InBrightestDay

Haha
Scottish accent: “Och, it wasn’t so wee...”
Lupa had to finish herself off the second time, he may need another look at the walkthrough, mind.
Yeah, but I wanted to include more! More than plenty! Gags every other line! And not the BDSM kind!
Oh, yeah, that dude at the con was definitely a multiplayer COD fan. But not the same asshole from You! because Sarsa’s probably cut that dude up by this point. See, sometimes two wrongs do make a right!
My jokes about COD have all been around the multiplayer stereotypes I think – with both Drew and that unnamed dude going in for that stuff.
Gaming culture in general has a lot of assholes. Which sucks.
I quoted this whole section just so the neat snake pics would show up again in the thread. Also it’s interesting to read! I’m 99% sure that top danger noodle is the type I had in mind with snake dude’s coloring! I don’t even like trying the patience of domestic animals tbh. One day the hamster snaps, kicks it’s wheel over, and suddenly there’s blood everywhere and high pitched squeaks of pure rage as the owners try to flee...
Milking someone’s snake? Well, me and low hanging fruit do kinda go together.
Kate’s also got that human side, and I heard ‘bout that endurance running hypothesis suggesting we’ve got some talent for that too, so I guess werewolves can go even further! Which sucks if you’re trying to get away from one.

I figured as much.  After all, other characters have never called her anything more than curvy.
Apparently in spite of never doing 2 player before, he’s pretty good with his Wii.  I REGRET NOTHING!!!
You got plenty of them!  I just didn’t want to quote everything that made me laugh, as the review was kind of long as it was.
Depressingly, I don’t think that’s necessary to explain it.  Gaming, especially of the competitive variety (multiplayer matches and such), seems to be like a dog whistle to assholes, at least from what I’ve read.  I admittedly don’t really do a lot of online play.  In fact, I have two Call of Duty games (Black Ops and Black Ops II) and as unthinkable as it may seem, I own those for the single player campaign, meaning that I have handily avoided the bullshit that goes on in stereotypical CoD multiplayer.
So, for anyone who understandably didn’t get my hilarious snake identification joke, when I read “red and black and yellow banded,” being from Florida I immediately thought of the eastern coral snake (Micrurus fulvius), which looks like this:

It’s an incredibly beautiful animal that uses bright colors to warn potential predators that it’s venomous (a phenomenon called “aposematic coloration”).  For the record, it’s also really mellow and nonaggressive.  I ran into one of these things in the wild once (my class was out in the woods looking for samples for Mycology class and suddenly I discovered this thing about four feet from me) and it didn’t hiss or curl up or anything; it just lazily slithered past me.
Of course, now that I’ve said that, I should add that just because it’s mellow does not mean that its patience is infinite.  Inevitably a news story will appear about some idiot who saw how chill this snake is and tried picking it up, at which point it reminded said idiot that it is, in fact, dangerously venomous.  For the love of God, do not try the patience of a wild animal.  Consider this your snake PSA for the day.
What was I talking about?  Oh, right!
So, since animals learn to recognize the banded colors of the coral snake, several species of harmless snakes have evolved color patterns that look similar in the hopes that potential predators will be fooled (a phenomenon called “Batesian mimicry”).  The most famous of these is no doubt the milk snake (Lampropeltis triangulum), but I knew that if I said “milk snake” in that review, JayDee was going to make some joke about milking somebody’s snake, so instead I went with the scarlet kingsnake (Lampropeltis elapsoides), which looks like this:

So there you go, just in case anybody had forgotten that I was a Bio major.
Yeah, I think that has to do with both how it’s easier on the artist and how it kind of evokes lush, tropical vegetation (a lot of these snake monsters tend to be from the jungle).
That’s a really cool idea, the cheetah as opposed to the wolf (and wolves are known for being able to run long distances).

