InBrightestDay

I might have a story.  I’m thinking I want The Spider House to be something you can find from my profile page, but I have a story already started (it just sort of popped into my head one night and I wrote part of it; JayDee’s seen what I have) that I’m calling After Party that does feature the same couple and is set, as the title implies, just after a Halloween party.  I’ll see if I can get it done in time.

I might have a story.  I’m thinking I want The Spider House to be something you can find from my profile page, but I have a story already started (it just sort of popped into my head one night and I wrote part of it; JayDee’s seen what I have) that I’m calling After Party that does feature the same couple and is set, as the title implies, just after a Halloween party.  I’ll see if I can get it done in time.

The Slumber Party of Evil Doom now at 2070 dragon prints and that story that makes people viewing updates on Originals go “Fuckssakes, is that idiot still churning this dreck out?” (I like writing it, but I totally get why it doesn’t exactly get folks raving!) gets a review on the new part!
I think the next part will be the final part. Maybe one more. In which case I’ll do another flashfic first so I don’t have to try to fit week 210’s words in.
Thank you for your review! I really appreciate getting them. You’ve stuck through it all, when most have shuddered and hit that back button so hard the mouse cracked. Our lives are too short to waste them reading this kind of thing readers say, and they may be right. We only live once! So thank you for sacrificing a little slice of your slither of eternity on reading and reviewing it! I am glad ya liked it.
Thanks! Little does Lupa know she’s got years of that to look forward to.
Shannon had the ability in Fucking Halloween Party so I figured she could get an “earlier in timeline” show off here!
It’s a robust genital related expression of shock/surprise/excitement, used much like “holy fuck” or “oh fuck”.
And this from a girl who can move really fast, turn into mist and mesmerise people.
Shannon is a really decent friend for a demon! I figured she probably didn’t think about it earlier because she had the assumption they would all be there and she’d do the business with her existing location gimmick built into the bracelet. Then suddenly Kizzy is going in alone and it clicks.
This was the bit I wasn’t sure would work of course, hence sending you the original rough draft. It ties back in to why Kizzy is on Earth in the first place, because the Seraphim need to understand rather than just know. She’s tough though. She’ll be right.
Course she would! I mean, she turns up and basically goes “most popular girl in school!” and, yes, ok, she did send a cheerleader’s soul to Hell to get a spot on the team, but that Charity kind of had it coming, but even being super popular because of what a people person she is, she would still look out for the friends she made on her first day, who ended up her closest friends. I bet Kate and Lupa and Kiz would defend their friends with whatever other folks they hung out with too, if Shannon wasn’t there to jolly people along into being nice, and maybe engage in sexual experimentation.
“Shannon created a temporal fold of pure lust where time moved more slowly...” No, I kid, I kid. Shannon would have thoroughly enjoyed a threesome, as noted with her thoughts in the last part, but time was a factor both generally for tracking Kate, and also because of her last minute worry about Kizzy. So she basically persuaded them, with a good dose of succubus lust that there was nothing wrong with the feelings they had been suppressing for each other, and that they weren’t at the farm to make trouble and would be leaving shortly. Normally, of course, the Sherriff wouldn’t buy it, and the Deputy definitely wouldn’t, but somehow their hands were inside each other’s coats, and there was a bed inside the farmhouse, and, well, they were obviously good girls. They’d said Grace. And Shannon worked fast, but not fast enough, and once again a friend got hurt. She probably felt that.
Anyway, thank you for your review! How you manage to keep making it through this stuff…

I am seriously jealous, but also very proud!  Congratulations on your first published book!

I just realized how appropriate that title is for this...  lol.
Well, it's done.  I've joined the published.  What a feeling that was!  Still...  coming to terms with that.
But, done it!  Self published, self edited, but still, one goal, one dream, crossed off the list.  And a very special thanks to @CloverReef.  She was kind enough create a cover for it based off my, potentially incoherent ramblings.
https://www.amazon.com/kindle-dbs/author/ref=mw_dp_a_ap?_encoding=UTF8&author=T.C. Rasch&searchAlias=books&asin=B07X9VPS6R

::hugs her Witch:: Love you, lady!   

