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ya Yeah, but how many people can say they walked through the fire - you can! You have nothing to prove, you've earned your right to be standing on this planet, you bled for that right after all.

Retiring was the hardest thing I had to do; fact I retired what three times . You'll miss it but there's a time to take the harness off; different for all of us and its a decision you have to make for yourself, just remember to be honest with yourself. if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't, don't let peer pressure or stupid things like some macho code decide for you, remember you are not the only one your decision affects. And you can still teach, there are people stateside looking for instructors with your skills and experience, pays not half bad and its nice being able to spend most of your nights and weekends with your family - and don't knock a nice warm soft bed either! beats the hell out of sleeping in the mud!

Another reason to not overstay past your due date is that you become more of a liability to those that follow you and eventually you make mistakes that causes good people to die. "Sooo how long til the next chapter?" he asks on behalf of Samara.

The most important part that you have to consider is are you afraid to Live or Die? Dying is easy and once done that's it, while Living takes Courage everyday as you have more decisions to make and others that depend on you for Love and guidance. As Magus & Sniper can attest to when you train others you not only help them but all those that they pass your knowledge onto. So you end up saving a lot more than by just leading a few.

I will think about it thank you so much it is a hard decision and it will change a lot of people's lives if I retire I'm sorry if I offended with the chicken thing but I am scared scared shitless to go back out thereThe mac code is huge you know that

Gotta take exception to some of you comment. I DO NOT think making a rational decision to NOT go back in the line of fire is "chicken"! Should you make that decision to "retire" based on the comments from fellow vets here it would be the, in "our" opinion the correct one. PLEASE carefully read the comments of Sniper and Mangus. You have done more than your part and can contribute to the ongoing wellbeing of the country and the guys in the field by passing on you experience and expertise to those coming up. Don't let that get lost. B

Take your time and do not let the drugs talk for you. Been there and done that and regretted the outcome. Let the family help you. You would be surprised at the love and help they will give you while you are recovering. Like I said just keep the faith. They love you are they would not be coming to your aid. Give them your love back.

I know how you are feeling. My wife dreaded the phone ringing anytime I was home and really dreaded a knock on the door. I could not tell her where I was or when I was coming back. Even after I retired not ony her but I dreaded phone calls because of who I was working for near the end of my career. To this day I still am visited by ghost and have cold chills at night and if it was not for the love of my life being their to comfort me I would still be a basket case. But I and everyone here believe that if you hang in there and tell your family how you are that they will be there in your corner for you. You would be suprise how supportive they will be for you. Keep the faith.

Suggest you look at some of replies here. This is an open forum and some of the folks here seem to have experience in similar lines of endeavor. You may want to PM or e-mail them. Hope your recovery goes well. B

The ghost never leave. I can not visit the wall in DC without getting chills and tears in my eyes because some of my friends are on it and I know of two that were in the same area with me in the jungle. At least the helmet saved you. I went into the jungle with a soft bush hat on. Helmet made to much noise and was heavy to carry. As much weight that I could leave at the base was fine with me and the others. I usually carried about 140 pounds of equpment on me and if I got shot in the head I would be dead. I have been shot in the arm and leg so I know that it hurts like hell. Like everyone is saying, just remember the ones that you did save. They can go on living. Remember the ones that did not in memory. If you let it tear you up you will never fully recover and then you will be no good to anyone and I believe that you are to good to just give up on life just yet. At 24 you have a lot to live for. As to making the call - some are good calls and some are bad ones but they all have to be done sometimes in our life. Keep the faith and get well soon.

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way! Lucky rabbit!

@Joe Long It's an interesting discussion to have. Frankly, and I know this sounds cliché, it all depends on the person. In the eyes of the law, eighteen is the limit because, as a general consensus within the eyes of commonplace emotional-maturity as it pertains to society, that is a generally agreed-upon limit of maturity after which one may be considered 'adult' enough to make such a decision, at least as it pertains to people older than them. As far as I know, if two sixteen-year-olds or whatever have sex with each other, the law doesn't care. I mean, I'm sure the parents care, but I don't think the police actually get involved unless it's public or one of the participants is over eighteen (unless we consider the rather confusing Romeo-and-Juliet laws, but that's another discussion). Frankly, I knew a LOT more people having sex in high-school and college-years than I do in the 'real world'. You could make the argument that real life and everything is getting in the way, but I'd say part of what makes younger folks so sex-happy is the newness and 'mystery' of it. I hold that no beer or cigarette ever tastes better than when you're too young to have it. Now, of course, with experience comes appreciation so I think that the abundance of sex in younger generations is not a bad thing, but what I will certainly caution my children on is, well, excess. You dull yourself to sex too quickly, how's it gonna be when you meet The One? Don't wanna kill the charm too quickly. There's a fantastic movie with Joseph Gordon-Lovitt called Don Jon that's about that very subject. So...like I said, it's all on the individual. As long as they're being smart and understand what they're doing, I say let them do it, as long as they understand moderation and consequences. And, honestly, I don't think there should be a restriction with stories. As long as the story explains why the characters are doing what they're doing, rather than sex for the sake of sex, then I think it's perfectly fine. As long as the story acknowledges that stuff like that isn't necessarily right or even that common, then whatever happens happens and to deny that something like that has or could happen seems rather dishonest and needlessly restrictive. Also, I must make the point that I made on the blue site: how can loving, consensual sex between slightly younger kids be completely taboo and yet rape, torture, and murder porn be perfectly fine just because the characters are slightly older?