A Gamer Girl With Bite
Firstly, thanks for taking the time to read through and leave a review. I do appreciate you folks coming back time after time for these original short stories.
The shorty thing comes from originally Mike was going to be Drew, who is really short in human form (he’s 10’ as a demon, described as nearly twice her height, but as a human he’s described as barely taller than her), but when I went for a using an all new non-rapey character I made changes like removing his glasses, giving him long hair, and a much skinnier build. His problem is that he’s exercising a lot, but not getting his diet quite right, so ending up too skinny.
As for Lupa, there isn’t actually anything wrong with her weight, but thanks to various societal bullshit and some past negative comments she’s had, and the like, she’s got some body issues. Covering herself up to avoid the sun as a vampire she felt wasn’t the worst part of it, but she’s getting over them. Support and positivity from her friends is a big help, though.
Gotta use that Nintendo Power. Later on, he gets Nintendo Hard. Always good to get a laugh I actually did try for some more jokey jokes throughout, didn’t get as many as I’d have liked.
That’s the big part of it really – he didn’t want to seem to be approving or supporting the comment, and it was kind of directed to him about Lupa. She absolutely coulda torn that guy a new asshole (I mean, verbally, but also literally if it came to it). That asshole maybe got corrupted by some Sarsa fanfic…
Janet offered the dev team a more diverse perspective to their mostly straight male design process. They weren’t aware that her career highlights included unleashing a rape demon in a convent, or that she was feeling a little pissed about how her half-demon son was barely scraping through college and couldn’t get a girlfriend despite being such a nice guy with his new neckbeard and fedora… 
Thanks! I guess as a vampire wherever she goes there’s some spooky shit going down, but mostly it’s her happening to people.
Call it foreshadowing. He does strip later :p
Something something Shannon’s scarlet kingsnake something something… I honestly just remembered the look of the snake with those bright colors but couldn’t have named it. I’m glad the design works tho’ I’ve seen a lot of Naga looking dudes just have a basic green tail.
The way I figure her speed is that she’s really fast in short jumpy bursts, and she can keep it up a while, but she doesn’t have the endurance that Kate would have. Plus, she’s still really young as a vampire, even with a couple years dead at that point, and using her strength and her speed and the rest all together is something she’s still really mastering. The extra training she’s been getting probably helps some with that. Might be interesting to write it from her perspective sometime, something to try at least!
Janet’s used to seeing demon shit going down, but non-cosplay weapons at a gamer convention? Someone goofed!
Shannon’s not the only demon that swallows around there. Thanks!
There’s some of the regeneration on a smaller scale in You! too – Lupa bites you to heal her burns from blowing out the monitor infused with Sarsa’s demon magic story. She also feeds messier- she probably bit you in the wrong place and had a little too much blood coming out there.
Heh, this one made me laugh.
When it comes to porn hotness is in the eye of the beholder. If folks say it’s hot to them then that’s fine by me and I can count it a success, but it seemed like it was lacking something to me when it was written even though I found the idea really appealing (the bit I liked best was Mike’s oral on Lupa). Maybe Shannon’s own insecurity free porn loving take was what helped the other one, or it could just be that besides the brief bit in Jude’s Tale I’m out of practice at writing sex stuff – the other recent bits have really been re-writes.
I figured Sarsa was a) likely to be establishing different personalities online as part of extending her control through different areas and b) exactly the kind of toxic user who creates sockpuppets to either attack others or have conversations about how great she is, or attack herself so she can get sympathy defences. Janet saw through at least some of ‘em, possibly due to the quality of Sarsa’s writing.
I got the Lady part from how I’d had Janet call her my lady, and the Billi part after deciding Sarsa’s original angel name was Dyoel (she got it from Billy Joel)…
And on that terrible thought, thank you again for the review. It’s really decent of you to say alla this nice stuff about my story!

Well, I had to look that up, but tragically no.  It actually looked like a small apartment in Florida with lights that never seemed bright enough, and a dog who had a creeping sense of separation anxiety.
Ain’t nobody debating the hotness of Mizore!   Though I will say there’s something kind of funny about calling a spirit associated with snow “hot.”  As for the yuki-onna themselves, I’ve done a bit of research into them, along with other yokai, for a story I’m writing (no idea if I’ll pull it off, but I’m shooting for “creepy romance”), and there are a lot of different depictions depending, it seems, on what region of Japan you’re in.  Sometimes yuki-onna are terrifying (some stories have them stealing children or eating children’s livers), sometimes they’re just kind of sad, and sometimes they’re both (the aforementioned Snow Bride story), so authors have a lot of leeway in terms of how to portray them.
Sorry!  That was my fault; I should have just said “reapers” or “guides to the afterlife” or something.

