shooting white ribbons
thick white mancum
burning manrod
cockseed
globes ( Unless there are mountain ranges on it, an ass does not look like a globe.)
cum soup ( EWWWWWWWWWW)
rippling spasm
climaxed rapture
the giggle of her ass ( Giggling. Ass......I have no words.)
The thud of his hips became a hum ( The goddamn washing machine is broken ! )
Cum Tsunami
Yo fussy fussy, Dude?
I though every one was allowed to do their thing here, surly some of examples you have given are cluttered examples of poor taste in erotic literatuture, but did you ever consider they might be trying for ridiculous humor in their literary endeavors.
A. It could been worse, the writer, could have writen, his seed came out his like silly string!
B. His hard serpant cock struck hard and viscious like a viper, penetrating his partner's innocent channel like a predator. If you dress it up it works.
C. Your right this one just friggin stupid. Unless you have a particular fetish!
D. Thick cum flowed from him like a endless fountain of Juice/nectar
E. His member slowly leaked drops of pearls and tears from his pulsating tip.
F. Irridence white wet ribbons shot from his member and over his companions belly.
G. This is stupid too... like it suggest their such a thing as woman cum, or LOL is there such a thing?
H. Burning Manhood, maybe you should see a Doctor.... a hard warm and heated cock pressed eagerly against his thigh. Manrod? Is he armed or Horney?
I. The word cock is superfluous. Human seed only comes from one place, unless there is mutants I don't know about?
J. Your wrong there is nothing wrong about using the word globe to describe a perfect tight curving male ass cheek, in a long legged total fit male... sphere works well too... truly one of my favorite male parts.
K. Actually never heard of this soup receipe before, surely Cambells doesn't carry it.
L. She/He orgaismed and her/he body wildly rippled and spasmed, as the climax took control.
M. The rapture caused by climax caused him to nearly pass out.
N. The giggle of her ass, least I am stupid or I am congested... Yo dude she simply farted. so flee and save yourself.
O. Hips pound or slap, But sugar they don't hum, only the mouth can do that! Trust me!
Calanthee My view
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... it was a slippery tentacle.
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Because if the high level vibration function is too stronge, it will brake their crystal balls.
How I wonder, do how the Potterites, have time to learn Magick, especially when they spend all time doing the nasty to each other in the sack??? Cal
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Is "hole" really as sexy Vs. "tight pucker",
Or as sophisticate as wildly twitching orifice? Which do you perfer to impale? LOL, Oh cum now tell me.... The Raunchy and Lovely Cal -
Every time I write a major sex scene, it's like 20 pages long...I'm beginning to wonder if I'm over describing...is that possible?
No Sugar, your Naugthy Muse, just gets very turned on by what your writing and doesn't want to let go... happens to me all the time... sometimes for story structure and balance you need to reign in the little kinky fellow or he can get quite out of hand. You need to read over what you wrote and decide what works and what doesn't... especially if gets repeative and boring! Good luck.
A hints given by a pro [Yo not me]... don't fall so in love with what you write, so much that you can delete it to make the story better. Happy writing, respectfully Cal
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First you'd have to wake your tired and bored Muse!
Then you might discover to your dismay your old muse's tastes have changed, so ask him what he likes to inspire now???
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Rectum... hell! I'd Killed'em!
- moss gypsy and Inshadowsidream
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Well, The Pairing Guy has now entered the building... Does that help?
And I don't know about the Battle game suggestion. Personally, my eyebrow doesn't even quiver in interest. Then again, maybe that's because all my interest is devoted to pairings.
Jaxxy, I hear ya about the BDSM hate on AFF.net. I tagged my latest story for S&M(no bondage), and it picked up less than a third the hits of my non-S&M fic. Even plugging it in the "Promote Your Story" forum hasn't helped. I'm not a BDSM fan myself, but it's sad that so many people won't even try a story if it has any S&M at all.
happy pairings,
The Pairing Guy
Yo Pairing Guy, does that mean your a lover not a fighter or are you into things like a pair of shoes, a pair of boobs, or pairing the skins off apples or other fruits, Maybe you a cross- anime sort of guy, who likes to see the glorious Sephiroth get into the pants of a number of different characters, Lelouch in his helmet, every last individual in Gundum Seed, Light... Naruto and thump'em silly...hey we must not forget the lovely Harry Potter he needs a good thump now and then. Personally I would love to see Sephiroth with his lovely supermodel bod on steroids thump just about anything that moves, his big sword is so sexy yeah thats it...it certainly works for me! Cal, happy holidays
PS Whats wrong with a little BSDM, now and then, just to keep'em awake, paddle paddle? EVEryone reads it, they just lie about it later!
