Raymy

I'm sure I'm guilty of that. Most of my family dinners are with my 2 sisters, we're all single, so we talk about everything. I think that all kids tell their parents when they fart because parents are always asking, just like your grandmother, about the child's bathroom occurrences. Heck, my son's 12 now, and just the other day, we were on the bus and he leans into my ear, "I farted!" and I just blinked and sniffed. It couldn't have been bad cuz I couldn't smell it over the other obnoxious smells one gets with 20 other people on a public bus. Have you ever picked a scab on your face while you were talking to a coworker, and have it bleed all over your finger? *oh, the shame of it all*

LOL. My first thought was "thesauri".

ROFLMAO! That blow torch is just the perfect cherry on the typo. It wouldn't have struck me nearly as funny without it!

"Jump" ... in my pants Van Halen

Thanks, everyone, for the excellent feedback. I wish I got reviews like this! DG, I think I must read too much, then, but you make a good point. I'm also not very discriminating. I give a lot more stories a chance to wow me than when I started reading here. You never know when you'll come across something really good. However, that puts me in this dilemma, because of my "rule". I guess I'll have to work harder to limit my reading. The OCD (self-diagnosed) is also a factor in why I read so much. Obsessed with reading, Compelled to review. What a combo! RogueMudblood, I'm not sure I understand the tag <hr> but I do preface my reviews with the chapter number. I tend to start a new paragraph if I'm switching between topics, like content versus technical observations. JayDee & Cuzosu, I also don't like to give negative comments and so try to only give constructive criticism* if I'm really in the mood to try to help the writer. It's funny that way, but in order to point out someone's mistakes, I need to feel compassion for them, so I can temper my words to be as honest and non-judgemental as possible. I need that to prevent my rude, self-important side from taking over. Usually, I give critical reviews when I really liked the story and have plenty of good things to say, also. I think I only gave a strictly negative review, once. The person had a wall of text with very little punctuation, so that all other grammar faux pas were irrelevant. Most would have backed out immediately, but I pushed through, trying to find something redeemable. I couldn't finish, but gave the only review to clue this person in on the problem. I guess I felt sorry for them, figuring it was an uploading problem. I simply suggested they get the wall-o-text fixed if they seriously want anyone to read the story, plus to review their punctuation. *Yes, I do know that concrit may be considered to encompass the effect a story has on a reader but I believe its purpose is to promote improvement. Most of my reviews aim for support and encouragement, and no direct improvement can be utilized from them.

Cool, PW. Thanks for the links. I checked them out and bookmarked the site. Ever think about starting a thread under author resources with quick tips and links? Is there already something there? It's not like I checked; I've barely scratched the surface of what's been posted in the forums. I just thought that a well organized mini-grammar lesson would be helpful for many authors who say they don't have the time to become fully educated on the subject. It would be easy to point to it during a review. Also, the direct address comma rule isn't a large enough topic to keep a post alive, so it's natural that it devolved into a general grammar discussion. I am glad you enjoy the input and you may even say that you successfully engaged many posters, thereby creating a 'Hot' topic.

Hah! That's why I used it! Your link is the very one my link refers to. And what I took from it was that it's pretty hard to be righteous on this issue. So, I thought I'd slum a little. I still won't use it in any serious way, though. Forum posts fall low on the totem pole of classy writing, just above chat rooms or shout boxes. I have no doubt that the writers appreciate my reviews; many have replied, demonstrating it. Do you feel guilty if you don't leave a review for something you read all the way through? Eliminate the ones you stopped reading because something was off about it and you couldn't stomach anymore. If you liked it well enough to keep reading, right until the end or where the latest chapter ends, do you feel compelled to review? Will you opt not to review because it was just that night's entertainment and you don't have anything more to say than, "Hey, I really liked it. Good job." I hate to leave a review like that but alternatively, I have to think, and ask myself questions, and maybe even debate a little to come up with something I'm satisfied with. Now, multiply that scenario times two or three in an evening if you review every chapter, more if you're starting an established story from the beginning and you're really into it. How far do you go? One review for the entire story in that case? Do you feel that you spend too much time leaving a good review? The definition of 'good review' being one that includes the qualities stated previously in both my original post and in the replies. No need to argue over that, which isn't my main point. This isn't a poll. Just want to know if anyone's like me. And so far, I don't get that feeling.

I have a crazy need to review everything I read, irregardless* of wasting my own time. It's a self-imposed rule. I made the decision to support fellow authors no matter what the cost, because I believe in practicing the behaviour you wish others would use on you. Meaning, if I want reviews, I must give them. It's not perfect Karma, but sometimes you need to put out 10 times (maybe 100) more effort to receive a positive response in return. It's the world we live in. Usually, authors complain about not getting reviews, but my complaint is that I can't keep up with the reviews I expect to give. I have a virtual sticky on my desktop with a list of the stories I still need to review. I'm also quite verbose in my comments which makes leaving a review (sometimes for every chapter) a bit challenging. I want to be original, insightful, witty, and sincere. I sometimes offer con crit, but mostly just analyze the content, the affect it had on me, and where my thoughts took me. I imagine its nice for the writer to know what their writing does to a reader, and not just if their writing is coherent or grammatically correct. It's seems silly to agonize over a review, but such is my nature. I agonize over everything I write. Proofreading is a major undertaking, involving the dictionary and multiple rereads. So, you see, my reviews take up a lot of time and effort, and sometimes I lose my impetus to put out. Ergo, the list. Am I the only one with this particular form of OCD? Somebody tell me that I have kindred spirits out there, and I'm not a lonely, weird, old cat lady. *irregardless - see discussion thread "The Direct Address Comma Rule"