Could you use your tiny hammer of yours, or did you need to use another tool?
On a more serious note...JayDee...you really need to not let bad thoughts about your writing skills drag you down. Looking at what I have read from you there is clearly a difference in improved quality over time. Not everything you write these days might be brilliant, but it very far ahead of most fanfic writers out there and most importantly far better than your fics around here that you seem embarrassed about.

Just a random idea...if writing longer pieces is hard you maybe could try to use the flashfic format to get a draft out, but not be bound by length when you make adjustments after feedback from betas. If you need more beta readers I am sure we can work something out...
 

Oh, well, in that case my tolerance does have a limit.  Don’t expect to get reviews from me on any of your snuff fics, for instance.
Abdul: “I’m surprised Luzurial let you smash that woman’s box.”
Kevin: “Hey, she approved of me smashing...” *facepalm* “...oh, son of a-”
Abdul: “Tell me, was it difficult with that tiny hammer of yours?”
Kevin: “The hammer was not tiny!  It was a perfectly average, normal-size hammer!  Luzurial can back me up on this.”
Luzurial: “I will not be drawn into these shenanigans.”
Calista: “Listening to this conversation is so much more entertaining than the New Years’ celebration.”
I know exactly what that’s like.  I can get images in my head, but the problem is that they usually arrive in visual form, like a movie, so I have to try to translate them into words.

It’s like a horror film when someone thinks it’s a monster… and it was!
I used to lurk on the old Godawful Fanfiction forum, since just about every story I’d written at the time was linked there. There was a lot of stuff posted that was worse than mine, sure. I know my way around the barely readable bullshit! And I meant in terms of content and themes rather than terrible grammatical constructions :p
Feel free to use it! Ya know you’re welcome to use anything you need from my stuff anyhow. I’m sure readers would love to see Kevin smashing a necromancer’s box.
What’s weird is I have the ideas, it’s getting the phrasing down, constructing the sentences so they flow and hold the interest and read good. I’ve managed it before, but it’s kicking my ass trying it again.

Before I get into this, I’d just like to tell you that I was signed on writing a reply on another thread when you posted this.  I happened to have headphones on, but had Youtube paused.
The point of all this is that I was jumpscared by a notification.
Anyway…
You haven’t seen barely readable bullshit.  I don’t want to name names, but I’ve read some stuff that is riddled with typos to the point of it being genuinely distracting.
Well, while the use of Hsilgne would have fit with other demonic casting, it’s entirely possible that spells designed for mortal use might, once cast, respond to commands in the user’s own language.  Also, it would have lost the comedic value.
Seriously, that made me laugh so hard I kind of want to reference it in the Holiday Special now.
*As Luzurial is dealing with the Dread Tree*
Necromancer: “No!  I can’t let you stop me.”  *places backup weapon* “Box...”
Kevin: *smashes box with a hammer* “I don’t know exactly what that was going to do, but I’mma just preemptively say fuck that noise.”
 That would make sense!  I think Thundercloud’s even mentioned it.
Who knows?  Sometimes ideas come to you when you’re not thinking about the story in question, at least not consciously.

