Raymy

I'm glad I found this thread. I wrote a bit of a rant on my bio in the archive section regarding this very thing shortly after I made an account. I've also recently emailed with a new author to AFF about it after she contacted me regarding a review I left (that she liked). I found that my viewpoint has morphed over the short time I've spent on AFF. I started out very indignant about the "lack of reviews" and decided to set an example by reviewing everything I read. I even soapboxed in a review about other non-reviewers. I didn't flame anyone, though, because if I didn't like the story within about 9 paragraphs, I'd leave without a review. Then I decided to write, for the first time. I figured that I should experience the other side for my reviews to be of any real value. I discovered the need and joy of getting reviewed. I lucked out because the fact that I had made an effort to review others, some returned the favour. This only fuelled my resolve to continue to review the stories I like. I had a momentary lapse of self-pity that some of the authors that I reviewed religiously, and was sometimes the only reviewer, had not honoured me with their opinion. However, I'm not upset anymore that others do not. Not everyone is in my headspace, feeling a responsiblity to support my fellow amateur writers. I'm here to express my creativity, a facet of my being that has been neglected for decades, and I'm happy not to be an expert or genius, but maybe I can give someone else a smile, someone whose not too picky that I'm not very professional. If I get one review, especially from someone whose writing I respect and enjoy, it's worth it. A single review means that you shared with someone, not much different than talking with friend or coworker and getting a response for your effort. That is why I won't be discouraged and will continue to write and review as much as I'm compelled to. While I really don't get why its hard to leave a review, I've accepted that situation as it is. Ranting doesn't change it. I never have a recaptcha problem. I always copy before I attempt and have only had it fail a couple of times, though my review didn't disappear. I even think that some of nonsense words are funny and worth exploring what their meaning could be. Has there been a topic on that?

Wow, Cuzosu, I guess my "devil's advocate" post worked! So glad you shared your experience and I hope you have much success with your future kids. We all speak from our own experience, and I had a good upbringing with only one or two spankings that I remember. One pissed me off because I learned the lesson before the spank was given, so felt it was extra and it caused me to be angry with my parent for awhile after. I'm not scarred, though. I love the "one tap to the head" for cats! Wipe his feet! That would be great after they exit the litter box. I just tried it with my bothersome kitty who puts his claws into me when asking for food while I'm typing. He gave me a "whajadodatfor?" look, settled down, and is now waiting patiently for me to finish. It worked!

*eep* I seem to be the only one so far to vote "abuse". I would have chosen a 3rd category of both and I think others would agree based on their comments. Clearly, "it depends". However, I took the position of abuse to be devil's advocate and provide counter arguments to ponder. Shock-value seems to be the only benefit to physical aggression and although it may be necessary sometimes, it may not be mentally healthy to either party. I guess its a matter of definition, then. I think abuse is the label used when the result has a negative feedback, even if there are positive results. Discipline is guidance, rules and appropriate consequences to form or change behaviour, although the dictionary includes the word 'punishment' which connotes abuse, in my book. A child may register the importance of the offending act more readily from a spank or may be "shocked" into snapping out of an escalating tantrum, but also learns that superiority enforced with physical trauma and pain, however slight, is condoned by the caregiver's use of it. This is a person who figures centrally on the dependant child. Some children can translate this as "monkey see, monkey do" and end up re-enacting on the playground or later in relationships. Regardless of how controlled the giver is, and IMHO control is rarely 100%, the message is that one person can dominate another using force. Indeed, a parent needs to establish this dominating role to fortify their position as the authority, however, there are other means and methods that don't need physical displays to strengthen this position. I feel the spanker can easily lose control, maybe not always, but eventually. I speak from experience, and it weighs heavily on my mind. Not to mention that it emotionally distances the two in order to be effective. It's tough to bring the child back into your trust, when the threat is present. Hence, the unhealthy affect to both. The problem is that we're not born with the skills to deal with civilizing our children. Our innate response to disobedience is anger, and escalates to physical dominance. Even if we, as adults, have learned to control our impulses, we still need to further learn alternate ways to teach and guide our children. If we use a spank to send a message, perhaps we need to send another one in tandem to mitigate the detrimental effects. I, personally, have decided to halt the use of spanking because of my own journey to improve my communication with my son and my desire to maintain 'control' of my emotions during especially trying moments with him.

You're right, I stand corrected. I reread Shades and that particular scene is definitely sub Kisuke, dom Ichi. (which was really good) The other times Kisuke is a bottom in the story are rare and regardless, there isn't much physical D/s in their sex except for the one scene. Although, I read Ichigo as being very forward and assertive, and Kisuke as being "the receiver", letting Ichi take lead, even when Kisuke's the top. That's the mental D/s I refer to. Because of his caretaker role, he's like a wife, putting his needs/desires second in importance to Ichigo's. It's like a natural submissive role. Not that I believe a wife should be submissive. That's a traditional or historic view, but women tend to be caretakers, especially as wives and mothers. I did read your drabbles and replied as I'm sure you noticed. You know, Kisuke was not even on my radar until I read a few really good stories with him, yours and Silverkytten's being of note. Now, he's on my mind a lot, and I wrote a little Halloween oneshot with him as the storyteller. That being said, I could go for any pairing if the writing makes me believe they could be together.

Thanks for the story referrals. I've actually read Shades of Grey and I guess I didn't see Kisuke as strictly sub. I think I look at it more from a mental position than a physical one as I'm of the opinion that an uke is a pleasure choice and not a D/s issue. Shit, that was a good story, though. I don't think its complete, or maybe I was just wishing for more.

"He summons a very small fax which happens to be Naruto!" So that's a pocket fax machine used to send anime characters to your friends. Yay! Send me...um...Ichigo!

Awww, man. I just made a forum account and had signed out. Sorry, I'm reposting this now that I signed in. I'm such a nube.