That is so beautiful. Thank you, pittwitch. 

A long, long time ago, in what feels like another lifetime, I wrote a tribute piece for a dear friend who passed away.  The piece was for publication in the flyer for his memorial race.  Yesterday, his son, now my neighbor, stood in my yard, with tears in his eyes, thanking me for writing the piece, capturing what that part of his dad’s life was all about.  I didn’t sign the piece.  He just knew it was me.  He says he goes through his dad’s scrapbook every year, takes out that flyer, and smiles.
So for those of us who write, alone in the dark, with no idea who is reading, keep writing.  If your words only touch one person, you have succeeded!  Keep writing!

Author’s Note for expanded/merged story to be linked from story:
So here’s the thing. Originally, “The Slumber Party of Evil Doom” and “Blood on the Hay” (BOTH) worked ok as seperate stories, they were a couple chapters each and there wasn’t anything else going on. Then I got to writing more parts, and other stories with the characters and now it feels that Blood on the Hay should be merged with the slumber party as a continuation, with the story as a whole covering the four friends discovering each other’s new natures, and then going after Kate after she ran away in part 2 of Slumber Party.
Since the admin is probably still really busy I have decided to delete it myself and add the existing two chapters myself. This sadly means losing the hit count from BOTH (currently a whopping 2182 hits since the original posting date of 2011-03-24 / later same year for part 2, and sadly also the reviews. Though lost from the archive, they can remain on the forum! I am re-quoting the original four reviews on BOTH in this post - I have responded previously in this thread, but this allows anyone following the link to see them all in one place. Also, thank you again to those of you who reviewed previously. I really appreciate that.
So I am not bumping a story to the top of originals with no new material I’ll also be posting a new chapter today with at least two more to come. (I split one long part into two to keep them both at the 1000 word flashfic limit, and also had another part I already started on.)
I will also be swapping part 4 of the Slumber Party story with part 3 so there’s a natural intermission with Eparlegna’s punishment, Blood on the Hay part 1 and 2 become slumber party part 5 and 6. Per above, this post in this thread is the author’s note explaining it, which I’ll link in the story! I probably won’t get around to going back and editing forum threads or story notes that refer to them as seperate stories any time soon, but I can point anybody who says they’re confused here. Seems unlikely tbh.
The original summary for BOTH “He has bad intentions for the girl sleeping rough in his barn...” may have given some readers entirely the wrong impression. Guffaw. (Edit – although, thinking about it, the fact it got a couple hundred more hits in two chapters than slumber party did for four over roughly the same period absolutely suggests pervs are more willing to take a chance on a story than non-pervs… am I right? :p. Slumber Party currently at 1955 hits!)
Phew. Hope it makes sense. Anyway, those original Blood on the Hay reviews:
...not many people read these non-sex stories – even with the sex in Jude’s Tale it didn’t get a lot of readers, but I enjoy writing them so eh. I’ll never be Stephen King or Jo Rowling and that’s ok

I can totally understand your concerns.
I totally agree that magic item is downright nasty and very much out scale with what Lynn could reasonably be handling. Basically it is artifact level power item that is granted in an exchange that does seem to scale reasonably from what the heroes know.

