Joe Long
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Posts posted by Joe Long
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I know this goes back to the last saga but you remember when I quipped, "What's going to happen to all those poor, young prostitutes now that their pimp is in jail?" and Joe Long answered, "independent contractors." Exactly! I really hate to think about it, but maybe this is where Amanda is headed. Like the above article mentions, girls (and guys) don't need a pimp-- all they need is a computer.
But I think Amanda is craving a relationship, not just sex or money. As Jack said, she might fall for the first guy that appears to care. I see her with a sugar daddy, an older guy, possibly married, one who would shower her with affection and gifts (for the privilege of banging a high school girl.) Then's there's the competition from the wife (shades of Amy Fisher)
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As I wrote, this was not meant as a complaint. Quite the opposit! The mood of the chapter was much lighter, it was a quick read, leaving you wanting more! That's what every author should aim for.
Of course!
Then I was thinking that we're waiting to find out what's up Amanda's butt, then I thought "Phrasing!" but then I realized in six weeks time she will be 18, and even though only a rising junior in high school, she will be legal fair game for any adult man out there (except for teachers). Uh-oh.
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Chapter 53 was great, but WAAAY too short. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint, but rather a confession of being addicted to this story.
20k words, which is average for SITO.
You want some 50k monster?
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[spoilerS!!!]
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Fast paced and schizophrenic, a real roller coaster ride of emotion.
First Adam hates Megan, and then...
Things got all mushy with Nicole (making me teary-eyed in the scene at the church) and then she's tearing him a new one.
And then, maybe things were more normal with May until...
Maybe it was the end of Ch10 (or soon after) that things seem to wrap up, Adam in some way reconciled with all three girls. It might not have been an adequate end to the story, but it was a potential end. Well, things are gathering speed quickly, heading towards a train wreck.
Oh, and I loved Adam's verbal beat down of Jenna. Spot on.
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Chapter 53 is up
Hope everyone had a great Fourth of July and hope you all enjoy the chapter. See you guys soon!
I was so wrapped up in BMS I forgot to check here. More reading on tap...
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Good news everyone! I'm at the halfway point of Chapter 53
Update your story faster.
He is a machine.
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She's certainly an unpredictable character.
I've also got a story-based reason why Nicole warms up to him at all as opposed to her over friends with benefits, but I'd rather keep it to myself and have the reader make their own conclusions.
Of course, everything should be story-based and I hate spoilers (I don't even watch "previews of next week") unless you mean she has her own agenda, and it's not strictly a reaction to Adam. Nicole does prefer to be in control.
But don't tell us. We need more people in here so we can talk to each other.
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I thought chapter 14 was turning a corner in the Adam/Nicole relationship, but not that it was over yet.
Sex was all they had as Nicole would let herself admit to being involved emotionally. She didn't want to go there. Adam wanted more than just friendship (doubting that would last) and started to purse Nicole romantically and her wall started to show some cracks as she warmed to his advances.
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As Kayla has a car now, she could also try to follow Jack and Rhona, worried that something may happen between the two, not that anything would.
I think that Jack will not do anything wrong, but no one will believe him.
"Jack, why can't you admit it was a stupid decision to go out of town with Rhona?"
"But I didn't do anything wrong!"
"That's what you always say - grow up!"
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Noooooooooooo! Almost ANYTHING but that!
Any story arc like "Jack doesn't get sex from Kayla, Jack ist sexually frustrated, girls (like Rhona) pick up on that, girls go after Jack, Jack is tempted and (almost) gives in to the temptation" would turn Jack into a complete as$hole and would ruin the entire SITO epic. Kayla is supposed to be THE ONE and Jack is supposed to be the goodie two shoes white knight who always wants to do the right thing! An entire saga centered around girls trying to steal him away from Kayla and him (almost?) giving in to those pursuits would be UNBEARABLE!
The crumbs are there, the seeds have been sown.
Belle and the philosophy question has put doubts into Jack's mind, even if he resisted the notion that Kayla might not be 'The One.'
Kayla danced alone while Jack went to Rhona's apartment, one on one.
Rhona has said, "If I stripped down naked and offered myself, you know you'd want me."
Rhona hugged Jack to her chest, cuddles with him on the couch, and held hands with him.
Kayla flashed jealousy at Jack not only confiding in Rhona, but changing on her advice, when he didn't for Kayla.
Jack's parents questioned why he was with Rhona.
Jack will be taking an out of town, over night trip, alone with Rhona.
Even if Jack is a perfect gentleman and does nothing wrong, it's simply the appearance of impropriety, of being with the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, that will have everyone doubt him. People will lose trust in Jack, who's already demonstrated he can make stupid decisions and then not admit that he'd done anything wrong.
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This is half true. Either way, the rest of the civilised world is shaking their heads thinking "you morons" because of the inaction in the US.
I'm trying to figure out which half isn't true, but you can find me on Twitter if you wish to continue the discussion.
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OK here's a topical discussion point.
Would you rather be in Adams shoes or Jacks?
On one hand - the women in their lives.
Adam and Jack have both been cut off from sex. Jack has a loving boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to fall back on and wait it out. Adam who's two grades behind, and has yet to have an emotional attachment. He really does love Nicole, but she rejects any commitments. However, now that there is no sex, Adam has begun to try to build something romantic with Nicole and is making some progress.
