BronxWench

Not fiction, this happened in my house recently--

It was a dark and stormy night, in a great big house.  Thunderclouds had swirled down from the north and were dumping the rain.

On the phone I had just talked with Jenny--who, with our son, was out-of-state on their road trip to see a massive museum.

I was in my recliner sitting quietly a moment because I was ready to go to bed.  The dark filled every room, all but disregarding a few puny battery-powered candles:  Left the only soul in the house, I was downshifting for sleep.

Power briefly flashed out. The kitchen clock winked--otherwise I wouldn't have missed power, since I'd already had the lights out.

But over the din of the pounding storm, I made out some grating noises and then--footfalls.  In our bedroom, over my head.

In my mind I inventoried what had caused this big house to creak like that from time to time.  Creaking I could explain, yeah.

But there were also the little dull impacts.

Unmistakably, movement upstairs. It sounded exactly like Jenny getting out of bed and walking across the floor--a sound I knew well from repetition, having heard it here above my head-- sometimes every morning in a week--yes indeed: footfalls !

But with Jenny in Ohio, then: who?

The noise was, beyond my doubt now, a presence upstairs.  I froze to stone not wanting to be detected—trying to reassure myself thinking:  It’s the noise of the storm—that’s nothing upstairs  ! 

And when would that Nothing--responsible for what almost was starting to sound like distant angry bangs and thumps--descend the stairs, coming this way?

Starting to hear my heart in my ears, I mentally rejoined the presence by trying to reduce it to some mundane cause I knew--finding it nuts--

Because nobody--especially in a pounding storm--breaks into the TOP floor, while rain slides off the roof and sheets down windows.

Over the roar of the storm, I finally caught a distinctive sound: A plastic case, wheels on an axle jarring with an impact. 

Our vacuum 'droid was loose.

I'd been petrified by what I found to have been the noise of his slamming into furniture like a drunken bad actor who hadn't rehearsed his action scene.

The power spike had jolted his dumb plastic butt right off the battery charger.

And in the dark and fury of the storm, he was--

 VACUUMING.

so my favorite book author has a tiktok and she gave me the great idea based off of her recent tiktok about women faking ‘oreos’ lol so fingers crossed i can produce something to stop this dry spell! lol 

Tis the season to eat a bulb of garlic every day to keep the vampires at bay.

In an hour here I report to work, first day new job--maybe I'm a tad tense.  Mind going a hundred miles an hour.  Random story chosen to channel my energy--

So in Austin I was a college kid walking the nude beach (yup, literally miles of beach in the heart of Texas.  Hippie Hollow).  I was passing a cluster of camped-out folks.

Some bubba in a power boat zoomed closer for a look--and his engine stalled--with him drifting broadside fast toward our promontory.  He could get beached, or his hull could take an unforgiving poke from the terrain.

Guess what made me grin at this memory is--awww, all us naked people scrambled to the edge of the knee-high cliff to help, humanly buffering the gap and giving a shove so he wouldn't end up with his favorite toy scuffed.  

Well, he'd wanted a look !
 

Eureka! I have a car again! Picked it up tonight, and I am utterly delighted with my gently used Jeep.  

My son was downstairs getting ready for school.

Upstairs--off from my normal workday commute--I'd been quietly absorbed in my thoughts: out of sight, unknown or forgotten by all--next to the light switch for the stairs. 

I heard my son tell his mom he had to go back up for his socks.

As he was reaching for the OTHER switch--downstairs--I flicked the light on.  Ta da !

I'm told they looked at each other.

Then he looked back up the stairs.   "Daaad ! ? "  

'Tis the season, for haunting.  He wasn't all convinced that was me !

Changing jobs. Wife insisted I take a week off between.

What happens when I get time off: By midweek now I’m so beat I can’t hit the gym one MORE day, I have to take time off from that too.

Hmm—too much time—if my hand can only reach

—ah! My espresso martini.

So, just when I think things are settling down, and life is beginning to approach normal once more, my car decides to die. This is not simply a case of spending a week with its favorite mechanic. Oh, no. This is a case of the computer no longer talking to any of its sensors, resulting in a very large paperweight that looks quite a bit like a Jeep. 

The daft one and I are going car shopping tomorrow. Hide the whiskey...

So, just when I think things are settling down, and life is beginning to approach normal once more, my car decides to die. This is not simply a case of spending a week with its favorite mechanic. Oh, no. This is a case of the computer no longer talking to any of its sensors, resulting in a very large paperweight that looks quite a bit like a Jeep. 

The daft one and I are going car shopping tomorrow. Hide the whiskey...

So, just when I think things are settling down, and life is beginning to approach normal once more, my car decides to die. This is not simply a case of spending a week with its favorite mechanic. Oh, no. This is a case of the computer no longer talking to any of its sensors, resulting in a very large paperweight that looks quite a bit like a Jeep. 

The daft one and I are going car shopping tomorrow. Hide the whiskey...

So, just when I think things are settling down, and life is beginning to approach normal once more, my car decides to die. This is not simply a case of spending a week with its favorite mechanic. Oh, no. This is a case of the computer no longer talking to any of its sensors, resulting in a very large paperweight that looks quite a bit like a Jeep. 

The daft one and I are going car shopping tomorrow. Hide the whiskey...

I know it’s automated and generic, but I still like the birthday cake Bing made me.

My inner devil wants to compliment the selfie.  Your inner demon for the upcoming holiday?

  Can someone please explain to me why I get so hot and bothered every time Luke Evans posts a topless picture and I can see his nipples!? God damn it!

  Can someone please explain to me why I get so hot and bothered every time Luke Evans posts a topless picture and I can see his nipples!? God damn it!

Happy birthday!    

‘Tis also my daft one’s birthday, just to stretch that coincidental thing a bit further.

https://wordcounter.net/

Found a helpful site

Writer Question

How would you best convey that the story you’re writing is a dark fantasy geared towards adults and as such contains adult themes. I’m a little anxious as I approach the finish line.

So… we just had our second police shooting… 

Big shout-out to @BronxWench for granting a hojillion category requests today!

I did not expect attempting to translate post industrial concepts into a dark fantasy setting is a peculiar situation.

Clown Car- Miniature horseless carriage

Machine guns- rapid handcannon

Welthauptstadt-?

Okay Writer question, from what I can tell. A personal website is a thing?

I think my phone is in a gloomy mood. I was texting my wife about our anniversary, and the word it suggested as I was typing was "annihilation."

Sending birthday wishes to my darling @pippychick and wishing you all the very best for this year, and all the years to come. Love you!    

Okay Writer question, from what I can tell. A personal website is a thing?