WillowDarkling

Welcome back, Apollo.

Oh, wow........ I feel the need to bow to your genius... I never would have figured that out. Thank you so much. The chapter comes up without a hitch now, and everything is as it should be. Thank you for the speedy response. And I'll remember, no more hash marks (#) in chapter titles. Sincerely, Willow Darkling.

Hey, guys. I have a problem with one chapter in my story. I was editing the whole story (a little thing in the AN) and discovered that I cannot pull up chapter 14. All that comes up is a number in the text field, and it appears that the entire chapter uploaded in the "Chapter title" field. Unfortunately I'm a complete computeretard and utterly tech illiterate, so asking me if I'm doing html something or other will only draw up an image of a highly evolved chimp scratching his head. So, I hope you'll forgive me for explaining this in layman's terms. First here is the link to the story: Lifelessly.A true story the problem is chapter 14 > ch. 14 When I upload a new chapter I just copy/paste from a word document into the text area. I always use that format when I upload a story. But this one chapter seems to have uploaded entirely into the "Chapter Title" box, and all that shows in the text area when I try to edit is this number: But looking at this chapter from the archive it comes up perfectly normal. Can anyone help me with this? I'm afraid to mess with it too much, because I might mess it up worse. And if anyone can help you must be able to explain the problem like your talking to a five year old. I just don't understand computers. Thank you, Willow Darkling.

Hey, guys. So chapter 42 is up. And I've got reviews for chapters 40 and 41 that I want to thank for. Thank you, Kylee, for the reviews. I hope you enjoy the new chapter, and don't worry, you'll get answers to your questions soon. I think you're right that Polinues was ready and his passion will only grow. I just love how you love Leyjen so much, I honestly wish I could let you meet him... maybe I can let you pet him?... Until next time, I'll leave you with our favorite icon.... Love, Darkling Willow.

Just wanted to add my two cents. Thank you, DemonGoddess for all of your amazing work and apparently endless patience, even when dealing with computeretards like myself. If it had not been for this site I never would have gotten as far with my story as I have, and my characters would still be immature five year olds running about in my head. So, thank you for everything, and thank you to the admins and the mods, you're all amazing and utter geniuses, with a wicked sense of humour too...

Wow, guys, it's been more than a month since I posted something here, so I think I better. But I've got this feeling the only people who ever check up on this are me and Kylee, so I don't know.... Anyways. I got a request from "Anonymous Sister of the Author", who's username made me laugh so hard, because I only have two younger sisters, asking me to update soon, and I did (kinda). So, I hope ASOTA is a very happy camper at the moment. Those of you who read the story should know that poor hubby started our marriage by falling off his bicycle and breaking his collarbone, but he's all better now and back at work. And then there was a little nugget from Kylee, I love that you can see the humour in Arlathi's fate, and that you can laugh at him that way. Let's hope I can keep pleasing you with his character as he develops. I get a feeling that somebody is holding their breath for things to go down... literally And I know you will not be disappointed, darling. And finally on chapter 39. look who's back with us!! Everybody wave, Welcome back, Teaques. Oooh, we've got some more Leyjen/Polinues fans here... it's just wonderful how people pick up on things that I haven't even noticed myself. I hadn't realized that Polinues' attraction was that much, but I guess the boy likes... well, his boys.... Good job picking up on that ridiculously vague hint, by the way. And finally: I hope you had an awesome time on vacation, Kylee. Was I too vague on Owain being the teen Polinues was admiring when the executioner's family moved in? Damn... I thought it was enough to say that he was the executioner's son, but maybe I could have elaborated on it a little more... sorry. Tihihi... spitting lizards... that one was funny, wasn't it? And don't worry too much about little Tiensin, he's going to be around for a while more. So thanks so much all of you for the reviews, and I can't wait to hear from you again. Love, Willow Darkling.

I think that sounds great. Many readers might not feel like signing up just so they can read the author responses, so they just skip it, but having it open would give them the freedom to check it out, without obligation of signing up. It might also get more people to sign up for the forum so they can respond to the author posts. Anyways, sounds like a very good idea. Sorry, it's almost 5 a.m. over here... can't sleep... I'll shut up now.

