JayDee

The Boy Who Ate Shit And… Sorry for the slow reply! Thank you for the review. I’ve recently found out some of my stories inadvertantly cause petrification so it may have been a turning to stone rather than arousal! Ahem, I recently saw an episode of a show that had Helena Bonham Carter’s blood-spattered character suffering with constipation on a toilet through a musical-fantasy sequence and it inexplicably reminded me of writing this filth. Funny old world.

White Snow, Red Snow, Yellow Snow Hi! Thanks for trying to review, but unfortunately it’s showing blank so I don’t know if you were going to be negative, positive or a mixture of both

Well. It’s October. I got nothing worth a damn. Hardly have any ideas. Forgot how to write. Even reading is proving tough to maintain concentration. But, here: ** A vampire suffers from low self esteem because the others are all Counts while he is just a local squire. ** An exhibitionist finds themselves trapped amongst the deaf, mute, and blind. ** After a particularly heavy session on Arthur Guinness’s finest, The Dullahan wakes up to find his head has married one sister and his body has married the other, and they hate the sight of each other. His hungover horse says “I did say nay.” ** A user splits Microsoft’s One Note into two notes and the resulting energy release scours the surface of the Earth clean of life, except for a group of deep miners who emerge into the smoking ruins of the world. ** A supervillain launches a diabolical scheme to turn all the world’s porn furry. ** As the heat death of the universe finally winds down to stillness at the end of all things, a stillness that cannot even truly be called eternal for eternity requires the passage of time and even time will end, Valve releases Half-Life 3 ** The abandoned Mars Rovers return…. and they are HORNY.

The oddest sentence I got was one Neptunian year in prison for that incident where I offended the ambassador and nearly caused a solar system wide war

You Can Take The Boy Out Of The Moisture Farm… Thank you for your comment. It’s definitely not the best written Star Wars storyline. Though possibly still better than anything in The Phantom Menace with Jar Jar. I wrote it as a request for someone. I don’t think they ever reviewed it. Incest between consenting adults with no difference in power or control levels (and not having kids because jesus christ look at some of the aristocratic families) oughta probably be nobody’s interest but their own. Not that that’s what is shown here of course, this one’s rapey.

For the Honour of The Slytherin Well… this is an odd comment. I’m certainly going to Hell if such a place exists, and I am disgusting, but I’ve no interest in children and have never written minor1 stories, or any minor2 stories with characters under 16 –and as I’ve got older I’ve tended away from writing stories with even 16-17 year old characters, although this one was written back when I was a lot closer in age to the characters. I can only assume that this comment came from someone who masturbated so furiously over a story featuring actual children that, having blown a prostate-punishing load into their own eyes, they accidentally clicked the wrong story to comment on during the waves of post-orgasmic guilt.

The Crushing of Cassie Cage Nice comment! Thank you!

Mindy's Revenge Thanks for the comment! Yes, yes she is! The best shot of Chief Wiggum’s career! Entirely unintentionally. Thanks for your comment

*Clicks link* “OH MY GOD! JERSEY CITY!”

I came back to about 30. Have been through deleting. Like others, I do prefer keeping my anonymous reviews open!

Small voice from the back: “Couple of large jugs…. of wine please.” As a disgusting pornographer with almost no fictional morals I say ‘No problem! Go with whatever makes ya happy Porn boobily and make the breast of it!” but I feel like reddit’s MenWritingWomen subreddit and possibly wider groups would react to the above with much the same level of hospitality showed by the maenads to Orpheus. You could alway counterbalance it with description of the man, “The sot’s undersized cock twitched in his breaches like a distressed otter, spraying his fear from a tiny slit shaped strangely like the dry lips of the old preacher. An jagged scar near the base told of the time he’d tried urinating in a Pike filled river, meanwhile his alcohol-damaged testicles hung loosely in a hairy sack that grew damp in the voided trickle.”

“Fuck you, you cunts!” “Gosh Harry, you’re talking like a local already.” “CUNTS!” “Yes, you are too Luna.”