It could also be worth to mentioning that if we look behind the scenes of things the cursed bracelet cannot actually touch soul of the victim so it is not entirely true that it destroy the original person totally. For the rest of the lifetime of the victim they will be passive watchers of what their body experience but eventually they will get free when the body dies.
The difficulties of suddenly becoming basically all powerful is very much the theme I was out to cover with this character so I am actually quite satisfied with you finding it unnerving.
Very true.
They not mentioning Firefly is a neglect from my writing skills. The characters are assuming is that if they can find the means to deal with the tricky case of Eagle then Firefly will be trivial to fix since the brotherhood did not use so much “violence” for her brainwashing so her is a simple case. It seems I failed to actually make the characters spell this out. I will work this into the dialogue at some suiting point.
Her refusing to acknowledge her Carol parts is very much meant as a mechanics to cope with the trauma and you would be wise to not trust the characters point of view totally in this. If I ever get round to write a G.S.P. sequel I should really make sure to add a scene where Carol is shown to have truly recovered.   
Without spoiling too much I can also mention that there is plot reveal in final chapter that might put a different viewpoint on the Carol and Jennifer relation.
I very much enjoyed coming up with Mindeye’s new power...not very useful for a super hero but great fun if are a secret agent.
Yes, I am not alone! I find so very frustrating when super hero stories does not understand this.
I have seen One Punch Man and enjoyed it lots...but my story is actually older than the 2015 anime so I got there first. On the other hand I really understand your reference.
Great that you are working on your own story...I am very much looking forward to it.

Yep, we are moving towards the end game now where the big bad is actually to make his/her first appearance in the story.
In real life body circulate poison in the blood steam very quickly. The reason it goes slower here is basically that the demon is spending lots of energy on making sure the poison stays contained until they have figured something out. Could perhaps be cool to mention that in some way, will need to give it a thought.
It has mentioned earlier in the story that the demons are immune to psionics (or rather their defensive levels are so high that even Avalanche is out of luck)...kind of a large limitation to how much use Avalanche can be. That is pretty much why Cyclone never bothered to recruit a Psionic to his team and why his team is so helpless in this encounter. Btw...if we are speaking about overpowered characters I think it is very possible to issue a complaint towards Fang...
Like mentioned in my previous review response it is a neglect from my side that I don’t mention Linda having fixed Firefly.
Yep...that hole in the suit will surely raise some eyebrows.
Thank you for writing these wonderful reviews with so many good comments. I have toyed with reusing the werewolf mythology in some future story but never really found a suiting catch to tie it all together. So many story ideas and so little time.

I forgot to mention it in the review, but my absolute favorite joke in the story is Tinarah’s “There is so much wrong with that I don’t even know where to start...” reaction to the exchange.
I’m very sorry you went through that, but I am glad that your family was there for you and that you had a source of support.

Came here since InBrightestDay ping:ed me...actually got kind of interested in your story but I think I need to watch more of the real anime show first since it is on my list to watch and don’t want to spoil it.
Considering the average length of my chapters I think you have a fairly good speed and each review seriously deliver.
Lucky for you that the review alerts works...I have not got it to work so I need to log in of AFF to learn if I have a review. That is a drag.

Okay, wow LOL! Just so you know, every time I get an email saying that I got a review, I have a mini panic attack! 
First, I want to tell you that I literally laughed out loud at the “Specific Anime Offering”. Yes, I’m guilty of this story being loosely based off of SAO so no it wasn’t just a weird coincidence. When I finally started to binge the anime, I knew I wanted to write something on the lines of it before finishing the series but I didn’t want to use the actual characters. Talking to the mods about it, I was reminded that this has been done before (Jumanji, etc.) so I made the decision to make this Original instead of a fanfic.
The characters, at the time of the “entrapment”, do keep all of their items at the time. So, Tweety still has his bow, and J still has her abilities and summon monsters. 
One of these days I’ll come back to this story… and my other ones… >.> so thank you so much for the review! 

On Archive of Our Own, Orphaning a story is essentially to abandon it. However, my intentions is to write it completely, post it, then orphan it to keep it anonymous. 
Also, feel free to email me… I have a few interesting tips on outlining a story if you’re interested. Just Private Message me and I’ll give you my email!

