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What I said: “7 oz can of chipotles in adobo.” What the phone heard: “7 oz can of Chipotles in a dildo.” Even my grocery list is not safe.

Never trust any book with a tagline or summary of this would make Lovecraft scared. Lovecraft is not a viable reference of fear. Man was afraid of Penguins, Air Conditioners and the Welsh.

I’ll be heading off tomorrow for my holiday. I’ll be landing back in Australia on 15th September local. Try to keep the place tidy while I’m gone.

People love saying, “Love is blind.” I have to disagree. I think love is looking at someone, knowing that somewhere out there, a tree gave its all to ensure they have air to breathe, and feeling feel sorry for the tree…and knowing you’d burn a whole forest to the ground if a single tree took offense at supplying your idiot with oxygen. I love my husband. He’s an idjit, but he’s my idjit. I’d love him even if he had to be reminded to breathe.

Welp! Its official my old laptop died. The one I’ve kept since before college. Rip. The one I first started writing on here with. May you fly with the great Wifi in the sky.