Aysha c.c.

This is a good rant, I to am dyslexic, and like you I work hard checking and re-checking my stories before I post them. By the time I post, I have likely read it 6 to 10 times, and still I end up missing a lot of stuff that I get told about in reviews. Whenever I am informed of mistakes I make a mental note to re-read the story and fix the problems. Lastly I have never deleted a review, even if I didn't agree with what was said.

Thanks for letting me know, RM, at least I have something to look forward too.

I get what you are saying, I love a good f/f, myself, and I'm writing my first f/f scene even in TransPrime. I'm simply saying, I wish the site had a filtering system so I can click +FF -Rape +FM -MM, and presto I get what I want and nothing I don't.

You know, as a 100% heterosexual man I have to wonder if you ladies of aff.net are aware of how much this site flames. Please, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gay people what so ever. My problem is with having (gay) flashed endlessly in my face the hole time I'm on the site. I sincerely believe that everyone has the right to live the life they want. I do however have to say that having to see the omnipresent gay adds and read through the summaries of 5 gay stories before I find 1 M/F story, literally and I mean literally makes me nauseous, and I have to wonder if the site losses a lot of potential straight male readers because of how hot the flames are coming off the site. I'm not saying I begrudge anyone their gay, I just wish there was a way for me to avoid it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Without having to avoid the site altogether because I really love this place. Okay, that's my rant, hope I didn't offend anyone, this is just how I feel.

The chapters for my Transformers Prime story really do average over 20k words and I get a lot of great reviews, no one has ever complained about them being too long. I know that long stories can be intimidating but I don't think that you should dismiss a story just because its long. I think you should check it out, and if the writing is good it will keep you so engrossed that you will be wishing it were longer. DG, I realize you must be immensely busy and its cool if you don't want to, but if you could get around to reading Transformers Prime the Truth Revealed; I would really appreciate your opinion. It's a love story between Jack and Arcee, with lots of original concepts I'm adding to the Transformers universe. There is smut but its woven into the story... mostly. Chapter 4 the smut is mostly for the readers but I'm trying to make sure that it doesn't detract from the story. If you do check it out please keep in mind that I don't have a bata and so there are likely to be some spelling errors, but not many.

So I must know, did I simply guess right or did I make a suggestion to good to pass up? P.S. I hope my guess wasn't the source of your troubles with this chapter. I know how unnerving it can be to have someone guess so precisely what you are thinking. Believe it or not its your choice, but actual telepathy is a trait of my family. Don't get me wrong, we aren't on the level of Gean or Prof. X, not by a long shot, But we can pick up on single words and some times short fraises. They are like whispers in the back of your mind and are easy to overlook if your not paying attention. When it comes to something as complex as who Wanda slept with someone would have to be focusing very intently on it and would have to want us to see it. Though usually that only happens within the family. (not kidding) Or it could just be that you and I have similarly twisted fantasies But please let me know which it was.

I'm sorry if I'm not being clear, but I am trying to be helpful. So I'll give it one more try and hopefully you can take something from it. What I am trying to say is that you need to let yourself write what you want to write. Something that when you read it you say to yourself. "That's a good story, I enjoyed it." Then let other people decide whether or not it is a great peace of work You may have to rewrite it fifty times before a publisher will accept it and then it could still fall flat in the public eye. However you will never know until you LET YOURSELF WRITE IT. That's all I have to say about that. Good luck!

But isn't it the ambition that's getting in the way? If you want a recipe for writing ask Steven King because he has it down pat, story, after story, after story. what you're looking for is totally intangible you can't grasp it because you decide its what you want. Its something that's there when you find it, yes after a lot of hard work and research, but you're not going to end up with a great peace of work because you found some holy grail on "how to write great works." People's taste are to fickle for something like that. Call me naive if you want to but I still think you have to start by writing a story you enjoy, that applies to original stories to, then give that to a publisher and go through the revision process.

I can see that the biggest part of your problem is that you're no longer writing for yourself. I see stories like Ben 10 and Transformers Prime and I think, wow wouldn't it be cool if it was this way instead? So I write the story the way I see it in my head, and low and behold I get a review that says "the way you write is awesome" Of course my heart exploded with joy, but I wrote the story for myself, not for what others think of it. I prove this to myself when I read my own stories and get pulled in like any of my readers. I laugh a the funny parts and cry at the sad parts. It doesn't matter that I wrote the story all that matters is that I enjoy the story. You are too hung up on trying to prove yourself to others, instead of on whether or not you are enjoying the story you are writing. Now if you want to tell what kind of gums are in the bush then by gum do it, and if you don't then don't. Some day I hope to become a published writer and my hope will be that a few people will enjoy my stories as much as I do. My stories written for me the way I want them written. But sill hoping others enjoy them as well, and knowing full well that many will not.

No you should't feel that way. I myself am having the same trouble with my story. Sometimes when its more work than fun you have to stop and do something else. Whether or not you enjoyed writing the story will be reflected in your final product, so I would rather you take your time, than to post something you had to struggle to slap together. So ill be waiting as long as it takes.