So, I love writing fan fiction, but I discovered that to complete a story, I need to known where it is going. So I break down the events of chapters in bullet points:
Example:  Chapter One: Of Men and Monsters and of the Serpents Conspiracy (Spoiler for Ch. 01 of my Story)
I intend to post the entire story (when completed) on A03, before Orphaning my work there. The story posted on AFF here will be under my pen name. However, the story I am writing will occur from June 1996 to August 1998 – and I am brainstorming for more ideas. It will be very long – 1 months per ever 2 chapters or 3 chapters. It’s not fully etched out yet and not everything is set in stone. The introduction is over 9k words and it’s just beginning. 
It’s under the Threesomes/Moresome Harry Potter category and features 3Plus Abuse Anal Beast Bi Dom DP Ds FF Fingering Herm HJ Inc MF Minor2 MM MPreg OC Oral Preg Rim Solo Spank Tent Toys Violence Voy WD and a lot of breeding kink.  
I need more ideas on what to add in. I’ve got an original character who is magical royalty,  traitorous Ginny, a host of original characters, war mages, … I am willing to add in some requests people have for me… things they want to read, but can’t write….
This is so frustrating. 
 

Yay!  Another review for Charlotte and the crew in Tales of the Starbound Glory, this time from @InBrightestDay.
 
From InBrightestDay on July 14, 2019
 
Okay, full disclosure, given some of your other stories and the name of the ship...I actually thought this was going to be about space pirates before I started reading.
You still have your flair for action, and the attack on the French ship is visceral, not to mention that bit where, while disabling Abraham's hands, Charlotte ends up slashing him in a very...personal place.  He had it coming, but holy shit did that make me cringe.
Related to that, when Charlotte throws him out onto the deck, all the other crewmen attack him.  While I'm sure they know he's a perennial screwup, they don't necessarily know what he's done this time, only that their captain saw fit to punish him violently, and that's all they need to know.
I bring this up because while there were female pirates (Anne Bonny being one of the most famous), they were a definite minority, to the point that the ship's contract sometimes outright forbade women from being onboard.  Charlotte's male crew, meanwhile, is fiercely loyal to her, and I'd imagine there's a really interesting story about how she won their respect.
Charlotte felt her heart racing.  She didn't understand.  Not completely.
This actually made me laugh, because that was kind of my reaction.  I mean, Isolde was almost raped, and then was in the mood really fast.  I'm not complaining, mind you, since the sexual content was quite well done and pretty hot.
I did also like that bit where Charlotte attempts to flip across Isolde and ends up missing the bed and falling on the floor.  I think we've all misjudged where the bed ends at some point in our lives, so that made me laugh.
***
Okay, full disclosure, given some of your other stories and the name of the ship...I actually thought this was going to be about space pirates before I started reading.
Lol.  I certainly thought about making it space pirates, but a certain someone, I thought, would enjoy it as historical pirates.  I certainly did writing it.  .
 
You still have your flair for action, and the attack on the French ship is visceral, not to mention that bit where, while disabling Abraham's hands, Charlotte ends up slashing him in a very...personal place.  He had it coming, but holy shit did that make me cringe.
Related to that, when Charlotte throws him out onto the deck, all the other crewmen attack him.  While I'm sure they know he's a perennial screwup, they don't necessarily know what he's done this time, only that their captain saw fit to punish him violently, and that's all they need to know.
I'm glad my action scenes still have the attention capturing hold.  Lol.  I enjoyed writing it in the quick, rapid pacing with bloody violence, despite the research into cannon fire and the chain shot.  I'm glad it made you cringe, it was definitely meant to.
As for the crew, I definitely wanted to show that most are unconditionally loyal to Charlotte.  Always a few whi would be problems.  This so that eventually i might be able to expland as they come to.
I did also like that bit where Charlotte attempts to flip across Isolde and ends up missing the bed and falling on the floor.  I think we've all misjudged where the bed ends at some point in our lives, so that made me laugh.
Lol.  Yep.  I read somewhere that mistakes work for a first time scene and really felt that it works in terms of Charlotte's character.  Lol.
 

Okay, I had to show up just to call attention to that title!
Although that one’s kind of amazing too, in an almost poetic way.

Okay, I had to show up just to call attention to that title!
Although that one’s kind of amazing too, in an almost poetic way.