Asras' Abomination may be the first of a series of prompt oneshots showing the effects of dark magics and demon dealings. If so I’m tempted to change part one to an index page, move it into paranormal general, and lump them in together given the connected themes and recurring characters that’ll no doubt show up.I seem to recall that’s allowed *Checks guidelines* yep – specific exception for Table of Contents for oneshot collections!
I’ve finally realised putting ‘Flashfic’ in the summary is a good way to let folks know how damn short it’ll be too, to avoid folks getting over excited by the story codes.
Anyway @InBrightestDay has kindly reviewed it, due to what must be the site’s highest tolerance for my barely readable bullshit.
Thank you for revieing this! I’ve always said tentacle porn is one of my weaker areas, keeping it real short may have helped me hide the deficiencies but absolutely is gonna leave it too short for anybody to really enjoy as porn. I’m actually kinda surprised there is any hot imagary, so thanks for that, but thanks also for the frank appraisal of why it’s got negatives. S’all good feedback.
Heh, I’ve said before I’m not great at subtlety. You’ve nailed it there with some of the folks I was thinking about- ya see an evil summary, ya know it’s wrong, don’t damn well read it! Asras is no Mary Sue! Just because her magic is the strongest anyone has ever seen and even Voldie loves her for it… Oh, wait a sec…
In Slumberverse America, Box X you. Initially I was going to have the box require the old backwards speaking reh ckuf etc, but I felt that might actually need explaining within the story and there wasn’t the word count, so eventually I just decided the spell was dumbed down enough to only need ‘Box’ for the commands.
Oooh! This one was waaay overthought. Basically, Octavia’s a shoes fan. She goes in the room, everyone is wearing in dancing shoes on that expensive wooden sprung floor, so not worthy of comment in her thoughts. Then in stomps Kizzy wearing totally unsuitable boots… and stomps right through a box onto that expensive floor. Kizzy wearing docs got a mention in another story somewhere. Quite why she favors them is a bit of a mystery, I suspect they were a present.
Heh, thanks. I liked it! I figure another time I can have folks get the vampire/werewolf mixed up too “Lupa? So you must be the werewolf?”
“Oh sure! Yeah, when I was born they said ‘This kid? She’s gonna be a werewolf some day!’ Fuck you, I’m a bitch but I’m not a bitch.“
They got some great stuff on that internet.
Thank you again for your review! I don’t do the prompt fics really expecting reviews, but it’s nice at least to get something down and created and of course to make something of DG’s efforts in setting the prompts. I wonder now if I can get the damn re-write done or if I’ll just end up doing another prompt fic.

Re: “Snow”
From InBrightestDay on April 24, 2019
Wow, what’s it like there? I’m picturing damp stone walls, bare bulbs dangling from the ceiling...basically Drusselstein.
I learned about yuki-onna from watching Rosario + Vampire.  (I don’t watch a lot of anime, but now and then one sucks me in.) I thought the young yuki-onna Mizore was hot, and I liked the concept – sort of sirens of the snow.
Thanks! Sticking to the limit definitely took some doing.
(Full disclosure: I had to look up “psychopomp” at Dictionary.com.) I have the idea that members of Hisashi’s family have been doing this for a few generations at least. (They’re prone to cancer, but it doesn’t tend to strike until they are in their 40s or 50s, after they’ve had kids.) They know where to go to find a yuki-onna; then she gets a meal, and the terminally ill man gets a pleasant death. 
Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Alright, but how impolite and unpleasant is it to take a positive, upbeat, cheerful and indeed outright gushing thread of praise to the forum and selfishly make a negative comment about oneself?
Exactly! Real unpleasant and downright rude. What kind of toxic asshole would do such a thing? But, yes, other people are just great. Much praise for the admin team, the mod team, and that unquiet spirit that keeps trying to communicate through the black diamonds.
JayDee, genuinely awful person (for further evidence, see An Actor Abducted)

People are real polite here. Other people, I mean. I’m pretty unpleasant.

Thank you! Our forum staff works hard to make sure this is a welcoming place, and I know they’ll love hearing from you!

Ikr? Been writing online since the dinasaurs and this was the only place I kept coming back to. 
 

Can I just say it's really nice to have a forum and a writing forum especially where the atmosphere is generally pretty comfortable as well as actually helpful? Like I feel perfectly fine asking staff or other posters a question or for advice, because I’d actually get legit answers with no drama attached. I've been on plenty of forums before, and this is one of the very few that I feel like I'm going to be sticking with. For some reason I've noticed that people who are open about writing adult material come off as much less high-strung then people who don't (or who loudly proclaim to be against it).
TL;DR: Just wanted to show my appreciation to AFF’s forums for being a non-toxic place (if it is, then it’s very well-hidden, lol). I don’t see that very often.

Of course it’s weird. That’s why I like it.

