Joe Long

Yesterday I was sick and off work, and spent my time reading the new chapter. As my wife and daughter had to be away for the afternoon, it fell to me to take the girls to cheerleading practice at the middle school. That little trip enhanced the reading of Jack's first day of his junior year and helped bring back a lot of memories. The high school football team was out on the field practicing and the middle school girls were practicing basketball in the gym. As I was dropping our girls off, some post-pubescent cheerleaders walked by, with some legs that definitely needed checking out in another five years. Not feeling well, I didn't take well to the heat of the sun as I had to wait a few minutes before returning home, and soon I had to search out the little boy's room. The gym had been added since I went to school there, but once I was in the main building many things were familiar but others had changed in the 40 years since I had attended. The industrial arts room was still in the basement level, but had moved into the gym wing. The hallway outside was still filled with the smell of charred wood. I passed the auditorium, which in my day had been located under the original gym, but found the cafeteria had been converted into a store room. The rest room, however, didn't look like it had changed one bit since I had last used it. In my day we didn't have A/B days in the numbered grades. I was introduced to them in college, but my kids had them from their first year of multiple teachers when they went to school in northern Virginia. I also never used a backpack, I and everyone else carried our needed books on our arms. This generation is such a bunch of namby-pambies, get the F off my lawn!! And gourmet cooking - back in my day we had Home Economics ("Home-Ec"), which was an elective predominately chosen by girls preparing to be housewives. I know, so sexist. Oh - and why is Shannon "so short" when her eyes are level with Jack's nose? I'm only 5-9, but the top of the head of average girl comes to my mouth. If her head fits under my chin she's short; under my shoulder, damn short. I confirmed this again picking the boy up later in the evening from his 4th grade football practice, as I walked through the crowd of moms and grandmoms. right, once Rhona joined the group she rose to middle management, where she may spend less time on her back and more time recruiting other girls to do the grunt work.

I still don't see Rhona running the ring, but I totally see her desperate for money show she can live on her own causing her, as a college girl, to get recruited into it, and now being turned to work as a recruiter. She's got the type of dominant personality to rise in the ranks.

I was correct pn the brother, but not on the couch. She apparently rates a bedroom of her own. In 37 Rhona mentions her parent's place, but may have only been as a possible option of where to live, but 15 minutes is too far for her tastes. In 35 she does say she's staying with one of her other brothers, but in 37, as I've mentioned, she does sound desperate for extra money 35 I frowned. “Then who are you living with right now?” “One of my brothers. He’s letting me stay for free.” “His suggestion or yours?” I asked, stepping out of reach of her arm. “His,” she responded with a straight face, “I’m serious.” “All right. Good on him.” “Yeah, he’s the good one.” 37 I smirked. “Something wrong with your money?” “Yeah,” she snarked back, “It’s going into the Buy-Me-A-Fucking-Apartment Fund. I can make a generous donation in your name if you wanna hand me a blank check.” I laughed and shook my head. “Where are you—” Another customer came up and I spent a minute or two ringing them up before turning to her again, “—thinking of looking?” “Nice,” she commented. “Thanks.” “Around here. My parents’ place is like fifteen minutes away and I wanna cut that in half. Too bad there aren’t any apartments right here.” She looked wistfully out through the window at the surrounding area, packed with stores and gas stations. Not a single apartment building in sight. “Can you afford to live on your own? With what you’re making?” “Hang on,” she said, walking towards the back room, “I want you to ask me that again with Frank around.” “I heard!” Frank called from the back, “And if you’re not happy with your pay, I can find someone who is!”

