Desiderius Price

Oh, that doesn’t seem as bad as I had imagined. Pretty much envisioning what you had before, and writing it in full. (fyi, my *first* potter fanfic reads much closer to that first example, which is why it’s in need of revision, but I’m limiting my active projects.)

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On my potter fanfic, I went to reread that first chapter, and now I’m rewriting the whole bloody story. So, it’s definitely a pandora’s box to revisit! However, it’s a much better story now too, so there’s that. In your case, it’s definitely a challenge. Mesh it with chapter two as possible, don’t be afraid to move things around into other chapters as warranted.

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Even the “Neverending Story” had an ending… Me? I usually have a goal already in mind, an ending, so once I reach it, I reach it. Sometimes I mull over the exact cut-point… like that Halloween story, do I show Lana’s next action as a teaser, or do I save it as an epigraph to Toby’s story?

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I know… call it “Fifty Shades of Earl Gray!” A complete treatise on brewing tea.

Hmmm…. could be a half chapter on the brewing process twice a chapter….Or “they fixed themselves another cup of tea”… down to “she sipped her tea” and presume the MC simply had an auto-refilling cup. Gets me thinking, that with some lithium batteries. As tea leaves can be used more or less indefinitely, need a vape pen like device, with condensation coils to convert the humidity into water, boils that water, seeping it through those tea leaves, and make it ready for sipping. Then your MC never has to brew another cup, simply replace those leaves and batteries every so often!

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Never quite got the knack for tea taste… In a pinch, Earl Gray, black & hot, however, there’s something to be said about Raspberry tea.

Fade-to-black is typically how I do it in my CLEANER version of my potter fanfic. Meant there was one scene where Hermione (&Ron) woke up on the kitchen floor the morning after to her Mother hovering over them skipping all the selacious details. Whereas the explicit version had them

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I shake it up… most of my scenes tend to be quick. Vary the location, the technique, the pairing, & don’t forget props, along with the main thread of the story too. My Harry in my Potter fanfic has a new wrinkle… so he’s gotta be careful to not be too overt with it.

Jeff’s in a nudist camp/retreat. I’ve got the teen boys hiking in the buff in Alaska due to not having enough clothes (and not wanting to scuttle the trek). In my potter fanfic, got Ash (a first year) wanting to lodge a protest so he strips in frustration at Hogwarts. Mostly, yeah, hanging out naked… though sometimes the sexual stuff comes through, it’s not nude for the sake of being sexual, rather a flirtation of sexuality while otherwise simply being stark naked.

Non-sexual nudity tends to feature in my stories, characters seem to have that urge to become nudists

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Yeah, I’m not going to consider my 1.1M potter fanfic “economical”. It very much wants to stop and smell all the roses along the path! TBH, I’m rarely at a lack of words when it comes to writing my stories. Anymore, I consider LOTR to be “light”.

It sucked...but served the same purpose as your “Buffy’s POV” heading. It’s simply a rule of thumb I’ve picked up on when to do a double-take, and try to hone in on issues; hence, my sharing of something I tried early on and subsequently abandoned. I’m a late bloomer in terms of getting hit by the writing bug. As mentioned, I’m learning while doing, because I’ve got the tales I want to express. Writing’s an art, so I typically consider rules as guidance, to be followed...most of the time. Though I do want to know when I’m deliberately breaking them.

Confusion’s typically my guide. If I’m having to state who “I” means, or step out of narration to explain, then that’s a hint something’s wrong. When I was using first POV, I’d write something like “I (Harry)” or “I (Ron)” which hints to the problem. Whereas, I’m now third (imperfect/limited) POV as a general rule, where it’s quick to tell who has focus in a scene. Take this exercise, open the book/story to a random page/line… know who “I” is?