I don't think you should revise the chapter. What you did was only natural. I don't think anyone can stop loving the person they fall in love with. Even if the person that you love becomes someone you can't love you still love the person they were. I think that's how it is with kitty and Lance. As for the fuzzy elf, someone got to him before she realized she could lose him. That makes it harder for her because she can still love the person he is. I think you did a good job of making it clear in the story, and that she is happy with the man she has.

Don't worry about it Mudblood. I was just being a bit silly.

Hi DrunkenScotsman, Chapter 15 was awesome. You hinted in past chapters at Wanda's sexuality and I'm glad to see it come to fruition. I am eagerly looking forward to chapter 16. Oh, and I do think that this was your best intermission chapter for all the reasons you mentioned. Is it Mystique/Wristy? because that would be cool, especially if Wanda didn't know Wristy was mystique and rogue tells her after her story. PS If you have the time and you want to check out my story click this link here Transformers Prime The Truth Revealed , of course, you don't have to I'm still going to read your awesome story If you don't, so don't worry about it, but if you do, be warned that the first and the third chapters are both over 20,000 words and chapter 2 is about 5500. as for the story, warnings I think it would be easier to tell you that the things that aren't likely to appear in the story is scat (definitely not!) bondage , M/M, , or rape. However, I am dealing with the decepticons here so no promises on that one

WHAT!!! Hey I resemble that remark! the first chapter of my Transformers prime story had over 21,000 words in it chapter 2 was only about 5500 . But chapter 3 was another 20,000 and chapter 4 is already at 21,000 , and I think I can expect another 5000 before I'm finished with chapter. I just like to give my readers some of development of the story line in each chapter.

First of all let me say that I love the way you write the girls accents especially rhain's Second don't listen to anyone telling you that jeans story or anybody else's is too complicated. Life is complicated , and you are literally inventing part of their life stories so as far as I'm concerned, the more complicated the better, and you do it well. Most people don't realize that being a good writer is like being the ultimate actor. Actors when they receive a script,. The best ones are able to set aside their own personalities and adopt the personality of the character they are going to play., so they don't ask what would I do if I were in the characters situation. They accept themselves as the character and simply react as they should. Writers have to do the same thing only with every character they write so really you can't be a good writer unless you suffer from multiple personality disorder LOL. how many characters are you writing about? Seriously though, I think you're a really good writer and I look forward to reading the rest of the story. and maybe one of these days you'll check out my stories and tell me what you think of them. Aysha

I read your story and in case you haven't noticed, I sent you a PM

Is there anyway you can add a content filter to the archives so we can tell it not to display stories with certain tags? I think that would be really cool

When you post this I will read it and let you know what I think. Just so you know I'm writing my own Teen Titans story with Raven as a futanari, so I will be a tough credit of your work on this. Good luck!

I think if you do that it would have to be done with Blackfire forcing Starfire to participate. No matter what her condition, she would not willingly participate in a rape especially of her friend. So black fire would have to, I don't know, put something like an exploding collar on Raven, and threatened to blow it up if she doesn't participate. Otherwise it just doesn't work.

I'm happy to know my advice can help someone improve their writing. It's often the simple things that get overlooked. I'm glad you liked my post

First, let me clear something up, Aysha is a man. Aisha Clanclan just happens to be my favorite anime NecoGirl and is probably my favorite cartoon character of all time. I just like the name spelled with a Y though. As for being lucky. Yes, I consider myself to be very lucky, every time I need inspiration for my writing I go back and reread the reviews I've received and they push me to keep going. Even when the story is fighting back. I don't know if I'm qualified to try to teach you anything , I just enjoyed reading and writing, but I suppose I may be able to give you a few tips. The first one being don't take any shortcuts developing your story, make sure you explain your character's motives emotions and feelings and what precipitated them. Number two is continuity to the best to maintain the continuity of your stories so you don't throw the reader out of the world you're trying to create for them. If you think of something in later chapters that relates to the earlier chapters , make sure that you get the reference right. For instance in the legend of Drizzt , the author wrote in one of the early books about the main character playing a joke on his nome friend, where he had his pet Panther lie on top of the nome. Then in a later book got it wrong when the main character was retelling the story and said he had the panther lie on his dwarf friend. Both characters were present at the retelling of the story and both acted like he got it right. It may seem like a small breach in the continuity of the story, but it's those small things that stick with the reader. The third and final tip I can give is that if your character has special abilities or attributes, explain them! How they got them and how they work and don't put them in unless they're important to the story. If you read my stories, you'll see that I have tried to stick to these principles myself, and hopefully they can help you. Good luck from Ayhsa P.S. Oh wait , I just thought of one more thing and it's probably the most important. Read your story not as you wrote it because , you can overlook things that way. you have to try to read it as if you don't know what's written on the page. . It's a very difficult thing to do as the writer of the story, you tend to anticipate what the next word will be and you miss seeing what's actually there and it can be something that you did not intend to put on the page that totally destroys the continuity of your story. So every time you complete a couple of chapters go back over it , make sure you read every single word that is actually on the page and then once you've completed a scene or chapter reread that to make sure it comes off the way you intend. Well that's all I have I sincerely hope it helps.

