Aysha c.c.

Sorry to have to tell you guys this my friends but I had a bit of a tragedy with my laptop, it was attacked by an evil bottle of international delights hazelnut coffee creamer. by that I mean that when I picked my laptop up it was literally pouring out of it! There is some good news in that my laptop is Toshiba and miraculously it turns on and all the data on it appears to be fine so the next chapter hasn't been lost. However the fan for the power source is too sticky to run, so I can't use it to continue writing until I can afford to get it fixed, and I don't have access to another computer. I will say that I'm renaming my laptop the inconquerable Toshiba! it has been dropped, kicked, watered, coffeed, and coffee creamered and it just keeps fighting! If you want an awesome durable computer buy a Toshiba!

I find that it helps to generate reviews if you try to get your fans involved in the creation of the story. In your A/N tell them to post suggestions for the story in their reviews. I also find that creating a review response thread and assuring your fans that you will respond to their reviews also helps to generate more reviews. Keep in mind that you should post the link to the review thread at the end of every chapter.

As a fellow writer of epic stories, I realize that we fans of this story are asking a lot. However I think it would simply be a shame to leave out Ruby and Kokoa. I know it'll be a lot of work, especially considering that Ruby's would have to be such a long story, but hang in there, I know you can do it!

I agree with everything you said in the above post so I'll wait and see how you deal with it in the next story. As for my last review I was hoping that you would answer it by saying: "No you don't know me at all my friend; of course I'm going to write a chapter for Kokoa!"

Sorry guest_guest but the Pretender bodies are not part of the Transformers Prime canon, I just don't see how I could fit it in to the story, and they don't really fit into my story, but I promise you there will be interesting developments that you will enjoy if you stick with the story.

Sorry Guest_Jonathan one thing I don't do is (beast) ... As for your idea about multiple perspectives of the kids development, I had not thought of that. It sounds interesting and I'll give it some thought

I just dropped my review today so you can read it and get back to me on it! I DEMAND SOME ANSWERS! LOL "Did he just get me pregnant?" Thought other Moka.

I've never written a story with fu in it, one of the chapters will include Naruto, Hinata, and Hanabi.

You are very welcome. As a writer you have earned my respect. not just because your stories are so good, and they are very good, but also because you take constructive criticism well, and you go after your mistake like they are a roach on the dining room table during Christmas dinner. However I do have one question: isn't the other mocha being a bit on the dormant side throughout these interactions? I mean Inner Moka talks to the outer Moka when she's sealed away, shouldn't the opposite be true?

I think it would be overly ambitious to expect either Moka to have sex with Tsuknue a on the first date, they are both too shy (though inner Moka hides it with her know your place bravado) to go that far on a first date. You also have to consider the fact that they share the same body. They do respect each other and I don't think that they would go that far without the other's permission. If I'm honest I think Drunken Scotsman pushed it as far as he could. Especially considering Tsukune's personality. If he had been more assertive, which I think he should of been, I think he could have pulled her down on top of him (boxers on) and they both could of gotten off doing to grinding. I think what inner Moka really wants is a more assertive Tsukune. However I think that is as far as inner Moka would go with out outer Moka's permission and I think the same goes for Tsukune. I truly would have been shocked, and would've told Drunken Scotsman that it was out of character, if they actually did have sex, even though that's what we horn dogs really want to read about. But don't worry I've read quite a bit of Drunken Scotsman's work and I know if your patient you'll be quite satisfied with what you get.

thank you Jack and Jonathan for your post, it's great to know you're so excited about the next chapter I am working on it and probably about half way through maybe a little more, hope to have it up soon.

I'm wondering is tsukune really going to let anything erotic happen between himself and inner mocha on the first date? How will outer mocha react? I think she would be immensely jealous! I think after reading your story I'm going to have to watch the series again for the 4th time!

but what if you up size the person to someone who's 22 feet tall for someone like Arcee from Transformers Prime, whether they are B C or D there going to be a lot bigger than they would be on a 6 foot tall human woman, right?

I have a question about breast size. I was told that the volume of each individual cup size could vary based on the height and frame of the woman they belong to, so that in actuality a woman who is 5 feet tall with a c-cup would have smaller breast then a woman who would be 6 feet tall with a c-cup. I think it's supposed to have something to do with the ratio between the distance around the woman's sternum under her breast and the distance around her crossing the nipples. is this true? PS when it comes to Sakura, Ino, and Hinata, I would say that Sakkara has a c-cup, Ino has a d-cup, and Hinata has DD-cup if they are 16 and 17 years old like in the later episodes of cartoons

You are absolutely right! I was the one who got them mixed up. Thank you for your persistence! However I have had to remove this form the review page of the story because it is not a review.

Yes you are absolutely right, do you know where I can find someone who meets that description?

