[She is the One]

Moving on to another age question - it seems like a couple of you are geezers like me - do kids start school later now than they used to? I was 2 months short of 18 when I graduated HS, and I was exactly in the middle of the age range. Only about 35% of the graduates were already 18. I wasn't old enough to drive until 3 weeks before my junior year started.

So high school was 15, 16 & 17, and college 18, 19, 20 & 21. (7th to 9th grade was Jr High)

[She is the One]

@jashley13

I went to the other site to see if you checked for my PM, after seeing me show up here.

I was an idiot and gave the wrong email address, it's jplong

and since finding this forum, I know a good place to find you!

[She is the One]

You're here because at least one of your parents had sex to conceive you, and obviously, they made the decision to keep you, showing a huge mark of maturity on their part.

I think it took both parents, and yes, my mother was a 19yo college student. They were married for 20 years before splitting up.

[She is the One]

As to the historical side of this. 18 is very recent. In the 1800s average age for a marriage was 14 or 15. Girls began worrying about being 'old maids' at 16. In the 1700s with the exception of some aristocrats the age was 13 or 14 and this seems to hold true back as far as you can go. The problem is record keeping at this time makes these ages very inaccurate. The records were not centrally kept so what I am giving here in the 1700s and further back is sketchy. Aristocrats traded their daughters like cattle and often held onto them till they were closer to modern ages for marriage.

Let me disagree. I have done a LOT of genealogy. Starting in 1850, the names and ages of every person is recorded in the US census. Ages aren't perfect, but are usually within a year or two, even when estimated.

Through the 1800's most women got married from 18-21, men 20-25. Pennsylvania didn't start marriage licenses until 1885, but well into the 1900's no one under 21 could get married without their parent's permission. However, for many it was easy to catch a train to Maryland, where the was no consent law, and return later in the day married and there wasn't a damn thing the parents could do.

As I said, few women were married before 18, but it was not unusual (10-20% ??) for them to have one child before that first marriage. It took two or more pre-marital children to be a slut. I had a great-great-grandfather in the 1870's who knocked two girls up at the same time, and one already had a kid, He married that one, and left the other girl (carrying my great-grandfather) behind. A couple years later she got married and left him with her parents. When he was 18 (1896) he knocked up an underage girl (14 or under?) as he was charged with statutory rape. He didn't meet his birth dad until he was 50, showing up at the house and knocking on the front door. The kid who answered told me the story at a reunion.

At least in Pa, it was from the 1920's to the 1950's when the most under 18 marriages occurred.

[She is the One]

As a libertarian leaning conservative, part of my core beliefs are that responsibility and consequences are powerful tools in developing a healthy society, with well adjusted individuals.

We don't want to see anything destroy our kids, but at times it's necessary to have them suffer through some things, as they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It's the healthy fear of consequences that makes most people consider their choices wisely. We cause problems when we attempt to shield our children, or people in general, from the results of their actions.

When my son was 15 he and some of his friends were arrested for joy riding. My father and I paid $5000 to get him a lawyer so that we could get the best out of the circumstance. On the first trip to the lawyer's office, I told him "I am doing this for you this once - next time you are on your own." He did his community service, got a job and paid his restitution and turned out pretty well.

In an example of government over protectiveness, a couple in Maryland had their 10 and 5 year old picked up by police blocks from their house, and instead of being taken home were turned over to Child Protective Services, and couldn't get the kids back until the parents signed that they would no longer endanger their children (despite there being no law against what they did.)

Today we have college students who want professors sanctioned for disagreeing with them, everything is so 'triggering.' Grow up, soon you'll be in the real world and won't have a clue how to survive.

[She is the One]

The "over 18" argument is actually a new one. Many years ago, girls as young as 10 were legally married to men much older than them, granted, many were arranged marriages, but, quite a few were mutual.

I always enjoyed this clipping, apparently no one was freaked out about it in 1924, that these two fine young people decided to marry, even without her parent's permission

COUNTY COUPLE IN ELOPEMENT

William S******* and Miss Mildred G***** Wed in Cumberland, Md.

Two young residents of U******** eloped on Tuesday, March 25th [1924], to Cumberland, Md. The bride was Miss Mildred Lucilla G*****, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. H. G*****. She just celebrated her 14th birthday of February 27th and was a pupil of the 8th grade school at U********. Lucilla was neither tardy of absent from school this term, until her wedding day. She is an attractive and estimable young woman.

The bridegroom is Mr. William Blair S******* a former sailor, having served in the U. S. Navy for four years. He is well and favorably known in the community.

No one suspected an elopement and it was a surprise to all her friends, even her parents not knowing of it until twelve hours later. She had asked permission to spend the night with a friend but went to Cumberland instead.

[She is the One]

I'd say part of what makes younger folks so sex-happy is the newness and 'mystery' of it. I hold that no beer or cigarette ever tastes better than when you're too young to have it. Now, of course, with experience comes appreciation so I think that the abundance of sex in younger generations is not a bad thing, but what I will certainly caution my children on is, well, excess. You dull yourself to sex too quickly, how's it gonna be when you meet The One?

As long as the story explains why the characters are doing what they're doing, rather than sex for the sake of sex, then I think it's perfectly fine. As long as the story acknowledges that stuff like that isn't necessarily right or even that common, then whatever happens happens and to deny that something like that has or could happen seems rather dishonest and needlessly restrictive.

The libertarian site Reason had an article up yesterday arguing that having a drinking age of 21 has encouraged binge drinking in college students aged 18 to 20, using the same logic.

I'm older, I don't remember there being THAT much sex when I was in high school, but then again, as told in my story, I was hanging with the nerds, on the outside looking in.