Yay, Kylee!! Haha, I love that... "questionable type of husband". And yes, Arlathi has rarely been considered a very nice brother. I did promise you a lot of smexing... so you're welcome. Thank you so much for the great review. And the congratulations... Wedding was on the 17th of July, and it couldn't have been more perfect. We only got four days off from work for our honeymoon, so we've just been sitting at home, enjoying leftover cake and doing absolutely nothing. Which was wonderful, but tomorrow it's back to work. Next chapter should be up this weekend. (I'm not promising, but let's hope I can stick with it)

ok, wow, it's been more than a month since I last posted something here, but like I've said so many times, I got a bad case of writer's block, started working again after a year and a half long break, and was planning a wedding.... But now, I'm married, got three more days of my honeymoon (which is fantastic) and have gotten my motivation to write back.... that is almost... I posted a couple of new chapters a few days before my wedding day, even though I knew they weren't perfect, just so I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving you guys hanging like that. The hit count went up pretty fast, but I've only gotten one review.... So, here goes: I'm very uncertain how to take this review, because you're previous ones have been rather nice, while this one made me feel bad. So, I'm going to start by answering a few points: Yes, Polinues likes the scent of cinnamon and cloves, but he does not understand the importance of this fact (yet). Leyjen and Polinues have always loved each other deeply, and there is nothing sudden about this turn of events. And please take into account that Polinues is a hormonal teenaged boy... they tend to lead with their crotch. I thought I had explained the depth of Leyjen's and Polinues' relationship well enough, but if something is unclear please feel free to ask. And I'll answer to the best of my abilities. Unfortunately there is no line that goes like that in the story, but on the other hand, yes, I admit the line where Leyjen explains that he would never commit murder if asked to, but that he would commit murder if Polinues commanded him to, but only at the risk of losing his humanity, it is a little cliché-ish, but stupid is not a word I agree with. I'm sorry. There will never, ever, ever, be Male Pregnancy in my story. I'm sorry, I find that cliché and stupid, not to mention physically impossible. Even though I write fantasy, I try to keep at least the minimal amount of reality. The point that you make about getting info about the housing and scenery, etc., I believe that is what the experts call "showing, not telling", and I'm happy to hear that I've gotten the hang of that. As for the sexual act in chapter 37. No, it was not meant to advance Leyjen's and Polinues' love. It was meant to show the darkness that lives inside Polinues, and his need to exert his power through physical actions. He has learned that power is best shown through physical force. And it was not unnecessary, it was one more barrier that Leyjen has fought to maintain, but then gives in far too easily. I'm very happy to hear that you like this story, and I'm sorry for disappointing with the last two chapters. Although it isn't much of an excuse for bad writing, I clearly stated in the Author Notes that I was suffering from writer's block, had just started a new job and was stressed out with planning my wedding. But I tried to keep writing. Obviously I shouldn't have. And finally I would like to point out that you did, nevertheless, call it "tacky".

hey, being a little narcissistic is fine too. I often feel that fear too... but I think my curiosity is of a more self-esteem issue related complexities. I wonder how bad it must be to get the attention of the mods, and also I want to see what those other guys did wrong, to make sure I'm not making the same mistakes... As for the troll section... I must admit.... I like to go troll hunting. It's good to know I'm not alone.

I just need to get this off my chest... and it would be funny to know if it happens to anyone else. I have a tendency to check every single one of the TOS report posts that come up when I check for new posts. Sometimes that is enough. But every so often I find one that make me curious and I really want to see what the violation is about.... only to see that the next post in the thread is from one of our glorious mods, and it says simply "problem taken care off"! Which makes me pout, for a second. I know I'm being silly and childish, and that the job that the mods are doing is so unappreciated and thankless that it's not even funny, and that TOS's aren't tolerated even for a moment. So, thank you mods for your work, and sorry that I'm more curious than is good for my health...