Back in high school I used to achieve speeds of up words of 120 words per minute I used to use a technique called thought flow where I didn't even think the words I was writing I simply saw what was on the page and my fingers moved without thought haven't done that in about 100 years, Now I'm too embarrassed to tell you what my wpm is!

Chapter 2 is up and ready for your enjoyment! Chapter 2 The funniest thing I've ever seen! The worst thing I've ever seen! The sexiest thing I've ever seen! A New Jutsu??? A/N: Okay, I've done some research and I've discovered that genin graduate from the ninja Academy at the age of 12 so that makes Moegi and the rest of her squad 12 years old. However my research shows that at this time. In the show Hanabi should be 10 years old. So we're just going to assume that because of her advanced skill she was skipped ahead two years and put in the same class with Moegi and the rest of her team. I will be making adjustments to some of the details in chapter 1 to reflect this. Japanese words you need to know: (senpai) is the word acknowledging someone's advanced rank or experience whether in school, business, or even as a ninja. (Kohai) is a word sinpai would used to recognize their juniors. Warning: the worst thing Hanabi has ever seen was and is traumatic! She doesn't go into the gory details but try not to throw up on your keyboard! LOL

I have an idea forming in my head I think I will add Ino's mother to the mix and extending the rivalry of their girls to include the mothers how do you like the idea of the mothers having a drunken contest to see who can make their daughter cum first

I don't have anything against the pairing itself or mother daughter incest but I don't know anything about Sakura's mother. And Sakuris about 16 in my story. So not that far off.

go ahead and leave a description of the story and the things you'd like to see in it and I'll see what I can do. be advised that I don't do M/M or sexual violence.

I'm currently writing three active and extremely involved stories, if it is a one shot I would consider it but I couldn't make any guarantees.

Thank you very much 123rodx I appreciate you letting me know that you feel I did a good job. That is what's important to me as an author. Think you mad bob for such an enthusiastic review! I myself have never seen a fanfic with Hanabi is the main character and that is the main reason why I decided to write this story. I hope that you and everyone continues to enjoy this story as it develops. I look forward to hearing from everyone that wishes to make a comment. Thank you all once again!

Thank you for your review ssvidel3! I am happy to know you enjoyed my story and that I was able to inspire you to break your silence. The enjoyment you get from reading the stories posted by the authors of adultfanfiction.org Is the same enjoyment we get reading your reviews. Thank you for letting me know, I tried very hard to bring the personalities of the characters we all love into my work as accurately as possible. Who can really say that they are a fan of Hanabi? The writers of the show and artists created a very beautiful character but left her a blank slate as far as personality and story. The fact that she is a blank slate is one of the reasons why I chose the character to write about it's almost like writing an OC that's already part of the canon, the fact that she lacks the shyness of her sister give me the freedom to create the pervy fist evolution of the gentle fist, and her seriousness gives her the ability to play off of the goofballs that already exist in the Naruto universe. I love the dynamic between these two characters, friends that became rivals in love from an early age, and rivals as kunoichi. It seemed natural that they might develop a friends with benefits kind of relationship, and I felt I needed more established characters and characters with greater knowledge of chakra in order for Hobby to develop the pervy fist. Plus it helps that these two are really hot! Lastly I'd be happy to field any questions you have, so ask away. Thanks once again for such a detailed review!

I have gotten some reviews with some good feedback, so I thought it would be a good idea to create this reply thread, so you can come here to read my responses to your reviews. The first review is from: Akuma-Heika. Thank you Akuma-Heika for your review! Thank you also for pointing out that increase in the flow of chocolate. LOL. I use Dragon naturally speaking, the amazingly inaccurate voice recognition software from a nuisance, that was supposed to be nuance, to write my stories. Dragon has the amazing ability to (file) that is supposed tho be (fuck) up what you're saying at exactly the worst time, every time! When Hanabi says Oniichan she is referring to her big sister, Oniichan is the Japanese word meaning big sister. I do think it will be possible to accommodate your pairing requests. The next review comes from: KRP Thank you KRP for your review. Ever since I saw Hanabi in the second stage of the chunin exams I have wanted to see her character developed. In the few glimpses that we've had of her throughout the show it's been obvious that she's better at concealing her feelings than Henata, so I've always wondered what she's really thinking. That's why I've decided to write this storyline. I am studying Japanese using Rosetta Stone software. It is a very effective method for learning a new language and I would recommend Rosetta Stone to anyone. Because of this I know for certain that Oniichan is the Japanese word meaning big sister. Oneechan is the Japanese word meaning big brother. Both can be made more formal by changing chan to "sona" (Note the (n) pronounced as (m) in this case) and less formal by dropping the O and saying Niichan or Neechan. I hope you enjoy what's coming up next TTYL.