Honestly, I haven't had any bad reviews , so I can't share in your experience. However, I've had several wonderful reviews that mean a great deal to me, and I am extremely grateful to those who took the time to write them, and so I will share them Reviews for Transformers Prime The Truth Revealed 1: "Great chapter, took me longer to read that I reckoned it would. I rather liked the talk between Jack and June about the relationship with Arcee. Something that really had me laughing though was where June makes mention of nothing getting into her lately, of course the June being a MILF jokes never got old either. Wondering what the name of the protoform will be, I am rather worried you are going to end up turning the protoform in Sari from the Animated series. (I really hate Sari, she was sooooo Mary Sue.)" 2: "Congratulations, just one of fifty adult-fanfics have what you've done, and done well. A good story! Please keep writing this awesome Fic" 3:Personally i have read my fair share of these stories. But this one was hands down the best. The way you made it work was amazing. As for were you could take this story the show transformers animated had a human cybertronian hybrid. Arcee's child could be the same. With megatron finding out and becoming obsessed with finding out how another cybertronian was born. Also a little three way with Arachnid wouldn't hurt." Reviews for Ben Ten, He Saw It 1: "Whoa, that was...great...I can't...Give me a minute to breathe. That totally blew me away! The last Ben 10 fic I read that was this hot involved his aliens(I guess with Heatblast it was really hot). Maybe you can write something along those lines, but I understand if you don't- people have different preferences and I'm cool with that. I did notice many misspells and grammer problems, but it didn't distract too much (and that's not the main reason why we're here anyway). Maybe if you still have the Ben 10 bug, you can write something for the Alien Force or Ultimate Alien. Sixteen year old Gwen is scrumptious, with that ponytail and stockings. Gotta love a girl with glowing eyes. Thanks and keep it up, I'll check out your TT story soon. Bye," 2"this was surprisingly awesome. You made the sex hot, but it also wasn't like what you normally find on here. You described the sex pretty solidly, used actual anatomy and really impressed me by not turning them into freaking porn stars. Losing her virginity was not a quick "Ouch" and followed by a rodeo routine and Ben wasn't so fantastically endowed that he would make Clydesdales turn away in shame at the sight of his genitalia. Writing virgins isn't easy, you go to far into realism and the sex isn't fun for either reader or participant, go the other way and it is feels so fake. You opted for a little more of the latter, but it wasn't so far that it made me roll my eyes. My only real criticism was that Gwen was a little out of character here. I realize that Gwen from the show would not be having incestuous relations with Ben on a log but if you write anymore of these you might try a bit harder to keep her in character, part way through she stopped feeling like Gwen; maybe it was in the dialogue as she used twat every other sentence. Aside from that, this rocked and I hope you do more. Maybe deal a little more into the forbidden attraction aspect as they have crazy sexual chemistry and tension, but would at least acknowledge that they are cousins and that what they are feeling isn't supposed to be right. Thanks for the good read!" 3: "This is much better I have read this story literally dozens of times enjoying each and every part of it the way you wrote it seems like a natural day in the life of Ben 10 and I truly wish that you would make more I don't get what is up with all the benxkevin going on here." Reviews for Teen Titans and A Sex-fiend 1: "Hi, so sorry it's taken me so long to do this. I haven't logged into my forum account forever and I just saw your message the other day. I remember I read this a few days after the ben 10 one, but I got busy, or lazy, something, and didn't get to reviewing it. Don't think I forgot about you, I've just had too many personal life problems getting in my way recently. I like it. It shows how Raven lost something that could make her want to stop feeling. I like origin stories, and I don't know if this is actually her origins, but I'd like to think it was something like that. I'm not too into the canon thing, but I think this younger Raven matched the little Raven in one of the episodes where Robin and Raven went to her father's domain. I like Tigers and his playful, accepting self. They seemed like the perfect grown-up-together couple. You know, they grew up in the same sandbox and just kind of stuck together all the time till they were married. I also really liked the possession thing at the end. I think it was possession. It foreshadowed/promised some danger and excitement, as well as futa/herm smut. I love that stuff. Maybe you have some Ra/Star going later on. I especially love futa on fem. I did notice too many spelling and grammar errors to count, but some were like sentences that didn't add to the story, or go anywhere at all, and some were just basic spelling mistakes. I understand the dyslexia. I don't have it, but I constantly rearrange words in my head, on purpose to see what I can make (Aren't I the most fun at a party), and then I can't remember what I started out with. It's not the same, but we all have problems. If you want, and I don't know how it would work on the forums or what, I could read over some rough drafts and kind of be your beta. I've don't really have much going on, but maybe I could try it out. I like editing my own work way too much, anyway." End of reviews. Anyway, I think anyone who takes the time to type the words: Thank you, good job, or even just, write more please; is an awesome person. But when someone takes the time to write awesome reviews like the ones above... I think that they themselves must be awesome people and deserve a special thank you! Your friend and fellow writer: Aysha

I bow before the magnificence of the DemonGoddess. All hail the DemonGoddess! Conqueror of Internet Explorer and the stupidity of Microsoft! All hail the DemonGoddess!