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Thought these were amusing and sweet Yaoi-centric:
(_!_) regular ass
(__!__) fat ass
(!) tight ass
(_*_) sore ass
{_!_}swishy ass
(_O_) Yaoi ass that's has been around
(_x_) Kiss my ass
(_X_) Leave my ass alone
(_xxx_) wide tired old ass
(_?_) Dumb ass
Yo Cal the ASSassin, enjoy
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I was only answering the question, as in that word does seem to get overused a bit - granted, not as much as others. It's jsut one of a few words in particular that make me hesitate in the middle of an otherwise nicely flowing piece of writing.
I'm not arguing the good or bad aspects of sex in general, I'm just saying I find it hard to believe that people can always have out of this world mind blowing sex first time they do it with someone, and I don't mean that in the virginal sense either! No amount of experience can make it so you know exactly what gets someone without having learned their body firsthand, and most people have at least a little aukwardness where for example: something intended as nice feeling just plain tickles. Apologies to anyone who disagrees, but I speak from personal experience, not any kind of imagined superiority complex. I put myself down too much to have an ego
And as far as the kiny comment goes, I'm novice there and I have surprised myself a few times lately.
Taziekin, my comments were not ment to be insulting about the superiority thing, bad Cal was just trying to be funny... that and the fact I catch myself using the word "shaft" alot in my stories.
I appologise... for giving you the shaft, so to speak, especially if I hurt your feelings.
Sincerely, Calanthee
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I'm sick of seeing the word "shaft". And why do alot of authers (published and online alike) sometimes make every little thing people do to eachother sound like the most amazing thing in the world? Some would aparantly have us believe you can make someone orgasm just from a kiss. Personally the transfering of saliva doesn't do it for me.
Dear Taziekins, depends on who's doing the kissing and where the kiss is actually put!
Stop doing the superior dance... Yo, one would think you don't like sex. And if you write or read on Aff we know that's not true... now don't we? Perhaps you perfer things just a bit more kinky than normal is that it???
Nothing is wrong with Shaft and a extended Shaft covered with saliva is even better It's better than seeing cock till it comes out your ears. Sex is amazing, especially when there is so many varied ways to do it...who wants a unexciting and boring sex scene, why bother to write it, read it or do it!
The Lovely Cal
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Dear DarkInuLord,
Don't get down on yourself, everyone has a dry period once in while, daily normal life can get its nasty claws wrapped around your throat... and it cuts off your creativity for a while and chases your muse away for awhile. Poor baby!
Try to focus on one creative thing at a time, good, bad, or indifferent, and follow through with even if its sucks in your mind. The mind is like sore muscle, eventually it will get itself back to normal and the soreness will go away.
Don't give up, Promise yourself, Cal
Evil gaming can be insideous adicting it warps the mind... but lol its also fun! An adict
Some time when we are too focus on one aspect of creativity... it constipates the mind, try something different, bake a cake, go dancing, sing karoke....purge yourself and do something totally different from what you normally do... even if your friends laugh... true friend will understand!
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Banned for banning other people!
Banned for being a virgin and being the Goddess of Passion too...errrrrrrrrrr sounds not very logical
Evil Cal -
Hi all,
I've got a story idea for Knightmare. A dungeoneer is on a quest but finds himself followed by weird white blobs - which he is warned are deadly. He tries to escape, climbing out of their reach, going down wells, etc. but they just keep following. And to make it worse, they seem to have communicated with eachother and others are coming. And they're not all small...
I don't know how I want it to end, but I'm not ruling out a gruesome one.
I'm wondering how long I can keep such a story up, and what twists and turns it might be possible for me to add in to make it a bit more interesting than a simple hounding chase.
Anyone got any tips?
In the end Make your white blob monsters good and the dungeoneer evil!
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*Chucks Blender at plant pod and aids vodka*
*makes alien vegetable juice with a kick... sorta like Yucky bloody Mary*
Person above you game
in Forum Games
Posted
This person is open wicked Potterite, with an unhealthy interest in severed skulls and a pile of dead cows, gee what a strange fetish. Cal
Ps What's next Cow mutalations??? LOL