Joe Long
-
Posts
720 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
6
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Events
Posts posted by Joe Long
-
-
if only some of the nice guys grew a pair every once in a while, no douchebag will ever screw over a nice girl and the good guy will always get the girl.
I would say, "The story of my life", but you already know that
-
The brilliance of it is that both Phil and May stand accused of things they've each been guilty of in the past, making it a 'He Said, She Said'. The other characters as well as the readers are free to make whatever conclusions they wish. It seems like a big cluster fuck, where everyone will be pissed at everyone else.
PHIL Nicole, why are you with him? you trying to steal my girlfriend, twerp?NICOLE Phil, no one owns me. If I was trying to hurt you, I would have fucked Adam in your bed, not your parents!PHIL You what? This ninth grader?ADAM what do you care? you were too busy attacking May!NICOLE why are you defending that ho?PHIL huh? You know the bitch lied about you!NICOLE That's right, she did!MAY I'm not fucking lying - I said no!PHIL what are you going to do May, drag a mattress around school?NICOLE Phil, I don't care what really happened, you're still a douche. Whoever named this family 'Love' was pulling a sick joke -
Tara, my God, oh sweet Tara, she's naive to say the least. She needs a nice guy who treats her nice, like Jack does Kayla, but she always gets attracted to the douchebags i.e Carson. The reason? Well, douchebags possess a certain level of confidence the nice guys don't, look at the first chapter, Jack is hesitant to introduce himself to Kayla the first time he sees her but Craig wastes no time to swoop in. Now on to Carson, why was Tara attracted to Carson? Because he possessed somewhat the same degree of confidence Craig possessed, so why was no one else other than Tara attracted to him? well, because the other girls were already in committed relationships with the nice guys, and how'd they get there? by having their hearts broken by douchebags before, after which the nice guy comes and picks up the pieces and the girl realizes there are some genuinely nice dudes alive as well, and more than often they are stuck inside "The Friendzone".
Don't give up! I think you've nailed something here that I didn't see before.
Why does Tara (and other girls) go for the kind of guys they don't actually want or need? Because those guys are confident. The girls put out, and instead of being satisfied, then end up being fucked by some conceited douche, all the while us shy guys standing quietly in the background, waiting, who would treat her like the princess she is, are left to go home and beat our meat in frustration.
-
yeah I agree with you. all three girls of Adam are kind of lunatic in their own way. lol
I think that was bashful's point in writing the story, to compare & contrast different types of lunatic girls (present company excepted, of course)
-
Adam got a bj, why is he at fault, it was consensual...
because the next day, when May was sober, she said Adam forced her (also forced her to accept cunnilingus)
-
May wants attention she will blame who ever to get it even hurting her friends that's my opinion but he was zipping uP his pants in front of them so it's hard to see who is at fault here
It's not a question of them doing something, it's whether May said 'Yes'. She's had a history of changing the story, while Phil's had a history of not taking 'No' for an answer.
-
I think Kayla is coming home to a broken home. Her parents' fued just left too many questions unanswered.
I still think Chester was caught wanking to Tara's Facebook photos, after Mom was spending too many late night business dinners in DC
-
So far in her young life Tara has confused love and sex. She isn't the first teen girl to do that. She wanted sex from Jack to know what it's like to be with someone who treats her right.
Tara, here's the memo: Forget about the sex. Keep looking until you find a guy who's sweet and treats you right. Then you can think of rewarding him with some honey. Don't get the cart before the horse.
Once she realizes that truth, she can settle down and have a satisfying relationship. And Jack can feel jealous.
-
The trip to the cabin is over. Jack, Kayla and Tara look forward to returning home and getting on with 'normal' life, with the threesome behind them. New adventures will arise once they start interacting with all their friends and work mates.
But it's still under the surface, a thorn in the flesh, and as soon as some shit goes sideways Kayla is going to be in full PMS mode. Seriously, I think it will take her awhile to be comfortable being intimate with Jack. It will be a problem.
Tara, like she did in the roller rink, may be susceptible to meltdowns, where the anger just lets loose. She still hasn't figured out what she really wants in life, the quest that led her to the threesome.
-
-
NO_One, I think you nailed it.
Alto, we have to give the author some degree of trust;. After 34 chapters and 700,000 or so words, we the audience do know the characters very, very wll - but only Joe knows what coming in the next chapter or two. Somebody may do something that's not like them, but it could be setting up something in the next chapter. Acting uncharacteristically can also come back to bite them in the ass. In most cases, we might have to give a chapter or two grace period before we can raise legit questions of a character's actions.
-
Jack should be able to handle it. That's what I think at least.