Kylee. *runs around the room, waving arms and screaming at the top of my lungs* AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I needed a smiley with an exploding head, because this comment was so amazing, my brain melted. THIS was exactly what I'm always trying to squeeze out of poor unimaginative hubby, and only get "It was gooooood." You actually saw more depth in Leyjen's character than I did, but everything you say is so perfectly true that it's like you're inside his head... in my head... wow, that came out worse than it was supposed to. I guess I'm too close to the characters, and I feel their emotions much deeper than I sense their motives, so reading this was just brilliant. You didn't just make my day, you made my whole week, and now I want to write. My motivation is SO back!! hahaha... crap, I've got to go to work, but I'll write when I'm done. Oh, boy will I write. Thank you so much for the in-depth answer, Kylee, it was so great to read that. It's impossible to describe how much it means to me to read an "outside" view of Leyjen's emotions and thought process. But believe me when I say, it's worth the world... So, thank you, Kylee, thank you, thank you, thank you. Sincerely, Willow.

Yay, Kylee. I had to quote this because there is one point I really want to ask you about, but lets start with... Thank you for the review. It really made my day (was having a lousy one) and once again, I'm sorry for making you sad. I'll promise you some delicious in up coming chapters instead... how's that? Ok, what I wanted to ask about is this comment: I feel as if Leyjen heart has been demolished and he has given up all hope. Even though Pol is in love with Leyjen right now, it feels like Leyjen has already given up on having a loving relationship with Pol. Could you elaborate a little on what gives you this feeling, how you think Leyjen shows this? Because Hubby said something very similar about what follows chapter 35, and I'm curious because I don't see it. Thanks again, Sincerely, Willow.

Chapter 35. Oh, wow. It's time to beg forgiveness once again. I'm so sorry for being so late with the new chapter, guys, but like I said in the AN I've been suffering from horrible writer's block. Or I've got Old Timer's disease now that I've turned 30! And on top of it, I'm still getting used to work, and I'm planning a wedding that's supposed to happen in SIX weeks. I can't believe it's so close. And the days go by far too quickly. Anyway. This particular chapter (#35) felt like it just didn't want to be written, and it was a complete pain to write. Literally felt like pulling teeth. I personally think it's utter crap, and should be buried in a shallow grave, covered in lime and forgotten about. But it's a plot point so it had to be written. Hopefully with this out of the way, I'll be able to produce the following chapters a little faster. Now for the reviews. There's been so many of them since I last posted that I'm only going to answer a couple of them, but those I don't mention for the reviews, they are the greatest, just like you all are, and I you for it. Now for the ones I wanted to mention specifically: I only quoted the last one of your reviews, womo, but thank you immensely for the many reviews. They were funny and insightful, and yes, Polinues had no qualms about kicking Tisék's corpse because deep inside he wished that it had been him that had killed Tisék. I'm so happy to see that you read the story so diligently, and can't wait to hear more from you. *dun, dun, dun* I love how you're always fishing for spoilers, lividfire. It makes me laugh every time. And in response to your post here on the forum, thank you very much for clearing up that confusion about your "Cliché" comment. You obviously meant it in the way that I chose to understand it. Let's just hope that my novel will be published, and that you will get the chance to read it. I can give you one spoiler for the big novel... Polinues and Brigale are the heroes in that one. Sorry, Kylee... man, I always get the feeling you'd kick my ass if you could, when I read your reviews.... but I love them for it too. It means that I'm accomplishing my goal, and writing a decent story. Keep up the fantastic reviews, and I'll do my best to keep writing more. And now there's a new reviewer. Class, say hi to Teaques: Teaques! Teaques wrote a review for ch. 23, but I'm putting it up here so everyone can say hi to him. Thank you, Teaques, and welcome to the group. I like the point you made about Belnsair not really being much of a brother, I never actually realized it myself. And that's it, at least for now. I promise there will be more in the following chapters, but there is supposed to be a story in there as well, so I hope you enjoy it. I'll be a better writer, and update more regularly, but bare with me at least until I'm married. Once the wedding is over with I'll be able to concentrate more on my writing. I'm sorry once again. Has anyone seen Ayouka (Lady Tamiko) around here lately? I seem to have lost her. And, yes, I looked behind the couch, she's not there. Anyway, Ayouka, if you see this, I wish you a very happy, very belated birthday, and I hope yours was as awesome as mine was. Love you all, and can't wait to hear from you again. Sincerely, Willow.