I'll have to look for it, I thought she said she was sleeping on one of her older brother's couches

I like the premise of the new story and have overall enjoyed the read so far. This isn't a sex story, it's a story that includes sex that will examine attitude and behaviors. Criticisms: As mentioned, the writing doesn't seem as tight as BMS. I have a thing for repeating words. I wouldn't have minded 'hour glass' figure applied to Chris if that was the third time in short order the phrase had been used. And maybe Bashful should just go ahead and set the story in Canada (no big deal) so that he wouldn't have to weed out the Canadian slang terms. Go for it, and show us how a Canuck really talks. We saw more of Daisy than Molly in the first chapter, but that's reversed in chapter two, giving us a first in-depth look at the object of Aaron's attention. I'll disagree with the previous comments about the lunch room scene. What I saw was Molly become very anxious when strange people sat close to her (within touching range) and she seemed to be fighting back a panic attack when Aaron intervened in her behalf - but because the other students didn't know her, they misread Aaron's actions. What hasn't been shown yet is if Molly's condition is something she was born with, or is a result of trauma. Either way, it leaves her socially handicapped, complicating how Aaron relates to her. Is her vulnerability, and his desire to protect her, why he has resisted looking at her sexually until now? In that lunch room scene (which I easily pictured in my college's student union) I wasn't sure of what was meant by 'prep', used to describe the group of visiting guys. 'Preppy' as in describing their attitudes and dress? Freshman, as in straight of of prep (high) school? To me, their actions sounded more typical of jocks, guys who were on the same sports team (wrestling, football, etc) or maybe the same fraternity, who traveled as a pack and had a leader. Aaron's difficulty in leading a double life is to avoid running into his past conquests on campus. He may be picking them up at Friday night parties, but eventually he'll be with Molly and a girl will say something to him - especially now with Holly, who may think there is more than a one night stand available.

I don't think any of the 'kids' would be running it, but someone they know might get recruited in, then try to get others to join - which could lead to a fracture.

The path I've been favoring is "make money quick". As I've mentioned, Rhona said about wanting more money for her own apartment. Then arises an opportunity to gross $200 for laying on her back for 10 minutes. Someone like Rhona who's out of school in a place like Game Stop, I'll guess $12/hr for 30hrs/week, gross $600/week, take home $450/week, $1800/month, which isn't bad - unless you want a car and an apartment and food and utilities, because those apartments close to her work are going to start around $1200/month.

In the state where I believe Brow Ridge is located, he'd be sent to the alternative school for juvenile delinquents. There's also an alternative school for social outcasts (can't play well with others) that my daughter attended.

Never thought of that, but it's an excellent theory! Jack and the gang might not be directly involved with the ring, but could be witnesses to and indirectly involved in Ms. Cartwright taking it down.

I've been wondering what Ms. Cartwright would be like in the sack, and then you have to go do that!

I have to admit I skipped over your disclaimer. IOW, I didn't read it! Mine goes "Although inspired in part by actual events, this is a work of fiction. Names have been changed to protect the guilty..." I've gotten to know CL in the Shout Box. She's a nice lady who writes a lot of MM and had already told me she just doesn't get into the teen romances.

I know thismy always writes things up well, but we know that Jessica's the person most likely, and shouldn't the author throw us a twist? Is it as satisfying if it always comes from where we expect it? I will accept wherever it comes from, as long as it's logically consistent with whatever character is involved. Or, it could be one of those new students from the neighborhood that just got attached to Brow Ridge this year. Like Alien Nation a whole group that arrives together

The author Joe had already suggested Watson for Kayla and Moretz for Amanda. Although, as much as I like to look at Emma Watson over the last, 7 or 8 years(?), she just doesn't seem to look like the written description of Kayla.

Also, a question for Joe the character Jack took some swipes at baseball and interest in sports in general, although you also wrote Sam having a very good defense of baseball (the anticipation), one I've often given myself. We assume that Jack = Joe the Author, but where do you really stand in real life? Sports fan or don't care a bit? Did you ever play high school or summer sports, or were you simply a drama nerd? Full disclaimer: much like my eponymous character, I loved playing baseball, but never got the playing time I wanted. So I ended up being a stats nerd.