Jack's a human. He's a male. He's 16. Joe hasn't released the next chapter yet (there may be consequences for dickish behavior)
Sometimes the mouth runs faster than the brain, even for those of us past 50. And many times I let my wife know I'm annoyed at something even though I allow it to happen. I have a little routine. She tells me something that will likely cost me time, money or both. I know it's for a good cause, or there's no way I can get out. So I'll say something like "oooh kaaay, grumble, grumble". Sometimes I have to remind her that I said yes, I'm just whining.
-
My second gripe was Jack's annoyance with Kayla not wanting to have sex. That, in my opinion, was very "not Jack." In general, he's a good guy, and he works with and understands Kayla. But at that point, he went "full douche", like I don't remember him doing before. Sure, he's a horny teenage guy who's not some perfect idealist, but he's usually better than that. In lieu of the whole situation, he should have been more rational about the fact that, "hey, I just had sex with my cousin and now my girlfriend's uncomfortable about having se near her and its only been a couple of days since the incident." Instead he's like "fuck her, what a bitch for not helping me get off." (That's how if came off to me, obviously not how Jack thought it)
Well, Jack is still 16 (for a few more days). He may outwardly accept that Kayla doesn't want to have sex, but that doesn't mean that he has to be all sunshine and roses on the inside with it. As he is the narrator, we see his thoughts where we can't know the thoughts of others unless they show them to others, especially Jack.
-
Just remembered, had wanted to say that Ranch goes great on steak. One of my favorite wraps is to take a large tortilla, lay a couple slices of roast beef on it and a slice or two of provolone. Heat in microwave for 3o seconds. Top with a handful of salad mix and some ranch dressing. Wrap tight and enjoy.
-
Haven't killed them yet...I like just wounding them and chopping off body parts
"Be careful, you could lose an eye!"
-
Love Battlestar Galactica Stabbing people in the eye reminded me of Kara and Leoben, even though she only got him in the neck (more than once, IIRC).
The poor guy really had thing for her, only to get treated like that.
Here's a nice fan video which gets the point across (at 1:15)
-
yeah may be..
Oh, c'mon now...let me cheer you up! (she reaches for a fork)
-
I haven't started on your story yet, Joe, so I'll wait for the re-write since you feel it will be better.
Just this morning had a beta reader give a thumbs up to chapter 1, so now it's mostly down to editing. Soon.
-
we all know that when a person is drunk he or she opens up and become too honest for their own good. so I don't think she can scheme a plan in that state. and I must say generally a woman doesn't think like that . So I don't agree with you. no offense.
No offense!
May did run off saying, "I'll make you jealous!" but last with Adam had to sober up to start regretting what she had done.
Maybe the outcome will be that no one's sure of what happened and everyone will be pissed at everyone else. Bad feelings all around.
-
I meant more along the lines of "May says Phil did it. Phil said he didn't. Who's lying?"
That's the problem - Phil has done it in the past, May has lied in the past.
As I detailed above, I'll go with the drunk May lying again.
She saw how Adam came to her rescue in the school, and she said she wanted to make him jealous. She's looking for attention from Adam.
-
by "the cliffhanger it caused" I have to assume you mean Phil & May?
If so, then I'm not sure because we don't have details yet. We know what Phil has done to Nicole in the past, but she sitll chooses to be around him (not like with Jeff). On the other hand, a drunk May had wrongly accused Adam several months before.
Atter Adam's talk with Phil, I can see Adam losing his temper without wanting a full knowledge of the facts and attacking Phil, which could leave Nicole to wonder why. A hatred of Phil? A love of May? But what if May was blowing things out of proportion again, and Phil was like what Adam was before?
As far as conflict and drama, I'd say Adam attacks Phil without thinking it out, but then later finds out May twisted the truth just like she did before and Phil really wasn't guilty. Adam's pissed at May, Phil's pissed at Adam, and Nicole doesn't know what the fuck to think of any of them.
-
jeez, stab someone in the eye and everyone gets all judgemental
well, you had me rolling on the floor all morning
gotta clean this blood up...
-
I can say that pretty much everything I do in the story has done kind of purpose behind it, and that reaction wasn't an exception. When the story is done completely, I'll leave it up to you all, the readers, once the full scale of everything has been revealed, to determine whether it was a bad move on my part or not.
I could see how you were developing the plot, so I was trusting you to handle it.
It's not my fault magus is so violent.
I'd also encourage you to give us new material faster, but I've been writing the same chapter for 6 months.
-
just a little stab? maybe...huh...huh?
just enough to draw some blood, get a shriek out of her...then he can lick the blood off of her body
Magusfang's Corner
in General
Posted
and they never killed kids until "The Thing"