I'm so sorry, Blackadder. I've never bothered with saving stuff anywhere other than the computer, and have lost a couple of years worth of work, for my novel, but I didn't care at the time. But reading this... Like I said, I'm so sorry you lost all that work. I'm going to buy a key drive tomorrow when I get paid. Your loss convinced me that the risk isn't worth it. I'm so sorry... I'm getting all emotional over this.

Hey, guys. Once again I grovel and beg your forgiveness for being so late in posting. But *ta-ra-tata* I have an excuse!!! I'm really sorry, this chapter just didn't want to come out, and much less to be posted. I had no motivation to write in the past week and a half, and for that I truly am sorry. I guess planning a wedding in ten weeks is a little crazy, and draining, especially when both parties have jobs. But, hey, Chapter 34 is up now, and I've got some reviews to thank for. So thank you very much, Kylee, Ayouka and Womo. I really enjoyed reading your reviews and hope you forgive me. It's like 2 a.m. over here now, so I'm going to go to sleep, but I can't wait to hear from you guys. Love you, and good night. Darkling Willow.

Chapter 31. Hey, guys, I know I'm late in posting, but it was a little harder starting work than I anticipated. I guess a year and a half of unemployment does change a thing or two... So, Now chapter 31 is up, and I've already got a couple of reviews. It's so great to hear from you guys again. I'll answer in order.... Tihihi, Sorry? The chapter just would have become way too long if I had kept going, but don't worry, the next chapter will be up soon. I have to admit I'm not quite sure how to take your comment about the "Cliché vampire story", so I'm just going to say thank you very much. As for the story line, I'm most definitely not Lost-ing my way through it. Although the story line isn't like set in concrete, I have a very solid idea where we're headed. I'm sorry, but I've never heard of that movie. Polinues has been growing up in my head for the past thirteen years, so he's 100% home-made original. But now I'm going to have to look that movie up. (edit: I looked it up. I saw that movie on TV earlier this year for the first time.) As for the age gap, I know. There's nine years between my parents, and honestly it doesn't seem to affect them that much. I guess you'll just have read on to find out how it ends. Ayouka!! Oh, baby, you make me squee every time!! I love the fact that I could make you pissed off... sorry, that doesn't sound good... but I still love the fact that you get so emotionally involved in the story. I was really excited to see your reaction to Tisék's demise, and you didn't disappoint. I can actually feel how much you hated him. I'm sorry if I make it hard for you to read, but I've got a sneaking suspicion that you like it... Please, feel free to rant away. I love it. Oh, and the Blood Drop bit... don't forget how important it is for the plot. Remember what it means. *dun, dun, dun,* So, thanks to both of you for your reviews, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest. You rock. EDIT: I've got a couple of more reviews, so I'm just going to edit this post, instead of making a new reply. Yay, Kylee!! ? I feel kind of bad making you and Ayouka so upset, but at the same time I get such an egoboost reading your reviews. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. Ow, it's kind of cute that you have a crush on Amraeen... I do too... a little bit. He's a sweetie. But so broken. You're awesome! And now, a new reader. Class, say hi to Womo. HI, Womo. Oh, wow, thank you so much, Womo. I'm cool with you reading through before you review, just as long as I get to hear from you eventually. Just focus on school, and r&r when you've got the time. I honestly didn't realize that the format was so bad, because I thought I used too much paragraphing. Sorry I made you cry. But it makes me a little giddy to know that I don't totally suck at this. Thank you so much.

Hey guys... Yay!! Chapter 30 is finally up. I just wanted to tell you all, thanks so much for your patience and your kind words in these past few weeks. I'm on the mend now, and I'll even start working on Monday. So, I know this chapter is a little weird, and quite long, but it actually turned out longer than I intended. I hope you don't completely hate it, because it contains a few important bits for the story. And the next chapter should be up by next weekend, and I'm hoping I'll be able to update weekly from now on. So, thanks again guys, and hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story.