Okay, Okay, you've got me. I've been re-educated regarding "irregardless". I don't like the way it sounds, but am willing to control my impulse to correct a word that is so commonly used. I agree with the one commenter, that the use of double negatives in language adds subtlety to meaning and does not refer to the opposite meaning. I am also a mathematically inclined, logical person, hence, my profession in the sciences. That is probably why I have trouble with them. Edit: PW, we posted at the same time. LOL. There's a bit of that going around. I agree with you. I'm pretty good at exposition and composition. I write "how to" manuals at work. I don't think I'm nearly as creative as I'd like to be, but I appreciate in others, so I think maybe it's there, just needs nurturing.

Not Guilty. Unless you count my son "walking me". He runs off and I have to give chase. Have you ever slept more than 12 hours straight? My body gets buzzy, and I feel crappy if I go more than 10.

Aye, that is the point. (BTW, thank you for using the word regardless correctly. I am SICK of hearing people say "irregardless") Some people make more of an effort than others to improve their skills. I still believe that some just don't have it in them to improve to my exacting standards. And... that is my problem. However, I don't actually tremble at criticism, because I am a lover of learning and don't truly believe that I know all there is to know. I would welcome con crit if I had readers who would be willing.

Ah, I love these conversations. It always sparks the "holier than thou" part of me that enjoys feeling superior to others. There aren't many aspects of life that I can claim to be an expert in, but I've always felt that I put a lot more effort than most others into language: spelling, usage and grammar. If you detect sarcasm braided with self-deprecation overlaying basic truth, then you get my point. (and perhaps, apple pie!) I'm not pointing any fingers, other than at myself, for I grew up lording it over my sister (older). It, being my aptitude for spelling, but mostly, having a better understanding of word usage. Just at Xmas dinner, she said, "The scent of the candle is "waffing" over to her." I bit my tongue in order not to correct her. That was a rare moment for me because I don't hesitate to do so at every turn. (and did incessantly during Xmas-time) We were both raised similarly, so it's not that I had any advantage other than my brain works differently. I have struggled to get over the enjoyment I gain at feeling that I'm better than her, but most of the time it's a losing battle. We are what we are. Because I have this relationship with my sister, I try to practice leniency for most poor writing I encounter. However, as I've admitted, my inflated ego gets the better of me, many times, and I tactlessly point out the flaws I perceive. Seriously, the ease of learning literacy concepts and memorizing how words are spelled or used is something we may take for granted. Many people can't incorporate what they are taught simply because they aren't wired that way. They still have creativity and imagination that blows me away, and they deserve the forum to express themselves. I would like to see them recognize that they still need to try to learn, though. At the very least, proofreading their own work before they submit would make a huge difference. The worst part of being so "perfect", as many of you can attest to, is knowing that when you make a despicable mistake, you berate yourself the hardest. "Bad _____, you should know better!" I know that as long as there is someone who can point out my errors, I tremble every time I make a post or submit a story.

Guilty. I shaved my head because my hair really pisses me off! It wasn't strictly bald but I think I could've made it into the SEALS program. Have you ever licked a metal pole in winter to see if it's really true that your tongue will stick to it?

You know I had to do it! That was so funny! (zerg rush)

That's awesome, JayDee. I didn't know you could do that on Google. I love learning new tips and tricks.

Swedish Elves Manufacture All New Trains, Insists Claus-Santa R E I N D E E R

Very sound advice given by pittwitch and Cuzosu, I think. I'd like to offer an analogy to the proverb, "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime." *hums a few bars from the song, Moves Like Jagger.* "And it goes like this": If you give a challenged writer a beta, he posts a good chapter for the day. If you teach said writer to improve his skills, he posts good chapters for his career. (all on his own!) It would truly be to your benefit to improve your skills, so even if you need a beta right now, don't give up on learning. I don't have any real advice concerning grammar and punctuation, except, get a textbook from an English writing course, and try to absorb what you can understand. I have to admit, they are kinda dry and complicated, though.

That's a well written promo. I think I'll check it out. Edit: I've returned to say that I read all the chapters that were up and enjoyed it immensely. I want to join you in recommending this story.

H is for Horny, that is what we all are U is for Unsatisfied, let's go to the bar! R is for Rodents cuz they is so creepy R is for Realize that I'm kinda sleepy I is for Instant, not my favourite drink C is for Coffee grounds in my wash sink! A is for Affects Shiva, targeting you N is for Nutrient content of glue E is for Ears and that's all I can do. I know I'm a crappy poet, but I hoped to shake things up a bit. E A R T H Q U A K E

( Nutrient Cheese Ears?!! I think you're doing that on purpose. But it still makes me laugh.) Snake Hybrid Orders Raw Turtle Carcass Under Tortilla B A B U S H K A