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Joe Long

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Everything posted by Joe Long

  1. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I think it's much more likely that Chester was introduced to that fine young woman Tara by his daughter, and he immediately went to the internet where he found a trove of Facebook photos. I know, I've been there!
  2. Joe Long

    She is the One

    Clinton didn't start those kinds of things - well, maybe in the Oval Office. Look up a book "Silent Coup". I read it in the early 80's, maybe 10 years after Watergate. It alleges that John Dean, who got immunity for testifying before Congress about everyone else in the White House, was actually deeply involved in the planning, and it had more to do with prostitution. Both sides looked for dirty tricks to be pulled on the opposition, especially in the run-up to a presidential election. Nixon's people had word that a secretary in the DNC headquarters in the Watergate office complex was in charge of booking 'escorts' for out of town politicians and donors who came to DC for visits. That's because the madam's roommate was Dean's girlfriend, and later wife, Maureen. The popular story was that the bugs planted in the DNC offices were to gather political intelligence, with Liddy and the others caught when trying to remove them. The book alleges that the bug was on the phone of the secretary arranging the escorts, so that Nixon's men would know which Democrat had been with which hooker, to be used later as blackmail. Once a guy associated with the madam was busted for transporting a girl across state lines, they closed up shop to avoid being implicated in the police investigation of the prostitutes. So, to tie two story lines together, Mr. Hanigan found out his wife was arranging escorts, acting as the liasion between her 'clients' and the madam. Although I still like the idea than Chester was caught fapping to Tara's Facebook page (the problems between Kayla's parents was first noticed when Tara's family was moving in). Why not both? Make them both guilty!
  3. Joe Long

    She is the One

    It was triggering! In two stories, the young lady was in serious peril, and of course I was rooting for her to escape and/or exact revenge for her deprivations. Then the violence went up a notch, and I got queezy reading about what seemed a permanent and/or disabling injury. And then they died. I wasn't interested in trying the genre again. However, death of a prominent character can be done well. Ron Moore killed dozens of people off of Battlestar Galactica, and it provided good drama. He told a story on his podcast of the actress who played the Viper pilot "Kat." She was traveling and received an email of the next script. Her friend was reading through it, and excitedly told her, "You're going to be the star of this episode!" "What's it about?" "You escort the ships through a dangerous nebula - oh, and then you die" "Shit." Moore forget to tell her ahead of time that they were terminating her character (and thus her employment) - but Moore thought it would make a great story.
  4. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I've read a few fan fics on this site, two which involved young attractive TV characters being held against their will and then raped. The sense of danger to characters we know, and even of degradation and injury, can be entertaining, but I'm rooting for my people to respond, to get the upper hand and live to tell the story. Then they die - what a bummer!
  5. Joe Long

    She is the One

    Craig has the means, and has a history of douchery. The ring leader could approach Craig to ask for material assistance, but he's the richest of the gang and as far as I know suburban girls turned prostitutes are more likely to be looking for a way to make more money. Those others are all still in school, much younger. If it's Rhona, she doesn't have to be the ring leader, but got caught up in something when trying to find some extra bucks to get her own place. Once in, she could be pressured to supply names of some friends who might also be interested in 'making a little extra cash.' Maybe she is successful with one of the girls, and if Jack's the one who introduced Rhona to the gang, he might caught some of the shit being blown back.
  6. Joe Long

    She is the One

    But characters can also be a combination of multiple real people. Rhona exudes sexiness, needs money for her own place, and was immediately drawn to the 'gorgeous' Kayla. Maybe Rhona gets it started and tries to pull some of the girls in to her organization. PS I will get back to you, lot of things going on!
  7. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I'm working my way thru it now ...she pulled out a sandwich she’d gotten from some sandwich place I hadn’t been to yet (sorry, don’t remember the name) Oh Joe, you're trolling me so bad, you F'er...it's Sheetz! Sheetz! (in case you didn't hear me the first time)
  8. Joe Long

    She is the One

    is 37 the end of Summer, and then 38 will begin The Fracture?
  9. Looking forward to it, and getting a look at the new series! I bow down to both of you, you've some amazing writing as well, jashley
  10. Joe Long

    She is the One

    looks like it, and it went to almost 250k words...and IIRC only two sex scenes - the infamous threesome, and the makeup sex a couple weeks later
  11. Joe Long