Hey guys. Thank you, Ayouka, for those kind words. I'll keep you guys updated about all that, but for now, just enjoy Easter, and eat a bunch of chocolate. I'm trying to not be too sad about granddad passing, I try to remember that now he's in a better place, free of the pain of cancer and he's back with my grandmother, who died 20 years ago. Wow... it's been 20 years. Now I'm just going to concentrate on my granddad's second wife, and on getting my own life back into order. I know this may sound a little cold and callous, but I don't really believe in mourning (for a long time) someone who has lived a full life, and raised a great family, and had his fair share of ups and downs, and everything in between. Especially not when that same someone dies from a very painful illness. I'd much rather celebrate the life he lived, the people he left behind, and believe that he would much rather see me succeed than see me mourn him for a long time. I'm not saying I'm not sad he's gone... (I mean, I'm not heartless)... but I don't want to forget to live because I'm in mourning... Jeeze, I've stopped making sense again.. It's 2:40 am over here, so maybe I should just stop this and go to sleep... Enough of this. Thank you both for your support and wonderful words, you have no idea how much it means to me. <3 As for the new chapter and your comments... oohh, you guys are so wonderfully synchronized in this, that I love it. I'll start with Ayouka, because she was first. Oh, wow, how you made me laugh with that comment about Tisék. I loved it. That's actually a brilliant definition of him. Thank you for the point about the vulnerability of the characters, because honestly I hadn't noticed it, and often feel like everyone in the story is being an emo-whiny boy. But I'm so psyched that I've managed to write them that way. Now let's hope I don't get self-conscious about it, and eff it up. I have to admit that I'm a little miffed that you figured Brigale out immediately, because I was trying so hard to hide his identity, even if it was only for a little bit. I wanted the reader to go a little, "hum, who is that guy?"... You're obviously too smart for me.... So, thank you for a very wonderful review. Oh, one thing... did you notice you kept spelling Leyjen's name Leygen? Sorry to point it out, but it kind of stung me when I read your comment, you know, how misspelled words sting when you're reading something. And now you, Kylee... Ok, I want to know... why do you think Polinues is a brat? Is it because he's become possessive of Hiram, Thelaura and Cooksie? Please tell me, because that comment made me laugh. I'm sorry if I broke your heart with the whole thing with Amraeen. And I hope you can forgive me for that. As for Tisék pushing Leyjen around, it's one of those things where he figured it's better to be in pain than to be empty. Unfortunately, like Leyjen explained to Polinues, Leyjen can't do much to harm Tisék, while Leyjen has everything to lose. Tisék's father is only one rank below Wrailan in the Knighthood, and Leyjen is the (probably) illegitimate son of a maid, and a disranked lord. So, Leyjen didn't even get the short end of that stick, he only got a splinter of it! And thank you. I sort of answered that last bit above so, I'm not going to do it again. But now I've got a question for both of you. Since you guys seem to be the only ones who post here. Can either one of you draw or make pictures on the computer? I can't draw at all, I even eff up stick figures, but my imagination works in such a way that I always get pictures in my head instead of thoughts when I'm writing and creating characters and stuff. The thing is that, ever since I started writing this story I've been wanting to see Leyjen and Polinues (and any of the other characters if you're willing), and I was wondering that if you can draw or make computer pictures, whether you'd be willing to make some for me. I won't be able to pay for it in any way, and I'm not asking you for something that I'd take the copyright of. I'm only asking if you could make something that gives me an idea of what they look like. I've got a picture of an actor that I can see as almost the perfect Leyjen, but like I said, I can't change the picture into Leyjen. And before you jump up and down, yelling that you're ready to do it, I should tell you, that I'm horribly picky and want something like really perfect. Something like this: perfect So, if you guys can, I'd love it. If you can't... well, then thank you anyway. And thank you so much, (again) for your support and kind words. It does mean a lot. Sincerely, Darkling Willow.

Hey, guys. First off, thank you both, Kylee and Ayouka, for your messages. The past weekend was hard, and things got really bad for a bit. Ok, so, the funeral is set for next Tuesday, right after Easter. So, posting of Chapter 30. might not happen until sometime late next week, early week after that. But here is Chapter 29. and it's quite long, (about 10 pages, in word). I hope you'll enjoy it, and I'm looking forward to your reviews, because they usually make my day. Not to mention all the new posters... like this one Oh, mwuhahahaha.... wouldn't you like to know, Lividfire.... you'll have to read more to find out. Tons of hugs and gratitude, Darkling Willow.

