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GeorgeGlass

Plot bunnies must die

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My cable company made all the premium channels free over Thanksgiving weekend, so I recorded some movies. One of these was Frozen, because I wanted to know what half the kids on the planet Earth were so excited about.

So a few nights ago, I watched it. And frankly, I thought it was brilliant. Not only did it have great music and wonderful visuals, but it's written really well: The writers know that this is probably not your first Disney movie, and that you therefore have certain expectations about what is going to happen. And they use those expectations to completely screw with you, in some really good ways.

So now, fresh off NaNoWriMo with well over a dozen neglected in-progress stories waiting for me to work on them, I find that there is a stupid, stupid, stupid Frozen fanfic writing itself in my head. And the only thing I fear more than the shame of writing it is the disappointment of not writing it.

For Christ's sake, I'm a childless man in my mid-forties. Shouldn't I be immune to this sort of nonsense? I mean, it's freakin' DISNEY.

Please kill me. Then the bunnies. Then me again, just to be sure.

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You do realize that plot bunnies are impossible to actually kill, don't you? They just respawn, and you never know what they'll pick up on their way back. Trust me on this.

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My most evil plot bunny (currently locked in the closet) was spawned while driving with my mother. I was passed by a tanker carrying jet fuel, and moments later, a truck loaded with industrial lubricant passed me.

I blame my mother for pointing out the truck of lube.

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My most evil plot bunny (currently locked in the closet) was spawned while driving with my mother. I was passed by a tanker carrying jet fuel, and moments later, a truck loaded with industrial lubricant passed me.

I blame my mother for pointing out the truck of lube.

Wow. Suddenly my situation doesn't look so bad. At least my mom isn't involved. :)

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I think I can sympathize. Ideas for Frozen fanfics keep on popping in my head despite not actually liking the movie (or any of the characters).

Wow. I can't say I've ever had ideas for a fanfic about a movie (or anything else) that I didn't like. Is it still fanfic if you're not a fan?

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It's been a year now since the plot bunnies pinned me down with my own bedsheets, jumped all over my face, and demanded that I write an epic Frozen story. Rather than suffer the Death of a Thousand Hops, I relented and started writing.

Now, 372 days and 15 chapters later, the end is in sight. So far, I've given the bunnies everything they want: action, romance, mystery, comedy, drama, drinking songs, sexual innuendo, sexual not-so-innuendo, the works. All they demand now is a spectacular grand finale, the tying up of loose ends, a bit more gettin'-it-on, and some laughter and tears, and then they'll let me go.

I will accede to their demands. But I know the truth: that they are almost certainly lying their floppy little ears off. I don't think they have any intention of letting me go--I think they are going to make me write a SEQUEL.

Oh, God, I think one of them just hopped by and saw me posting this message instead of writing chapter 16. Gotta go!

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end it with the one sister having such an intense orgasm she explodes in a lethal shower of deadly icicles that kill everyone in the kingdom...take that plot bunnies! I ain't scared of you, I eat bunnies for dinner, seriously I just had roast rabbit the other day ;)

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