Given the sheer, insane volume of your work, I really figured I shouldn’t stop looking through it just because I didn’t like some of the stories.  Heck, there can be stories in the same series that net different reactions from me.
That’s pretty neat.  I caught a mention of “beach glass” and “fish” at the beginning of the story, but it never occurred to me that the deities were based on actual people.  I actually just assumed the King of the Mists was a reference to your loli stories. 
At the risk of sounding weird...well weirder, that’s actually exactly what I like about “nursing” like that: beyond the purely sexual aspect, it’s a warm, soothing form of intimate contact, for both partners.  I’m a big fan of gentle affection (hugs, cuddling), and nursing has always felt like part of that, an act that bridges erotic and emotional intimacy.
That’s just in general.  As you said, it’s even more powerful in the context of the story, given Tony’s parental neglect and Annie and Cherisse’s maternal attitudes.
So yeah...sorry if that was weird. 
No problem!   There’s another story of yours I’ll be reviewing fairly soon.  It’s going to be a few days, though, since I won’t have internet for a few days, and while I wrote this post on my phone, I really don’t like writing reviews on it.

Given the sheer, insane volume of your work, I really figured I shouldn’t stop looking through it just because I didn’t like some of the stories.  Heck, there can be stories in the same series that net different reactions from me.
That’s pretty neat.  I caught a mention of “beach glass” and “fish” at the beginning of the story, but it never occurred to me that the deities were based on actual people.  I actually just assumed the King of the Mists was a reference to your loli stories. 
At the risk of sounding weird...well weirder, that’s actually exactly what I like about “nursing” like that: beyond the purely sexual aspect, it’s a warm, soothing form of intimate contact, for both partners.  I’m a big fan of gentle affection (hugs, cuddling), and nursing has always felt like part of that, an act that bridges erotic and emotional intimacy.
That’s just in general.  As you said, it’s even more powerful in the context of the story, given Tony’s parental neglect and Annie and Cherisse’s maternal attitudes.
So yeah...sorry if that was weird. 
No problem!   There’s another story of yours I’ll be reviewing fairly soon.  It’s going to be a few days, though, since I won’t have internet for a few days, and while I wrote this post on my phone, I really don’t like writing reviews on it.

Re: A Beach Like No Other
From InBrightestDay on April 18, 2019
 No problem. I’m happy to have a review on any of them, any time!
We all have our  things. I’m glad you weren’t so turned off by Guidelines et al that you stopped reading my stories all together.
The contrast is deliberate. Tony really appreciates their kindness because he knows too well what the lack of it is like.
Because the story is sort of a tribute to the art of Glassfish, I wanted to include her in the story in some way, and making her the creator of the Beach seemed appropriate. (Also, the bit about the King of the Mists is a nod to the artist Fogbank, who mainly draws pics of lolis cavorting with adult men.)
I like to mix different kinds of desires. Tony’s “nursing” on Cherisse is a sexual thing, but at the same time, it’s a reflection of his wish for a real mother figure, which Cherisse (and Annie) provide, in a way.
I’m glad you enjoyed it and that you appreciate the spirit in which it was written. Thanks very much for the review!

