Desiderius Price

Desiderius Price Title: The Phone Summary/Synopsis: In a pinch, Marcia (from Star Rebels: Alaska Trekkers) starts using the phone of her dearly departed brother; she starts sending him messages, not expecting a reply.

If you have other relatives (ie parents, cousins, etc), you could have the "falling out" be rather public, so there's an implicit assumption that the man isn't interested in his niece, when the truth is discovered.

And I'm writing another story to show a bit of the s.o.b aspect of the society that my characters hate.

Be careful with showing, not telling, because even that can be taken to an extreme (and, it's also some fertile breeding ground for plot bunnies). I tend to prefer showing over telling, myself. And if it needs to be "told", it's generally better to have a couple of characters discussing it. - DP

Like most here, I'm writing because I enjoy it. But, there is a subtle difference between writing for just myself and writing to post; whether it's completing a story, or filling in missing gaps -- and as I'm unpaid in this, the hit counters/reviews do let me know that the extra effort is appreciated. That's my next $0.50 worth (doubling CL's bid - DP

From the author's perspective, we're putting in an enormous number of hours and effort to take an idea, to shape it into a story, complete, and polish it. The author is wondering "So, is this worth it?" "Are others reading and enjoying it?" As very few leave reviews; the ratings and hit counters are the main way to gauge the level of interest. In the corporate world, they use hit counters too (sales, number of viewers, etc). That's my $0.02 worth. - DP

For SR: Alaska Hey, Thanks for the review. I appreciate them. Grr... the forum swallowed my first reply. Yeah, it's going to be tied in. The story started off as a tiny bit of "backstory" to a spot in the mainline, then it grew! And, chapter 12 is written, not yet ready for posting, but written. (I wait a bit before posting -- I find I catch more on the proofreading by waiting.) - DP

Yes. AFAICT, the general advice is that if you're uncertain, it's better to simply add the code. - DP

Thank you for the review. Reviews do help when I need the encouragement while writing. BR/AR think BC/AD, because I don't want to pin down a specific year our current year, so it's BR for before republic, AR for after. (And I'm putting that in an authors note in the revision.) Because the chapters were out-of-chronological-order was one of the motivators for splitting the story up into separate installments. So, Fenton will be alive (generally) in the first installment, focusing on their younger years. The third installment should cover the rest of their time on Earth (unless it gets too unwieldy and warrants a fourth one). - DP

I appreciate every review, even drunkenly written. Yes for the nudity (that was one of the original motivations given the PWP that had triggered this entire story). Shelby likes to leave poop in offensive locations, but also I use it because it's generally considered offensive and disgusting by most people. I suppose it's good for character development, if they're being watched will pooping, what's going through their minds.

Unfortunately, a lot of sperm have been harmed in the production of this story. Most left out to dry. Thanks for the review! - DP

Backstory is tough, to some degree, because it's also needed for the story. I rehashed the various approaches, rewriting quite a few times, in the end, these episodes were about the best way to do it. Even the next several episodes will get a tidbit of backstory, but less of it. As I don't have a beta reader, it goes out "raw". Just word smith it until it sounds right, in most cases. So, that's more likely a subconscious thing. I do try to vary the wording around a bit, to avoid excessive repetition unless it's desired. That came to the backstory thing, how much to delve into. Several wars have occurred, between now and the S*R era, where the US is, by treaty, allowed to launch a fixed number of flights, from various vehicles, per month. (ie, one for the atlas) So, when the head of the US weather satellite program was caught, in a motel, with the project manager of the prime contractor (a gay affair, mind you, with a religiously conservative government), a review was done of the entire project, and it was determined that the program was behind schedule, very behind schedule. Now, the US could ask the Kremlin/Beijing for waivers, to reschedule the launches, but that'd indicate weakness--can't do that. - DP

This is the spot for discussing my fiction (StarRebels), whether it’s reviews, or anything else related. Oneshot Links Mistletoe Hanging: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108028&chapter=4 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46801807 The Phone: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107953&chapter=6 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46804996 The Phone, Part II: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108028&chapter=7 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46805248 Sweater: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108385&chapter=2 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46801081 Baby Shark: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108443&chapter=2 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46794628 Bones: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108780&chapter=6 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46803511 Jump: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108835&chapter=5 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46803994 Adam the Altar Boy: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109141&chapter=3 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46794034 Jello: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109191&chapter=3 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46801684 Santa’s Sleigh: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600109191&chapter=7 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46728448 Demon: https://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600110164&chapter=4 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44851300 Story Links Jefferey 1: (WIP) http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108225 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32513446 Dolbourne Chronicles: (WIP) http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108050 Dale’s Game: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108463 Alaska Trekkers: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107812 [AO3]: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23612113 Fiends: (WIP) http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108097 The Repair Guy: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108774 (Note, the lack of WIP just means the story is more or less complete, it’s still liable to being edited/revised.)

Looks like a one-stop-affair in the making!

3. Transporter accident?

Put a powerful sedative into the shot, knock her out while this is happening. (Which, if you're trying to have the girls recover from anything, bedrest is typical in medical advice.)

Title: Star Rebels: Fiends Summary: Trapped on a Theocratic Earth, Jaimie leads a group to design and build an ark for leaving the planet. Spoilers: This story will have major spoilers to the previous part, SR: Alaska Trekkers Warnings (anticipated): Abuse, Angst, Bi, Bigotry, Contro, Exhib, F/F, Fet, Fingering, HJ, Humil, M/F, M/M, MCD, MiCD, Minor1, Minor2, Oral, Preg, Rape, Scat, Solo, UST, Violence, Voy, WD, WIP, WS Solo vs Chaptered: Chaptered (WIP) URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108097 Review Replies: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/59549-jaimies-campfire-starrebels/