Jack has it there. By the time Adam's a junior he might be to where Jack is.
On the other hand - the drama
Adam has dealt exclusively with typical teen drama, most dealing with relationships and sex. Nicole had her brother die, and Adam was a witness to the Phil/May rape accusation. Jack finally cracked under the strain of having so much adult stuff in his life - directly witnessing suicide, prostitution, cheating, etc.
For that, I'd rather be Adam.
While I'm at it - Rhona's only been with four guys. I had suspected she could get laid whenever she wanted to, and I think that's still true, but apparently she wants to get laid a lot less that Jack or I thought. Opposite of Nicole, I think Rhona wants the emotional connection but knows that she's a very difficult person to love. She hasn't let Jack inside her pants, but she's opened herself up to him likely more than any other guy.
Reminds me of something I was going to mention in reply to a PM that I need to get to (sorry). My son is close friends with a girl, but she still officially has a boyfriend. All of her Facebook photos are with my son, at the country club, furnishing his house, on their trip to New York together. Her parents love him. He says they've cuddled, but never had sex. And she still has another boyfriend. He wants to be with her, and I think this can be the real thing that he's never had yet, but he's waiting for her to be available. I see Rhona in that same situation, working her way into Jack's life while she waits. (Of course, Kayla might break her knee caps)
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Basically Rhona was all 'do you think I was some big boobed older girl that gave freshmen their sexual awakening' or something to that effect but it was basically saying 'Do you think I'm Nicole'
Yep, good line but the connection flew over my head.
Adam had a similar conversation about the meaning of life and sex, but as it was with one of his teachers there wasn't as much arguing and thus without the emotional breakdown that Jack had.
Even in the last couple paragraphs of the chapter, Jack is still overthinking how much he believes he's solved his problem. Dude, just turn off your brain.
If the big boobed girl stripped down in front of me and asked for sex? Fucking of course I'd want to, but my brain would be telling me it was inappropriate.
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Yeah, it has nothing to do with your stupid gun laws. Nothing at all....
Gun laws didn't stop Bali. It's the evil in people's hearts.
I noticed the little dig at Being More Social. It made me giggle a bit haha
I missed it - can you reference?
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I did! I'm just waiting to get to an opportune moment where I can dedicate my time to wholly responding to you. In advance I'll say thank you and you're awesome, but I'll leave the version without brevity to the email.
I'm flattered! Now I'll have to reread it to remember what I said.
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For the moment I'll just say, brilliant.
Really touches on a lot of topics of how people think. I'll get back to that later, and it will verge into politics (but isn't politics about how we think and how we want to help people?)
One thing I'll note, to complete what I posted earlier when I was still reading - the one time in this chapter where I got a reaction downstairs by what I was reading was when Jack and Rhona cuddled on the couch and she took his hand in hers. Nothing happened, but the emotional ground work has been laid for later on. They connected - and Kayla picked up on something. I get that reaction sometimes from my wife. "You listened to them but not to me?" It's not a jealousy fearing that the partner would run away, but a resentment that someone else had filled the role they they felt they should have.
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it did all come back and knock him flat on his ass. Wow. Jashley, I am sorry for ever doubting you, you very clearly know exactly what you're doing with this story. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go buy a candy bar and not eat it for one week as punishment for my lack of faith. Oh, the humanity.
Jashley is very good at picking out pieces of what we suggest and weaving them into the story. I've been around here since the beginning, have read every forum comment, and can recognize some things that work their way in.
TL;DR Maybe you didn't predict it, you may have suggested it.
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I'm up to the point where Jack got off the phone with Rhona, and I'm thinking, "Holy shit!" Jack just debated Belle whether Kayla is the One, on whether it's acceptable to walk away from one relationship if another one presents itself - and now while Kayla's at the prom, Jack is going to hang out in the apartment of a girl who has the hots for him.
Can the next chapter begin "The Temptation Saga" ?
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Did you see my email?
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And what's going to happen to all those poor, young prostitutes now that their pimp is in jail?
Independent contractors.
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BMS14 is out
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"Joanie Loves 'Dick'?" Yes, that was a memorable spin-off.
dick, peter, johnson, pecker...
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Or what if Joanie had ever wanted sex with him? Oh, hell-- let's not go there.
I work with a guy from Korea who told me that "Joanie Loves Chachi" was one of the favorite TV shows over there as 차지 'chaji' is Korean slang for 'dick'
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My so-called Life - trials and tribulations of a goody two-shoes too good to be true teenager
I think many teenagers have the same kind of heart as Jack (hating to see others hurting, wanting to do something to help) and many also fuck it up as well as he does too. It would unrealistic not that he wanted to, but if he always succeeded.
High School (and later on, College) Kind of Sucks: the Autobiography of Jack Harrison (Beta-ed by Kayla)
You know, it did. At the same time I had a lot of fun. I remember watching Happy days on TV and thinking that someday I could write about the things I did as a teenager.
Nearly 40 years later, here I am.
She is the One
in General
Posted
If there was no drama, there wouldn't be anything to write about. Every scene needs some type of conflict to develop the characters and move the plot.
Amanda's depressed. She notices Alan looking over every time he kisses Kelly, and she thinks it's to gloat and torment her. It's more likely he's guilty and looking to see if she's OK with it.