The Least I Can Do is...kind of an odd thing.  In 2008, I read JayDee’s story Whore of Heaven in the mistaken belief that it not being snuff meant that the female lead, the Archangel Luzurial, would be okay in the end.  What she ended up as was the opposite of okay.  Instead of being angry or grossed out (I can handle gore fairly well), I was just really sad for her, to the point that I emailed JayDee and asked if I could write a non-canon sequel where things got better for her.  Ten years later, that ended up as the giant modern fantasy story The Woman in the Statue, which JayDee enjoyed enough that it actually became canon (and which I will finish some day!).  However, as I started posting WitS, I decided I’d post reviews for Whore of Heaven, mostly because reviewing is always the nice thing to do on AFF, and because it felt wrong not to leave reviews for the thing I was currently writing a sequel to.  I figured that, having already read it, it wouldn’t be as upsetting the second time around.
I was wrong.
So I spent at least a week depressed after rereading WoH, and during that week, I went home from work one night, sat down at my computer and this story just kind of happened.  I didn’t post it initially, but Azrael visiting his friend is something JayDee mentioned a couple times in other stories, and lately The Least I Can Do, or at least the subject matter, has popped up in conversations recently, so I finally decided to post it.
Speaking of @JayDee…
Part of what changed from the rough draft I sent you months back is the timeline.  For those only reading now, the timeskip originally went to “8 billion years later,” shortly after the Sun would have finished casting off its outer layers and becoming a white dwarf.  But then, while discussing my Whore of Heaven reviews, JayDee clarified that no angels were actually meant to have released Luzurial, but that she was only supposed to be freed when the coating disintegrated due to entropy.  This meant the time for her release went from 120 trillion years in the future (after the last stars burn out) to an absolute minimum of 2 trillion trillion trillion years in the future, and given how mean-spirited the original ending of WoH was, I figure it’s better to assume maximum proton half-life, which means it would take 30 million trillion trillion trillion years for all matter to break down.
That’s why the timeskip moved to 140 trillion years in, to reflect that even after all the stars have burned out, she’s still there, still suffering in ways the human mind can’t even comprehend, and not only is her entire previous life a nigh-invisible speck compared to how long she’s spent being tortured, but even the amount of time she’s spent being tortured so far is itself a nigh-invisible speck compared to how much agony she has to look forward to.
Of course, that’s also why I have Azrael visiting and holding her hand.  It doesn’t alleviate her suffering, and she might not even be able to sense anything other than pain, but he just wants her to know she isn’t alone.
I suppose it might serve as a bit of a consolation prize.  I even twisted the knife further with the condemnatory tone of the Seraphim’s orders not to release her, drawing on stuff you said in the past for vintage JayDee flavor.
I kind of debated who would be talking to Azrael.  Originally it was the Archangel Uriel, and for a while it was the Archangel Samael, just to suggest how bad what’s happening is.  In addition to being an angel of death, Samael serves as Ha-Satan (“the accuser,” not to be confused with Heylel/Lucifer), responsible for arguing against humanity; he’s sometimes referred to as a prosecuting attorney.  I imagine this requires him to be super detached, so if something was making him uncomfortable, it had to be bad.
Ultimately, though, I put Lailah in there for two reasons.  First, because I liked the “bookends” idea, that as Angel of Conception she’s kind of the opposite of Azrael and Samael.  Second, I liked the idea of her little interaction with Bernice.
I mean, woman died trying to attack a demon to rescue an angel, in the process displaying the most moral courage and basic decency of anyone present.  She’s probably going somewhere nice.  I figured that once she got there, her first concern would probably still be what was happening to Luzurial, and even knowing that she’s a cop and that breaking the rules would not be something she approves of, I imagine she would still feel grateful for Luzurial trying to help and wouldn’t want to see her suffer.
And I did like Lailah’s interaction with her.  Bernice is Jewish, after all, so she may have heard childhood stories about Lailah and it’s kind of surreal meeting her (it’s surreal meeting Michael as well, but there Bernice is more focused on getting help, so the weirdness of the situation is pushed into the background), and Lailah of course is in full Mom mode, trying to comfort an upset child.
Yeah, I kind of liked that too.  The idea is that he’s just as upset about not being allowed to help Luzurial as everyone else is, and given the amount of power he’s channeling, just a little bit getting released is basically an explosive shockwave.
That is correct.  As far as WitS and associated stories go, everything pre-timeskip is canon.
That’s actually an interesting idea, that perhaps new things are added to Heaven by mortals who go there, but in this case that pyramid was meant to be an older feature.  I was thinking that the structures built by angels would be really ancient architecture, and the pyramid I had envisioned was sort of a hybrid of Egyptian and Mesoamerican architecture, with the overall smooth sides looking like an Egyptian pyramid, but with inlaid steps like an Aztec pyramid.  The gold and marble were just colors I sort of liked.  I have another short story I want to write, set during the Fall (would likely go in the Bible section due to that) and with Lailah as the PoV character, with Luzurial, Gabriel and others showing up as well, where the story starts with fighting on the side of the pyramid, complete with some of the attacks flying back and forth melting bits of it (it’s been fixed by TLICD).
Yeah, I kind of wanted the idea that Azrael is a little jaded to the death going on on Earth, but when Lailah suggests that something worse is happening, that creeps him out.
Yeah, that was a decision made by a rather detached one, I’d imagine, who wasn’t thinking with a lot of empathy.