Marley_Station!! You rock!! Sometimes I've got the TV, sometimes I've got some music (depending on mood) and sometimes I don't have anything. And I mean literally nothing! Like I'm home alone, and sit in the office, and there is just complete silence except for the noises outside or upstairs. The music I listen to? Rammstein - their latest album especially (Liebe ist für alle da) Some 3 Doors Down, Linkin Park, Therion (album: Deggial), Kelly Clarkson, Nightwish, Within Temptation, a little bit of everything. And lately, Adam Lambert's "For your entertainment"... I've become utterly obsessed with his bassist.... go figure. But there is quite a bit of diversity in what I listen to, and very often I get ideas from the music. Like I've got an opening scene for my novel, from the beginning of Rammstein's "Ich tu dir veh". The music just made a movie in my head, and I knew exactly what I wanted for the opening scene.

Sorry, guys. Granddad died on Friday. Be patient with me. I'll start again, when I find my head.... Sorry.

MWUHAHAHA, MWUHAHAHA! (That's my evil genius laugh, you see!) Thank you, Ayouka (is it ok, if I use that name? I like it) That was such an awesome comment!! It was BE-Awesome!! (sorry, watched "Bolt" for the first time the other day, and can't get that stupid line out of my head) And since I'm feeling giddy, and sick and want to be a jacka$$, I'm going to quote the "Prophet Chuck": *Bow, Bow, Bow* Thank you thank you.... Man, I wish I could get a reaction like that out of my hubby. Seriously, Kylee's getting all upset, Ayouka is getting all upset, and I'm getting the biggest ego-boosts I've ever gotten! You guys rock! Thank you. Sincerely, Darkling Willow. Don't take this the wrong way, guys, I'm just a little off because of the flu... I'm not always this giddy. I'll blame it on the cough syrup

Yay! Thanks Kylee, and I'm sorry about your relatives. Can I ask, where are you in the world? I've been trying to figure it out based on the times that you review, but I'm just not that good at math.... As for the story... yet another squee worthy comment, I'm so happy you like it. I take it Leyjen has become your favorite? That's really sweet that you want to comfort him that much. I hope I can keep delivering like that. And there is reason to the madness... I promise. Ayouka, thank you so much for your comment, and thank you so much for spending two days to catch up. Wow, I don't have words for how much that means to me. When I read your comments I got so giddy I just kept squeeing and clapping my hands, because I couldn't articulate my thoughts. Hubby laughed for like twenty minutes. As for the title, it is a sort of working title, and the story was supposed to center around him, but somehow it just went the other way. Maybe because Leyjen is growing up so much (as a character) through this story, but Polinues has been pretty solid for a couple of years now. Oh, and Ayouka, you've got the coolest birthday! I only know three other people who are born on that day, plus myself, so you rock!! So, thanks again, both of you, and hope you enjoy the new chapter. Sincerely, Darkling Willow. P.S. Just call me Willow... that's enough.

Hey, Kylee... gods, I hope you'll read this. I got the next chapter up, and I hope you don't want to kill me for it, but there is reason to the madness, I promise you. But I wanted to apologize in person for having taken so long, and I didn't want to put this up in an author's note. The thing is, I had to go visit my granddad over the weekend, he's dying of cancer, and it really shook me badly, so I've hardly been able to write a word, since Thursday. I'm having a hard time dealing with him being sick. Well, then on the drive back on Sunday, I started feeling sort of lousy, and woke up yesterday with a sore throat, a fever and achy bones. I hate that, those fever pains in your bones, I'm such a wuss that I just turn into a whiny five year old. Thank the Gods that I have a wonderful hubby who doesn't mind catering to my wussiness. Anyways, I'm still sick, but my brain isn't as muddled as it was yesterday, so hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter up by the end of this week. Hope I'll hear from you, once you've read the chapter, and please forgive me. Both for taking so long updating, and for the chapter. And once again, thank you so much for all of your comments. You make me squee, every time, and sometimes your comments literally make my day. Sincerely, Darkling Willow. P.S. Just read your latest comment, Kylee, and am squeeing, despite sore throat and all!! Thank you!! That actually made being sick worth it... damn I want to give you a hug.