We've got our cast of regulars who no longer need to be introduced, but there will be freshman (although younger than everyone so may not be in anyone's circle) and transfers (like Kayla the year before.) Also...the county can redraw the boundaries between high schools, so that kids who went to one school last year are now going to another. Up to 30% of the student body being dropped in from another school.

I didn't see her as the madam, but the liasion within her organization. "Oh Mary, Joe here is visiting from Delaware for a few days, and was thinking he might like some company for dinner and The Kennedy Center tonight - can you help him out?" "Joe, why don't you look through this book and tell me which three you like the best - and I'll put in the call." later on... "Hello, Capitol Escorts? This is Mary over at the DNC. Is Misty Dawn available tonight?" Of course, in the internet age, she'd be a smart phone app to place the take-out order.

But yeah, as you've written it, Daisy is simply a 12 year old who says to a guy over 18 "I know you have meaningless sex with a lot of girls and I think it's a bad idea." Some people (and some laws) have a very expanded definition of porn, and thus fear of lawsuits and such.

AS best I remember what was depicted in "Silent Coup", the secretary at the DNC headquarters at the Watergate had a binders full of women in her desk drawer. When some donor or politician came to visit DC and desired company for the evening, they could come down to HQ and flip through the pictures in the binder. After they picked out their favorites, the secretary would call up the madam and schedule a date for the VIP.

Not claiming you would. I made a point to say "physically mature" which obviously Daisy is not, and suggested maybe the future was 6 years foreward. It's easy to know when a person has physically matured, and each person is somewhat different. We fall along a distribution curve. You have to get to know a person to know if and when they are emotionally mature and capable of making informed, adult decisions. I would assume it follows the same normal curve distribution, with some like Daisy able to think like an adult at 12, while many may be in their 20's and still be incapable - but in that case, in the US, a bright line is drawn at the 18th birthday. If a 21 year guy had sex with a female who's 17.364, he committed a felony, but the next day she's his girlfriend. It is easier to draw a line down around 12-14, at about the same place as physical maturity, because there would be very few false negatives. I think trying to draw that bright of a line right through the middle, where there's little difference on either side, is bad policy and can create unjust prosecutions.

summarizing my previously posted prostitution theories: 1. Rhona is desperate for money for her own apartment and gets hired by an outfit, who then pressure her to recruit more girls, leading to her to contact some of Jack's group of friends. 2. Kayla's mom, working at party headquarters, is the person in touch with the ring to provide escorts for visiting VIPs

Now I know where not to send mine. (Well, your's is only on chapter one, we don't know that nothing WILL happen between them. Maybe in 6 years!) There was a discussion at Reason.com of Jared Fogle's conviction for porn and sex with minors. I am certainly not advocating anyone be forced into having sex for the camera or for prostitution - but physically mature teenagers do have consensual sex, all the time, and why should writing fictional stories about how they may or may not be emotionally mature automatically become porn? Back to Fogle - he was convicted as sex with a 17 year old minor, even though, for example, I was 2 months past my high school graduation before I turned 18. 2/3 of my class were graduates and still 17. Also, from how the article was worded, the secret cameras (which should be illegal, as there's no consent) recorded people under 18 being undressed. So apparently naked but non-sexual photos of someone under 18 are also legally porn. I'm making a general comment here, not in relation to Fogle - but I wonder why some of this is classified as porn. Does someone magically become mature once they hit the day of their 18th birthday? Many are already, some will still take many more years.

Well, I'm 4 paragraphs in and you really must look up "thrust" in the thesaurus!

I think Craig was thinking of running for Student Council president, not Class President (I could be wrong) It's Brow Ridge, and it has about 1600 student in 4 grades (according to Wikipedia)

Oh yeah - it's (past) the 20th! I will go find the new series (since you didn't give a link)

It's Tara's mom and Jack's mom who are sisters, so the fathers are irrelevant to them being cousins