    She is the One

    well, I think all the parents know, but... ...as I yelled in orgasmic joy...I dimly registered that she was screaming again, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped, hands clinging to me as she shook with her own orgasm. that would have been a great time to hear the front door close, with Mr. and Mrs. Hanigan hearing Jack yelling (somehow that gave me a mental image of Gary Busey - "Yeaaaah!!!")
  12. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I loved how Joe worked "Kayla waiting for Jack to come out of his coma" into the story. Joe - one question on Kayla's parent's problems. When you first wrote that they were occurring, did you already know what the problem is, or is that something that you waited until later (or are still waiting) to decide?
  13. Joe Long

    She is the One

    and you know I cannot let Jack's slap at baseball go unanswered! In chapter 3 Joe & Hannah will be attending one of the biggest Pittsburgh Pirates games in history, and yes, it comes with tons of anticipation! I loved baseball growing up and was frustrated that I didn't get as many chances to play as I would have liked. Sort of like Joe in SITO-36, it's harder to break in when you wait until 14 and most everyone else already has established themselves. jashley, did you ever play any school or summer sports, or were you just a drama nerd?
  14. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I've watched a fair amount of Australian TV on Hulu, so I'm aware that it's much closer to British than Standard American English. I grew up learning Pittsburghese, so that's what many of the characters in my story speak. "There's some bee-ah in the boot" "You two been rutting (rooting)?"
  15. Joe Long

    She is the One

    A very enjoyable read. I'll digest it for a day or two before I make any specific comments, except - damn, I wish I could right this well. Joe, if you don't get work in front of the camera I'm sure you could do very well writing, either for film or books.
  16. Joe Long

    She is the One

    Thanks Joe, belated Happy Birthday and I pray you receive the strength to get you through anything that comes your way. I will of course get to reading ASAP. Also, now that SITO is out, I can target my next chapter for next week, as I certainly don't want to try to compete head to head with SITO.
  17. Joe Long

    She is the One

    but Kayla doesn't know that
  18. She's just a huge distraction. How can anyone, male or female, concentrate when DirtyAngel is in the room?
  19. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I outlined the major points in the story, so I had the beginning, middle and end. As I write the first drafts I filled in more scenes, detail, dialogue, etc to push the story along the outline. Now that I went back to the beginning to re-write, I have a couple folks helping me with comments and suggestions. I'm getting more detail about emotions (which jashley does SO well) and adding in more subplots. The first time thru I think I did a good job of leaving clues and foreshadowing what was to come, but almost all of the story was the main plot. Now with some subplots (not just backstory, either hinted at or explicit) I'm leaving crumbs for parallel story lines which may or may not come to anything - I'll decide later.
  20. I don't watch a lot of shows, tending towards cops and space (loved the new Battlestar Galactica) Elementary, the modern take of Sherlock Holmes in New York is one of my favorites. Te last couple years I've gotten into both the Marvel and DC TV shows - Agents of SHIELD, Agent Carter, Gotham, Arrow and Flash It runs dry in the summer, so then I dig thru Hulu to find the foreign English shows. New Tricks from the BBC is a hilarious cop show, and they also have MI-5 aka Spooks over there
  21. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I think Tara's boyfriend will come about once school starts. She just move din from out of state into some suburban sub-division. I know I didn't know many of my neighbors who lived more than a literal stone's throw away. Many some pimply faced boys have seen her running around the block and then went inside to wank. Once school starts, it'll be just like Kayla the year before, the new girl in class. There will be older boys lining up. Evan is a senior, but I don't think it's at the same school, as Tara lives 30 minutes away.
  22. This site is a privately owned business, and they can set any rules they want. Freedom of Speech ("Congress shall pass no law...") is not in effect here. If you don't like it here, go somewhere else (that's how I came here). If you can't find somewhere else, start your own website.
  23. Joe Long

    She is the One

    I could have lots to say but I don't think this is the place to get into it. As a libertarian leaning conservative, I'm willing to tolerate other people doing their own thing. Live and let live. Government should treat everyone the same, but at the same time people have the right to freely associate. The government should not force people apart, nor force them together. For more on the subject, I'd recommend Reason.com
  24. I've been using Hulu to watch TV shows from a variety of English peaking countries, such as England, Canada and Australia. I notice that all of them are not fully committed to metric. We were watching New Tricks from the BBC in England last night when the detective had to data into a computer. "Enter victim's weight in kilograms - I don't know, she was about 9 stone!" For Canada, I've mostly been watching Cold Squad off and on (up to season 4), which is set in Vancouver.
  25. huh, I had pictured Joe around 6-1 (I don't know what that is in Canadian!). Should I set my sights lower?
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