The thought of possibly spoiling yourself for "The One" leads into a discussion of serial partners or casual vs committed sex. I was discussing last week with Bashful if it's a good thing, long term, to separate the physical from the emotional? Nicole lectured Adam on how she's not a slut despite her sleeping around. I'm back to writing, and my next scene has Hannah going off on Joe with a very different take on the meaning of relationships. Should sex be something that's reserved for only those very few (and maybe even only one) that are truly special in your life?

Hannah will be 14 in six weeks. Her boyfriend has turned 20 and her brother is now 18. That's her social circle right now. How well can she handle being an 8th grader who goes to college beer parties? There have been strains and cracks in her relationship with Joe, but even though he's 20 it's the first time ever he's had one to survive even the first crack.

These are the stories we like to tell, and obviously some people like to read.

[She is the One]

A topic I'd like to discuss - just how old is old enough? In "She is the One" and also "Being More Social", most of the main characters are 9th or 10th graders having lots of sex (while trying to make claims that everyone is 16+)

I was reminded of it just now as I was Googling Kathryn Newton (very attractive blonde - maybe for Jessica?) and Google suggested Kaitlyn Dever, who now at 18 is also quite nice. I looked her up on IMDB and saw that in pics of her from late 2010 (age 13) she still looks like a little girl, but barely 7 or 8 months later (at 14 in early 2011) she was much more adult looking and quite stunning. Same thing with Bailee Madison - at her 13th birthday she's 4 ft something and a little kid, at her 14th she's 5-5 and looking rather adult.

Despite what one person I dislike on the blue site claimed, I have NO interest in little girls. The love interest in my story, very heavily based on a real life person, was nearly 14 and in 8th grade. She could pass for 16. I like attractive women. Some are 14, some are 60. I can drool over Chloe Bennett and Ming-Na Wen in the same episode.

I think we'd all be in general agreement on that. How does that translate into stories, and the various age limits that different sites put on characters? I was driven off the blue site and ended up at SOL. I could have come here, but reckoned that the 16 limit was likely too strict for my story to pass muster.

[She is the One]

Hi guys, here are some of my ideas for characters

Kayla: Nina Doberev

Mr. Hannigan: (you probably won't like this but) Dwayne Johnson/ Mark Wahlberg

Alan: Alexander Ludwig(Cato from hunger games)

I drool over Nina Dobrev, so I would gladly second that choice for Kayla, and I had already suggested either Wahlberg for Mr. Harrison. A good looking, 40's, strong but still kind of average American looking guy, while I went with someone like Gerard Butler (who can kick your ass) for Kayla's dad. I know some of the members of the family of a guy Butler portrayed in a movie a couple years back.

I am familiar with Ludwig from "Vikings" but he's huge, well over 6 ft. He'd beat Jack to a pulp. Thinking about it some more, how's about Ludwig to play Brad, the big bruiser who it took several guys to take down?

[She is the One]

I tried to explain with statistics. So, thank you for the hard evidence that chance is the better explanation for the majority of birth defects in closely related relationships.

My problem is with a lot people reacting like it's a sure thing that children will be deformed. It wasn't necessarily a criticism of you, as I read many posts over the past couple days and I honestly can't recall who said what without going back.

There very well may be an increased chance, but I believe it's still low enough to not be noticeable by the layman. I've given an example of an entire community, upwards of ten thousand people still living in close proximity, who are very inbred (repeated 2nd & 3rd cousin marriages) and no one notices.

[She is the One]

Also, I've noticed just how much of a community this forum is.

I've been reading the story since day 1 of Chapter 1, and came over here to read the stories and the reviews, but only yesterday discovered the forums. I've read every message since.

[She is the One]

Despite all the issues with the old site, by the time SITO started to get taken down the series had totaled approx 1.5 million views

[She is the One]

Jocks are the worst relationships for a rebound. They think it is their right to sleep with as many girls as possible at the same time for the most part.

I love that Joe wrote a baseball player into the story, remembering that they don't always get all the girls they want.

[She is the One]

Considering that Christmas in this story was published right around Christmas in real life, and Valentines Day as well, I'd say this is written in pretty much real time. So, around 2014-2015.

It was mentioned that New Years was IIRC on a Wednesday, which would be 1 Jan 2013

[She is the One]

Two friends of mine (brothers) are suffering from a svere form of SMA (a form of muscular atrophy caused by degenerating motor neurons). As it turned out, their parents are related. the maternal grandmothers of both parents were cousins. This quite distant biological relation was enough to cause the desease that had been dormant (a recessive gene defect) in the family for generations.

How are you sure it was the relationship that caused the condition? They are only third cousins. If if it did, how often does it occur in people who are related to the same degree (or closer)?

I ask because I do my family tree and even though I'm not from West Va there are tons of related folks. I know a woman who's husband's parents were 2nd cousins, for three generations. Taking a wife who had the same maiden name as the mother, for three consecutive generations? In a nearby township that's been dominated by a religious sect for the past 200 years, virtually everyone of them who were married in the 1900's is a 2nd or 3rd cousin who are related 50, 60, 70 different lines, and I don't believe they are any less healthy than the rest of us.

[She is the One]

Hey everyone!

Mr. Harrison- Christopher Meloni

Mr. Hannigan- Michael Chiklis

For Mr. Harrison, I was thinking of one of the Wahlbergs, probably the one on "Blue Bloods". Meloni's a little older now, but he's a tough guy.

For Mr. Hannigan, I was thinking Gerard Butler.

[She is the One]

I think I've found a way to work on the story at work. I'll probably just have to exclude sex scenes when I'm writing, just in case someone peaks over my shoulder and wonders what the hell I'm doing.

So that's why there have been fewer sex scenes!