As with my Originals review reply thread, this is currently for a single story, but who knows?  Maybe I’ll have more stories in this category in the future.

Kizurial: “You do realize who Shondra Jackson is, do you not?”
Azrael:  “...No.  Not at all.  Should I?”
That’s actually kind of a staple of parallel realities; they can be extremely similar, save for a few small changes.
Actually that is pretty funny.  I just somehow didn’t see it while reading.
Time for me to get nerdy.  There’s a Dungeons & Dragons 3rd Edition supplement called the Book of Exalted Deeds, and it was a supplement for noble heroes, just as its counterpart, the Book of Vile Darkness, was for DMs to design particularly nasty villains (that second one gets a little edgelordy at points).  At any rate, the reason I bring it up is that BoED contains some minor Good deities, and one of them is Lastai, “the goddess of pleasure, love and passion.”  Lastai teaches that sexual pleasure is meant to be enjoyed, but with none of the malign elements that evil beings might add on.
While there are sins associated with sex (adultery, abuse, rape) sex itself isn’t sinful, and I imagine that Chastia and others like her may have been meant to be more like Lastai: envoys of sexual intimacy as an expression of love and affection without any form of abuse or cruelty.  It would explain both Shannon’s intense enjoyment of sex and her bubbly personality and kindness to those around her.
I mean, I get it, nobody knows anything about God; faith wouldn’t be a thing if everyone just knew, but I do think that a sadistic monotheistic deity, while potentially consistent with the letter of the sacred texts, is inconsistent with their spirit.

The Slumber Party of Evil Doom – I made some changes to part 3 to fit in with The Woman in the Statue’s new future, and then I was all set to finally finish off Blood on the Hay when I realised that there were still some issues based on the characters as they’ve developed – Kate still works fine though, gotta love that pack mentality... So I did part 4 to try and deal with that as much as anything, oh, and also because the prompts were pretty hard to fit in but I had a realistic way to use that damn slipper. Don’t know if I can finally finish Kate’s story now or not, but I’m closer to it...
Thanks for your review! Absolutely some retconning going on. Part 3 was actually re-written to fit in, while part 4 is more in the way of adding new information to change the meaning of part 1 and make Lupa a little more sympathetic. I hadn’t worked out Lupa’s backstory when I wrote part 1! I’m glad it makes more sense now!
I’d argue there are some movies that tell the different characters paths in the same film – Pulp Fiction for one – but, yes, Part 3 does go firmly away from Slumber Party territory so I totally see what you mean.
Shannon would happily have got it on, but it’s just not been that kind of story. Thank you though, I am glad it’s a good read!
Made me smile, too! Heck, it made Kizzy smile.
Thanks again, I appreciate this review and your time in leaving it.

Okay, I have to point this out.
And then…

Man, it’s almost like you planned that.

A review on “Closing Time” by @InBrightestDay
I certainly had fun with it, and developing the backstory in my mind. I had actually thought about having the fight done in the Halloween short before settling on the fantasy stuff that I did. 
I’m glad you found it kind of funny, cause reading it again I find it a bit awkward. I really was struggling with that part to put it out without sounding overly clumsy. At least there’s some humour for it.
Yep, typo. Supposed to be left leg.
Heh. I did enjoy that line. I couldn’t not put it in once I thought of it.
Well since the whole story was centred around this one night stand, I couldn’t help but just have that attraction and sexual tension start as soon as Lili walked in through the door. Then I started thinking about how to not just make it sexy, but kind of relatable for something that really is bordering on the edge of fantasy (Full on fantasy to me cause I know the backstory). So a couple little moments here and there I felt would help that. And since you liked it, I think it worked.
And yes. Yes I meant screaming, lol. 
The bit at the end I meant to hint at a lonely life Lili has been living. And the drooling well… I included that cause too often media shows sleeping women as these perfect little creatures of beauty. I thought a nice little drool bit might really bring it down to reality. 
Glad you enjoyed! And thank you for reading and commenting!