Okay, I had to show up just to call attention to that title!
Although that one’s kind of amazing too, in an almost poetic way.

Okay, I had to show up just to call attention to that title!
Although that one’s kind of amazing too, in an almost poetic way.

A Price For Freedom
Terrible Mother Aspiring Teen
Wow!Mom Going For A Twofer
Ruin Your Own Life Mother
Drugs Are Bad But I’d Rather Live
Where The hell Is Child Protective Services
Between Cock And A Hard Place
Hell In A Handbasket
In Times Like These Prison Doesn’t Sound So Bad
Let Freedom Cum
Gay Porn Is Better Than Death
Be A Better Parent Or How I Did Gay Porn To Escape
Ungrateful Bitch
I Suck At This
Cum Doesn’t Taste So Bad
No Cooch For Miles
Good Thing There’s Viagra Cause Y’all Are Ugly As Hell
Pussy Desert : Hell For A Straight Guy
Are You There God? Cause You Fucked Me Over
My Gayporn Escapades
Why Yes Son I Do Suck Dick Better And Here’s Why I Got Plenty Of Practice
Pearldiver At A Sausagefest
Nothing But Sausage As Far As The Eye Can See But All I Want Is Clam
Beggars Can’t Be Choosers
Die Bitch Die Or How I Found The Cheapest Granny Farm To Send You To
Escaping Perdition
Cock Was My Salvation
Perdition or Purgatory
No Officer She OD’ed So It Isn’t Murder
Gay Porn Or Crippling Debt
Its Okay To Let Druggies Drown In Their Self Imposed Misery
The Adventures Of A Self Made Orphan
Blood Is Thicker Than Water But Cum Is Thicker Than Blood
What Do You Mean That Bitch Fell Down The Stairs
Salvation by Vice
Viceful Virtue
The Stairway To Heaven Is Covered In Cum
Apologies to My Ass
Prostate Punching For Punitive Damages Incurred by Inheriting Debt
No Girlfriend For Me Just Ass As Far As I Can See
 

Chapter 14 (Straight to Hell) is posted after a very long hiatus.

Thank you @InBrightestDay
I’m really glad this chapter worked, and that Nina’s feelings about it all came across so well.
Yes, the potential for her getting pregnant is a worry, and both of them need to take that more seriously than they are right now.
As to the isolation, I suspect the must be some way for Nina to contact the outside world, just as I’m equally sure she’s keeping the knowledge of how to do so all to herself, for her own purposes (kind of like how she didn’t tell Ray her mobile/cellphone only worked at school).
I am glad you’re rooting for them. There is something quite deep going on here, even if neither of them realise it yet.
Thank you again!

I can live with any reading speed you prefer. It was just funny that I decided I had to much work time and should skip checking AFF for few days since it is long since I had a review and suddenly there are two full length reviews that I missed. Not answering reviews in a timely fashion feels so very rude...
You might be interested to know that there is one of later chapters that investigate Fang more in detail and gives more context to her fear.
I had lots of fun writing that reply...in truth it takes significant time to write good replies without spoiling too much of the future plot.
Very good analysis.
Good to know. Speaking of my other stories….I think you really want to stay clear of the ADM story and Carmen Elisa Need to Die that have characters that suffers a lot with very little hope afterwards...on the other hand With the Mirror Came.. might actually be a better fit for you than I thought earlier. It is the kind of story where the bad guy with high probability will win at the end, but on the other hand the bad guy is not after death and destruction. The lead character is over the story subjected to a lot of stuff...but she is also part of one of the best love couples I ever has written so there is clearly hope in the story. 

Actually I also have some new stuff in pipeline that I think you might find interesting. Just need to manage to finish the damn editing...not having a beta makes things take so horrible much time.
I understand the confusion. I spent like a ton of time to figure out the rules for the psionic system and how it interact with people in the setting but at the end trying to explain that to the reader would kind of ruin the flow of the story so most of it never made it into print. Some kind of explanation about maze trap sound merited...I add it to list of things to look at when I have time to give the story a makeover.